From The "Bitch, Please" Files: Anne Hathaway Thinks Her Performance In Les Miserable Was Just "Eh"
Anne Hathaway told us a million times over that she almost starved to death to play Fantine and her marriage almost ended during filming and if she doesn't win the Oscar for it, a litter of kittens will meet their maker. Anne Hathaway has jammed it deep down our throats that she deserves to win that Oscar and she's said everything she can to embed this into our brains, but now she's trying some reverse psychology shit. Anne, who already said that her performance in Les Miserables made her cry, tells The Los Angeles Times that her version of "I Dreamed A Dream" is about as exciting as giving a handjob to a soft peen. Anne told her director Tom Hooper that she wanted to do at least 12 takes of the song. After the 4th take, Tom told Anne that she did it perfectly, but she still wanted to go for more.
Hathaway insisted Hooper let her perform over a dozen takes of "I Dreamed a Dream," even after he said he'd gotten the perfect performance on Take 4. She wanted to see if she could make it any different, any better, any more — "any anything." But after she'd given 20 more takes, Hooper told her to call it quits.
"And I was like, 'Fair enough.' I never bettered it," she explained.
Asked if she is pleased with the version that appears in the final cut, she shrugged half-heartedly.
"Eh."
Because I'm in Kauai right now and have been told that the one movie theater here reeks of musty ass and the popcorn taste like it was popped with taint grease ("Then you should be ordering that shit by the gallons, Michael K." - you "Good point." - me), I haven't seen Les Miserables yet , but I feel like I don't have to now. Anne Hathaway has talked about it so damn much and jacked herself off non-stop for the past few weeks that I feel like I can say with confidence that it's the greatest performance ever given by an actress. God gave us the sense of hearing and sight just so we can take in the masterpiece performance that Anne Hathaway gives. Burn down every museum and torch every movie ever made, because Anne Hathaway's performance is the only piece of art that modern civilization needs.
And if she doesn't win the Oscar, the earth will implode from all of us HAHAHAHA-ing at the top of our lungs.


Having to listen to this bitch talk about this every day is like dying a slow, painful death.
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RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Mon, 12/31/2012 - 12:18pm.
The movie itself is a bit much but that's just my regular bias against musicals.
(Exactly why I won't go. Someone once treated me to Miss Saigon; I went, and enjoyed it, only because I was mad about her.)
Hey -- if Reese Witherspoon can win an Oscar, so can Anne.
(Was she bad in the June Cash role? Didn't see it. Seems like bad casting; she's from the south but had a cushy, upper-crust upbringing.)
What a fucking narcissist. Get over yourself, Anne Hathaway. Lately she's been getting on my nerves.
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I used to like this bitch until she got all Oscar-obsessed. SHUT THE FUCK UP. I don't care!!! No one does except you, you pretentious twat.
You know it sucks that these actors and actresses get all full of themselves and render themselves completely unlikable, so that if their performance is actually really good, and Oscar-worthy, nobody wants them to win it just because they're annoying the piss out of everyone. Take Rooney Mara, for instance....she was excellent in "Girl With the Dragon Tattoo." But she's such an unlikable arrogant little snot that I was rooting for anyone but her to win last year.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Anne Hathaway winning wouldn't bother me at all. What truly terrifies me is the prospect of ANOTHER Oscar going to that bland five-head known as Helen Hunt. And the fact that she could beat out the wonderful Judi Dench (Skyfall) once again is beyond belief.
Submitted by Bigbendy on Mon, 12/31/2012 - 12:24pm.
Suckface, she just heard the news that Hostess went bankrupt and there are no delicious cream pies on the shelves.
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that is very sad for this XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL woman, perhaps we can catch her tears with some Entenmann's Apple Puffs.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
THIS bitch. I hope she doesn't win squat. She is truly insufferable.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Mon, 12/31/2012 - 12:06pm.
Why is fat stuff crying today? Not enough pies and cakes for her to eat?
