Happy Christmas, Here's The Gift Of Divorce!
Being the (*prepare for eye roll*) caring gentleman that Ashton Kutcher is (*aaaaaaaand roll*), he waited an entire year for Demi Moore to file for divorce, because something about dignity and he felt she should do the honors. But because Demi has been too busy eating and spitting out 20-something dick to even think about filing divorce papers, Ashton Kutcher did it himself in Los Angeles today. Merry Christmas, Demi! Or if she's still wearing the red string, Happy Kabbalakuh, Demi!
People says that Ashton blamed their divorce on "irreconcilable differences" and he doesn't want any spousal support and he doesn't want Demi to get any either. TMZ says that Ashton wants to wait to figure out how they should split up their property.
So Ashton will most likely spend Christmas with his head buried in Mila Kunis' crotch.... And since Demi is boy toy-free and the Tater Sisters hate her right now, she's going to spend Christmas Eve in the inside of a dive bar in the San Fernando Valley where she'll drunkenly dance in the corner by herself to a Jimmy Buffett song while winking at the 22-year-old barback. It's going to be Demi's best Christmas ever!
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Lady GaGa, seen here on Halloween putting the skunk in skunk weed, wants to know why the media poked at her when she gained a few pounds.Las Vegas Divorce attorney
Submitted by Super Stew on Sat, 12/22/2012 - 10:36am.
Your translation is incorrect.
Compound words in German mean more than just the sum of their parts. Trying to translate them literally often results in gibberish.
Backpfeifengesicht means "a face that needs punching." A pity we don't have an English word for this.
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Submitted by Darknight on Fri, 11/09/2012 - 4:27pm.
THE TRUTH. Making the world a better place.
It speaks volumes that her 3 daughters/children have broken all contact with her. Demi is a warmed over, 8 day old mess. The recent pics of her with spread legs in a mini-jumper from Always 20+1 are cringe-worthy. You can see Lenni Kravitz desperately trying to get her out of his 12"'s of personal space.
Demi had her 3 kids. She couldn't give him any children. Therefore it was doomed to end eventually.
I guess Ashhat thought the world was going to end yesterday and it didn't.
demi moore and demi lovato should become lesbian lovers. that would fuck some people's heads up
Demi's dancing annoys me, but Ashton himself is far worse.
Jersey Strong
And of course I agree he's a douchebag. Wasting someone else's time like that only to dump them is just selfish and pathetic.
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
It was obvious that he'd leave Demi. Too bad she didn't take that into consideration. With an age difference that big you can't really expect a guy to commit for life.
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
How do you just 'move on' from someone you truly loved unless you never truly loved them at all?
Does a marriage free of issues/drama/problems mean it's a strong one compared to people who have overcome huge battles of the external/internal/spiritual to stay together?
/sigh off
So Ashton will most likely spend Christmas with his head buried in Mila Kunis' crotch....
So jealous.
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I remember reading an interview with Ally Sheedy in which she said Demi married Bruce Willis because she wanted to have the kind of media coverage that Madonna and Sean Penn got. I guess she thought of milking this marriage for a few more minutes because that's all she has going for these days.
Last night I caught a bit of "Beavis and Butthead Do America" from 1996. Hey, it's a classic! Anyway, I had forgotten that Demi was the voice of the female arms dealer. That's probably when young Ashton fell in love with her!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by FreakGeek on Sat, 12/22/2012 - 1:44pm.
Guess Demi thinks everyone is as delusional as she is:
The date of separation is the key date. Sounds like she has it pegged in November 2011, after his San Diego hotel romp came to light and the two lovebirds unsuccessfully tried Kabbalah counseling.
They probably were trying to carve out an amicable property settlement in private, then file a "package" dissolution with all issues resolved. But somebody dragged his or her feet, or they couldn't agree on how to divvy up the goods or what they were worth. That's why his divorce petition is so incomplete.
He's an asshole. And his new gf looks like the Grinch.
