Twenty Two Tickets To Paradise
Because they have more money than we'll ever have and more rug rats than we'll ever want, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, their child army and their SWAT team of twelve nannies are sunning their buns and The Leg in the Carribean according to Radar. Or, more specifically, at designer Donna Karan's crib on Turks and Caicos. Celebuzz has pics of the place, I Googled, and it's a bargain at $10K a night. BUT they do throw in complimentary flip flops for chasing down wild children by the black volcanic stone lined infity pool, so that helps. They are being joined by Brad's parents, his brother, his sister and their families. That's 22 people in all. It really DOES take a village. Look at that place. No really look now, because it's gorgeousness will be wiped out like a car bombing by the time that couch and table jumping brood is done with it.
Damn, TWELVE nannies?? Are they sure that's enough? If I've got the right place it only has eleven bedrooms, so there will probably be some bed sharing going on. Since Angie sleeps in her custom black mohogany coffin and from the look of Brad's face he doesn't sleep at all, there will only have to be a few bunk sharers or floor dwellers. (Don't EVEN look at me bitches ~ Zahara). No, you know they have all twelve nannies piled up like laundry on the smallest bed so it's all good.
In other Brad and Angie news, the marriage rumors, take 5832, are back and Gossip Cop (via OK Magazine) is saying they're REALLY for honest for seriously true tying the knot this summer and getting matching tattoos to mark the occasion since Angie has two inches of un-inked real estate left. Supposedly they can't agree on where to get them or what type of tattoo to get. Angie wants an artsy one only she can understand, and Brad is leaning towards a cartoon character. The jokes write themselves. These two need to just go ahead and jump the broom already, because this shit got old 450 announcements ago and nobody will care when they finally Hoveround their old asses up to the altar. Hell, nobody cares now.
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The twins are from two surrogates. Not the same age. Didja see the squished stomach pics when AJolly was lifting and carrying one of the older kids? The pillow moved all over the place. Then, pre-devilery, she posed in photos in 4" pumps and a 7-8 month looking belly. This was after claiming edema and other complications.
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"That's what you said a week ago in Guadalajara." - Honey West
So she thinks she's Lara Croft?! I played Tomb Raider before the movies came out and I always thought Jolie was the wrong choice. Not cool enough, not wise enough, not "topdog enough". And she looks unbelievably old in this pic. And I hate nude as a colour - my grandma used to wear it all the time.
Anyway: Brad always wanted to have a big family, but is a big family which is cared for by twice as much nannies really a "family"? The two of them are insane.
I'm still waiting for these muthafuckas to adopt ME!
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Submitted by Lope on Mon, 12/31/2012 - 4:05am.
It's not just her boobs- her hips look unnaturally wide. That happens when you're pregnant. Usually she looks kind of angular, I think. She def looks pregnant to me. And as for this being a trip from hell, come on. It sounds like fun. A stunning environment and plenty of help to allow you to relax and enjoy it.
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Noooooooo! Shut your moufff! : P
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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
It's not just her boobs- her hips look unnaturally wide. That happens when you're pregnant. Usually she looks kind of angular, I think. She def looks pregnant to me. And as for this being a trip from hell, come on. It sounds like fun. A stunning environment and plenty of help to allow you to relax and enjoy it.
This is how all those stupid pregnancy rumors get started. This picture is from LAST YEAR in New Orleans.
Kuakamanini -that's cuz they are fake , she too skinny bony feeling yik no waist too.
"If it were socially acceptable I would esconce myself in velvet. " George Costanza
I grew up in the high rent district during the baby boom years. Nobody had more than one nanny. And Nanny could control 8 kids with a single dirty look. Can you imagine being a kid with so many different adults "looking after" you.
Yes, we are so fabulous, strutting our little fuck-parts droppings and adopted luv bundles for all the world to see. Get the fuck outta here...how much attention do these asswipes need? Angie looks like shit. She's probably carrying another new little bundle of jizz magic in that smelly, old, tattooed womb of hers.
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"When in doubt, freak 'em out" -- Sharon Needles
OH Shit...Give me Brangelin and company (family) ANY day instead of the breaking news of Kimye expecting a little goldigger. ICK to the 100th power. Bitch is not even divorced to that Kris character
Those boobs are massive on a body that looks like a Qtip.
Bigbendy yup a total waste of cash. Betcha they paid him a ton of it too !
Whatever of course she does she's had them for years now at least a decade since she did the film Gia wayy back in the day. If u go back to when she was married to her first hubby Johnny lee miller I think she was flat chested in those days though.
"If it were socially acceptable I would esconce myself in velvet. " George Costanza
it is odd how many people have posted about angiehoes boobs that don't remember she 'appeared' with them back in early summer ,, in that black SATIN 'burka'
here is a pic of that get up (she was at some "UN" function and decided to wear this get up )
http://www.crazydaysandnights.net/2012/12/angelina-jolie-is-giving-up-ac...
