Kim Kartrashian Wants You To Stop Joking About Her Joke Of A Second Marriage
The official ambassadors for fame whores were on Letterman last night to pimp out their show Kim & Kourtney Taint Miami, and of course David Letterman brought up her blink-and-you-missed-it marriage to the factory-defected animatronic Big Foot Harry that is Kris Humphries.
It's been over a year since Kim Kardashian read the words "stage direction - walk to courthouse, file for divorce" in her script and so Letterman asked her why the divorce is taking so long. While looking like a bloated Predator in a 2-star maitre d tuxedo, Kim told Letterman that her divorce is taking so long, because Kris is suing her for tricking him into marrying her ass for publicity. The slow one then piped in with a joke. Here's how the conversation went:
Dave: Now you, you're still married to your former husband, Kris Humpries? You're still married to him.
Kim: Yes, I am.
Dave: Now, when are you going to wrap that up?
Kim: Well, I'm trying, and it's a process and I've been trying for almost two years now, to um, to wrap it up, but it's, you know, it's hard.
Dave: I guess it's none of my business, but what does he want? Does he want his own show?
Kim: I can't speak for Kris, but I just want him to be happy and I want us to move on and that's really what I want, is just to move on.
Dave: Now again you don't have to do this, but when the divorce comes through, and he wants an annulment, is that right? Why an annulment, what's the difference?
Kim: I don't really know cause even if we got an annulment... I would love to give him one but then that would make...the only legal way to get an annulment is if fraud were involved, so that's what tricky. So he is suing me for an annulment based on the fact that I frauded him into marrying him for publicity.
Dave: So he's claiming that he was the victim of fraud?Kim: Yes, well, that's the only way to get an annulment is if one person was frauded, so that was, um, the case.
Dave: But fraud was not a factor here, is that right?
Kim: Not in my case, no.
Kourtney: I think if she was going to do it for publicity, she's pick someone that people knew.
Never mind that Pimp Mama Kris is totally going to pimp slap Kourtney Kardashian for making fun of her casting decisions, doesn't Kourtney realize that she's only famous because Ray J slapped Kim's ass with his neck pillow dick in front of a camera and because Ryan Seacrest fulfilled a favor he owed to Lucifer by putting them on basic cable?
Kim then told Letterman that people need to saying that they've let out farts that have lasted longer than her marriage, because she's still married!
Those jokes really can't work, because I've really been married for almost two years. . . . So it hasn’t been 72 days, it's been almost two years.
I just....can't. What do you even say to that? I'd blame it on pregnancy brain, but Kim didn't have a brain to begin with.
• 
@ bambam -- not SCTV, just Moranis himself. i'm going to spend a minute to see if i can find what i think i saw
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 4:35pm.
sucky, bring thuh cah 'round hyeh, boy..
*stops bbq'ing ribs for the real attorneys' luncheon, grabs coat, runs to the firm garage*
oh wait. you said "sucky." and "boy"
**goes back to grill, puts apron and head rag back on, picks up bbq tongs again**
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 4:15pm.
Kukai-manini: well obviously YOU are an attorney. Your research skills are exceptional. You care about bullshit no one else is really worried about. And your asshole nature shines through.
................................................
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out when you are being bullshitted.
Foxxy, not trying to shut you down, just not keen on someone who only speaks vaguely about their life trying to press others to qualify themselves.
ETA: Haven't heard this either about SCTV. One would hope though.
**************
fuck u dan snyder.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 4:29pm.
@ whamo and bambam,
i really think i saw something last year where Moranis said he was thinking about coming out and doing something in front of the camera. either of you recall that?
-------------------------------------------------
No I hadn't heard that, geez he's been retired for some time now I'd be surprised if he came back and did something. I was just watching some commentaries with Andrea and Catherine on a SCTV dvd and Andrea said she was trying to get Moranis to come out and do something but he was pretty adamant about staying retired, mind you who knows when the commentary was done. I guess you never say never
ha ha Sucky
LOL Jacko she's not BWITISH, love. no excuses
**************************
"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
sucky, bring thuh cah 'round hyeh, boy..
----------------------------------------------
" Can I wear the Scream mask? The mask from Scream... when I do you from behind..." ~ Kenny Powers
LOLOLL snowy but that's prop-uh engvish in Bvritain!
----------------------------------------------
" Can I wear the Scream mask? The mask from Scream... when I do you from behind..." ~ Kenny Powers
Kris musta been dead from the neck up if he didn't suspect Kim married him for publicity reasons, she lives for the camera (and knew people love a wedding almost as much as they love a baby, hello Kanye). those pics make me wanna punch pregnant women and old German ladies. schön hair Frau Kourtney.
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 4:27pm.
FYI one of the attorneys I work for just emailed me "can you please order lunch for Kathy and I"
then sashay away bitch lip synch for your life and don't fuck it up
/ is the Drag Race season premier tonight?
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by bambam on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 4:21pm.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 4:16pm.
------------------------
Fox, you know I lurves ya but what are you doing
=================================================
I along with damn near all of us here lurves ya Foxxy, I hope you know that. You needn't explain anything to anyone.
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 4:22pm.
------------------------------
Damn boredas, you said that about her, we got it. She appropriated it and used it talking to some OTHER person, otherwise she didn't reference you at all.
So why?
**************
fuck u dan snyder.
"yes boss right away, I'll have the limo take me to pick it up!"
-------------------------------------------------
Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
@ whamo and bambam,
i really think i saw something last year where Moranis said he was thinking about coming out and doing something in front of the camera. either of you recall that?
OT: Letterman needs the ratings
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Thanks, Bossy, seriously.
FYI one of the attorneys I work for just emailed me "can you please order lunch for Kathy and I"
**************************
"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
i know who said what the other day. she's riding the train you drove out of the station
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
bambam with all respect your shut down effort should be directed elsewhere. but i understand what you are saying
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by guest on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 4:18pm.
Whamo...baha. Does it haunt ur dreams? I'm just waiting for the next atrocious pic. It's only a matter of time. lol
------------------------------------------------It catches my eye everytime that's for sure.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 4:16pm.
============================================
LOL, don't even bother Foxxy.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 4:16pm.
gladys, you are really grasping at straws today. lmfao!!
yep. you got me. i'm just a lip smackin' neck weavin' finger poppin' liar from the bottom part of the south ghetto [you know, the part right offa MLK Blvd. next to the county jail.]
_____________________________________
Actually I said all that about the lip smackin neck bobbin, to you, not the other bitch. For being an attorney you'd think you'd be a little better at remembering things. PS: Every state has an MLK BLVD and popeyes is fucking delicious.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Vanity’s a business built to fleece the unique. Silicone and stars collide. The rest will fall in line. Just as beautiful as you are, it’s so pitiful what you are.You should have seen this coming all along."
oh yeah like anyone listens to a limousine liberal!!!
-------------------------------------------------
Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
and at the gas station how do i know who is a republican? from the salty tear marks still streaming down their faded McCain/Palin and Romney/Ryan bumper stickers left over from when their heads were up against the bumpers trying to suck their tailpipes
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 4:16pm.
------------------------
Fox, you know I lurves ya but what are you doing? More importantly, what does SHE do for a living? Ya feel me?
**************
fuck u dan snyder.
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 4:11pm.
Re: "I think if she was going to do it for publicity, she's pick someone that people knew."
It didn't matter if people knew him or not (obviously!).
The wedding wasn't about them. It was to showcase KIM in a WEDDING for her REALITY SHOW. And to get lots of MONEY and GIFTS.
Kris was only there because she needed someone to marry.
(And let's not pretend he didn't know this.)
////////////////////////////////////////////
agree.
she hooked up with him (and there were rumors her people were looking into other athletes willing to take the bait) right after her breakup from Reggie. How could she love him enough, after a month, to wed him? Love of money, yes, love of selling her show, yes.
**************************************************
And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
These hookers obviously learned nothing from Mr-if-I-did-it-Simpson. Truthful, honest people don't generally offer up alternate scenarios for what they "would do IF" they were lying or they were "frauding" somebody.
Dishonest people HAVE TO think up scenarios for what they would do IF were telling the truth--it's a required part of the deception game.
*(based on my general observations while living on the planet with other human beings and many hours of true life crime show watching).
But Kourtney has a college degreeeeee!
******************
"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
Does anyone remember why she filed for divorce in the first place? I can't. "Irreconcilable differences, right?"
Whamo...baha. Does it haunt ur dreams? I'm just waiting for the next atrocious pic. It's only a matter of time. lol
******************
"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 4:0
==============================================
LOL, she was great when she did her talk show characters.
Foxxy, ho'd up... Popeyes has wings?
----------------------------------------------
" Can I wear the Scream mask? The mask from Scream... when I do you from behind..." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 4:15pm.
FUKKEN BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!
----------------------------------------------
" Can I wear the Scream mask? The mask from Scream... when I do you from behind..." ~ Kenny Powers
gladys, you are really grasping at straws today. lmfao!!
yep. you got me. i'm just a lip smackin' neck weavin' finger poppin' liar from the bottom part of the south ghetto [you know, the part right offa MLK Blvd. next to the county jail.] when i want to come on dlisted to lie about myself i go to a gas station, jack up a republican, steal their car, drive to the suburbs to steal a hard working white person's wi fi. oh i stop at Popeye's to grab me a wing or two for the ride. congratulations on exposing me!!
here's an anthem that you can use at the start, middle and end of your parade of self-satisfaction and triumph:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGJgyuAu6eo
/seriously lmfao
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Damn guys, I gotta load up a flash player, I'm missing all the good clips.
"OWwoooooooooo! Ooooo boys and girls, that was pretty scarrry huh? Heheheheheh." lols
**************
fuck u dan snyder.
Kukai-manini: well obviously YOU are an attorney. Your research skills are exceptional. You care about bullshit no one else is really worried about. And your asshole nature shines through.
**************************
"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
Submitted by Kukai-manini on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 3:57pm.
According to the Internet, at least half the Web is made up of very successful lawyers, models and doctors.
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Kourtney: I think if she was going to do it for publicity, she's pick someone that people knew.
/////////////////////////////////////
and that's why her wedding was broadcast on your dumb ass show too, I figure.
where to begin?
**************************************************
And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
Divorce = bastards = hell is inevitable = you!
Dominus Vobiscum, shitheads...
Signed,
jacks-smoke-n-crack, Esq.
Attorney in FACT,
GFYPBQ, Inc.
----------------------------------------------
" Can I wear the Scream mask? The mask from Scream... when I do you from behind..." ~ Kenny Powers
Re: "I think if she was going to do it for publicity, she's pick someone that people knew."
It didn't matter if people knew him or not (obviously!).
The wedding wasn't about them. It was to showcase KIM in a WEDDING for her REALITY SHOW. And to get lots of MONEY and GIFTS.
Kris was only there because she needed someone to marry.
(And let's not pretend he didn't know this.)
@ Bammer & Foxxy.....
The Shmenges Brothers...I mean come on!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5k884as0-3s
Submitted by Kukai-manini on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 3:57pm.
Foxxy:
I try to give people the benefit of the doubt when they state things about themselves, even on the internet, but I just don't think you are an attorney.
Perhaps a file clerk or court reporter or even straightening and dusting the law library books in a firm, BUT that is it.
You have zero reading skills and intellect and there is no way you could have studied law, much less pass a bar exam....total bullshit.
Your previous postings also leave a trail of not being an attorney. You recently interviewed for a federal job and got dismissed when they found out you had a record?
You must think everyone on here is just as dumb as you are
---------------------------------------------
I don't know if Foxxy is an attorney or not but I don't understand why people think being an attorney is all that impressive anymore (and/or think it's something worth lying about.) Do you know how many braindead losers I know who were able to somehow become an attorney? If you can graduate college you can attend and make it through law school.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 3:58pm.
-------------------------------
With the big padded shoulders!!! She would break her fucking neck trying to light some chick's ciggie!
Aw man, where I grew up there were a lot of Catholic organizations, I saw a lot of women looked like that. I would just die watching her.
**************
fuck u dan snyder.
@ whamo and bambam --
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baS86od5Rtg
"oh you're using it again?" lmao
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by bambam on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 3:51pm.
Foxxy, Whamo
ETA: Her butch lesbian character...
==========================================
Wearing a polyester leisure suit and she'd sit with her legs open like a guy. Bawahaaaaa!
here's one for you, not a lesbian but damn funny
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcsIH_los_o
OMG.....my head feels like it's going to explode whenever I see this bitch whore family. WHY MUST THEY EXIST?????? I hate you just as much Gaycrest.
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Hekki - perfect description of their voices. Yeah, they were on the Today show yesterday promoting their show (?), but that's when I heard Kim making up some shit about fertility problems to justify her out of wedlock while still married pregnancy. Ugh. it's just too much.
Foxxy:
I try to give people the benefit of the doubt when they state things about themselves, even on the internet, but I just don't think you are an attorney.
Perhaps a file clerk or court reporter or even straightening and dusting the law library books in a firm, BUT that is it.
You have zero reading skills and intellect and there is no way you could have studied law, much less pass a bar exam....total bullshit.
Your previous postings also leave a trail of not being an attorney. You recently interviewed for a federal job and got dismissed when they found out you had a record?
You must think everyone on here is just as dumb as you are.
On topic: Letterman is just a pathetic as the K sisters.
I think this interview was the best from Letterman. He loves making people feel ill at ease, but this was gold:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxMcHunIo14
**************************************************
And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
Kourtney: I think if she was going to do it for publicity, she's pick someone that people knew.
//////////////////////////////////////////
like someone with talent?
what a stupid, stupid statement coming from them. she's second hand famous now from a porn video her sister got pissed on. really.
I hope that meathead wins his case. which other famous man or celeb would have been dumb enough to marry her after dating her for a month. They had never even met before. Clearly it was a stunt for publicity and now she regrets it and wants to move on from that. Not so easy.
**************************************************
And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
Submitted by tinyhands on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 3:35pm.
Hey Whamo
it's funny because it's true! :D
---------------------------------------------
It would be hard to find any cucumbers in you prison salad and if you did it would cum with little hairs and the "dressing" already on it.