Ronnie Wood Is Trying The Marriage Thing Again For A Third Time
Paul McCartney always keeps bodyguards armed with bags of termites near him just in case Heather Mills shows up to attack his ass and since he was a guest at Ronnie Wood's wedding yesterday, she wasn't there to congratulate the bride on a gold digging job well done. Ronnie's bride will get her gold digger certificate of excellence from Heather Mills in the mail.
65-year-old Ronnie Wood became somebody's husband for the third time yesterday when he married his 34-year-old theater producer girlfriend Sally Humphreys at the Dorchester Hotel in London. Ronnie's best man was Rod Stewart, who looked like he was trying hard to hold the barfs in while walking through a wind tunnel, and Paul McCartney was also there. Ronnie's bandmates Mick Jagger and Keith Richards weren't there, because I'm sure they went to one of his other weddings and when you've been to one Ronnie Wood wedding, you've been to them all. Besides, even though some of them are sober (I think), when they get together in the same room, scared bitches start stocking up on booze thinking a shortage is coming.
When Ronnie left his reception last night, he said this to The Sun's reporter:
"I'm feeling great. It was excellent, so great. Brilliant.”
I know, you just had to read those words. They are really important.
You're probably thinking that Ronnie's latest marriage is going to last about as long as a sex fart, but I have a feeling it's going to last a little bit longer than that. Sally sort of looks Snow White-ish and Ronnie looks like a Magic Troll doll who chopped off all his hair, moved to the enchanted forest and became the leader of the woodland creatures. Snow White loves creatures of the enchanted forest, so they're perfect for each other!
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He should have married LiLo. She's always hanging on to a pack of cigs too. LOL
Go Verb Yourself!
What a tasteful, exquisite dress. She looks like a class act. Maybe at his advanced age he has finally matured enough to appreciate a well-rounded (in the other sense) woman and not a trashy bimbo.
He was her "something old" right?
I don't know why, but I have no shade to throw on Ronnie and his new missus. Plus, her taste in clothes (and shoes) is pretty sweet. I want that outfit. Aww, and according to The Sun that beautiful wedding dress was her mom's.
On the other hand, Paul McCartney's wife has the ugliest legs and feet I've ever seen. Witch legs.
I am loving her dress.
But holy fuck he looks like the uglier version of Rod Stewart's twin.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Sat, 12/22/2012 - 11:24pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Sat, 12/22/2012 - 11:11pm.
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Yeah, it'd be unfair to the bride if they were begrudging his marriage. Maybe Mick and Keith figured they'd made a big deal already. I'm sure they sent their congrats (or at least their assistants did). ;/
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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It's the HOMOSEXUALS fault!
Submitted by crazyinjapan on Sat, 12/22/2012 - 11:58pm
I live close to a large senior community.
There's an expression the old ladies have:
he's looking for "a nurse with a purse"
This guy is just looking for a young nurse.
Good Luck with that lady.
The words "there's no fool like an old fool" come to mind.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
I love the pendant she's wearing.
I didn't know you could look 18-21 years old if you stand next to a mummy.
Congrats and good luck to them. Maybe third time's the charm. She holds a bouquet, he holds his cigs, LOL
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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It's touching to see the rich old codgers still giving marriage a whirl.
Submitted by Whamo on Sat, 12/22/2012 - 11:11pm.
I'm surprised and a little saddened to hear neither Mick nor Keith went. How the heck do you NOT go to the wedding of a 35 year bandmate, you can't say "hey we're working that day" and if they DID say that well I guess you have bigger issues to contend with.
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I'm not all that surprised. I think that most bandmates probably end up hating each other, especially after 35 years. You can't spend that much time with someone, full stop. And that's if they start out as friends. If it's a business arrangement, then it's probably much worse.
The front man in Oasis once gave an interview, where he said as much. Cheryl Cole said that, after touring and recording with Girls Aloud, she couldn't even look at her bandmates. IIRC, Bloc Party ended up having to take a hiatus because spending all that time together became hell.
My mom is Ronnie's age and looks decades younger than Ronnie. Years have been rough on Ronnie.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
This is a weak economy so GET THAT MONEY GIRL! It's better than cleaning poopy butts at a nursing home or making minimum wage working retail.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
Submitted by Whamo on Sat, 12/22/2012 - 11:11pm.
I'm surprised and a little saddened to hear neither Mick nor Keith went.
You would think they would have at least shown up for appearances sake.
Submitted by lastdiva on Sat, 12/22/2012 - 11:12pm.
LOL. (I'm not sure they started the trend.) While it's dated, I still like musicians who can sing and play their songs live, without special FX to speak of.
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“Just then, already tipsy, I thought I’d never seen a man more beautiful. I forgave him his tailored pirate’s shirt. Love doesn’t grow at a steady rate, but advances in surges, bolts, wild leaps….”
