Two. Dollars.
Much like the newspaper boy from Better Off Dead, Demi wants her $2.00. FOUR WEEKS, TWENTY PAPERS, THAT'S TWO DOLLARS, PLUS TIP. Even though her ass is by far richer and more plasticized than Ashton Kutcher, the hold up in Dummy Demi Moore filing for divorce according to TMZ is her need for some of Ashton's cash. Okay, in our Ramen Noodle, store brand bread and Pabst Blue Ribbon worlds, Ashton is fabulously wealthy (yes, I just typed Ashton and fabulous in the same sentence, and yes, you should slap the shit out of me for that) but when you look at Demi's net worth, you see that #getmoneybitch doesn't really apply here. It's like Donald Trump rolling the valet for his $75 in tips for the day. Bitter much?
Sources say that they can't agree on the settlement, and she wants a fat one (don't we all?) like the one she got when she divorced Bruce Willis. Even though she is loaded in more ways than one, she's not just going to cut her losses and walk away like that!! In Ashton's dreams. While he has Mila Kunis on the one side screaming "Get rid of that funky chicken dancing bitch or no more pussy popping for YOU!" he has Demi on the other side screaming...well, some unintelligible shit because she's wasted on whippits and Red Bull. But the point of her screams is supposed to be DIDN'T ASK FOR A DIME....TWO! DOLLARS!!
It will be another six months until the divorce can be finalized, so we should be plenty sick of laughing at Demi's toddler rompers and dance NOs that make Lenny Kravitz and the rest of us cringe by then. GIRL, or more to the point, WOMAN who hasn't seen "girl" since the late 80's, please. Collect the shards of your dignity, quit acting like a spoiled little bitch, and find someone at least a little handsome to try to make Ashton jealous. NO. Seriously, I'm tired of being secondarily embarrassed for you Demi. Just act like a normal jaded slut, slash his tires, and MOVE. THE. FUCK. ON.
splash, wireimage
• 
Asston is an unethical slutty asshole who tries to pimp his companies without divulging he's an investor. He's using TMZ to try to trash her after he was too much of a coward to break it off with her. He had them say he was officially divorcing her to preserve her dignity. Pfft. What a load of bs. He could have filed WItHOUT announcing it on a loud speaker. Dick! She's a famewhore just like him and he knows it. He never would have become as famous without being linked to her. Pay up ASShole.
((Mani)) ♪♫...And I want..and I need...Manimal...♪♫
Love you long time! Droppin off some olden day Merry XXLMas for you, Mister ♥ XX's and HO's!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRaUXbVM29I
O/T: It was all fun and games till she busted this move and the moth balls fell out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'd like to flay you with my rapier wit but I'm afraid it's about as dull as fucking your mother.
Got the 2 dollars reference.
Is is just me, or does Lenny Kravitz look like he's leaning away from grandma as she's doing her stupid dumbass dance in the banner pic? Like he's trying to get as far away from her in the space he's given?
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Lenny is totally leaning. 2 dolla ho comes to mind!!!!!!
Lenny is totally leaning. 2 dolla ho comes to mind!!!!!!
Cripes peeps, the Two Dollars reference:
In Better Off Dead, there's this paperboy who doesn't get paid for his papers. He keeps stalking the guy who owes him, everywhere on his bike. He shows up randomly everywhere in the movie, just out of nowhere on his bike, saying "two dollars, I want my two dollars." He won't give up stalking this guy even though it's a stupid amount of money, almost nothing. One of the places he shows up is on a ski slope, if I remember correctly - on his bike.
I think the point/joke was, Demi is a nutter stalker, chasing after Asston for some stupid amount of money when she doesn't really need it, popping up in these stupid places like a needy weirdo.
Thanks for the assist
Hall of fame photo right there. Though it can't beat drunk girl falling into hotel potted plant photo.
.............................
End of assist.
Submitted by little_rascal on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 12:04pm.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
Merry Christmas, Dlisted peeps!
Merry Christmas to you LR!
Also to the many posters who I've read over the years here on dlisted that no longer post here or very rarely. I'm not going to name names but you know who you are! *stares at NitWitty*
And to all those posters who are just lurking and not posting maybe because they feel their comment is not good enough...this is DLISTED for G-ds sake! LOve to all!
............................................
Submitted by IrishFury on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 10:45am.
All Migraineuse has to do is succumb to Whamo and let him ravage her just like she wants and her rage will end.
Cant you two see you're in love?
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Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 8:13am.
I'm sorry some guy fucked you over BIGTIME but believe it or not there some good ones of us out there.
---------------------------------------------
Don't know why it took me so long to see this but you're right on the money, IF. Ole Whammer might need to work on his sweet talkin' game a bit but he gets to the point on his last line.
