Japanese Porn Starlet Uta Kohaku Can Now Host A Bukakke Party For One
.jpg "bottlesofspunk (1).jpg")
That's Japanese porn actress Uta Kohaku peacing out over her new jizz collection. As part of the promotion for her upcoming epic Semen Collection 2 (this bitch is literal), she asked dudes on Twitter to send her their spunk. Over 100+ dudes set aside the encrusted sock they normally dicksneeze into, and shot into bottles. And sent them to her. She received all of these donations (complete with the guy's name) within a 10-day period, according to The Huffington Post.
Uta was incredibly grateful for the outpouring of jizz that came her way, and promised to "care for them as if it were my own child." She's very maternal. The film has already begun shooting, and Uta hasn't said what she will be doing with the semen during the film or after. We have several male celebrities in this country who will gladly recycle those bottles for you, Uta. Just send them in care of the Scientology Celebrity Centre, Los Angeles, California.
I don't think I'm going to be having mayo on any of my sandwiches for the forseeable future. She sucks for that.
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Submitted by RandéSleepover on Sat, 12/29/2012 - 12:25am.
Still not as disgusting as natto...
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Hahaha! Yep, that stuff fucking stinks! I had it with "Korean brunch" a couple of times.
Harfang:
Courtney had the means, motive and opportunity to have Kurt murdered. She is a sociopath. I have no doubt that she had a hand in his murder.
There is a lot of forensic and investigative information that has been compiled since his death, but King County hasn't or won't reopen his case.
http://www.squidoo.com/kurt-cobain-death
Submitted by Kukai-manini on Sat, 12/29/2012
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I think Courtney was responsible for having Cobain murdered and making it look like a sloppy suicide. She is an evil sociopath. I really hope she rots in Hell.
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Many people have believed this for pretty much the entire life of the Internet as we know it. It has never made sense to me. I don't think Courtney had either the ability or the actual sociopathology for this. I *DO* think Kurt's death was a terrible waste, but I also have been suicidal myself, and given what I know about his life and work (which is not all that little) I believe he was very capable of suicide. I too have been in a mental state where I might have deserted my child because I thought it was better for them in the long run. Cobain had that kind of self-hatred. That doesn't make him any less genius or awesome. Many tremendously creative people are in immense pain and cannot be sufficiently helped before they manage to take their lives. It was easy to demonize Courtney. She didn't deserve it then. Ironically, that has changed.
Courtney has become a true scumbag, and I no longer try to defend her, like I did when she actually worked and showed some talent. I still adore her performance in People vs Larry, and I still listen to Hole's first 2 albums, because I genuinely like Courtney's singing on them. She used to have a badass voice. But with her current behavior, yeah, you guys can hate her all you want. (Who the hell messes with Dave Grohl's life like that? As famous humans go, he's the shiz. And yes I mean that in all seriousness.)
Daddy issues much, Uta? After seeing this nastiness and the Delhi bus rape victim dying a horrid death, the "thing" called WOMAN still has FAR to go.
This is what happens when you're not allowed to show genitalia in your porn...
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And speaking of Lindsay Lohans daily diet...In other Lohan news, she's going to be on Million Dollar Decorators on Bravo Jan.1st.
http://www.lindsaylohansource.com/2012/12/lindsay-lohans-house-gets-a-re...
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I feel hungover and I didn't drink anything last night. My tummy hurts now and I've suffered 3 wet burps now. Grossest thing I've ever seen.
"You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun" -Al Capone
Submitted by dementa on Sat, 12/29/2012 - 1:21pm.
HB Jennifer Ehle, the best Lizzie Bennett ever!
I have a sick thing for Keira Knightley in that role...
Submitted by louise_brooks on Sat, 12/29/2012 - 1:28pm.
I know I say this all the time, but Jude was so sweet as a single dad in "Holiday" that I've given him a break ever since (the nanny, hairline, and all that notwithstanding).
I'm kinda disturbed at the variety of goo shades.
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¿donde está machín?
wtf??
its after NOOOON!!
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Posh Beckham is one of the Seven Signs of the Apocalypse.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Sat, 12/29/2012 - 1:18pm.
