Friday, January 4th 2013

Naomi Campbell Was Robbed By French Thieves And You Know She's Got Their Number, Hussy (UPDATE)

Today's headline: Naomi Campbell injured as she was attacked and robbed in Paris

Tomorrow's headline: Paris thieves founds bludgeoned to death with a Blackberry in their underground lair, no suspects

How do you say "Nobody fucks with Naomi?" in French, because that's what needed to be whispered in the ear of French thieves who robbed her ass and knocked her over on the streets of Paris. Page Six says that over a month ago, Naomi The Terrible was hailing a cab in Paris when French thugs, who had been casing her out, knocked her to the ground and stole her shit. Naomi tore a ligament and her really hot Russian billionaire boyfriend flew her on his private jet to Vail, CO to be treated by the top orthopedic surgeon in the world. Naomi is now laid up in her mansion on Star Island in Miami, plotting her revenge on those bitches. The French police are currently looking for two suspects named Kar and Ma. A source put it like this to Page Six:

“It was terrifying. Naomi believes the assailant had been watching her, casing her out, and waited for a moment to strike when she was alone. She was attacked in the street as she hailed a cab, and robbed. Her leg was injured as she was violently pushed to the ground. She was understandably very upset and shaken up."

The Daily Mail has pictures of Naomi sitting on a Jazzy with her leg in a cast. The Daily Mail's source is squinting their eyes at all of this, because Naomi never reported the attack to the police. Another source said that Naomi only drives in limousines, thankyouverymuch, and if you've got kidney stones, just imagine her trying to hail a cab. That image will make you laugh so hard that all of your kidney stones will shoot out of your pee hole. When Page Six asked Naomi about it, she told them that she doesn't speak to the press and that she's fine.

Something in the milk really ain't clean about this, because The Daily Mail's source is right. Why was Naomi taking a taxi? Was her private limousine driver in the hospital, because she kicked his knee cap off after he made eye contact with her while opening her door? Why was Naomi hailing her own taxi? I didn't know her arm could do that! Where was one of her ten dozen assistants or bodyguards? More importantly, how did a bunch of regular dudes manage to tackle Naomi to the ground? Naomi can chop off a housekeeper's head from 50 yards away by throwing her ninja star Blackberry, but she couldn't beat down to stupid ass thieves? You'd think that Naomi would've stunned them with her cunt glare and then cackled as their brains seeped out of their ear holes while she beat them over the head.

What is going on, Naomi? Are you trying to tell us that your super Blackberry-beating power is weakening? Say it ain't so. I don't even know what world we're living in anymore.

UPDATE: French police are now saying that Naomi Campbell did file a report with them. Naomi was lounging in her limousine with the door open when two thieves on bikes tried to snatch her purse up. They didn't get shit, but apparently Naomi was knocked over a little and a ligament in her leg tore.

Posted by: Michael K


1.

Discount Louis Vuitton Handbags find online for prices nike air yeezys that you would never trust that you could pay. You can discount authentic Louis Vuitton handbags air yeezy kanye west purchase at reasonable prices. Prices low as 100. Believe it or Not discount Louis Vuitton handbags are available here cheap air max on the Internet for much lower prices than retail prices. You ever get nike mag for sale I wish you could afford an old Louis Vuitton handbag? To hold hundreds, if not millions of other borse Louis Vuitton outlet price some people out air max 2012 there who enjoy opulence have a real Louis Vuitton bag without the genuine price you want.

Every single time I've ben to Paris I've either seen people get mugged or had someone in my group get mugged. I saw someone knock a woman over and take her coat and purse once, and she was in a huge crowd of people. French people are extremely aggressive and devious, and this doesn't at all shock me. They don't see this as a bad thing, either. They think that if a person is well off, they deserve whatever she has.

fruitloop's picture

This is already the front runner for post of the year IMO.

---------------------------------
"He's the angriest man you'll ever meet. He's like a man with a fork in a world of soup." Noel Gallagher on his brother Liam.

MizRo's picture

Shit! I had no clue her man is married...