(CDAN obviously remembered her new_tits appearance cuz he just last wekk posted the Pic of that outfit
:)
Angie ho and bradders 'disappeared' (EG zero Paps pictures and no public appearances) for a month or 2 last spring 2012 (after her embarrassing "LEG" incident at The Oscars. they were out of "paps" site for long enough that folks on the net started saying:
Plastic Surgery and recovery!
ans sure enough.. Angie ho REappears in early summer with her new tits draped in the black SATIN burka number linked above
BTW, that black SATIN burka she is wearing is for some type of Day-meetings with some type of foreign
politicians she was 'meeting' with in her "UN capacity" fart fart
IOW this get-up was *not for an evening/party event
but her
"I'm an important UN person" workin' outfit
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"I (almost) never look back, darling. It distracts from The Now."
= Edna 'E' Mode
Twatty yeah I saw it and who the heck could afford that stupid shite ?!
Brad the billy goat is a dumbass & I hate those Chanel ads Id bet coco is spinning in her mausoleum if she knew.
Isbolmae I'm not sure why but I'd guess for Angie it's a time saver to have a two for.
On the other hand for J lo & Mariah both these vain bitches they'd be adamant to have to go thru only one pregnancy and get one of each and be done. For the reason of vanity not to ruin their bodies etc. Smug pair of cows that jlo & mooria both !!
"If it were socially acceptable I would esconce myself in velvet. " George Costanza
Why is it important for these hollywood types to have twins that are boy/girl? What's the point?
I told a Chanel rep that I hated the Brad Pitt ads and she agreed with me. Definitely not a good move on their part.......a huge waste of money.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Sun, 12/30/2012 - 9:07pm.
It has to be awesome having twins... two babies, only one pregnancy. I could live with that. I had to have my two one at a time!
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Great in theory, not in practice. The headaches are not spaced a part.
These two are as delusional as the Lohans if you ask me. Angelina thinking she's hot stuff with her bony leg jutting out of her dress, Brad with his moronic, embarrassingly-bad perfume commercial. They're just weird.
I like these two when they're on free time but their movies are shit and violent and down right stupid. I wonder if they know they are being played by the man who milks them for all it's worth.
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What is her problem? She's just laying there...
Did she get a boob job? Got to hand it to these two they sure are savvy at getting attention.
That outfit highlights her NO waist attached to a pair of veiny chicken legs and spindly arms.
Her wardrobe is so fucking boring. Black, nude. Her boobs look good there though.
Sounds like the vacation from hell. Me, I'd leave my 2,327 kids with the grandparents and take the hubby to Tahiti. ALONE. Without the kids or other family members.
But then again, we all know Angie and Brad don't actually bump uglies anymore. So of course this would never occur to her.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
There is no way those two famewhores are still doing it. The fun ended after Shiloh, even though it's the nannies who do all the childcare.
Kisa -- good point about the soap. Some designer soaps can cost upwards of $30 a bar, but I guess that's still too cheap for them. Did you happen to see that hideous furniture Bradley Billy Goat is "designing"? I think a sofa is like $45,000 or something equally atrocious.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"LEAVE THE COUNTRY BEARS ALLLLLOOONEEEE!!!!"
-- christine the hoff
Sounds like the siblings have kids, too - maybe there are a couple of babies in the mix who need help at night? Of course, my damn kids would have a heart attack if a stranger came in their room to comfort them at 3:00 am.Sarah Smile
Mix I don't think they have that much sex anymore probably after Shiloh she Angie shut the front door. The twins were done at the clinic.
Whamo Idk if it's artificial insemination or what it's called but it's part of a sex selection clinic services that's all. No mystery anymore the jig is up for HW now.
Cookie monster you are referring to the bio kids naturally.
"If it were socially acceptable I would esconce myself in velvet. " George Costanza
Twatty it's probably cuz soap only costs about 3-4$ a pakage so they don't or can't be associated with the poors if the price of a bar of ivory was $5k each betcha they'd start sudsing up all right !
& speaking about poors I'm surprised goopy didn't go the sex selection route to have her applemoses together oh yeah she lives in jolly olde England they have the NHS there they don't pay for medical services so that shite don't exists across the pond. Nor does it up here in canada either. No shite !
"If it were socially acceptable I would esconce myself in velvet. " George Costanza
The three blonde kids are gorgeous. The others, mech.
They have these sex selection clinics on the QT in LA where they'll separate the sperm by sex in a centrifuge and then impregnate with one of each sex to garauntee that they conceive fraternal twins. Brandgelina , jlo , Mariah , pretty woman chic ( I can't remember her name ) the one with the big teefs her she did it too. They charge about 80k for it that's nuthin for these folks. Meh whatever Trevor.
"If it were socially acceptable I would esconce myself in velvet. " George Costanza
LOL Sweetasss, what the hell is up with Angie's bewbs!!?!?!
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
Per Submitted by Whamo on Sun, 12/30/2012 - 8:50pm.
I highly doubt they conceived the twins naturally, ask yourself why in all places Hollywood has the highest percentage of heterozygote twins.
That's not sex, it's artificial insemination.
Lucie -- hey, love! <3
Kisa -- hey, did someone mention smelliness??? We know Brad is a smelly old goat but I also heard Angelina stinks, too! I just can't with smelly people -- yuck! If you can't take 5 minutes to wash your ass in the shower and then slick some deodorant on, then there's something really wrong with you. And when you're that rich and you have a team of people doing all your other shit, then you have no excuse for your ass to be stinkin'!!!!!!!!!!
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"LEAVE THE COUNTRY BEARS ALLLLLOOONEEEE!!!!"
-- christine the hoff
Can't stand these annoying pretentious assholes. 12 nannies is so they never have to do shit for their kids EVER. I'm sure their employees loathe them
It has to be awesome having twins... two babies, only one pregnancy. I could live with that. I had to have my two one at a time!
Submitted by heima on Sun, 12/30/2012 - 8:45pm.
I highly doubt they conceived the twins naturally, ask yourself why in all places Hollywood has the highest percentage of heterozygote twins.
That's not sex, it's artificial insemination.
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Apparently turkey basters are hard to find in Hollywood.
@ Hoff.....good to hear, keep it up:)
@ Stoney....aww sorry to hear Santa sucked:( fucker, next time I see him I'll drop kick him right in his big bag for you! :D
Not that I like those two phony idiots, and I'm far from finding a justification to their lifestyle, but I think it isn't unlikely that they are keeping 12 nannies with them just to change/rotate shift during the holidays...?
That's what I would do if I had loads of money to afford kids and nannies.
No, wait, what I would do is to take care of my own kids unless I'm busy with my job.
Submitted by miz cynical on Sun, 12/30/2012 - 4:13pm.
If Angie's pregnant, then that means that she & Brad had sex, which I'm not entirely sure happens anymore. I thought that they were basically living apart?
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I highly doubt they conceived the twins naturally. Ask yourself why of all places in this world, Hollywood has the highest ratio of heterozygote twins (which is extremely rare in humans).
That's not sex, it's artificial insemination.
Thanks, merry to you too whammo!
christmas was quiet, thankfully.
It's so refreshing to see that women like Angie Jo also have a hard time keeping their bosom in check! I hate when those puppies get all discombobulated under there! Ugh!
Santa kinda sucked, but hey, I don't believe in him so he was probably kinda pissed off. Merry Christmas to you too, Whamo!! xoxox
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by Stoney on Sun, 12/30/2012 - 7:55pm.
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Merry Christmas to you as well Stoney, I hope Santa was good to you:)
ubmitted by christine the hoff on Sun, 12/30/2012 - 7:43pm.
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Merry Christmas Hoffer all the best to you!:)
I was kinda thinkin bout ya, I figured the holidays might be a bit of a tough one for you so I hope you're doing well ((hoff)) :)
I am not defending these douchecanoes in any shape, form, or fashion, but I bet those nannies rotate hours or something. All 12 of them probably don't work at the same time. Right? *looks around*
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
I betcha that even if she has 122 nannies that Zahara is running that whole show !
That lil sista is for real. The side eyes she gives can only be compared to Louis bullocks. < < !!
"If it were socially acceptable I would esconce myself in velvet. " George Costanza
Submitted by Anonymous101 on Sun, 12/30/2012 - 7:23pm.
Submitted by IHateCharityChic on Sun, 12/30/2012 - 7:17pm.
Submitted by Anonymous101 on Sun, 12/30/2012 - 6:52pm.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sun, 12/30/2012 - 6:32pm.
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Hope you have a better day tomorrow. Have a good New Years. It's gonna be lucky 13 next year. Fingers crossed. :)
With that many nannies I wonder which one is assigned to wiping ass...
Whamo haha just like Joan Crawford Hehe !! Hey now !
Joe shumo dude your new avie cracks me up I luv Richard Simmons MY MAN !
"If it were socially acceptable I would esconce myself in velvet. " George Costanza
Tatiana I would tell him I don't care who u it is. Heck my cousin cut her hair and it looked hideous , all her friends were telling her yes it's nice then she asked me well I told her I hated it and it made her face look fat. She responded that I was bad I replied back with the truth that I'm terrible but her haircut did nothing for her now.
Later on she realized I was right and asked me what to do I told her to just put it up into a ponytail until it grows back and no longer made her face look so full once she had the length regrown at just the right amount. Either very short or long hair flatters her face shape / type at mid face level it just accentuated the girth of her cheeks and she looked rather dumpy. Its unbelievable that some of her friends told her it looked nice. They were blowing smoke up her butt. Who the fuck needs friends like that ?!? Really now this is Toronto & not Beverly hills !!
"If it were socially acceptable I would esconce myself in velvet. " George Costanza
Submitted by IHateCharityChic on Sun, 12/30/2012 - 7:17pm.
Submitted by Anonymous101 on Sun, 12/30/2012 - 6:52pm.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sun, 12/30/2012 - 6:32pm.
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Yeah, I know -- just had a rough day today though and unnecessarily took it out here. Sowwy about that. Funny you mention alternative universe as that is what I like to write about different dimensions now as a hobby ;)
But thank you so much for not calling me an idiot or telling me to eff off like Lucy did ;) Friends again?? :D Either way, Happy New Year! {hugs}
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