Katy Perry Has Some Sort Of Skeeve Fetish
Santa Claus is not amused. That Tweet should have cancelled Christmas. Katy Perry brought John Mayer home for the holidays to meet her parents. That's no gift. I'd rather have rabies in my stocking. He looks like he has hasn't seen the inside of a shower for five days. She should swap out the whipped cream shooters in her tits for shower gel ones and hose his skank ass down!
The New York Daily News (via People) sez that Mayer really wanted to meet Katy's parents. No one wants to meet anyone's parents. That's some bullshiz. Especially this mealy-mouthed fuckface. Meeting your piece's parents for the first time is ponderous. You can't get drunk, you can't curse, you have to act like you don't hate everything. For a whole weekend? AND ON CHRISTMAS? Bitch, I am 5 White Russians in by 2 pm on Christmas and ready to leap over the coffee table at my brother during the Yankee Swap to fistfight for a TJ Maxx gift card. Hello, it's Christmas! No one wants insincere douche under the tree.
"They're happy together and with her family for the holidays," a source told the celebrity magazine. "John really likes getting to know Katy's family better. They've spent a lot of time together and really enjoy each other's company."
He's totally the guy who gets shitfaced on Christmas Eve night, stays up after Katy goes to bed, and hits on her Moms. "Mrs. Hudson, I can totally see where Katy got her looks. Yes, I'm very interested in the Bible. Is it ok if I take off my pants and get comfortable while we talk about Jesus? " Ugh, and he probably brought his guitar. I'd smash an ornament and cut my wrists with the shards.
And what's with her and the slippery-looking types? That last one. You could wring out his hair to fill the fryolater. Be kinder to yourself, Annoying Rainbow Brite.
• 
I knew you were Santa when you walked in..
He's disgusting . . . Ugh, that face he's making. Who does that? Oh wait, I know who: JLo! They should totally get together. It could be a sessy face extravaganza made in heaven.
Russell may be a hot mess, but at least he's very intelligent.
Sarah Smile
Here, at no one's request, the image of Dan Aykroyd as the disshevelled Santa eating the salmon hidden in his beard in "Trading Places" = still more appealling than John Mayer.
http://www.collider.com/wp-content/uploads/trading_places_movie_image_da...
I feel sorry for Perry's family. Can you imagine having your daughter come home for Christmas… with a giant skeezy whore who talks about his racist penis? That would curdle MY eggnog.
Even worse, I bet they have to pretend to like him, or Katy will just "rebel" by sticking to him even more, a la Rihanna.
Submitted by Hockey fan on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 9:57pm.
And he never will be, barring a near death experience that changes him completely.
I bet he does eventually get married in his fifties or sixties, to some low-self-esteem chickie who will just be grateful that a celebrity deigned to marry her. He'll keep fucking around while the wifie pops out a few kids and gives him a sheen of respectability.
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Spot on CashewTime - this Dlister woundn't touch this asswipe. One handshake with his sucio peen will expose me of HPV. No thanks!! Meyer is probably classified by the CDC!
=========
Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Why are "anonymous" "sources" always desperately trying to sell me a new couple like it's a used Kia? They're way too invested. It's creepy.
The comparison, below, to Dan Aykroyd in "Trading Places" was spot on, spot on.
Great post, J!
OMG, Perry is mental - as mental as her buddy RiRi. She's so proud of her little douchebag.
Next to him, Russell Brand seems like a prince.
Katy Perry and this douche nozzle are perfect for each other. Two overrated famewhores in the looks and talent department.
I hate that he's an upgrade from Russel Brand.. I see what you did there, John Mayer, making yourself an upgrade.
How soon til Katy "graduates" to a real man, like Vanilla Gorilla....
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 5:11pm.
Honestly, is Mayers that much of a skeeve? I never heard of him before he started dating fairly famous women, and his grossness seems to be a given.
*************
When he first started getting popular, maybe in 2001, my boss at the time ran into him at a show and told me that he propositioned her in a pretty gross way and I almost didn't believe it back then. I wish I remembered what he'd said exactly. He seemed/looked like such a choir boy back then so I was shocked. Then, lo and behold! Seems he was always a sleeze but more on the lowdown. I don't have any sympathy for anyone who takes up with him.
Submitted by liverwurst on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 11:10pm.
John Mayer is a HUGE dick.
^^^^^^^^^^
Fixed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by liverwurst on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 11:10pm.
John Mayer is a HUGE dick.
_______________________________________
Fixed that for ya.
*______________________________________*
Submitted by Darknight on Fri, 11/09/2012 - 4:27pm.
THE TRUTH. Making the world a better place.
