Ronnie Wood Is Trying The Marriage Thing Again For A Third Time
Paul McCartney always keeps bodyguards armed with bags of termites near him just in case Heather Mills shows up to attack his ass and since he was a guest at Ronnie Wood's wedding yesterday, she wasn't there to congratulate the bride on a gold digging job well done. Ronnie's bride will get her gold digger certificate of excellence from Heather Mills in the mail.
65-year-old Ronnie Wood became somebody's husband for the third time yesterday when he married his 34-year-old theater producer girlfriend Sally Humphreys at the Dorchester Hotel in London. Ronnie's best man was Rod Stewart, who looked like he was trying hard to hold the barfs in while walking through a wind tunnel, and Paul McCartney was also there. Ronnie's bandmates Mick Jagger and Keith Richards weren't there, because I'm sure they went to one of his other weddings and when you've been to one Ronnie Wood wedding, you've been to them all. Besides, even though some of them are sober (I think), when they get together in the same room, scared bitches start stocking up on booze thinking a shortage is coming.
When Ronnie left his reception last night, he said this to The Sun's reporter:
"I'm feeling great. It was excellent, so great. Brilliant.”
I know, you just had to read those words. They are really important.
You're probably thinking that Ronnie's latest marriage is going to last about as long as a sex fart, but I have a feeling it's going to last a little bit longer than that. Sally sort of looks Snow White-ish and Ronnie looks like a Magic Troll doll who chopped off all his hair, moved to the enchanted forest and became the leader of the woodland creatures. Snow White loves creatures of the enchanted forest, so they're perfect for each other!
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Wow. Even I wouldn't sleep with Ronnie Woods and I'm the biggest gold digger cheerleader on the planet. Enjoy that money girlfriend (I guess).
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
I would like to see a rock star marry someone close to their age. At least this time around, Paul's piece could sign up for AARP. Come on, Ronnie, that's like a 35 year difference. And you don't think she's a gold digger? Gross.
Wow. Ronnie couldn't even put the ciggies down.
Whatever their connection, no question she's not into kissing him. I've kissed relatives with more passion (you know what I mean).
Compare their hands. Yikes!
If they're really BFFs, God love 'em. Anymore, a true BFF is AWESOME! Trumps half-assed romantic "relationships" any day.
I love her wedding dress. Nice to see they still make a few with sleeves, She's cute in a wholesome girl-next-door kind of way.
@ Stan Hooper: Rod Stewart has always had that mole, it's visible in pictures as far back as his days with The Faces.
http://www.nme.com/news/rod-stewart/66824
http://tarkus-magicmac.blogspot.com/2012/04/cool-rod-stewart.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Rod_Stewart_Greatest_Hits_vol_1.jpg
This pic doesn't feature the mole but holy shit on rice what the hell kind of GD outfit is that?
http://technorati.com/entertainment/celebrity/article/rod-stewart-memoir...
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"
Ronnie Wood has a face like a jackdaw's skull.
I hope he makes her EARN her money she is camping out for. LOL
gimme shelter
"Just look at all the fucks I give!"
"Faith means not wanting to know what is true." — Friedrich Nietzsche
"Is your name Michael Diamond?" "Naw, mine's Clarence..."
The job will give her a good excuse to get out of the house on a daily basis and/ for a "business" trip.
At least the other girl (Ana) seemed to be into him.
I so totally believe this girl loves Ron even if he was dirt poor. His bank accounts have nothing to do with her love for him. Nope. Nada!
yeah, her smile.
it's like she's rosie saying ...
"WHATTTT? so i lost 60 lbs and nailed me this old lesbian ... WHATTTT do you people want from me already????
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
Submitted by Meatblocks: "she looks like rosie odonnell."
That teeth-baring smile. It looks vaguely menacing.
Ronnie has good taste when it comes to the looks dept. One of last girlfriends, Ana Araujo was gorgeous.
The bride reminds me of Katy Perry.
http://m.zimbio.com/Ana+Araujo/articles/4453004/Ana+Paula+Ara+jo
Submitted by A__________Z on Sat, 12/22/2012 - 11:20pm.
She was a "head girl"? WTF??? 34 is too young to be sucking on old man peen. I couldn't suck a 65yo peen now at 20 years older. Groooossssssssss!!!!!!!
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Mean's a Prefect in English and Commonwealth Schools.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Head_girl_and_head_boy
Head girl and head boy are roles of prominent pupillary responsibility. The terms are commonly used in the British education system, and in private schools throughout the Commonwealth.
"She looks like Rosie O'Donnell."
That's way harsh, Tai, er, Meatblocks.
I think she looks like Maggie Siff. http://maggie-siff.net/
"I LOVE her gown and her other dress-very classy" Yeah, her taste in men may be suspect, but her taste in clothes is on point.