Louise (from IMDb):
Jude Law (1972, Lewisham, London, England, UK)
I know I say this all the time, but Jude Law has something creepy about him. Like I don't think I'd want to be alone with him (not that I'd ever get the opportunity, but you know what I mean).
OT: For fans of the Walking Dead
A montage of the first two and a half seasons to Adele's Skyfall. Oddly fitting.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kdmpztSHV8
It's the "Dumb Ways to Die" song with Zombies.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPbVR6TgO28
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Sat, 12/29/2012 - 1:18pm.
HB Jennifer Ehle, the best Lizzie Bennett ever!
I cannot in good conscience wish Jon Voight a HB after seeing reviews for "Baby Geniuses 2" and "Karate Dog," and finding out there is a THIRD "Baby Geniuses" movie and he's in it! The man is clearly insane.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Jesus Christ, can we get a new post to replace this disgusting bullshit.
Fuck men and their fucking dicks and jizz.
Sorry but I'm just pissed as fuck reading about the now-deceased gang rape victim in Delhi.
FUCK THIS GODDAMN WORLD
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"End well: this isn't going to." - MK
Louise (from IMDb):
Jude Law (1972, Lewisham, London, England, UK)
Jon Voight (1938, Yonkers, New York, USA)
Ali Hillis (1978, Huntington Beach, California, USA)
Patricia Clarkson (1959, New Orleans, Louisiana, USA)
Danny McBride (1976, Statesboro, Georgia, USA)
Katherine Moennig (1977, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA)
Jennifer Ehle (1969, Winston-Salem, North Carolina, USA)
Ted Danson (1947, San Diego, California, USA)
Diego Luna (1979, Mexico City, Distrito Federal, Mexico)
Andy Wachowski (1967, Chicago, Illinois, USA)
Were no celebrities born this day??? WTF??
Uta's website, with movie clips if you dare. Note the common Japanese porn themes of naughty schoolgirls and nurses:
http://www.utakohaku.com/
I'll let her speak for herself:
"As you can see, she mostly likes to film with her friends. Maybe because she doesn't feel secure about her boob size, then she hopes that you will have enough of big boobs from her friends, and enjoy her fucking scenes. Nobody knows. As long as you like Uta Kohaku, please enjoy her movies out there!"
oooh Soda Stream
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
What brand of mayo is everyone eating that even remotely resembles a jar full of semen? The texture is not even close to being right.
I think this shit is fake, cos all the bottles look exactly the same (please tell me it's fake).
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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK
NEW POST! NEW POSSSSTTTTT!!!!!!!!
ANYTHING, even the plastic punchable mug of a Kardashian!
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
PSL, have you ever seen Parisite IRL?
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
New post please. This woman skeezes me out. I don't want to look at those bottles anymore. I don't want to think about what she's going to do with them. I don't ever want to know what she does with them.
Dog, I was thinking the same thing. ENOUGH with this fucking gross post.
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And I'm not sorry (I'm not sorry)
It's human nature [it's human nature]
And I'm not sorry [I'm not sorry]
I'm not your bitch don't hang your shit on me
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS UNHOLY ON THIS BLOG, CAN WE GET A NEW FUCKING FRIGGING POST, PLEASE!!!!!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
that's no peace sign, that's her asking for two more jugs of semen.
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
Good gravy that is a lot of *gags*
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
What horrible things have to happen in your life to crush your soul to the point where you ask men to do this and then show it off?
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"Look at this lamb, I'm going to make condoms out of it so that you can ride me until your pussy says 'baaaaaah.'"
~ASkars as channeled by Michael K
Disgusting. Can we go back in time and nuke them some more?
no self respecting homeless dude is going to collect those bottles!
Oh I agree, they have tons of vending machines that sell tons of normal things. It's the stupid shit (like used underwear) that is a myth.
I loved Japan but hated the food, or at least, I hated the fatty meats. So gross.
