Kim Kartrashian Wants You To Stop Joking About Her Joke Of A Second Marriage

The official ambassadors for fame whores were on Letterman last night to pimp out their show Kim & Kourtney Taint Miami, and of course David Letterman brought up her blink-and-you-missed-it marriage to the factory-defected animatronic Big Foot Harry that is Kris Humphries.

It's been over a year since Kim Kardashian read the words "stage direction - walk to courthouse, file for divorce" in her script and so Letterman asked her why the divorce is taking so long. While looking like a bloated Predator in a 2-star maitre d tuxedo, Kim told Letterman that her divorce is taking so long, because Kris is suing her for tricking him into marrying her ass for publicity. The slow one then piped in with a joke. Here's how the conversation went:

Dave: Now you, you're still married to your former husband, Kris Humpries? You're still married to him.

Kim: Yes, I am.

Dave: Now, when are you going to wrap that up?

Kim: Well, I'm trying, and it's a process and I've been trying for almost two years now, to um, to wrap it up, but it's, you know, it's hard.

Dave: I guess it's none of my business, but what does he want? Does he want his own show?

Kim: I can't speak for Kris, but I just want him to be happy and I want us to move on and that's really what I want, is just to move on.

Dave: Now again you don't have to do this, but when the divorce comes through, and he wants an annulment, is that right? Why an annulment, what's the difference?

Kim: I don't really know cause even if we got an annulment... I would love to give him one but then that would make...the only legal way to get an annulment is if fraud were involved, so that's what tricky. So he is suing me for an annulment based on the fact that I frauded him into marrying him for publicity.

Dave: So he's claiming that he was the victim of fraud?Kim: Yes, well, that's the only way to get an annulment is if one person was frauded, so that was, um, the case.

Dave: But fraud was not a factor here, is that right?

Kim: Not in my case, no.

Kourtney: I think if she was going to do it for publicity, she's pick someone that people knew.

Never mind that Pimp Mama Kris is totally going to pimp slap Kourtney Kardashian for making fun of her casting decisions, doesn't Kourtney realize that she's only famous because Ray J slapped Kim's ass with his neck pillow dick in front of a camera and because Ryan Seacrest fulfilled a favor he owed to Lucifer by putting them on basic cable?

Kim then told Letterman that people need to saying that they've let out farts that have lasted longer than her marriage, because she's still married!

Those jokes really can't work, because I've really been married for almost two years. . . . So it hasn’t been 72 days, it's been almost two years.

I just....can't. What do you even say to that? I'd blame it on pregnancy brain, but Kim didn't have a brain to begin with.

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by TexnDoc on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:30pm.

I love Jennifer Saunders who wrote for her Patsy: "Oh God, Kardashians are just like herpes. You think they're gone and they just multiply."

She's looking very Chaz Bono-ish, BTW. That svelte 300 pound figure.

Submitted by Lisbet459 on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:28pm.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 2:31pm.
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I'm not a Catholic, but I live in a very, very Catholic country and one entire side of my family is Catholic. I also have an uncle who is a priest.

From what I can tell, you can get an annulment even if children were conceived within the marriage. This can be from something like one or both parties being too young, or one or both parties being coerced into it in some way.

But, like I say, I'm not Catholic, and I'd love to hear from someone who knows about this stuff.

Submitted by guest on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:26pm.

She looks like sponge bob square pants in a tux with a butt.

******************

"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:24pm.

anno - you shut your dicksucker!! seriously?? Of course, I was denied in 1999... Maybe that was something that changed with the Y2K project lol...

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" Can I wear the Scream mask? The mask from Scream... when I do you from behind..." ~ Kenny Powers

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:20pm.

I saw an old picture of the Piss Whore and she looked straight out of Asia Minor but now she is looking quite Japanese porn star.

I apologize to Japanese porn stars.

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Submitted by SarahR. on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:18pm.

Someone send her a gift certificate to A Pea in the Pod, damn! She looks HUGE.

Submitted by PinkPostIt on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:16pm.

Damn, these 2 are so fucking retarded!

Kourtney: I think if she was going to do it for publicity, she's pick someone that people knew.

It was for the wedding, not publicity for Kris.

Fucking retards!

Submitted by britmachine on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:16pm.

Being a big fat fattie myself, I just have to giggle at the site of Kim K shoving herself into a white, button-down dress shirt--the type of shirt I've searched for for ages and ages to wear to work--and I could never find one that fit right. This has made me an expert in the area, and I am willing to bet that that shirt is easily an XXL. Now maybe it's been custom-tailored cuz she's rich and she can afford a personal tailor to follow her around and hem her clothing in such a way that conforms exactly to her body, but if it were an off-the-rack dress shirt that she bought at Target, Sears, or some other classy place like that, I would bet you it would be an XXL.
So I will laugh merrily at this and my chins will jiggle with glee, and I will have another bite of this warm apple pie smothered in delicious onion gravy.

Submitted by Jewslim on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:15pm.

Kim Kim Kim....Every life form in the universe knows, that only Rojo Caliente can pull this look off. How dare you try to ride her coat tails, you worthless concubine of Lucifer!

Submitted by bambam on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:13pm.

@ Whamo,

Just the best show there ever was. I mean that, even without the weed.

**************
fuck u dan snyder.

Submitted by Bossy on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:11pm.

Frauded is not a word. And you know that bitch got married for publicity and he was just too dumb to realize it at the time. He seems a bit dense, as we've all observed. She keeps milking the whole divorce/annulment thing anyway, so it's probably to her benefit to keep it going forever too.

Submitted by annobanano on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:11pm.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 2:31pm.

