None For You, Leonardo DiCaprio, Ben Affleck And Kathryn Bigelow!
Leonardo DiCatchAHo must have screwed Oscar's girlfriend (second revelation of the day: I guess Oscar only dates Victoria's Secret Angels too), because it still hates his ass. Emma Stone and Seth McFarlane announced the nominations for the Oscars this morning and there was nothing for Leo, which is why he's probably eating his feelings in a supermodel's crotch right now. And Steven Spielberg must have lube all over his peen, because it was a non-stop handjob party for Lincoln.
As expected, Lincoln got all of the nominations (12 to be exact) including Best Director for Steven Spielberg, Best Actor for Daniel Day-Lewis and Best Supporting Actress for Sally Field. Oscar showed some love for Argo, but they also ripped off Ben Affleck's man wig, tossed it in the gutter and told him to run after it, because he was left out of the Best Director category. So was Kathryn Bigelow even though Zero Dark Thirty was nominated for Best Picture. And squatting out a Botox-laced stream of piss onto Zac Efron got Nicole Kidman shit. And taking a finger up the ass got Matthew McConaughey shit too (but I'm sure the finger that went up his ass got a little shit on it, sorry).
Most of the nominations are after the jump (click here for the full list). A couple of facts, 9-year-old Hush Pussy from Beasts of the Southern Wild is the youngest Best Actress nominee ever and 85-year-old Emmanuelle Riva is the oldest. And another fact, if Anne Hathaway doesn't win, we're all in danger, girl, because she will lose more than her mind. JUMP!
Best Picture
Beasts of the Southern Wild
Silver Linings Playbook
Zero Dark Thirty
Lincoln
Les Miserables
Life of Pi
Amour
Django Unchained
Argo
Best Actor
Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
Denzel Washington, Flight
Hugh Jackman, Les Miserables
Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
Joaquin Phoenix, The Master
Best Actress
Naomi Watts, The Impossible
Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Emmanuelle Riva, Amour
Quvenzhané Wallis, Beasts of the Southern Wild
Best Supporting Actor
Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained
Phillip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
Robert De Niro, Silver Linings Playbook
Alan Arkin, Argo
Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln
Best Supporting Actress
Sally Field, Lincoln
Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables
Jacki Weaver, Silver Linings Playbook
Helen Hunt, The Sessions
Amy Adams, The Master
Best Original Song
"Before My Time," Chasing Ice
"Pi’s Lullaby," Life of Pi
"Suddenly," Les Miserables
"Everybody Needs A Best Friend," Ted
"Skyfall," Skyfall
Best Animated Feature Film
Frankenweenie
Pirates! Band of Misfits
Wreck-It Ralph
Paranorman
Brave
Best Foreign Language Film
Austria: Amour
Chile: No
Canada: War Witch
Denmark: A Royal Affair
Norway: Kontiki
Best Director
David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook
Ang Lee, Life of Pi
Steven Spielberg, Lincoln
Michael Haneke, Amour
Benh Zeitlin, Beasts of the Southern Wild
Best Original Screenplay
John Gatins, Flight
Mark Boal, Zero Dark Thirty
Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained
Michael Haneke, Amour
Wes Anderson and Roman Coppola, Moonrise Kingdom
Best Adapted Screenplay
Lucy Alibar and Benh Zeitlin, Beasts of the Southern Wild
Chris Terrio, Argo
Tony Kushner, Lincoln
David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook
David Magee, Life of Pi
Best Cinematography
Seamus McGarvey, Anna Karenina
Robert Richardson, Django Unchained
Claudio Miranda, Life of Pi
Janusz Kaminski, Lincoln
Roger Deakins, Skyfall
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pretty hate machine....imagine the epic meltdown if Hathaway lost to the 9 YO girl???
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
What was Pimp Mama Kris going to say? That Daniel Craig worked to get the career he has while the Kardashians' fame was handed to them on a glove that didn't fit?--MK
WHYTHEFUCK IS TED NOT NOMINATED FOR BESTFUCKINGPICTURE!?? RIGGED!
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" Can I wear the Scream mask? The mask from Scream... when I do you from behind..." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by cocoebert on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 11:43am.
Jennifer Lawrence is wonderful but she was woefully too young for that role. Couldn't carry the movie. De Niro was fabulous.
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I don't agree. She more than held her own against DeNiro when she gives him a verbal smackdown.
I know everyone jizzed over Joaquin Phoenix in The Master, but he had this super distracting walk and posture. He reminded me of Bobby Hill when he pulls his pants up to his chest and says, "What are you talking about??"
Philip Seymour Hoffman was great, though.
I haven't seen any of these movies yet so I can't comment, but I would love it most if Amy Adams beat Anne Hathaway. Hahaha. Losing to Sally Field wouldn't be as much of a burn.
Just best screenplay for Moonrise Kingdom? Was Silver Linings Playbook that effing good to get a best picture nod?
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
What was Pimp Mama Kris going to say? That Daniel Craig worked to get the career he has while the Kardashians' fame was handed to them on a glove that didn't fit?--MK
Lincoln will sweep.