John Mayer has a HUGE dick.
cue to TSwift crying glitter flavored tears to sleep.
I want to warn all the ladies out there who think about dating John Mayer:
There's a reason he hasn't been with a woman for a long relationship or marriage. Just ask Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Love Hewitt, or anyone else that he's ever dated. He's GROSS and clearly not mature enough for a real relationship.
Just...ewww...
Makes Katy with Russell look like Trooo Lurve. This just looks like the nasty guy you cheat with bc you're desperate after the break up.
Gross, Katy. PLEASE upgrade. With---well, ANYBODY.
Whenever someone talks about her loser taste in men I always say, "at least you're not Katy Perry." I can see why she and RiRi are friends.
He looks like such a perv in that pic. Just look at that "come hither" stare. He should be ashamed of himself.
I am so turned on right now.
Maybe she's keeping the herpes from spreading? Damn, this chick must really hate her parents.
Check out my thoughts on film and television www.amandalovesmovies.com
"It's my David Duke Dick in a Box!"
_______________________________________________
Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Her parents must be wondering where they went wrong. First Russell Brand now this; although, skankiness aside, I think he's a way better musician than Brand is à comedian
************
The Douchetard who Broke Christmas.
" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
id rather have rabies in my stocking!!!!!!!!!!!LOVE IT
I laughed my ass off through this entire post!
Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 6:17pm.
Oh J Harvey, you so crazy...
And John Mayer is so GROSS. Russell Brand I could understand, because he's skeevy but he had the vegan/spiritual/cat lover thing going on.
------------------
ITA that its not fair to put Brand in the category as Meyer.
Oh J Harvey, you so crazy...
And John Mayer is so GROSS. Russell Brand I could understand, because he's skeevy but he had the vegan/spiritual/cat lover thing going on. But John Mayer? She just likes to take stanky guys so she can feel like she made them over. It's a kind of vanity. Like, "I'm such a hot, wonderful and special woman that I turned a scumbag into Mr. Perfect." No Katy, he's still a scumbag! But I am impressed that he's behaving himself with Katy. Katy's mother does NOT want a scat party in her holy home.
You have to be fucking kidding me Katy-tits! Is there some sort of formal competition between this ho and Taylor S.? Or maybe she's competing with BFF Riri about who manages to go down on the trashiest cheesiest dick that they can find without barfing.
Submitted by Gigaboob on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 6:03pm.
He's fucking gross. He must have some mad hypnosis skills to get all these women.
=========================
He's a pseudo intellectual, they fall for his "deep" personality and "talent." The women he dates are not particularly well educated or bright.
J Harvey you crack me up
And john Mayer ughhhhhhhhhhhhh
He's fucking gross. He must have some mad hypnosis skills to get all these women.
She was raised by a couple of hardcore christian nutters... of course she has a skeeve fetish. The problem is that she no longer qualifies for the rebellious teenager, when this shit is actually expected.
What abut 'fidgets?
He looks like she found him in the back alley dumpster of a cheap ass bar passed out face down in a pool of his own vomit and piss.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
No
**************************************************************
Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
I don't even WANT to know what his left hand is doing.
*______________________________________*
Submitted by Darknight on Fri, 11/09/2012 - 4:27pm.
THE TRUTH. Making the world a better place.
I love you J Harv.
He looks like an ad for elf porn, like he's waiting for an elf to come lick on his l'il old candy cane.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Spending Christmas in Goleta with Katy's evangelical parents does not sound ideal.
This looks like the DVD cover to some chessey, skeevey Christmas porn.
*shudders* He is SO GROSS.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
he looks like about-to-pass-out drunk & jaded Santa.
Omg, there are only two people in this world who fill me with the rage of a million inferno's....this greasy douchebag, and Julia Roberts. I wish I could put them both in a bitchslap machine and watch them get punched, all day, every day.
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
i don't like the douchebag.
The family knew he was stoned the moment they opened the front door.
"If Drinks are not involved, then neither am I"
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Wed, 12/26/2012 - 5:11p
Honestly, is Mayers that much of a skeeve? I never heard of him before he started dating fairly famous women, and his grossness seems to be a given.
-----------------------
Yeah for example in an interview, he said his dick is a member of the KKK.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/02/17/the-9-douchiest-things-jo_n_465...
And I thought her and Russell Brand was bad. Someone please shake some sense into this girl.
-----------------
"Bye, Whore" -MK
No offense to midgets but he looks like one of those no-necked midgets.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
LOL I love this entire post. "I'd rather have rabies in my stocking!"
Seriously though, I've said this before and I'll say it again. She has got to be broken inside, what with the trash she brings home.
I don't get the attraction to this guy. He seems like a supreme douche and his music sucks ass.