I'd love to see her sans makeup, wig/extensions, eyelashes, etc...
Her body is bangin' though, can never take that away from her.

loopygorilla's picture

i wish i had a hot russian billionaire sugar daddy. fucking balding bitch.

bookworm's picture

No sympathy for this evil cunt. Karma is FINALLY knocking at her door.

Possum's picture

Her lips look like a puckered asshole. Always.

Naughychimp's picture

Why do we call her this Billionaire's girlfriend? He's married and rich and pays for her life: that makes her his mistress.

MizRo's picture

Couldn't happen to a better person.

I'm upset that she wasn't beaten with her own heels.
I laughed my ass off this AM when I heard about it - but it's been totally downgraded and I'm bummed.

Brown-EyedGirl's picture

Submitted by CodeRed on Fri, 01/04/2013 - 12:58pm.
are we sure the muggers are OK?

************************
Seriously, I knew a guy who was a raging alcoholic at one time - he got mugged on the way to the liquor store and he went so crazy on the muggers that THEY called the cops.

NC-Ladee's picture

"How do you say "Nobody fucks with Naomi?" in French"

MK - that pretty much sums it up. Naomi is one bad ass and still one of the finest on the catwalk - at age 43!!

The only part that sounds strange is Naomi hailing her own taxi. Can't see that. Where was her driver or assistants?

However if she did get jacked - I would handle it the same way. I wouldn't speak to anyone about it but my billionaire boyfriend. I definitely wouldn't go through the legal system. I suspect her boyfriend could find the thugs far quicker than the cops - and I suspect he'd put a more severe beat down on those who attacked her. That's the way to assure there will be no repeat offenses.

Wanna be thugs - play close attention. It's when your victim doesn't report the crime - that's when you should worry. That action says "I got this" like nothing else.

Dr. Dick's picture

All they could manage to do is tear a ligament? Lame. She deserved so much more.

DianaDeath's picture

She deserves so much worse.

****************************************
"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK

Anita Bidet's picture

Naomi is sex on a stick

saltydog's picture

Man I love this crazy bitch! Absolutely gorgeous and say whatever else you want about her but nobody can deny her body is SICK and probably the best runway body of all time.

Zorba-the-Geek's picture

I hate this entitled, vile piece of shit. Some people think her repulsive nature is just FAAAABULOUS but I sure as hell don't.

She probably got beaten by her boyfriend or some drug dealer. No common street thug would try to attack a 6 ft tall tranny in the street.

BS. You don't hail cabs in Paris. You wait at a taxi stand or you get a doorman at your hotel or apartment building to call you a cab. It ain't NYC. Cabs are fewer and far between and will just ignore someone hailing them.

Green Is Good's picture

This story is total BS.

Hey Naomi! If you thought you would get sympathy, wrong!

rukiddingme's picture

I doubt this "mugging" ever happened. I agree that she probably got into a knock-down/drag-out fight w/her BF & hurt her knee. Now she's milking it for all it's worth. Pathetic.

What's more sad than the fact that 10,000 animals got euthanized today? The fact that because of the ignorance of humans, it will happen again tomorrow. End the cycle. Spay and neuter your pets & please adopt your next pet from a shelter.

MissDior's picture

Shady as hell! I don't doubt she's back on drugs , but there's no way she's scoring on the street. She probably has a staff person whose sole job is to mix her blow with diamond dust. Definitely, visiting a side piece on the wrong side of Paris.

OXA's picture

If only she has been with Halle Berry.......

GreenFairy's picture

Couldn't have happened to a nicer girl, sorry I meant hag!

Karma is bitch, and so is she!

agirl's picture

love this: "The French police are currently looking for two suspects named Kar and Ma."

Dirk Diggler's picture

Those robbers have guts to take on Naomi. That being said, it could have been much worse for her. Nobody deserves to be mugged and I hope she recovers nicely. After all, she's been entertaining us for years!

Why do I feel like this is a torture porn in the making? Bitches made a big mistake!

Check out my thoughts on film and television www.amandalovesmovies.com

WithinReason...'s picture

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Fri, 01/04/2013 - 12:37pm.
--
Not an ipad! If she had one she'd have killed a dozen people by now.

