What Is Lindsay Lohan's Ass Crying About Today?
In "Lindsay Lohan Needs To Switch From Coke To The Good Shit So She Can Calm The Hell Down" news, Lindsay Lohan is farting all over the producers of Scary Movie 5 for lying and tricking her ass. Yes, LiLo tricks hos on a daily basis (cut to the IRS cursing her name after finding out that the $200,000 she sent them to pay for her overdue tax bill is actually counterfeit money printed at Kinko's) and everything that leaps off of her tongue is a certified lie, but if anybody tricks or lies to her there will be hell to pay. And yes by "hell to pay," I mean White Oprah is going to break into their house and swallow their medicine cabinet whole after selling their children to a "modeling agency" in Korea.
TMZ says that LiLo is mad at the producers, because in the script, she lets out a horrified scream at a TV showing a scene from Herbie: Fully Loaded. But in the trailer that came out on Friday, LiLo screams at a TV showing her sashaying into the court room after her probation is revoked. LiLo is all mad, because the producers never cleared that joke with her first and she thinks they're just getting back at her ass, because she trashed her trailer and broke the toilet by caca-ing out the coke balloons she forgot she shoved up her butt during a quickie trip to Mexico a few months before.
So basically, LiLo was about as pleasant as a urethra pimple and the producers got back at her by making a probation joke. You know, I wasn't planning on seeing Scary Movie 5, but now I am, because it's my way of slow clapping for the producers who screwed with her. If the California Justice System followed Scary Movie 5's lead and screwed with LiLo by throwing her in a jail cell full of "gypsies," 2013 would be the best year ever!
And if they wanted to make that shit extra scary, they'd cut every scene from the movie and just show LiLo screaming at a TV playing the GIF of LiLo screaming. Your nightmares will never be the same again.
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She's also suing her acting teacher for fraud: http://hollywoodandswine.com/lindsay-lohan-sues-acting-coach-for-fraud-a...
Andy Marx
This delusional idiot. All you ARE at this point is a goddamn joke, Linds. Best to just embrace it.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
How is Lindsay in a position to make any sort of demand?
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Shiitake happens...
Submitted by Trixster on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 12:51pm.
I predict a Lohan Christmas death this year.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 12/24/2012 - 1:05pm.
Trixster, we're not that lucky.
That's harsh!
*pause*
Hahahahahahaha
That face scary as hell. Lookin like a plastic crackhead
What's the fucking difference in laughing at her probation or her movie??? Either way she's laughing at herself. If this was such a drastic change, it was so this shitty flick would be "funnier" and make more $, not just to muck about with LieLow's delicate sensibilities.
Movies are changed all the time, sometimes entire characters are cut out and even those actors don't cry and whine. It's called EDITING.
Disney probably wouldn't sign a release for the clip.
The best work she's ever done is her "fuk u" manicure.
"This world is a whore."
Someone took a chance and put her cracked out ass in a (allbeit more than likely shitty)movie and paid her to be in it. How much crack is she currently snorting through that orangy bloated freckled up mess of a face of hers that she actually has the balls to bitch??? Take your check, buy some more crack, continue to mock the legal system and STFU! Fuck this cunt.
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
She's showing more range here than she did on Dick's Lez.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Just take your money and shut the hell up! It's a comedy or is supposed to be but any way LOL at the joke is on YOU!
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Wow. I have to believe this is publicity for a shitty film at this point. Because the alternative - that she's really surprised that she signed up for a Scary Movie and didn't realise that (1) it would mock her and (2) what the most obvious jokes would be - is too awful to contemplate.
Pffft. She should be thanking them for keeping her halfway relevent.
Trixster, we're not that lucky.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Lohan needs to quit acting like she has a reputation worth defending.
Eh, she's preparing a lawsuit. Look in your rear view mirror for her when backing out of the grocery store parking lot and if she's inside she's purposely spilling fluid on the floor.
Man, she fucked up her looks so bad!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
That gif shows La Lohan reacting to her career beating a hasty retreat and making a getaway.
GYPSY ISN'T A SLUR UNLESS IT'S PLUARLIZED
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Well, if that really bothers her, she could always stop getting arrested . . . nah, obeying the law is too much effort.
This girl is chock-full of brilliant career moves. She's lucky she even got the gig in the first place.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
That gif is awesome.
They used that because it's a hell of a lot funnier than a clip from Herbie Reloaded. Who even remembers the Lindsay from Herbie Reloaded?
I predict a Lohan Christmas death this year.