Shawn Holley Is Still Lindsay Lohan's Lawyer....For Now
Ever since that terrifying moment in court was captured in a picture, Shawn Holley can't move her eyeballs to the left without reaching for a rosary and a vial of holy water first. Shawn Holley didn't have to reach for the holy water in court this morning, because Lindsay Lohan was too busy stalking Max George's parents in England to show up.
As some of you read yesterday, Lindsay Lohan achieved high levels of dumbassery when she hired shady NYC lawyer Mark Heller and fired Shawn Holley without knowing that she fired Shawn Holley. LiLo is begging Shawn to take her back and Shawn is thinking about it. Shawn is still on record as being LiLo's lawyer, so she showed up in court today to answer to the criminal charge LiLo was slapped with for telling lies to the cops after crashing her Porsche into a semi. Shawn pleaded "not guilty" on LiLo's behalf and if she wasn't in court today, the judge would've issued a bench warrant for LiLo's arrest for not showing up this morning.
When the judge asked Shawn if she's still LiLo's attorney, she said, "At this point, yes." A hearing has been set for January 30th and LiLo must show her shellacked veal face in court.
TMZ says that yesterday the Santa Monica City Attorney and the judge in the case agreed to not send LiLo to the clink if she checked into lockdown rehab for at least six months. LiLo could also spend time in a jail cell for violating probation, but the judge was also willing to end that case too if she went to rehab. That deal never happened, because LiLo fired Shawn minutes before she was about to make it happen.
Why does the court even bother with this shit anymore? Lindsay Lohan is not going to see the inside of a jail cell and nothing's going to happen to her. The judge always says, "THIS BITCH IS GOING TO PRISON FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE!" and then nothing happens. It kind of reminds me of how my mom used to threaten to spank me when I acted the fool as a kid. She'd say, "I'm going to spank you!" and raise her hand, but nothing happened. Her hand would just stay raised. She later told me that her hand would get really heavy and she just couldn't bring herself to spank me even though my brat ass deserved it. Sometimes I'd get tired of waiting for her hand to come down, so I'd just slap myself.
So unless LiLo breaks into jail, goes into an empty cell, locks the door and then swallows the key with her snatch, she's not going to spend anytime in jail. But since the court insists on going through all these hearings, they should at least make it interesting by getting kittens to re-enact the proceedings. Or fucking something.


I would like to suggest that we stop talking about this ho until she either lands in jail or dies.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 3:36pm.
EWWWWWWWWWWWUH! I'm not ghey!
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Who said anything about ghey, honey? Now hold still honey so I can add some freckles to your shoulders with this red sharpie marker honey.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Alright, enough is enough. Enough mollycoddling this stupid little bitch; enough special legal deals, enough home arrest (where she can coke out, drink, order out pizza, etc), enough special treatment, enough spending 24 seconds in jail & then getting released, enough of her getting off lying to police by being sent to bed without milk & cookies, enough "you can go to rehab & we'll just forget about this" bullshit. Time to get tough with her. Rehab doesn't work on her, because she doesn't want to get rehabbed; she's already been through rehab what, 7 times already? She enjoys coking out & drinking like a fish. And, when she's in a lockdown rehab, she breaks out to go drinking, slugs the attendant on staff who is to turn her in & gets away with it. She has no respect for the law, for the court system, for judges, and will end up killing someone soon because she's a stupid dumbass. Enough is enough.
What this stupid little whore needs is a truly horrifying jail experience. The judge should throw her in jail, but no special treatment or separate jail cell; toss her stupid ass into general population. That's right, force her to mix in with and deal with the Gen Pop girls. They'll kick the shit out of her daily, ugly her up, steal her stuff, intimidate her, etc. What she needs is an experience so terrifying and traumatic that she's so scared of going back that she'll walk the straight & narrow. Scared straight is the ONLY thing that will work with this dumbass; anything else is a joke to her. Get tough with her; set her straight. Enough is enough.
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Submitted by MissAnnThrope on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 3:29pm.
the state court budget situation IS so bad here that branches of county courts are closing all over the state and court employees at all levels are being laid off by the hundreds. it is more cost effective for criminal cases to be resolved by plea than to hold court proceedings and trials
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by MissAnnThrope on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 3:37pm.
You know, pull an OJ or something.
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OJ was aquitted, in California of course.
Submitted by MissAnnThrope on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 3:37pm.
Another problem with Lindsay... she never does anything so BAD that there is no doubt she must serve time (yet). If she managed to really hurt or kill someone (God forbid) then, no doubt she would be prosecuted to the fullest extent. You know, pull an OJ or something. But she keeps on with these bullshit waste of time charges. They need to nail her on something big and quit teasing us that there is even a shade of a chance on jail
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Yeah but even OJ got away with murder.
I said it before, Blohan and her NY lawyer are smarter than we think. The letter firing Holley was planned to let Blohan stay in London and party. serving the letter the day prior to her hearing didn't allow it to be filed with the courts, so Holley is still on record as Blohans legal representative, so she legally has to show in court for her to enter a plea. (am I right Foxxy??)
The Cracken and her shady NY lawyer aren't stupid.
Extentions, extentions.....
So even if you have a court date you don't have to show up in person? Your lawyer can represent you?
Why does anyone show up for court then?
OT: Lisa Whelchel is on some show and she looks EXACTLY the same as she did 30 years ago. Maybe a smidge better. I know she's a crazy born-again, but hor looks good.
Another problem with Lindsay... she never does anything so BAD that there is no doubt she must serve time (yet). If she managed to really hurt or kill someone (God forbid) then, no doubt she would be prosecuted to the fullest extent. You know, pull an OJ or something. But she keeps on with these bullshit waste of time charges. They need to nail her on something big and quit teasing us that there is even a shade of a chance on jail
Submitted by suckandfuck on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 3:35pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 3:34pm.
And yet I can have ONE DRINK before bed and 10 hours later still be terrified to drive my car.
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M.E. if you learn to clean the carpet, you too can get away with wild freckled nights!!!
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EWWWWWWWWWWWUH! I'm not ghey!
EXCUSE ME MISS THORPE! California is NOT the place to go and break the law unless you are a celebrity. Us regular folk actually see the inside of a jail cell, get the fucking book thrown at us and have to pay for our crimes.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 3:34pm.
And yet I can have ONE DRINK before bed and 10 hours later still be terrified to drive my car.
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M.E. if you learn to clean the carpet, you too can get away with wild freckled nights!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Haha, now people are hating on the lawyer for doing what she's sworn an oath to do. This ain't the movies, chirrun, ain't no standing up shouting "You're out of order, you're out of order!!" They'd be repercusions and consequences to be had.
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fuck u dan snyder.
It makes me violent how this bitch keeps getting off on all her probation violations, keeps breaking the law without a fuck in the world and not a single GD thing is going to come of it.
And yet I can have ONE DRINK before bed and 10 hours later still be terrified to drive my car.
Submitted by MissAnnThrope on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 3:29pm.
I have days when I feel really sorry for Lindsay.
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Please reconsider. This brat doesn't deserve any sympathy.
Submitted by skinny fat on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 3:29pm.
Shawn Holley WANTS to be Lohan lawyer or she'd quit because she never gets paid. Do the judges and police and whatever other authorities involved in Lohan's misadventures ever get embarrassed by how ridiculous she makes them all look? Because she does make them look ridiculous, incompetent and foolish.
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YUP YUP YUP!
@Chewysmoky
Attention whoriness is a disease lol. La Holley has it!
Submitted by LaChaylo on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 3:26pm.
Bitch could probably commit first degree murder, and she'd still be sent to rehab.
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that's what i've been saying. this bitch could murder someone in broad daylight without provocation and shawn holley would STILL keep her ass out of jail.
Shawn Hollesbiany and Lindsay Lesbianahan have obviously been letting their pussy whiskers eskimo kiss!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
I have days when I feel really sorry for Lindsay. Today is one of them. Tomorrow I may be hating her stank ass. Her family, friends and lawyers probably feel the same too, so that's why this doesn't end with her in jail. Not to mention the California system is THE PLACE to go if you feel like breaking the law and not getting prosecuted! How and why that broke ass state keeps up the charade of dragging people through court ($$) only to have exactly nothing happen to them, boggles the mind. Close the jails( do they actually have anyone in jail?), close the courts, and just say fuck it already.
@ PSL -- i guess then you should also hate the federal and state constitution and state criminal justice system that permits both a prosecution and defense...? Lohan is getting ridiculous breaks vis a vis not having to make personal appearances and getting continuances due to her "work", but otherwise imo what is going on here goes on in pretty much every criminal case with charges of this nature in most huge county systems -- hearing set, continuance, repeat rinse because any party or the judge can cause continuances, defendant dissatisfied with lawyer blah blah there has to be some delay to work that out or get another lawyer, witness can't be found hearing continued, etc etc etc. imo this is the reality of a criminal prosectution with due process. no sympathy for this defendant but the way the c.j. system operates kinda is what it is
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Shawn Holley WANTS to be Lohan lawyer or she'd quit because she never gets paid. Do the judges and police and whatever other authorities involved in Lohan's misadventures ever get embarrassed by how ridiculous she makes them all look? Because she does make them look ridiculous, incompetent and foolish.
shallacked veal face *snort laff*
this is RE-DICK. Just read Chewinsmoke's story and now I'm so mad I could spit nails. this ain't fair - are we living in Bizarro World?