Guess Demi thinks everyone is as delusional as she is: http://www.tmz.com/2012/12/22/demi-moore-divorce-ashton-kutcher-file/ Lame, bullshit excuse.
Good. Now can they go away?
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Most women would eat a tub of Hagan Daz ice cream after being served divorce papers. Demi eats another 28-year old instead. That's how she stays so thin.
How pathetic can you get... What the hell was she waiting for that she didn't file the papers first?
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
'backpfeifengesicht'
Heh. Looked it up on google translate. The definition is 'back whistling face'.
Back whistling sounds like another name for pooting.
So, is it safe to say that Ashton is a fartface?
Demi needs to buy some dignity at the Dollar Store.
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"Going to Burger King to eat healthy is like going to a prostitute for a hug." Dlister Supah 8.20.11
I can't wait until this divorce is over. Demi is probably huffing spray paint this afternoon. If she doesn't get it together she's going to end up another pathetically cliche Hollywood OD.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
4get this nigga girl! U were in my 2 all time favorite movies,bitch! Represent..
German is a great language. They've got a compound word for everything.
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Submitted by Darknight on Fri, 11/09/2012 - 4:27pm.
THE TRUTH. Making the world a better place.
backpfeifengesicht :a face that cries out for a fist in it.
Awesome Migraineuse!! Haaha, gotta use that German word!
Kutcher has a backpfeifengesicht.
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Submitted by Darknight on Fri, 11/09/2012 - 4:27pm.
THE TRUTH. Making the world a better place.
Good move regardless. It is over and it best to cut that cancer off. If Demi thought she stood a chance than she needs to tend to her bipolar dilusions STAT!
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Ugh, these two poser douchebags. Demi - get some real therapy which you can afford (not some Kabballah bs), some self control and GROW THE FUCK UP! Her daughters seem far more in control of their behaviour than her.
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Fri, 12/21/2012 - 10:05pm.
I must disagree, mon ami. Ryan Lochte is miles more obnoxious and douchey than Kutcher, but Kutcher is pushed in our faces all the time, while Lochte is only heard from every four years.
So I think Kutcher still wins.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
the reason, beyond all other, why he filed today is because everyone is gone on holidays, less media coverage (slow news day), people have other things on their mind, less hype. By the time it's Monday, it will be old news and there'll be other things to gossip about.
Holidays are the most discrete time to file divorce papers. Apparently, it's the oldest trick in the book. Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey filed right before thanksgiving.
voila. Makes sense.
When Dimmie started going all Glenn Close on Mila..::: boiled bunny ..' I won't be ignored '... Then throws shade with Terri Richardson no less..
It seems that despite the little red string.. Karma has come to call.
I'd say I'm surprised by this but the truth is I heard it in a song while I was sleeping upside down in my daughter's closet.- Dog
They're both dreadful. And while I never found Mila Kunis attractive, I think she's starting to look like a middle aged Ukranian woman these days. Douches one and all!
http://celebsnetworth.org/mila-kunis-no-makeup/
Submitted by Kisa on Sat, 12/22/2012 - 2:06am.
Whamo it's mayor fords fault !;)
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Lol, I get ya ;)
Whamo it's mayor fords fault !;)
"If it were socially acceptable I would esconce myself in velvet. " George Costanza
Does her behavior really surprise anyone? Didn't her mother publicly embarrass Demi ?
I have concluded that Demi is no victim. Yes, he cheated on her and embarrassed her internationally, but it became quite clear that she was using him to extend her youth. She identified as Mrs. Kutcher on Twitter. She posted pics of herself in a bikini with him in the front of the photo. She devoted herself to presenting a youthful image. I understand that at 45 you can still feel 35. But there should at least be some maturity and less neediness. Their behavior after the break up has been the most telling to me. He and Mila are quiet and normal. Demi is in rehab, then throwing herself around, then wasting away...I think Demi was two handfuls of crazy.