Then again, maybe he's got Grainy pegged and she's the type who likes a good fight before doing the nasty. Whatever the case they need to fess up to each other and proceed with the gettin' busy.
And be sure to tape it for the rest of us to view. ;P
**************
HTTR
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 12:08pm.
Submitted by MinxInSpace on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 5:12am.
I don't know why most people are hung up on the age diff. It's almost like people think Demi brought all this on herself for daring to marry a dude 20 years her junior. She was married to two other dudes around her age and it didn't work out. That just means she likely sucks at being married.
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I guess for me, the odds are stacked against her that marrying a man 20 years younger than you would work out. I mean, she's in her 40s and trying like hell to not look like it. But eventually 40 becomes 60 and suddenly that age difference is way, way more pronounced. It's just a matter of time before your 40 year old hubby starts looking for his own 20 year younger mate.
And as the other person said, there is the whiff of desperation. She's no Helen Mirren gracefully aging. In my view, she seems like a woman who is dating younger because she can't accept the fact she no longer is in her 20s.
Submitted by MinxInSpace on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 5:12am.
I don't know why most people are hung up on the age diff. It's almost like people think Demi brought all this on herself for daring to marry a dude 20 years her junior. She was married to two other dudes around her age and it didn't work out. That just means she likely sucks at being married.
_______________________________________________
I don't think it's so much the age difference as the whiff of desperation she gives off. There are plenty of couples with a big age gap who own their shit, and don't care what anyone else thinks of them. Demi always looked clingy as hell, acting like a teenager on Twitter trying to convince the world that her and Asston were for reals. Confident couples don't need to do that.
Now THIS is an age difference, done right:
http://itsybitsysteps.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/sam-taylor-wood-aar...
She's 45, he's 22. get it girl!
this too:
http://www.bellenews.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Celine-Dion-and-her-...
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Where is this woman's fucking pride? It's bad enough she marrid a total douche, but why look like a money grubbing pig as well?
And I agree with the one who posted Kiebler is average. Great body but her face isn't anything to write home about.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
Merry Christmas, Dlisted peeps!
+++++++++++++++++++
Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
All females belong to the sex class; they are subhuman buckets for male incontinence.
Stacy Kiebler looks so normal, as in average, in that pic.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
Submitted by tomahawk
The bigger question would be: Why am I the only woman who has got every album this guy ever made,
***
Because you have no taste in music, and the boys in marketing convince you what is "cool" and decide what you buy and listen to, so you don't have to actually think for yourself.
Submitted by Kukai-manini
Revenge isn't a game...it is a soul killer. Her best revenge would be to forgive him.
****
Mongol General: Wrong! Conan! What is best in life?
Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.
Mongol General: That is good! That is good.
Submitted by GingerSoul on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 11:10am.
You've heard of a Dutch Oven? This is photographic proof of the instant Demi invented the Milf crock pot.
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olloolollololo
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
To end the dramz, living well IS the BEST revenge. There are no words to describe the looks on his new piece's parents' faces when you walk in to pick up your children. (Or maybe I'm just relishing old memories.)
Now, on to more important shit! Like, here I am with all my not-giving-a-single-solitary-fuck about Christmas (except for Toddles, who will have a glorious one) and SOMEHOW I'm the one who's cooking the Christmas dinner!!!!!!!!!!! (Someone help a mother out, because I don't even know how that happened. And I could give two shits if these people eat a decent meal.)
Just act like a normal jaded slut, slash his tires, and MOVE. THE. FUCK. ON. MK, 12/23/12 (SEE? We're NOT all dead! Guess it's just us sinners and sluts!)
Lenny is flashing what is normally called the "F.U." finger. In this pic, it's more like the "F.M.L." finger.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
The bigger question would be: Why am I the only woman who has got every album this guy ever made, although I don't find him remotely sexy.
I wanted to put a festive pic of his peen in here, so all could stop fighting, but I guess you have to search the net yourselves - too many "are you sure you want to see this, click here"- warning signs and whatnot.
And btw: I don't think he gives a shit about not being relevant anymore.
You've heard of a Dutch Oven? This is photographic proof of the instant Demi invented the Milf crock pot. It takes a bit more energy to disperse the noxious fumes, but still just as effective.
Kutcher remains a massive pudenda.
Still on Gimme and Asston? *yawn*
She has no idea how pathetic this latest bid for attention makes her look. Going after HIM for his money? Really?
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I beg someone, anyone, to change that banner picture of this chicken-woman trying pathetically to be the "cool girl."
It's Christmas Eve for ffs, let's get a cute kitteh or doggeh up in here!!
Submitted by Migraineuse on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 1:39am.
getting old is not a crime and fifty year old women should be able to hump on anybody they want
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Ewwww no! Old ladies like Demi need to be put in a home where they can't do any more damage!