You know that over in CA, PMK is cursing that she didn't think of this idea for Kim years ago.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Altho I have to say, this is one of the funniest J. Harvey posts ever. Which means that bitch needs to check himself into the looney bin. Bahahahahhhahahahhh
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End of assist
Well, isn't she a wholesome-looking, rancid slutbag?
Submitted by Kukai-manini on Sat, 12/29/2012 - 5:43am.
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double post. let's say.
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
Submitted by Kukai-manini on Sat, 12/29/2012 - 5:43am.
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I hate Courtney, although I do not think she herself put the gun to his head, literally. But she is a callous whore. a deadbeat junkie whore, who does not deserve to have a daughter in her care. The Court agrees.
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
I think Courtney was responsible for having Cobain murdered and making it look like a sloppy suicide. She is an evil sociopath. I really hope she rots in Hell.
@ Glambert- your quote, ''I think Denise is the worst of the bunch''.
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for being clean/drug free? Taking care of the kids, even the one's from his recent ex. Not bashing Charlie Sheen? Raising her daughters on her own (even with the alimony). Not thinking about me me me? Not remarrying in haste or dating in spite? Moving on, and taking the high road?
Please, elaborate.
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
I am sorry for anyone who feel they have to degrade themselves like this in order to accomplish something.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Jeg er norsk.
Eeeeeeewwww yuck and blech. Those multi-hued bottles of splooge are icky to say the least!!! I really don't want to know what is planned for them.
Submitted by Glambert on Sat, 12/29/2012 - 3:03am.
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Courtney talent, what an angelic voice, what a voice! What a beauty! Thank god the Smashing Pumpkins guy gave her lyrics and instrumental edge to work with. Thank god Cobain and others wrote her hits.
Yes, Courtney is talent.
I'll give you this, she was great in The People vs Larry Flint.
Motherfucker Glambert she's the grossest, least talented, ugliest, drug addicted junkie, junked out mentally unstable of them all. Her own daughter took a restraining order against her. Cobain killed himself while they were together (not that it's her fault, but she was no help). But bravo, sick fuck, for naming her the most talented and successful of all stripper/porn whores.
and she's still on Kurt's money suing here and there and on drugs.
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
Come to think of it, she is rather homely-looking for a Japanese girl.
I gather this is J Harvey (fuck, you remind me of PJ Harvey when I type your name. I'm sure it's an alias) way of showing some of us assholes the middle finger who complained about him. Your Michael K is just as trashy, gay and gross on any given post.
J. Harvey, you're okay. and 98.9% of us are grateful that you and fellow blogger colleagues take your time to entertain us, and do it well.
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
The human race is setting itself up for an honorless downfall.
A big smooch to all still present at this hour.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
What is life.
Gross..
She could do a PSA about safe sex because you know how porn stars like to make themselves look dignified some how and send them all in for disease testing and notify said sperm donor.
Submitted by CodeRed on Sat, 12/29/2012 - 12:51am.
they're callous whores. Anna Nicole Smith, Carmen Electra, Denise Richards, Courtney Love to name a few, got lucky to marry rich or make it in their prime.
and denise richards at least comes out as normal from the lot.
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Pfft!
First of all out of the 4 people you named Courtney Love is the ONLY one with any shred of discernible talent. Yes she is a batshit druggy but she did put out a few good albums and did put out a few good acting roles.
Anna Nicole Smith is at least the top gold digger of ALL TIME bringing her shit to the Supreme Court over half a FUCKING BILLION DOLLARS!(I personally think she EARNED IT....did you want to fuck that decrepit 90 year old billionaire gasbag? I didn't!)
As for "normalcy" I think Carmen Electra is way more normal than Denise Richards.
I think Denise is the worst of the bunch.
amazingly enough, if you take out the porn aspect, and replace the chick in the picture... i really wouldn't put it past Yoko Ono pulling this stunt, and posing for this exact photo... claiming that it was "art", of course.
... not that collecting, or sending used seed in perfectly hygenic used water/soda bottles isn't an incredibly interesting way of getting some press... ya gotta admit... it got her on dlisted, right?
besides those thoughts, i'm left with only... eeeewwww!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Isn't this like the filthiest post ever in the history of Dlisted?