Annoyed.
Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Sat, 12/22/2012 - 1:15am
Just look at his history with Brittany Murphy and Bitchface Jones.
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IMO how someone treated their ex is pretty high up there on the fucktard litmus test. Mila is either dickmatized or Asstain's peen spews the crazysauce.
Submitted by CodeRed on Fri, 12/21/2012 - 10:05pm.
Taxes? as far as I'm aware, the fiscal year (for stocks, bonds, funds, annuities) ends on March 1st for the preceding year.
I don't think it has anything to do with money, after doing nothing for a year and not requesting any spousal support.
*and personal taxes to April 30th.
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Maybe for some companies, depending on their FY, but for the vast bulk of individuals, it's on a calendar-year basis.
You know he made Demi live out all of his fantasies and now he is nailing Mila seven ways to Sunday...
YOU EARNED THE RIGHT TO BE COCKY!
"Just look at all the fucks I give!"
"Faith means not wanting to know what is true." — Friedrich Nietzsche
"Is your name Michael Diamond?" "Naw, mine's Clarence..."
He looks like a braying ass. What a foolio. Both of them.
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
i hate that stupid ass face he makes there. it is like he's made it his signature thing.
he's one of those people who you just want to punch in face right? or is it just me...
Submitted by Kisa on Sat, 12/22/2012 - 12:28am.
Whamo 5% chance of white Xmas here in Toronto how's it's look in your neck of the woods ?
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My neck of the woods is the same. I'm not too far outside of the city actually.
Remember Asspads modeling tighty whites in V magazine.. They had a men's edition for awhile... I don't know if they still publish it....he sucked ...;p.. Anyway... Miss Murphy was wonderful and way to good for him... JMO
I'd say I'm surprised by this but the truth is I heard it in a song while I was sleeping upside down in my daughter's closet.- Dog
Submitted by veryoldbat on Sat, 12/22/2012 - 1:11am.
I guess you have a point, I just know if I was over someone and serious about it..I wouldn't drag my feet on the divorce. Just look at his history with Brittany Murphy and Bitchface Jones.
Submitted by dirty sancho on Fri, 12/21/2012 - 10:12pm.
... I'm trying to understand why a 50-year-old is having such a hard time letting go of this douchetard.
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What dirty sancho said ^^
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"
PMH... I remember something about them talking.. But things when south when his relationship with Mila was outed as more than friends with benefits. Last May .. Her daughters were on asssssshhhtpads side. If your daughters are pissed cause you won't move on.... Read someplace***. Dimmie text bombs Mila. Leaves scalding voice mails.etc.. I'm pretty sure sure she lit dog shit on fire and toilet papered their doorman..;) too.... I lost sympathy for her then. Nothing says this Is how much I don't want you in my life like divorce papers at Christmas...
I'd say I'm surprised by this but the truth is I heard it in a song while I was sleeping upside down in my daughter's closet.- Dog
Submitted by blather999 on Sat, 12/22/2012 - 12:17am.
Dahlink...I am a dual citizen and I cannot be more emphatic about the lack of Brits' dental hygiene. When my UK pals come to visit (and we're talking upper middle class), I can count on them not packing paste or brush nor using those supplied in guest bath. Ditto for my Aussie mates.
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Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Sat, 12/22/2012 - 12:47am.
that just tells us that British must have vision problems as well as nasty teefs
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Weird. Maybe I'm an anomaly!
From now on, the term "braying ass" will always conjure the image of this photo for me.
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"
Submitted by veryoldbat on Sat, 12/22/2012 - 12:38am.
That's what he says! Remember MK posted something a while back about him and Dummy being at some event and he gave a speech and started crying like he still loved Dummy? I wouldn't doubt if ASShton still plays with Dummy's unstable ass like they are going to get back together or something.
speaking of Ashton,
RIP Brittany Murphy gone 3 years yesterday, Ioved your talent and your smile!