Submitted by CashewTime. on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 2:22am.
I think Lenny tries as hard as Demi does.
LOL!! Maybe the difference is the air of desperation? He seems like if the paps didn't pay him any attention, he wouldn't care. Demi seems like if the paps didn't pay any attention, she'd start either taking off clothes or cutting.
Submitted by bambam on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 2:52am.
The picture above tells it all. Kravitz probably asked her if anybody told her she's a good dancer, Demi thought he was complimenting her, thanked him and said her shit ass husband suggested she take some lessons.
When Kravitz agreed with Ashton, Demi probably lost it and decided to drain Kutcher of everything he's got.
Yes, that's totally what happened. Definitely.
All Migraineuse has to do is succumb to Whamo and let him ravage her just like she wants and her rage will end.
Cant you two see you're in love? ________________________________
Dark-sided!
Famous people. They're just like us, except way more insecure, pathetic and dysfunctional.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
The news said they were never legally married. So how can they get divorced? If it's a common law marriage, doesnt she sue him in civil court?
I'd do the same. He hurt her by flaunting his new piece who is more successful and much younger version of Demi, before getting divorced. Send his papers just before Christmas which seemed malicious to me. So she should feel free to hurt him and get richer while doing it. See nothing wrong here. He is getting paid insane amounts for that shit show he's doing and if he was not married to Demi, she could argue he'd be less relevant and wouldn't be able to get that job so she's entitled I'd say.
I do care about the age difference but only as all evidence points to Ashton being 12. 13 tops.
I don't give a fuck about their age difference, but whosoever marries Asston Kutcher is a fucking imbecile.
...and at her age she should have known better, haha!
Submitted by Migraineuse on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 1:39am.
Happy Christmas Eve, skanks.
Contrary to what seems to be popular belief in this culture, getting old is not a crime and fifty year old women should be able to hump on anybody they want, as long as they're both consenting adults, and not be shamed for it. Fifty year old dudes fuck women half their age and nobody bats a fucking eyelash, so what's with the hypocrisy?
As for the money, Kutcher fucked up this marriage, so let his dumb ass pay the price.
___________________________________________________
Once again you're full of shit. Fifty year old dudes get laughed at and goofed on just as much as any woman. People ALWAYS laugh at the guys banging the young ones saying things like "everyone know she's only with him for the money" and "does he think she really loves him for him" or "the guy looks pathetic with such a young girl...buy a sports car it will cost you less" and of course "he deserves it when she leaves him and takes him to the cleaners" I'm surprised you didn't throw in your ubiquitous RAPE CULTURE bullshit line.
And how do you know Ashton "fucked up his marriage"? From what I see Demi is the fucking crazy one and it seems Ashton stayed in there way longer that he should have. He probably put up with loads of Demi's crazy and perhaps tried his ass off trying to keep her happy until he threw up his arms and said fuck this.
But of course you are incapable of doing ANYTHING but pointing at men and blaming them for every single fucking thing that is wrong in this world. I have NEVER heard you EVER say anything but hate.
You never laugh at anything you simply comment every time on how much you hate and how horrible men are. I'm sorry some guy fucked you over BIGTIME but believe it or not there some good ones of us out there.
Yes Whamo, what you said. Exactly
I don't know why most people are hung up on the age diff. It's almost like people think Demi brought all this on herself for daring to marry a dude 20 years her junior. She was married to two other dudes around her age and it didn't work out. That just means she likely sucks at being married.
With the first ugly dude she married, she was obsessed with becoming famous - it didn't work out. With Bruce, she was obsessed with staying famous and staying super hot - it didn't work out. With Ashton, she was obsessed with staying relevant, famous and young - it didn't work out. See a trend? It doesn't matter who she's with, she's still obsessed with herself which is why her marriages fail.
Revenge isn't a game...it is a soul killer. Her best revenge would be to forgive him.
Submitted by CodeRed on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 2:51am.
Submitted by Glambert on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 2:38am.
Submitted by CodeRed on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 2:25am.
but is revenge truly sweet? Or breaking you into meltdowns you could do without.
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Demi is batshit cray cray...
But the meltdowns where going to happen REGARDLESS!
The penny snatching game is simply her ONLY way at REVENGE!(and I can't blame her for playing that game for revenge)
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you don't blame her digging to new lowers, instead of seeing a shrink.
Best revenge is your happiness. Yeah, he's happy *stab* but I'm not, because I put all my middle aged faith into a guy half my age. I gave him the power over me, and gave it to him right up to the end. I was utterly blameless in my part. Now he'll pay for it. for being an asshole, for cheating on me over on my life.
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I said I can't blame Demi for doing revenge.