Does somebody know somebody that knows somebody that could fit Blohan for cement shoes? Toss her into the Hudson and be done with it.
Bitch could probably commit first degree murder, and she'd still be sent to rehab.
What the ever-loving FUCK is that judge thinking?
I guess we have to wait for karma to get the Freckled Snatcher, because justice is blindly bumbling up its own ass.
ETA: after reading Foxxy's post, I retract my statement about Holley sticking around for the attention. Her hands may be tied.
although, can't she just wave the "You're Fired" letter at the judge? I guess she is volunteering to stick around.
Submitted by Trixster on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 3:18pm.
Lohan looks like she smells bad in that picture. I would absolutely hate to be her lawyer.
HA HA - I know, right? She looks like she would have a horrendous case of halitosis every time she opened her baboon ass lips.
*throws up in mouth*
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
There's no need to keep Lindsay Lohan a client for years on end. She got all the publicity she needed the first time around with her. And Lindsay will probabaly Michael Jackson herself before paying her bills.
I think Shaw Holley needs some real therapy.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
Submitted by Happy Hour on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 3:15pm.
Holley does not give a shit she is not getting paid. She is getting lots of publicity and a write off...
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HH,
I don't disagree with you, but at what point does Holley finally say, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH?????? JFC, she's in court at least once a month for this dumb bitch trying to save her ass from going to jail for the multitude of crimes she commits. After a certain point, I know I would finally just say, "Fuck it, if I'm not going to get paid, I'm not doing this anymore." Holley is enabling her, just like her other 'handlers.'
Besides, Holley has received more than enough publicity out of her full time job being Lohan's lawyer. I know if I was ever in a jam in California, she would be at the top of my list to call for legal counsel.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
Foxxy, then fuck her.
I detest Shawn Holley for keeping Lohan out of jail and enabling her to potentially hurt people with her drugged up bullshit antics.
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Sometimes you kick, sometimes you get kicked
-INXS
Lohan looks like she smells bad in that picture. I would absolutely hate to be her lawyer.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 01/15/2013 - 3:11pm.
she had to. she's still counsel of record regardless of what is going on off record.
ETA: stuck many times with having to work for the nonpaying client until receiving court order permitting withdrawal. sucks.
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Holley does not give a shit she is not getting paid. She is getting lots of publicity and a write off...
Shawn you are not going to get to save this Ho. Lindsay is unsaveable.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
The important thing is that someone got to be the lawyer for both Son of Sam and Lindsay. I imagine this lawyer won't go broke if she doesn't get paid on time and it's probably amusing to her. If you were trying real cases all day this would be fun I guess.
http://13-mitred-abbots.tumblr.com/
we should start a petition, requesting that lindsay be euthanized in a public, and brutal, fashion, ALL WE NEED IS 25k siggys and to send it to the white house for acknowledgement.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
Poor Shawn Holley... she just can't get away from that trainwreck. I feel for her.
Yawn. Rinse and repeat. Yawn.
This bitch makes me crazy. When I got a DUI (my first and my last) seven years ago, I got my probation revoked because I missed TWO breathalyzers. The judge revoked my probation and I was sentenced to jail for an additional ten days (on top of the twenty I already had served). I got a lawyer, but it did me no good. All that did was cost me about $2,000 more and extend my probation for an additional year. Did I learn my lesson, however? FUCK YES.
This bitch skates all of the time. It's so damn irritating. I have NO IDEA why any judge thinks 'rehab' is going to work for this trick. It hasn't worked before, and it won't work now. LOCK THE BITCH UP. DO NOT PASS GO. DO NOT COLLECT $200. JFC!
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
If she pulled that shit with me, AND owed me 300,000 bucks, no way in HELL would I show up to plead for her sorry freckled ass.
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Sometimes you kick, sometimes you get kicked
-INXS
Booooooo. The NY lawyer had infinitely more entertainment value.
I feel cheated. :(
Shawn should let the NY lawyer sub in--he looks good for some laffs--then wait a year before suing Freckles for the outstanding bill. (You wait a year so the client can't sure for malpractice.)
I wouldn't want to bank on Linds' finding more sultans for income. Her acting career sure ain't going to provide it.
Obvious outcome is obvious...
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"Vanity’s a business built to fleece the unique. Silicone and stars collide. The rest will fall in line. Just as beautiful as you are, it’s so pitiful what you are.You should have seen this coming all along."
Shawn get out NOW while you can!! Her trouble with the law will never end, you're never gonna see a dime from Lindsay!!
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"Bye, Whore" -MK