In my experience the only reason they usually do not grant an annulment is if you conceived and had a child during the course of your marriage (this may be some shit that only applies to Catholics which is nothing like real laws on the books in case you're stupid). You see, I'm an attorney so I'm well versed in this shit...

Nope. Know many Catholics with kids that were granted annulments.

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:10pm.

LOL at that outfit.

______________________________________________

A Lannister always pays his debts.

Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:09pm.

They both need to be "blowed up real good" just the The Farm Report on SCTV

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bda_eIX3J2Y

Submitted by Meatblocks on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:08pm.

first, dave's a douche, a desperate douche, for having them on.
2nd, that's all i give a fuck to say/think about this dumb shit.

*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*

Submitted by ethang on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:08pm.

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 2:21pm.
Who is dressing this blow up doll nowadays??
________________________________________

I'm sure Kanye is behind all of it.

Submitted by nosybeaach on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:07pm.

Why can't these slow hags just go away. She can't even speak English. Did she say "frauded" him into marriage? That's not even a word! This skank ho is so stupid, I think they are both "the slow ones".

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:06pm.

Thank you, counselor... we are under oath. Please take note.

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" Can I wear the Scream mask? The mask from Scream... when I do you from behind..." ~ Kenny Powers

Submitted by Doll-Parts on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:06pm.

Defrauded is the word, not "frauded." But what else do you expect....

*"Honey, your reputation is SHIT in this town."*

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:05pm.

LMAO at sucky...

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" Can I wear the Scream mask? The mask from Scream... when I do you from behind..." ~ Kenny Powers

Submitted by bambam on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:07pm.

Some guy wrote that some things just go together naturally, like peanut butter and jelly or the Kardassians and the degradation of american society. So true.

**************
fuck u dan snyder.

Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:03pm.

Submitted by ewesocrazy on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 2:30pm.
Is "frauded" even a word?
============================================
I think defrauded is as close as you're going to get on that one lol!!

What a fuckin tard she is!

Submitted by suckandfuck on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:03pm.

My partner in law is absolutely correct on every legal level ever imagined!!!!

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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.

Submitted by chewinsmoke on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:02pm.

"The slow one..." I fucking LOVE that comparison to Kourtney. It's soooooo true.

Nevertheless, Kim is DELUSIONAL if she truly believes that the world doesn't think she married Kris Humphries for anything BUT publicity. That disgusting monster wedding proves it. 72 days before you file for divorce after making a shit ton of money off of that fiasco? Bitch, please.

You know, I know I'm not perfect, but it would be a cold day in hell before I allowed myself to get knocked up by my boyfriend when I was still married to my husband. It's beyond disgusting and so fucking tacky.

"My pug is smarter than your honor student."

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:01pm.

"the only legal way to get an annulment is if fraud were involved, so that's what tricky."

Horse. Shit.

An annulment is a declaration that the marriage did not, in fact, happen, exist, she was a bitch, or otherwise take place, more than likely because she cheated, stole yo fridge and left you to be happier than shit the rest of your life... I digress. If you have a child in a legitimate marriage, otherwise know as not a little bastard, then you cannot necessarily deny the marriage occurred because you have the little shit (aka opposite of bastard) standing right there which is proof the two yoots were clearly, and in fact, moreover married within thereforto not lacking proof of which the marriage took place and furthermore no grounds, basis or sane fucking logic that the aforementiioned previously stated did not occur. So Kim's a liar. *yells for bailiff*

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" Can I wear the Scream mask? The mask from Scream... when I do you from behind..." ~ Kenny Powers

Submitted by ewesocrazy on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 1:00pm.

Is "frauded" even a word?

Submitted by misslainey on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 12:57pm.

I think I speak for the world: This bitch!

Submitted by KG on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 12:54pm.

That outfit is doing Kim zero favors. Didn't she used to be a stylist? Ugh.

Submitted by Doll-Parts on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 12:51pm.

I will not watch this. I hate baby slut voices.

*"Honey, your reputation is SHIT in this town."*

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 12:51pm.

Who is dressing this blow up doll nowadays?? At least in the past she used to dress pretty well. She looks awful all the damn time lately. I guess weekly gang bangs in hell with her sisters, Satan, Caligula, Genghis Khan and the Marquis de Sade will take its toll on a bitch's fashion sense.

Submitted by suckandfuck on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 12:51pm.

STOP MAKING JOKES YOU...YOU.....COMEDIAN!! honey if you're looking for a lack of jokes, go on Leno next time.

Submitted by ewe on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 12:50pm.

See, I firmy believe this is nature's revenge on us for slowly destroying the earth.

Submitted by vsminimoose on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 12:49pm.

It's one thing to have a sense of humor about yourself and the crappy situations we can get ourselves into but this is just demented and sick.

We get that you're reality stars but is nothing sacred? Is it fun to now make jokes on TV about your shitty life and shitty decisions?

They just don't get it.

Submitted by miz cynical on Thu, 01/17/2013 - 12:49pm.

1) How do you decide which one is the slow one, MK? The slow one's got a lot of fucking nerve making fun of someone. Yes, it was a fraud. The whole situation was a fraud and now you're all doing a PR tour to take away from the fact that the world is finally starting to realize what whores all of you are!

2) I FUCKING HATE those sanboots monstrosities. But I still hate the person wearing them more.

3) UGH! Just fucking, UGH! I feel like it's some reality show phenomenon - when reality show stars start going through a divorce, they manage to create some weird relationship math where they count the time that they've actually separated and filed divorce paperwork as part of their marriage. Kim is a perfect example. See also - NeNe from RHOA and Tamra from RHOC.

4) This bitch. She was also on the Today show making up some shit about fertility issues that made me want to kick her right in the baby maker. I know that's atrocious, but when she started making up that shit, she got on my LAST nerve.