Bradley Cooper Denied Taylor Swift's Ass
Taylor Swift's 2013 started off with Harry Styles dropping her on a boat headed to ByeBitchville, but she's not going to let that stop her from finding love another famous dude to keep her ass in the tabloids for a while. Taylor asked her publicist to start scouting locations for future photo-ops and she covered the walls of the stalker room in her attic with pictures of Bradley Cooper, because she wanted him to be her next trick. Yes, that means it's okay for moms everywhere to unchain their barely legal sons from the water heater in the garage, because Taylor is in the mood for older pieces now.
A source tells Radar that Taylor of Sluttybrook Farms asked Jennifer Lawrence to set her up with B. Coop. B. Coop has already said that if he was starting to grow pubes before you were born, he's not trying to date you. So when Jennifer Lawrence told B. Coop that Taylor wanted to date him, he shut The Squint down.
“Bradley has absolutely no intention of getting together with Taylor. First of all, her reputation precedes her. Bradley is very wary of dating someone who is a bit of a serial dater like Taylor. He thinks she’s far too young for him and wants to date someone his own age, not 16-years younger because he’s ready for something serious. It was a little awkward for Bradley . Jennifer came to him and told him that Taylor was interested in getting together. He had to politely decline, knowing full well that Jennifer and Taylor are friends. It was an ambitious move from Taylor, but she’s going to have fixate on someone else as Bradley’s just not that into her."
I know, this story is TOO true. I'm shocked it didn't come from CNN. But really, when Bradley Cooper banishes you from his presence it's time to re-train with your beard sensei Renee Zellweger or think long and hard about your future as a lifelong beard. Because damn, how the beard has fallen. Next thing you know, Taylor will be dating Richard Simmons (I hope this happens).
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Run Bradley run!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Taylor's publicist is frantically calling every single famous man they can think of. God forbid she is single for more than a week.
Ok, this is getting pathetic with her. She wouldn't know how to act around a mature man, much less talk to one.
Taylor Swyphilis is becoming worse than Parisite. Just settle down and call the Heisman trophy winner 20 year old Johnny Football or whatever he's named from Texas A&M. You know you wanna. And he probably has your CD in the pickup.
I don't think it's even possible for Emus and Giraffes to mate is it? Besides it's just too much of a mismatch, "Honey can you get me two plates!? "Ahh..suuurre"...now the Emu has to figure out how to grab two plates from a cupboard that's 16 feet off the ground.
I don't believe this one.
ooh a source. must be true. an unnamed source would never make stuff up
I always wanted to be the subject of a country western song.
"Just look at all the fucks I give!"
"Pete... I just wanted to jump on and tell you I'm really glad you're doin' okay."
"Is your name Michael Diamond?" "Naw, mine's Clarence..."
What are these girls, 14? Can you go ask Bradley how he feels about me and maybe let him know I want to bone him? KTHXBAI
Idiots.
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oh honey please PERISH the thought, Richard is WAY too good for her.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
I'm actually willing to give Taylor the benefit of the doubt, as I suspect that it's more likely that this story comes from Cooper's PR team who are trying to position him as a ladies man for all ages, sort of like George Clooney, as well as squashing those pesky gay rumors once and for all.
What's pathetic is having "your people" set up a date like some sort of pimp. I'm sure Taylor gave her publicist a note to pass Brad at recess that said "do you like me". This chick is so emotionally stunted it's crazy. I think someone yesterday mentioned Adele and her are a year apart, if that doesn't highlight how immature she is I don't know what does.
Ok, continually referring to him as "Bradley this" and "Bradley that" is dumb.
Maybe he wanted to distinguish against Brad Pitt but it's stupid. No-one is referred to as Bradley unless they are some kind of hair stylist or clothes designer or personal assistant to a clothes designer OHMYGODNO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Dark-sided!
Maybe Tommy Girl will hire her?