Lindsay Lohan Really Is The Neely O'Hara Of Our Time
Stephen Rodrick was on the set of The Canyons almost every day during filming for a New York Times Magazine profile piece about the movie and he somehow made it out alive. That's saying a lot, because at one point, Stephen was in the same car as Lindsay Lohan. Stephen's piece is at least forty thousand words long, but it's worth it, because shit is fascinating. LiLo comes off as a narcissistic, self-entitled ball of delusion who lives on a different planet where time doesn't exist. It has everything you could ever want from a forty thousand word piece, so pop the crackcorn and put your eyes on it. Here's a few highlights from it:
Paul Schrader, the director of The Canyons, cast Lindsay Lohan even though the movie's writer Bret Easton Ellis told him she was wrong for the part. Paul told LiLo that she would only get $100 a day (plus profits) and had to shoot a four-way sex scene. LiLo agreed to that and was okay with having no say in making decisions. But a quick minute into production, LiLo was fired after she didn't show up to rehearse with her co-star James Deen. The producer Braxton Pope let LiLo know that she was fired and the crazy bitch showed up to Paul's hotel, banged on his door and gave the performance of her life! This truly is some Neely O'Hara shit:
Pope finally reached Lohan, telling her she was done. Lohan began to cry and begged for another chance. Pope told her that Schrader had made up his mind.
Lohan headed for the Orlando. She pounded on doors until she found Schrader’s room. As she banged on his door, she texted him manically. Schrader could hear her crying but wouldn’t let her in. He texted her instead.
“Lindsay, go home.”
The hotel manager rang up to ask if he should call the cops. Schrader told him no and sat down on his bed. Lohan stayed out in the hall sobbing for another 90 minutes before she finally left.
Paul gave her another chance when he watched her screen test again. Paul told her that if she fucked up again, he'd drop her ass off at the back of the unemployment line. Of course, she screwed up again. One day when they broke for lunch, LiLo said she wanted to go to a restaurant with her assistants and this made Paul and Braxton Pope nervous. So they made a co-producer drive LiLo and her group of messes to lunch. Since it's kind of weird snorting lines of vodka in front of your co-producer during lunch time, LiLo pulled this hot move:
A few hours later, the production broke for lunch. Lohan announced she wanted to grab a bite somewhere on the Pacific Coast Highway. This concerned Pope and Schrader — they could monitor her only as long as they could see her — so they dispatched the co-producer, Ricky Horne Jr., to chauffeur Honig, Lohan and her assistants to wherever they wanted to go.
Horne drove them down the hill, pausing at a security gate. That’s when his passengers did a jailbreak, jumping out of his car. Honig frantically pushed buttons until the gate opened and the four of them dashed for Lohan’s assistant’s car. Horne sat, baffled for a moment, before heading back up the hill and briefing Schrader. The director was furious.
“O.K., she’s lost the privilege of leaving for lunch. She stays here.”
Lohan returned, only 15 minutes late, emerging from makeup to an angry Schrader.
After James and LiLo shot a scene where he grabbed her, tripped her and then body-slammed her to the floor, someone complimented her on how good she was at acting terrified and she gave all the credit to Michael Lohan. You should definitely play "Confessions of a Broken Heart" while reading this:
Deen came to life; throwing the negligée-wearing Lohan hard to the ground and pounding his fist into a wall with such fury I wondered if he had broken his hand. Lohan lay slumped on the floor, her hands guarding her face, shoulders shaking, tears pouring down her cheeks. Between takes, she listened to Ryan Adams’s cover of “Wonderwall.” After three shots, Schrader said he was satisfied, and Lohan fumbled for a cigarette. She headed downstairs, and someone complimented her work.
“Well, I’ve got a lot of experience with that from my dad.”
She didn’t elaborate, and no one asked.
And after LiLo shot that four-way sex scene with James Deen and two other porn stars, which she really didn't want to do, she drove from the set drunk. YAY!
A few minutes later, Schrader yelled cut. The crew packed up. Pope went to check on Lohan. He noticed that she and Gavin had been drinking, which was understandable for a young woman shooting a sex scene with three porn stars. Quietly, Pope told Lohan that he could get her a driver to take her home. But she refused, jumped into her Porsche and headed down the dark, narrow road toward the P.C.H. They all hoped they would still have a lead actress in the morning.
It goes on and on and on and you should really read the whole thing. After reading all 500,000 words of this masterpiece, I only have one question: FOR WHY DIDN'T THEY TURN THIS INTO A REALITY SHOW?!!!
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Submitted by joe shmoe on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 7:58pm.
Schrader got naked to encourage Lilo to do the porn scene? And that was what convinced her to drop her robe?
*speechless*
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She's just performing. She was playing the "I'm the emotionally vulnerable ingenue". After they were done for the day she and her mother took turns snorting coke off each other's labia for some clients.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Poor Schrader having to deal with this shit at his age.
This crackie sure knows how to play though. Tell him what he wants to hear and then change the game when it's too late for him to get rid of her. Apparently Schrader thought her vulnerable tear-stained act worked on film. I guess that's all the "acting" she has left and it still serves her well. She puts on the crying, poor abused child histrionics whenever she needs to. So far it seems to be working for her. The gifts just keep coming...
goes off to practice sad face in the mirror.
1) So, she begged to be in a movie that pays the same as what an extra would make?!
2) I stopped feeling sympathetic a while ago for anyone who chooses to give LiLo chance after chance. For what? You know what you're getting yourself in to. There's any number of actresses that would've done his movie.
3) Now I'm pissed at the director and the hotel employee that allowed this bitch to sit out in the hallway causing a fucking commotion for 90 minutes. You know that someone was inconvenienced by her shit. If I were a guest, looked out into the hallway and saw who it was, I would've called the cops myself!
Schrader got naked to encourage Lilo to do the porn scene? And that was what convinced her to drop her robe?
*speechless*
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I'm betting the mysterious middle-aged guy w/presents mentioned at the beginning is one of Lilo or Dina's clients from their escort business. I don't know who else would be jumping up & down to give either of them gifts.
I'm convinced she's got serious dirt on major HW players. Why is she still getting work? Why is she able to beat criminal charges better than the mob?
This proves once again that if Lilo's involved, things will be messy and they'll get press. Performing with porn stars may be her niche market. 10 guys Lilo, and you have your reality show. Meh on Deen though.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by snowball on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 7:31pm.
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 7:13pm.
James Deen sounds kind of lonely and sad, as well.
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There was a writer with, I think, Rolling Stone, who followed him around for a couple of days and wrote about it. It was the saddest, least sexy thing ever. I guess the takeaway was that yeah, he cared about making women get off, but it didn't mean anything and he knew it. There were times he had relationships that could have been more but he chose the job and the reporter could tell he was troubled about it. He didn't seem thrilled with some of the darker kink he does either.
It was pretty disturbing. I haven't really looked at him the same since.
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Link?
Please, Dr Freud, help us out. We desperately need to see Casper [the Friendly Ghost] fuck his mother! --- Cinema Snob
According to James Deen's Wiki page he is only 26, NO FUCKING WAY that guy is younger than me...No.fuckin.waaaaaaay!
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Submitted by RosettaStoned on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 7:20pm.
Submitted by NDNchief on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 7:11pm.
I haven't been able to read the D lately. But, to log on today and see this craziness from Strawberry Snortcake. Soooo delicious. I second what MissAnnThrope said; I too take guilty pleasure reading all things LiLo.
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NDN, please come sit next to me. Something tells me we would get along famously...
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*sits next to rosetta with blunt in hand*
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 7:13pm.
James Deen sounds kind of lonely and sad, as well.
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There was a writer with, I think, Rolling Stone, who followed him around for a couple of days and wrote about it. It was the saddest, least sexy thing ever. I guess the takeaway was that yeah, he cared about making women get off, but it didn't mean anything and he knew it. There were times he had relationships that could have been more but he chose the job and the reporter could tell he was troubled about it. He didn't seem thrilled with some of the darker kink he does either.
It was pretty disturbing. I haven't really looked at him the same since.
Death is too good for Lohan. She never has to pay if she OD's next week, and goes down as the tragic (barf_) loss of a young star. I want this spoiled, entitled whore to wind up as a day shift whore in Reno, or working at a gas station, and every day get asked, hey aren't you Lindsay Lohan? Every day she gets to think about the opportunity she had, and threw away because she was an entitled brat without an iota of decency, respect, or appreciation for all the opportunities she had.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
What was Pimp Mama Kris going to say? That Daniel Craig worked to get the career he has while the Kardashians' fame was handed to them on a glove that didn't fit?--MK
I don't feel bad for her, IN THE LEAST.
Lindsay has had SO MANY chances and opportunities - film, fashion, music, romance, and the California Justice System, to name a few. She had the money and looks, and enough talent to be someone - maybe not legendary, a la Marilyn Monroe, Elizabeth Taylor, or a Meryl Streep, but someone, nonetheless.
Now, Lindsay, I'm sorry, but you're a fucked-up grifter who's got more issues than a lifetime Vogue subscription. You look older and you look as if you probably smell. And you're disrespectful.
I would totally pay to watch a secret taping (documentary style) of the process and adventures of LL filming a movie.
Someone needs to get the crazy to sign a contract that would surreptitiously allow for that. They wouldn't even need to worry if she disappeared during filming... knock on the ho's door and make it part of the film.
GENIUS, MK.
I hope the broke director had the camera running on some her tantrums and meltdowns.....that is bound to make more than this disaster of a production. Why doesn't she see the writing on the wall? She probably justified it as "arthouse" wages, but people were willing ot be paid that low b/c the breakout start was fucking transitioning from PORN. He would have worked for free to make the transition with some names.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
What was Pimp Mama Kris going to say? That Daniel Craig worked to get the career he has while the Kardashians' fame was handed to them on a glove that didn't fit?--MK
Submitted by NDNchief on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 7:11pm.
I haven't been able to read the D lately. But, to log on today and see this craziness from Strawberry Snortcake. Soooo delicious. I second what MissAnnThrope said; I too take guilty pleasure reading all things LiLo.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
NDN, please come sit next to me. Something tells me we would get along famously...
Submitted by FilthyBitch on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 7:16pm.
From the article:
"He had just learned that the film had not been accepted by Sundance — the film is scheduled to be put up for sale by William Morris Endeavor later this month"
Sooo can we quit saying it's for publicity now? The film has no release date, and a 50/50 chance of EVER being released. When is the last time you heard of a movie being sold through a talent agency? They will be lucky if someone bids $1k on this piece of shit.
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Maybe they blame Lohan, and putting this out is their way of payback for screwing up their movie.
Please, Dr Freud, help us out. We desperately need to see Casper [the Friendly Ghost] fuck his mother! --- Cinema Snob
From the article:
"He had just learned that the film had not been accepted by Sundance — the film is scheduled to be put up for sale by William Morris Endeavor later this month"
Sooo can we quit saying it's for publicity now? The film has no release date, and a 50/50 chance of EVER being released. When is the last time you heard of a movie being sold through a talent agency? They will be lucky if someone bids $1k on this piece of shit.
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"I've got a strong stomach and no standards to speak of" - MK 2/5/11
James Deen sounds kind of lonely and sad, as well.
I try not to go down the "bleak, damaged porn star" mindset, just because that's what it would take *me* to do porn. (Also, it's apparently not true: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23167939) But still.
*feels uneasy*
I believe every word, and I bet there was more.
One of the reasons is because if you read to the end, the movie has basically been shelved. It will probably never be released. They aren't doing this for viewers, obviously. And if you read how tight their budget was, there were probably no stragglers around the set. The only stragglers were the ones *with* Lohan probably, they're not going to trash her when they're leeching off her. It sounds like there was only a handful of crew.
But that won't stop Blohan from denying all this, I'm sure. Let's see if any crew says it's not true. I'm willing to bet there will be zero people.
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"I've got a strong stomach and no standards to speak of" - MK 2/5/11
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
I haven't been able to read the D lately. But, to log on today and see this craziness from Strawberry Snortcake. Soooo delicious. I second what MissAnnThrope said; I too take guilty pleasure reading all things LiLo.
I will give my critique on the article later...
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"That shit was more staged and choreographed than Paul Ryan's soup kitchen visit."- MK, 10/16/12
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 7:04pm.
“Well, I’ve got a lot of experience with that from my dad.”
She meant negligée-wearing and fumbling for a cigarette.
I feel so bad laughing at that (didn't stop me though LOL).
This article printed out with 20 pages!
I printed this out because I need to read this with a clear head.
Reminds me of the long article by Paul Haggis talking about Scientology and how warped it is. Another LONG ass article that more than worth the time to read.
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"That shit was more staged and choreographed than Paul Ryan's soup kitchen visit."- MK, 10/16/12
Was it like, sex-sex, like perno sex or like, fake sex, the kind that involve merkins, if not, poor porn stars.
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
Great article, but it ends on a positive note. She's a piece of shit sociopathic grifter. The only video I want to see is her death video. I'm gonna party like it's bin Laden all over again. Fuck this fucking bitch.
Lohan, just die already. No seriously. OD or get choked in some kinky sex game with some Arab sheik who's paying you 10,000 times what you're fucking worth.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
THAT was 25 when that photo was taken?
“Well, I’ve got a lot of experience with that from my dad.”
She meant negligée-wearing and fumbling for a cigarette.
If there is a lawsuit, then we'll know if it's legit. If this article is fabricated, then there will be a lawsuit. From the sound of it, the producers could used the money. But I doubt the New York Times would publish it if they couldn't back it up. Especially given how sue-happy Lohan is. A lot of these stories in the article could have been bought (for a higher price than TMZ was offering) for this article. It could have been worked out with the producers that this would be published when the movie was about to be released for the publicity. It may be their way of getting back at Lohan. I mean, what better time to get the movie's name in the press while Lohan is in such deep shit and they are about to release the film? I bet the producers of Liz & Dick are kicking themselves for not thinking of it first.
Please, Dr Freud, help us out. We desperately need to see Casper [the Friendly Ghost] fuck his mother! --- Cinema Snob
Jesus Christ. Just awfuler and awfuler.
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"End well: this isn't going to." - MK
@GG
LOL@Bish.
that is all.
And WHO told this bish that she was up for Savages???? Blake Lively is a better actress and she's just a cardboard cutout that sends producers nude texts.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Just wow....and she keeps getting a free pass for "Mean Girls."
Yeah, it's not that I wouldn't believe it of her. But, as Mike says, no one went to the press? Not buying it.
I suspect it's publicity whoring, so that they at least get the car crash viewers that Liz and Dick got. But Lohan's probably not in it. But she can't sue, because she's broke and everyone believes it anyway.
I believe every muthafuckin word. And I'm betting the writer held back. This is the story if a so-called star imploding, and shit we know she's done you can't make up.
I think she's embraced herself as a useless fanewhore who has to beg for jobs because she's so unreliable and such a liability. It'll be laughable what she or WO will have to say in response.
Submitted by mike on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 6:44pm.
I'm a bit dubious. All of that transpired yet no witnesses ran to TMZ for their two minutes of fame?
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I wouldn't be surprised if on set they had a ton of rules and contracts about keeping mum on the production outside of the daily updates from the producers. It was probably the only way they could get Lohan. It could also be the people behind the production were actually tight with the producers and didn't want to endanger the production more than it already had been. Or, maybe instead of selling it to TMZ, they sold it to the NY Times to make this article, and NYT was simply paying better. Or, since there was already a reporter on set, if they had leaked something, they would have been found out and fired. A lot of times dirt will come out after shooting simply because people want to get the job done before inviting all the press drama. Like the Liz & Dick drama about the producers possibly suing her for violating her contract. Or the stuff about Million Dollar Decorators only coming up after filming. They probably saved all their crazy stories for when it was time to promote the film.
Please, Dr Freud, help us out. We desperately need to see Casper [the Friendly Ghost] fuck his mother! --- Cinema Snob
With this and the two H'wood Reporter book excerpts, my afternoon is FILLED!! :D What a joyous snow day this shall be.
Sweet God in heaven, that should have definitely been a reality show...or at least a "making of" documentary....
Could this just be a publicity stunt for a movie that is not expected to do well?
IMDB reported that this movie was "funded in large part by a campaign started on kickstarter.com". Basically, the movie was not lushly funded by the studio or other production entity. So, maybe that is what all this dubious fanfare is about?
If any of this is true (and Mike, I'm kind of teeter-tottering too), and there are others who will vouch for it, then I do indeed believe this is truly the end of her 'career.'
It all sounds true. But I struggle to understand why we're just hearing about it now.
The chick is batshit crazy. Right along with her mother.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
Also, did anyone find the part about Ellis's fascination with James Deen and the "flirty tweets" part insanely creepy?
Please, Dr Freud, help us out. We desperately need to see Casper [the Friendly Ghost] fuck his mother! --- Cinema Snob
I'm a bit dubious. All of that transpired yet no witnesses ran to TMZ for their two minutes of fame?
That's what you get for hiring this piece of shit.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Wow, just wow.
I cannot believe that someone hasn't tried to slip her some bad junk. Or, I am shocked someone hasn't kicked her ass so hard that she ends up in the ER. She is so insufferable!
They have ousted better and more talented actresses for smaller things. I can only think that they have this mistaken belief that all the bad press she gets will somehow make the movie more interesting. Mmmm...me thinks not.
Seriously, Michael K, you are so right!
WHY IS THIS NOT A REALITY SHOW????
Trying to get this bitch to work is MUCH better than the actual movie.
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"That shit was more staged and choreographed than Paul Ryan's soup kitchen visit."- MK, 10/16/12
FOR WHY DIDN'T THEY TURN THIS INTO A REALITY SHOW?!!!
^^^^^^^^^^this
She still has a Porsche? Wake me when it gets repo's , shit is gonna get real .
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Don't start none and the'll be none.
Um, and I love how it reveals how she got fired from this in the beginning and went screaming and crying through a hotel beating on doors trying to find the director.
Seriously, THIS should have been the movie they made. Do you guys remember "America's Sweethearts" which was about these Hollywood stars who were divorced but had to reunite for the premiere of their latest flick, and then it turns out the Director made an entirely different film about how much of a bitch the chick was???
That's what needs to happen here.
You know that Brett Easton Ellis is going to be buying up the media rights to her life after she croaks and write the most fucked up thing imaginable about her.
She's such a freak. And her lecturing Deen after being late for the 87th time and running away from production? Are you kidding?
She's like a little child. The way they felt they had to be watching her at all times like she's four years old. Good God. I'm surprised she's even toilet trained. You know she'd be screaming all the time for someone to change her.
But my favorite is all her "casting" input after agreeing she has no say in production. Crossing out the other actor's names on her script and putting other names and showing up late with those notes clearly visible to everyone just to show her disdain? And then suggesting Jared Leto for a role for a sixty year old? They're thinking Jeff Goldblum and she's like "Jared Leto"? It just shows how unsavvy and moronic she is. But she obviously thinks she's an industry pro. I would have loved to see those names she put in for the other actors. Probably Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp or something. it reminds of when she was all picky about who would play RIchard Burton and wanted Gerard Butler even though it was a LIFETIME MOVIE and would never be able to afford something like that. But she has no concept of expenses and just expects everyone will agree with whatever she wants because she's just so worthy of A-List costars. It not only shows how nasty she is, but how STUPID. So, so stupid. But she thinks she's a genius.
Please, Dr Freud, help us out. We desperately need to see Casper [the Friendly Ghost] fuck his mother! --- Cinema Snob
I read the entire article through a link on another site and it is AMAZING. Shithan is batshit. I'm so fucking glad Liz and Dick put her on the Zlist. She's in Anna Nicole Smith territory I'm afraid. What a nut.