Ann Hathaway will win, sad, but she will and we will hear about it FOREVER.
And I love how they randomly snuck Denzel in there for Flight as the token actor of color this year.
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 11:41am.
9-year-old Hush Pussy from Beasts of the Southern Wild is the youngest Best Actress nominee ever
MK it's HUSH PUPPY! LOLOLOLOL
lololololol!
Hush Pussy
@skinnyfat
I'm definitely more of a TV gal. I don't really go to the movies because there's rarely anything that I want to see. I do like some movies, like Zoolander. Lol!
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Douchechill!
Hush Puppy is her character in the movie, LOL her real name is Quvenzhané Wallis. I'm glad the movie got a lot of other noms too
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 11:42am.
Ophelia, this lil girl can take losing, trust, she's freaking AWESOME
It's not the losing, but winning at age 9 that could really fuck a kid up. But she is AWESOME :-)
Need to think about this more. But first thoughts, wow the academy really doesn't like Leo.
I'm surprised Affleck didn't get a nod for Argo. I think he did a fabulous job.
Jennifer Lawrence is wonderful but she was woefully too young for that role. Couldn't carry the movie. De Niro was fabulous.
I really liked Silver Linings , but I don't think it's Oscar worthy. Ben Affleck was completely robbed. I had to see Argo twice, it was that good.
I'm just excited for Seth MacFarlane. I don't really care about any of these and as usual haven't seen the movies. The only ones I care to see are Skyfall and Django.
Ophelia, this lil girl can take losing, trust, she's freaking AWESOME. (even tho I want her to win, where is bam bam?)
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
anyone named "hush puppy" deserves a win...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
9-year-old Hush Pussy from Beasts of the Southern Wild is the youngest Best Actress nominee ever
MK it's HUSH PUPPY! LOLOLOLOL
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
YES!!!!!!!! I AM SOOOO HAPPY!!!!! She needs to win! TAKE THAT ANNE HORSEYWAY!
(also she was SIX when she made the movie)
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
a 9 year old is nominated for Best actress? for realz? wow.
I know Tatum O'Neil was the youngest best supporting actress winner. Reminds me: does anyone remember that little kid from Kramer vs Kramer crying when he lost? Not sure if it's a good idea to nominate a child. seriously.
Hawkes and Macy both should have been nominated for The Sessions.
And while I enjoyed Silver Linings............. no fucking way it deserves a Best Picture nomination
Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 11:30am.
I didn't know that Hollywood took Bradley Cooper seriously.
I don't watch movies.
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REALLY? never? what do you watch instead?
Submitted by sonne on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 11:20am.
I tried to watch Lincoln and DDL did a great job but it was so boring. At least I tried (lol, my fingers wanted to write tired twice!).
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me too. why is that? everyone raving about it and DDL. DDl annoys me.
Bigelow and Affleck was ROBBED and so was John Hawkes. Alan ARkin and Hugh Jackman don't deserve their noms and neither does Haneke and Zeitlin. WHATEVER, PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE don't let Anne Hathaway win. She's such an arrogant snobby asshat.
Leo is cinemas susan lucci. Thirteen years from now they'll give him a pity fuck
Submitted by Webberbear on Thu, 01/10/2013 - 11:29am.
Admittedly, I haven't seen anything this year! But I was surprised to see Denzel and Joaquin nominated over John Hawkes in "The Sessions". From everything I heard, Hawkes was amazing.
I haven't seen it either, but really, when are Academy Award wins about quality?
I didn't know that Hollywood took Bradley Cooper seriously.
I don't watch movies.
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Douchechill!
the test run will be this Sunday's Golden Globes -If Hathaway wins that then the writing is pretty much on the wall for Oscar.. Get your barf bags ready folks!
Admittedly, I haven't seen anything this year! But I was surprised to see Denzel and Joaquin nominated over John Hawkes in "The Sessions". From everything I heard, Hawkes was amazing.
I haven't seen Lincoln, but I saw Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter, that counts, right?
I love Sally Field, I hope she wins.
Didn't see Silver Linings Playbook but I do love Jennifer! Good luck to her.
Aw, the Emu got a nod. That's nice, because he's like a less hysterical version of Hathaway.
Please god, let Sally Fields beat Anne Hathaway. And let Hathaway have a freakout on camera when Fields's name is called.
Anna Karenina should at least win Cinematography, as well as Production Design and Costume Design, because it was beautiful. And I'm astonished that Jude Law didn't get a nod.
Why is Anne Hathaway so fat?
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Love not seeing Leo. He irritates me. And not seeing Samuel L Jackson for supporting is a shame.
Well White Oprah, Jennifer Lawrence has her second Best Actress nomination at age 22. Isn't she living Lindsay's life? Bwaa haa ha.
I can't stand Emma Stone.
I tried to watch Lincoln and DDL did a great job but it was so boring. At least I tried (lol, my fingers wanted to write tired twice!).