She was a "head girl"? WTF??? 34 is too young to be sucking on old man peen. I couldn't suck a 65yo peen now at 20 years older. Groooossssssssss!!!!!!!
With the age difference, I thought I'd see someone yelling "pedo!"
Thank to Randé Sleepover, I have now seen the original Grandpas of Cock-Rock ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtqF0qBqzZo
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"
I'm surprised and a little saddened to hear neither Mick nor Keith went. How the heck do you NOT go to the wedding of a 35 year bandmate, you can't say "hey we're working that day" and if they DID say that well I guess you have bigger issues to contend with.
Oh look. Really old, gross-looking English men with their gold digging tricks. I see Wood and Stewart still have the same hairstyles they were sporting in the 70s.
*golf clap*
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This made me feel better - From "The Mail":
...Certainly Sally is credited by those close to him with helping Wood — who quit drugs and drink 2 years ago — stay clean.
Sally has known Wood, who is also a successful painter, for the best part of a decade after helping him put on an exhibition of his work in Drury Lane. And she produced two of his solo stage shows through her company Sally Humphreys Productions Limited.
By any estimation, the third Mrs Wood is very different to the type he has gone for in the recent past. She is the daughter of music teachers — her father Colin, 66, played the cello in the City of Birmingham Symphony Orchestra, while her mother Alison, 63, played the flute.
Sally was headgirl at the city’s King Edward VI Handsworth School, a grammar school for high achievers, before studying drama at university.
For several years she has run her own theatrical production company, with offices above the Ambassadors Theatre, in London’s West End.
Sally, who makes much of her taste for homely hobbies such as knitting and baking on her personal Twitter page, is also wont to tell friends she turns down Wood's offer of a limo to take her to work, preferring to walk the 3 miles from Ronnie’s townhouse in Holland Park — where she has been a permanent fixture since May — to her office.
Ronnie’s friends see her as a breath of fresh air, after despairing at the stream of arm candy he dated after his divorce from Jo, to whom he gave a reported £6.8 million pay-off..."
They don't look like they have chemistry. But, whatever.
He looks like he's knocking on death's door from all that blow.
His gorgeous wife will be inheriting a fortune very soon.
On a rather unrelated matter (nah, not really): I'm currently flipping through the DM and I really have the feeling that there's no real relationship in showbiz anymore. Taylor Swift and the whatnot from a whatsitsname band (she allegedly bought a house next to him again, but I just read the headline, so I don't know if it's in fact miles away), Kim Kartrashian and fishdicks.. and good old Riri with her daily article on the DM - I really wonder who pays whom in this..
The box of Marlboro Lights he's holding gives the pics that extra bit of class.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
How sweet! She married her grandpa!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Well good for her to be able to look at that old wrinkly ass every morning.
This union has renewed my faith in love and the sanctity of marriage. The true spirit of DOMA lives on through these two shining heterosexual souls showing the whole world what a real marriage is! Praise the Lord!
Bloody hell, Ronnie! Cheers, man!
BTW, she looks entirely too old for him.
annobanano-whoa! that adam's apple is huge!!!
annobanano -- I do think I see an Adam's apple, too!
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"LEAVE THE COUNTRY BEARS ALLLLLOOONEEEE!!!!"
-- christine the hoff
I'm such a dyslexic sometimes. I had to read that title 3 times before I got it right. I thought it said "Ronnie is trying to marry this thing again."
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
This looks like fun, and to me all these old guys look great.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Sat, 12/22/2012 - 10:12pm.
I think Paul McCartney's wife was born a man, judging by her mannish face, thick neck & huge feet.
And do I spy an adam's apple?
Security guy on the right side of thumb 6 is throwing excellent, "Bitch, please" face.
Wood and Stewart in less wrinkly days:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtqF0qBqzZo
So at what point do these gold diggin' hoes say to their sugar daddy "I want to get a shitload of plastic surgery with your money." Because you know that's at least half the reason they marry these rich old guys. And then outside of that, they probably like the 5-Star vacations, clothes, cars, phat houses, etc.
Termites.....I'm dying!
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
I think Paul McCartney's wife was born a man, judging by her mannish face, thick neck & huge feet.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"LEAVE THE COUNTRY BEARS ALLLLLOOONEEEE!!!!"
-- christine the hoff
Well, at least it isn't that 19-year-old he left his ex-wife for.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Looks like her dad
She looks like his daughter. End well- this will not!
I Posted before I saw this! Thought same thing
This has "Weekend at Bernie's" written all over it.
Love the pack of smokes in his hand, suuuuper classy.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
God Bless Ronnie and Rod. Between them, they're rocked that same hairdo for over 70 years!!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Tell me Ronnie isn't holding a pack of Marb lights.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson