Open Post: Hosted By England's Finest Rose As Slutty Claus
You can't spell Santa without "t" and "a," so here's the true princess of Britain and the current reigning Miss CDC International 2012 Jodie Marsh sprinkling the finest crabs the Caribbean has ever seen while struttin' her muscly ass down the beach in Barbados over the holiday. If you're in England and have been wondering why the air feels less elegant and why it doesn't smell like roses marinating in the gutter, it's because Jodie is not there! Yes, STD rates in the UK dropped drastically, but the stars aren't sparkling extra now that Jodie is gone.
The angel of death tattoo that warns peens that they might never be heard from again if they enter has never ever looked so festive thanks to Jodie's poon-covering Santa hat thong. And Jodie's totally natural titty domes look like two toddlers with Elephantiasis of the head touching noses while wearing Santy hoods. That Michael Jackson tattoo wishes it can grow legs so it can moonwalk the fuck out of there, because it just can't handle Jodie's glamour and beauty.
And yes, this is the reason why Santa Claus is letting out a ho ho ho this holiday season.