I think Demi is a "victim" who will always be a "victim"(and never right herself) but that doesn't mean that Ashton is not a fucking fake ass whore who deserves all the bashing he gets!
The picture above tells it all. Kravitz probably asked her if anybody told her she's a good dancer, Demi thought he was complimenting her, thanked him and said her shit ass husband suggested she take some lessons.
When Kravitz agreed with Ashton, Demi probably lost it and decided to drain Kutcher of everything he's got.
**************
HTTR
Submitted by Glambert on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 2:38am.
Submitted by CodeRed on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 2:25am.
but is revenge truly sweet? Or breaking you into meltdowns you could do without.
-----------------------------------------------
Demi is batshit cray cray...
But the meltdowns where going to happen REGARDLESS!
The penny snatching game is simply her ONLY way at REVENGE!(and I can't blame her for playing that game for revenge)
***********************************************
you don't blame her digging to new lowers, instead of seeing a shrink.
Best revenge is your happiness. Yeah, he's happy *stab* but I'm not, because I put all my middle aged faith into a guy half my age. I gave him the power over me, and gave it to him right up to the end. I was utterly blameless in my part. Now he'll pay for it. for being an asshole, for cheating on me over on my life.
Submitted by CodeRed on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 2:25am.
but is revenge truly sweet? Or breaking you into meltdowns you could do without.
-----------------------------------------------
Demi is batshit cray cray...
But the meltdowns where going to happen REGARDLESS!
The penny snatching game is simply her ONLY way at REVENGE!(and I can't blame her for playing that game for revenge)
Submitted by christine the hoff on Sun, 12/23/2012 - 8:57pm.
What I don't get is how she can be surprised that this ended badly,
^^^^
IKR?? This! It's what I always think when I see the geezer sugar daddys down in here in Southern California with the young trophy wife/gf. I kind of feel bad for Demi (noIdon't) because she is such a public ass. I love Sweetas saying "secondarily embarrassed," me too. I keep cringing with every new Demi story. Ugh, she gives women a bad rep. But then, Arnold Schwarzenegger gives men a bad rep, so... Almost all celebrities are vapid shallow famewhores. Speaking of which, I almost vomited when I was Christmas shopping the other day and saw PMK's picture on a box. I picked it up to snark and it was nail polish: Kardashian Kolors, get Kris's look! get Kim's look! Aaiiieee...
ubmitted by Glambert on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 2:20am.
Submitted by CodeRed on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 2:09am.
she"s a scorned woman, and you don't fuck with one of those. she'll go after your last dime if it's the last thing she'll do. And clearly she seems like the needy, petty kind.
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OF COURSE SHE IS SCORNED!!! Look at what he did to her! IT IS petty but it's the only fucking way she can actually get back at him and I don't blame her one bit for doing so!
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I get that, the anger, the hatred, the agony, lies etc.
but is revenge truly sweet? Or breaking you into meltdowns you could do without.
He wasn't right, but she had a whole year and month to think about it. She held on cuz she thought he'd come back to her and things weren't ''officially over.'' she got served what was coming, and what she should have initiated first, if it were so much about the money.
I think Lenny tries as hard as Demi does. This is a dude who at 40 something walks around with a rotary phone in front of posarrassi for attention:
http://realcountry1230.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Lenny-Kravitz-Cell...
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"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes
Submitted by Migraineuse on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 1:39am.
Happy Christmas Eve, skanks.
Contrary to what seems to be popular belief in this culture, getting old is not a crime and fifty year old women should be able to hump on anybody they want, as long as they're both consenting adults, and not be shamed for it. Fifty year old dudes fuck women half their age and nobody bats a fucking eyelash, so what's with the hypocrisy?
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Merry x-mas.
I don't know about letting that dumbass pay when it took 13 months for either side to put the wheels into motion, with her given the opportunity to initiate.
ETA: if it were about $$$ it wouldn't wait.
Submitted by CodeRed on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 2:09am.
she"s a scorned woman, and you don't fuck with one of those. she'll go after your last dime if it's the last thing she'll do. And clearly she seems like the needy, petty kind.
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OF COURSE SHE IS SCORNED!!! Look at what he did to her! IT IS petty but it's the only fucking way she can actually get back at him and I don't blame her one bit for doing so!
Ok, the demi compared to semi and half, was my mind wandering off, but notice, all are even multiples! I guess you need to click on the link to get the reference.
Submitted by Migraineuse on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 1:39am.
Agreed
_______________________________________________
"I don't think anything can separate anything that's super-connected. "
-LeAnn Rimes
she"s a scorned woman, and you don't fuck with one of those. she'll go after your last dime if it's the last thing she'll do. And clearly she seems like the needy, petty kind.