Here Karma Karma... Naomi still looks like she would claw your eyes out if you looked her in the eye for too long. *looks down* *smack* And her real hairline is a disaster.

"looking for two suspects named Kar and Ma." - LOL

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░

JTROS's picture

Drunken fight with billionaire boyfriend is my guess. He either pushed her ass down or she messed up her knee running away from him.

Loved the Kar and Ma comment!

Gardening Girl's picture

I hope they snatched her wig off her bald ass head.

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Too bad she wasn't more badly injured. She deserves nothing but the worst.

CodeRed's picture

are we sure the muggers are OK?

I don't buy it.

**************************************************
And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.

dbella's picture

Submitted by LaChaylo on Fri, 01/04/2013 - 12:11pm.

If it was sea jasper, we all know it was our favorite ethics professor.

------------------------------

This is already my favorite comment of the day.

que cochina's picture

I've never been happier...for the thieves!

dbella's picture

So, she was "upset and shaken up?" ReeeEEaaaallyyy? Sort of like you'd be if you were an assistant and your boss was a raging cunt who screamed and threw shit at you? Hmmmm, poor thing.

Mel-Tang's picture

It's too bad that JHo and Goop weren't there to save her with their simple grace and beauty.

* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *

www.poopreport.com :)

<3-------------------------------<3

RIMADYL KILLS

RandéSleepover's picture

Maybe this is in advance of leaked pix from her iPhone or iPad? *feeling cynical*

Possible suspects: Almost anyone who knows her. Cohorts of her Russian amant. Disgruntled blood diamond dealers. Her last few waiters.

ethang's picture

This news gives me such joy. It couldn't have happened to a nicer person.

chinchilla's picture

karma musta been half asleep cuz if not the thieves woulda taken her phone and beat her with it.

ImpertinentVixen's picture

*does can-can of joy right out of thread*

Submitted by louise_brooks on Fri, 01/04/2013 - 12:25pm.

So what theory are we going with? Buying drugs? Drunken fight with her billionaire married boyfriend?

**********************

Naomi doesn't go anywhere alone and she certainly isn't going to be hailing a cab, get assaulted by 2 thugs and there's no paps around to photograph it. She probably pissed a tougher bitch off and got a beatdown.

Bigbendy's picture

You know she was just being "elegant" by taking a cab like normal people. Haha

louise_brooks's picture

So what theory are we going with? Buying drugs? Drunken fight with her billionaire married boyfriend?

LaChaylo's picture

If it was sea jasper, we all know it was our favorite ethics professor.

Bullshit. Bitch got into a catfight and got a beatdown by the other broad. Can't have THAT story out, now can we? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, drama queen supermodel gets mugged by thugs and NO ONE knows anything about it but her.

MissJaneTexas's picture

Is it bad to think KARMA?!!?! Now she must know how her victims of violence felt.

**************************************************************

Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012

TexnDoc's picture

Oh, she was a good sport and did AbFab and let Edina Monsoon and Claudia Ping of "Ping, Ping, Ping & Ping" complain the whole show that "Naomi is behaving very badly!" No hate.

boredasfuckyo's picture

Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 01/04/2013 - 12:00pm.

I LOL'D ALL OVER MYSELF
_________________________________

I wondered what that smell was...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."

suckandfuck's picture

I LOL'D ALL OVER MYSELF

-------------------------------------------------
Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.

SANS FARDS's picture

o/t I took Richard Armitage's santa hat off last night but now it's back on. grrr.

______________________________________________

A Lannister always pays his debts.

TOPANGA's picture

I think homegirl was somewhere she shouldn't have been...i.e scoring drugs or meeting up with her sidepiece. Hmmm
________________________________
"I was half a virgin when I met him!"

-Mean Girl,Regina George

boredasfuckyo's picture

Submitted by El Bastardo on Fri, 01/04/2013 - 11:55am.

One Paris newspaper wrote:-
'Naomi was hit so hard her wig ended up on top of the Champs Elysees flagpole' Sheeeeeeeeeet!
_____________________________________

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."