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
I LOVE her gown and her other dress-very classy
Life doesn't just end when you get older...GO RONNIE...she looks like a keeper!
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she looks like rosie odonnell.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
Katy Perry, I know things have been rough since divorcing Russell Brand but for goodness sake, that's no reason to marry your grandpa
Also, gross. 8-P
put me down for 1 yr before she kicks his druggie wheelchair ass outta the house.
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Submitted by Chris Knight on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 8:17am.
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He has had a few more after that:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2003459/Ronnie-Woods-girl-l...
and
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2049780/Ronnie-Wood-rolls-A...
Mazel tov. Lovely lady, lovely dress.
" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
i think that keith is loyal to jo wood and ronnie did her so wrong. met her once at stones show, patti and her were on tour, also met her kid. they were nice
Her dress is pretty. Otherwise, I got nothin'.
Happy Festivus, horz!
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No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart.
Jeebus! I hope she fixes him a sammich!
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
I'm surprised how much I like her dress. Demure without being dowdy. Beautiful.
Otherwise, uh, best of luck to them?
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
The dress is really lovely and at least she does something with her life? Most golddiggers never seem to do much except try to snare a rich man.
Hope, for her sake, she invited some of her own friends to the reception because old, wrinkly rockers does not a party make.
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"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
honestly? ronnie wood looks like her mother, all retired and florida-bound like.
look at him totin' that pack of smokes like he was 14 and at an impromptu party in the woods b/c a buddy found 3 beers.
oh poor rod stewart, stick a fork in him and call beyonce's wigstress, that old bastard is baked and burnt.
people just do not age gracefully.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
I would love to see a rock star marry someone fat. That would be news-worthy.
ah ah, love the pack of cigarettes in his hand!
I like the dress
TO SAY ITS CREEPY IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT.... AT LEAST SHES OLDER THAN HIS LAST EX, A RUSSIAN WOMAN, BARELY OUT OF HER TEENS, EKATERINA IVANOVA....
COME ON, COME ON, MARRY FOR THE MONEY, COME ON, COME ON, LISTEN TO WHAT MONEY TALKS.... RON COULD EASILY PLAY A FEMALE WITCH WITH THAT FACE....
Submitted by marikins on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 7:05am.
Tot agree with Dementa - you can tell a lot from the bride's gown and this is subdued and beyond cool. This ain 't no gold diggah.
Oy vey.
Tot agree with Dementa - you can tell a lot from the bride's gown and this is subdued and beyond cool. This ain 't no gold diggah. Also I am 100 percent certain the wedding was tasteful and there was no choco fountain or Gangman style dance down the aisle. Youngins take a page from your elders.
Wow, she's in her mid-thirties, wears a demure non-sexy wedding dress AND has her own musical job? Maybe he's finally gotten over his midlife crisis and is marrying someone decent.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 1:47am.
Well, Keef's only been married the once, right? He should get some sort of medal for that.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Love the dress.
Is that you, Kate Winslet?
"This world is a whore."
Submitted by Whamo on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 2:27am.
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Say what? lol You like spanking? Ok, assume the position please. hahaha Of course this will last! :p
Yeah, and they get along fine but I don't think she realized she'd have parents and a spouse all the same age and facing these issues at this point.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 1:47am.
Submitted by Whamo on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 1:31am.
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Hits Whamo!! :) Maybe they are skeptical about I
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What you don't think it will last! Lol
Yes I can see age differences becoming a factor in their later years for sure, I guess it's not as apparent at first. 50 with a 30 year old wife is one thing but when she's 50 and you're 70 that difference is much bigger I would think.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 12:25am.
He was her "something old" right?
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Hahahahaha! Oh, that's a good one. Haha.
My Lord! Why did i click that pic of Rod's! Ewww what sore or water blister does he have next to his mouth!!
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Submitted by Whamo on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 1:31am.
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Hiya Whamo!! :) Maybe they are skeptical about it lasting. They should talk, right? A family friend married someone twice her age and her advice now is that she'd not do it again. In their case it got a lot harder as he got older. Then again, I've heard of many others who made it work and were fine. But I agree, one would think they were close friends and would go if they were invited.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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@Whamo:
We all think that Ronnie Woods is nuts, so why should the rest of the Stones be different? And I'd rather not hold my face into the cam at a wedding which will end in desaster. Also, they might be friends with his ex.
@ Lisbet
@ Weezy
@ Reason
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I could see after 35 years while they might or might not hate one another as Weezy said you'd think just for appearance sake they'd make some sort of public acknowledgement if only so people don't ask the embarrassing question 'where are they"?
Agree with everyone who has said Sally's taste in clothes is exquisite.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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The photo of them kissing is the most passion-less, unsexy thing I've seen in a while, lips all pursed and smooshed every which-way except toward each other...
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"
rod stewart is a major sex addict
The only striking beautiful thing in the photo is this lovely dress.