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Suckface, she just heard the news that Hostess went bankrupt and there are no delicious cream pies on the shelves.
Not a fan or hers but the performance is oscar-worthy. Saw the movie last night. I was blown away. Only weakness, Russell Crowe's singing.
I saw the movie and she gave an excellent performance. I was very surprised at her vocal ability. The movie itself is a bit much but that's just my regular bias against musicals.
Hey -- if Reese Witherspoon can win an Oscar, so can Anne.
Happy New Year bitches!
She sounds like a director's nightmare.
That being said, I've recorded dozens of songs with my bands through the years and it is so hard not to be hyper-critical of yourself and want to try a take just one more time...just re-do that one chorus, that one bridge, oops, I breathed in the wrong spot...maybe a little less vibrato here, that one word is slightly sharp, etc....
Anne's song in Les Mis was so good that I broke out in goosebumps. She hits it. It's her one good scene (she doesn't have much screen time). Marius is the most impressive singer throughout the movie, Cosette is underwhelming once she grows up, and Eponine's "On My Own" is equally moving, if not better than "Dream." Hugh Jackmeoff was all around fantastic.
Sasha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter stole the fucking show, though. I didn't even know they were in this flick so it was a hilarious surprise. They are terrible , dirty, scheming grifters.
"This world is a whore."
If she wasn't that great, then she should shut the fuck up about that Oscar now.
boo hoo look at me. ima want an oscar.
shut the hell up already.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
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Why is fat stuff crying today? Not enough pies and cakes for her to eat?
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
this twink-w/a-twat is going to get an award? -for what? putting a serious face on when she claimed "wardrobe malfunction" after she flashed the world her crotchpubes on the red carpet?
homely AND stupid.
no award, just crab medicine for her.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
From the HuffPo:
"I needed to go further into that negative place to play my character, and I love him so much that I was like, 'You're making me happy. You're keeping me up and I'm clawing to the sides of my life and I need to fall into a pit and you need to go, honey,'" Hathaway said.
BARF. Run for the hills, Anne's hubby.....run away!
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Mon, 12/31/2012 - 11:54am.
Let's hope you don't have to sing I DREAMED A DREAM afterwards haha!
Would Anne even get a Best Actress nom? Or Supporting? I don't know the story of Les Mis, so I'm not sure how much her character has to do in the film. I hope she doesn't even get nominated so we can get a few months laughter in.
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I haven't seen the movie but if it's anything like the stage musical ***SPOILER*** her character Fantine dies halfway through the first act. She has two big songs as the prostitute with the heart of gold. I'd be very surprised if she didn't get a supporting actress nomination b/c she did get a Golden Globe nom. And I guess they've awarded Oscars to more mediocre performances....Halle Berry, JHud, Gwyneth Paltrow.....
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Anne I used to like you but now even I am annoyed with you.
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
this fat fuck makes me sick
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Poor Anne. I like that she's not a fuck up, but she needs to dial it back a bit.
Please please please lose and then shut up forever
She must have been a real pill to work with. She didn't even have to starve herself but it seems to be THE thing to do to in hopes of getting the coveted Oscar.. case in point: Christian Bale - Best Supporting Actor Oscar in The Fighter.
She better not win because I don't think my TV would survive her acceptance speech.
MIGUELINA we were in Kauai earlier this year! Isn't it beautiful Miguelina? An old lady sold a dumb shitty joint to my friends there out of a van and everything! Did you try the lady's frozen ice that sells it out of her home? Honey, ask her to rainbow up with different colors/flavors oh never mind she'll just do that without you asking since you are so fucking gay Miguelina I would just freakin die Miguelina! Just about die!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
where are her clothes??
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Posh Beckham is one of the Seven Signs of the Apocalypse.
UGH. that's all I can say about this trick. Otherwise, have a good time in Hawaii, MK!
Oh, come on you people who think she won't take home an Oscar. Some hoity toity film critics associations have named her Best Supporting Actress, and she's made too many movies with too many people (Meryl for one) who are going to vote for their friend. Plus the clincher: she hosted the Academy Awards a couple years back so she's in good with the old guard. She's this years Charlize Theron, Halle Berry or Julia Roberts. I happened to have loved Natalie Portman in "Black Swan" because it was such a weird dark movie.
And another thing: it's as usual going to be The Steven Speilberg Appreciation Show, and they're going to have to throw Les Miz a bone.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 12/31/2012 - 11:49am.
but I can dream, can't I?
Let's hope you don't have to sing I DREAMED A DREAM afterwards haha!
Would Anne even get a Best Actress nom? Or Supporting? I don't know the story of Les Mis, so I'm not sure how much her character has to do in the film. I hope she doesn't even get nominated so we can get a few months laughter in.
Jerseygirl - ha!
ewe & Lucy - it wold be amazing if this year the Oscars cut down the amount of time that someone has for their acceptance speech. And randomly decided to incorporate an Apollo-like cane when the winner's time was up.
Submitted by Dog: "Dear Anne:
PLEASE make that face when you lose at Oscar time!
xoxox,
The Next Oscar Winner Who Is Not You"
*giggles meanly*
She looks like Rachel Maddow in that photo. ETA: actually she looks like this teenage boy in my building.
I hope anyone but her wins the Oscar.
I have no problem with her, and that includes her freakishly disproportionate features. She's being asked to talk about the movie and her performance, so what's she supposed to do?
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Mon, 12/31/2012 - 11:46am.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 12/31/2012 - 11:39am.
Oh she SO isn't going to win.
They gave it to Natalie Portman. Even though someone else did 96.577% of the dancing in Black Swan. I can already imagine Anne's unbearable speech.
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ugh. That's so true :( And Nat's speech where she thanked Monsieur Le Douche Millepeen for giving her the life inside her or some other sappy BS was equally terrible.
but I can dream, can't I? Sally Field was fantastic in Lincoln; she'd be my first choice.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Submitted by miz cynical on Mon, 12/31/2012 - 11:41am.
I don't know if there's any other detail about her performance that she has left to brag about? Maybe the consistency or lack of BMs because she starved herself for the role? Wouldn't put it past her.
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I'm sure Ex-Lax and the chocolate laxative tea people will take out a full-page "Consider" ad for her in exchange for a shout-out.
Change her lip gloss for super glue.
And people thought Natalie Portman's Oscar speech was annoying, imagine if this bitch wins. She's probably already written it, and it starts with "I'm not worthy..."
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 12/31/2012 - 11:39am.
Oh she SO isn't going to win.
They gave it to Natalie Portman. Even though someone else did 96.577% of the dancing in Black Swan. I can already imagine Anne's unbearable speech.
"That'll do, pig."
Ugh. Will she shut the fuck up already?!?!? I think that every day, between now and the Oscar nominations, she has a soundbite ready to go/ released about this damn movie. I don't know if there's any other detail about her performance that she has left to brag about? Maybe the consistency or lack of BMs because she starved herself for the role? Wouldn't put it past her.
I don't know if I want her to win the Oscar so she'll STFU about it, or to lose the Oscar so that I can laugh my ass off.
Whomever said that she's a do-gooder/kiss ass/tattle tale/ little ms. perfect is right.
Attn: Judi Dench, Maggie Smith and Sally Field, please do not let this happen. Go adopt an entire orphanage together or something.
She has her head up her ass. THat's why her hair looks like that.
Oh she SO isn't going to win. I'm going to actually watch the Oscars just to see her reaction.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Dear Anne:
PLEASE make that face when you lose at Oscar time!
xoxox,
The Next Oscar Winner Who Is Not You
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www.modestneeds.org
I like Anne, but I'm getting really sick of hearing her talk about her performance in this movie. Just STFU already.
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No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart.