Open Post: Hosted By Ashlee Simpson's Triumphant Return To Music
I haven't felt this excited about an artist's grand return since Kate Bush released Aerial. (On a possibly related note: today is unofficially International Sarcasm Day.)
After taking a long break from failing at lip-synching and being the American Avril Lavigne, Ashlee Simpson is back with a song about fucking you up and twisting you inside of her head. Or something like that. Listening to the song will leave cuts on the inside of your ears, but that's only because it's so damn edgy. Ashlee earned herself a hyphen, because not only does she "sing," but she also stands on pointe shoes and rolls around on a leather couch.
If you really don't want to put yourself through Ashlee's song, put this video on mute and pretend it's a soft-core art porn from 2007 starring Chrissy Crocker.
via ONTD
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Submitted by Meatblocks on Sun, 01/20/2013 - 6:47pm.
thank you for sharing that story. no words.
good staht for the fawking Pahhts so far! and did ray lewis look psychotic in that prekickoff shot or what?! was that fucker trying to speak in tongues or something????!!!!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sun, 01/20/2013 - 4:04pm.
that's a good a reason as any (that (you think) we'd be the easier route to the win), to root for the pahhhhts.
the ship (terri lei) went down in 1992 off the carolinas at the end of the season that also took the andrea gail and is interlinked with that ship for another reason and that is that the captain of the terri lei had turned down that doomed excursion (of the andrea gail) and it's written about in "the perfect storm) and the captain (of the t.l.) was my (close relative) and a heckuva character.
it's not hell now but it was then and the worst of it was never knowing. there was alwayyyys the possibility/desperate hope (for almost a week) that they'd survived, somehow. then there were the services, much later, held without bodies & held against the nature of hope.
wasn't the weather that took the terri lei, it was a panamanian banana boat, took her down in it's unmarked fishing line. may have been some fault on the part of the captain of the t.l., will never be sure. the laws prevented repercussion and the p.b.b. did not stay around to be investigated. all that was left was a few pieces of debris.
his kid (who was a baby at the time) grew up to be a great one and i guess/am certain that's the most that matters.
thanks for the opportunity to talk about him. i was young (back in my yugo days) and he was the fuckin coolest. he partied like a rock star, looked like robert plant & had the best looking women(and drama).
GO PAHHHHHHTS!!!!!!!!!!!
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
this song is so awful it makes me sad. but it makes me even sadder that this young woman has a child waiting at home for her to get done singing about "fucking" someone up while rolling around in a soft core mess. sigh.
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
Submitted by Meatblocks on Sun, 01/20/2013 - 3:55pm.
lol, yeah that's what i planned that's the ticket!
sorry for your loss, that must have been/is pure hell.
no offense but i despise your team and the Ravens one so i'm hoping for a meteor shower to hit the 50 yard line during the pregame warm up. other than that, i guess today i'm rooting for your team ;-) only because IF the Niners defense manages to pull their heads out of their asses and get this game under control so the MVP can win the game, the Niners won against the Pahhhhts already this season...
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sun, 01/20/2013 - 1:01pm
i love that you said "glouchester", that sorta encompasses everything between dorchester and gloucester -and the answer to that'd be yes, those is where i was from.
"welkahhhh" and the "pahhhhts" will get it done tonight, who you hopin for?
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
kikichanel, haha just watched Airplane. Old-school. I'm looking for these exercise DVD's now. Thanks TR for the info.
@VOB, you still auto-correcting to Greek? hahaha Settings>General>International>Language How did you get that changed VOB? LOL
@MK, leave the time, leave the time. :p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Michael K on Sun, 01/20/2013 - 11:43am.
Submitted by Esteem on Sat, 01/19/2013 - 2:53pm.
I don't know if your ass is looking in here anymore, but I think I finally fixed the clock! I'm a programming genius! Get me a job at Apple!
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Nope, if you get a job at Apple, who would I read? I need your funny ass, now, get back to blogging!
p.s. Thanks! ;-)
ETA: If you're converting from GMT - PST is -8, I think. /shrug I know your programmer can fix it in the redesign, we appreciate you looking at it though!
" @ kiki -- aha, you did not see yoga on that list! LOL but, attending fitness conferences i became impressed with Lawrence Biscontini: http://www.findlawrence.com/ i am not a yoga person, but i LOVED his sessions at the conferences. one of his dvds is gathering dust in my collection"
HAHA! Thanks Foxxy.
I'm strictly a hockey fan but I feel you about pregame nervous. I nearly knocked a friend on her ample ass for pointing to my red toe nails and saying 'Oh you're rooting for the Caps (the asshole knows full well I root for the Bruins) Caps! Caps! Caps!' It's a testament to my self control that I didn't put my painted toe nails up her backside.
I then ran home and painted my toe nails black.
***************
It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
@ Dog - i really really hope that she does not really sing like Vivian Vance. egads. thanks for the explanation [goes to the google to see which denominations use "ministry"]
@ VOB -- thanks, and i love chowdah but hate the fucking Pahhhhts and Welkah. surprised you're on already -- thought you'd be knocked out until later ;-P
off to store before game. last week there was so much red and gold in the store it looked like Candlestick Park up in there. today should be awesome!! back later
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
OMG, the Kardashians got swatted????? I hate the assholes who do this crap because it's so dangerous but still. They've nailed two of the biggest douchenozzles in Hollywood: Asston Crotcher and the Lesbeaver, and now the Kardashians???
BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
ETA: Bruce Jenner's outfit cements his place in the Lesbian Hall of Shame.
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/kim-kardashian-parents-victim-s...
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Sun, 01/20/2013 - 1:41pm.
@ Dog - hahahahahahahahaa, omg i swear i get a mental image of Ethel Merman every time you mention the claw-in-law. right now it's Ethel Merman howling "give my regards to broadway" in church. lmao
what do you do when you "serve?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Try Ethel Mertz.
I serve in the music ministry - the choir. Nothing special. My husband is in the media ministry - sound technician in the booth and sometimes a camera man.
ETA: when you participate in a ministry, it's called "serving".
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Gloucester Foxxy... If you ever get a chance, it's a beautiful place.
I'll spot for some chowda on tha haabaa
@ Dog - hahahahahahahahaa, omg i swear i get a mental image of Ethel Merman every time you mention the claw-in-law. right now it's Ethel Merman howling "give my regards to broadway" in church. lmao
what do you do when you "serve?"
and, best avi ever!! i loved the little white dog of the past few days but this one is just precious
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Hi Foxxy. Just got back from church. I didn't serve today so I sat with the in-laws. Having to endure The Claw howl her way through praise and worship made me thankful I'm normally up on the platform and not hearing her.
*shoves Job over on the "patience" bench*
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
@ kiki -- aha, you did not see yoga on that list! LOL but, attending fitness conferences i became impressed with Lawrence Biscontini: http://www.findlawrence.com/ i am not a yoga person, but i LOVED his sessions at the conferences. one of his dvds is gathering dust in my collection
here are some other fitness professionals i really like. most of them do all genres -- some have mass market infomercials and do tv appearances others are best known within the fitness industry: Victoria Johnson, Rob Glick, Jay Blahnik, Manuel Velazquez, Irene McCormack, Nancy Gitlin, Greg Sims
*nervous and it's still about 2 hours bef gametime*
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Who the hell is MK doing a cock test on? How the fuck do you test a cock anyway?
Nevermind, I don't wanna know. ;P
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fuck u dan snyder.
Hey Foxxy!
LOL at the exercise DVDs. I understand it though. I definitely would say I've had the most success with the JM ones.
Any good suggestions on yoga DVDs? I do one OnDemand and I like it, but I think I should probably mix it up.
I was so depressed about my iPod. That's the one thing that would really get to me during the zombie apocalypse; no music. Also not looking forward to shelling the cash for a new one, although I should be thankful that I can afford it. I just wasn't anticipating it.
***************
It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
@ wini -- oh good, glad for her. please let us know when your guy checks in
thanks for the JM advice -- her program seems really good and doable if one commits, and a lot of people are doing it - lot of people with whom to discuss techniques/progress. but i should be 5150'ed if i ever purchase another fitness dvd, lol. i was a volunteer group ex instr at a YMCA [step, cardiokick, conditioning, aqua], i have dvd's for every genre. and they are gathering dust in the entertainment center next to the dusty spider web covered fitness equip ;-P
@meatblocks -- are you in Glouchester area (sp)?
GO ------!!
ETA: clock problem (2:50-ish off) did not change for me, MK
hi kiki, hi dog
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
"Submitted by Michael K on Sun, 01/20/2013 - 11:43am.
Submitted by Esteem on Sat, 01/19/2013 - 2:53pm.
I don't know if your ass is looking in here anymore, but I think I finally fixed the clock! I'm a programming genius! Get me a job at Apple!"
Shit, I thought I was the only obsessive-compulsive bothered by the clock issue. Now if you can fix my suddenly broken iPod, I will truly be impressed, MK.
***************
It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
Submitted by Michael K on Sun, 01/20/2013 - 11:43am.
Submitted by Esteem on Sat, 01/19/2013 - 2:53pm.
I don't know if your ass is looking in here anymore, but I think I finally fixed the clock! I'm a programming genius! Get me a job at Apple!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Pffffft. Honey, get my claw-in-law to shut her pie hole for more than three minutes and then I'll be impressed.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Thanks, guys. She heard from her husband this morning. Their main went down but they managed to limp into St. Paul. Hurricane winds were forecasted so we were all a bit nervous.
((Meatblocks))
*because i can't resist a clock test*
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
I thought the wrong clock was part of dlisted's charm.
Close enough, now let's wait until tonight, Michael K. lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Winniwins, *positive thoughts and good vibes to you and everyone out at sea right now*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Clock test.
ETA: Close enough! haha
Submitted by Esteem on Sat, 01/19/2013 - 2:53pm.
Shit, it's off by 7 minutes. Oh well, that has to be a metaphor for something.
Submitted by Esteem on Sat, 01/19/2013 - 2:53pm.
I don't know if your ass is looking in here anymore, but I think I finally fixed the clock! I'm a programming genius! Get me a job at Apple!
@Foxxy and @UBF- Jillian's DVDs are excellent. Definitely worth the $$. It made a huge difference for me - I've fairly slim but have a naturally straight/thick waist. It helped with definition not just in my waist but all over. I lost inches and was very happy with the results. I still do her DVDs.
As for going from level 1 to level 2, I think she recommends after 10 days, but since most people aren't going to do it every day, maybe after three weeks? Maybe try level 2 and see how it goes. In the beginning, I'd go back and forth between 1 an 2 while I got my endurance up before making the full switch.
In other news, I'm watching 'Billy Elliot'. I love this movie.
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
Submitted by winniwins on Sun, 01/20/2013 - 4:52am.
my hat's off & over heart for all that set out and for all that wait. -making a living off/out of wide open seas is a brutal world.
this year/next month marks the 23rd for us that grieve forevermore for our precious ones that the atlantic'll never return.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
Manfred Mann for HSOTD!
(((winni)))
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...the end
Hi All! Checking the D after a brutal phone call from another fisher wife. Can't go back to sleep.
Foxxy- go -------! They've got it, girl!
On fitness- started doing Barre3 last month. If you don't know what it is 'google' there may be one in your area. I'm loving it. Especially after lifting. Everything pops, realigns, and lengthens.
VOB- We always miss each other these days but you are in my thoughts.
Please- I've been a Bering Sea wife for ten years now and a friends husband isn't responding. I can't get a dial on my husband either but that's normal. Positive thoughts, please!
http://www.wunderground.com/MAR/PK/410.html
Hey All:
Broke the bulb in my bedside lamp, so I'm back up.
VOBat: morphine! yay! I love it but it gives me the itches. It didn't used to, but the last time I was in the hospital I was a dreadful scratching mess, on top of everything else, I suppose they will put you on oral medication now? how many fingers am i holding up?
WR: Jillian Michaels is this boot camp style trainer, and the 30 day shred is one of her popular DVDs. She has a tendency to get a little...intense. The style is circuit training - strength moves, cardio and ab work. Do it all again, twice, all in 20 minutes. That;s the nice part - it's over before you can begin to really feel like giving up, and you DO see results. I just do it when I am in the mood, as I am working out at a gym now. Yoga, daily, has been much more helpful, for me personally, though.
aahh, movies! I just watched a documentary on the making of the Rolling Stones album "Exile on Main Street", and yesterday's film du jour was a comedy starring Chris Rock and Julie Delphy, called "Two Days In New York." It was charming in many spots, although something about the editing was uneven. :) Had to throw some film school ish in there.
Okay - switch the bulb, try again.
Good night, peoples!
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God don't like ugly.
Hi Foxxy, TR, you still here? How are you doing? What's a JM workout by the way? And LOL, of course the tight pants and packages are the whole point of the sport, ahahaha
Lucy♡, how did your trip go? So true, haven't seen you at all this year! What is up with that? Paris and London? All this travel sounds so exciting. Have a good flight tomorrow. :P
Submitted by suckandfuck on Sat, 01/19/2013 - 10:45pm.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA but honey, Grindr's not for truck drivers!!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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VOB, hellloooooooooooooooooooo! So glad you stopped in! Even if you're on a magical mystery tour. lol Was just wondering how your operation went. Sounds like they're giving you the works VOB. If you have to go back, get 'er done and get it all out! Sent you the best looking doc, hope the eye candy helped cheer you up some! hahaha ;)
@Boredas, don't wait, have this looked at as soon as you can. Better to be sure it's not something really serious than wait and regret it.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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good night sweet bat! i'm not predicting super bowl do NOT want to jinx my team
;-P
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Foxxy.. It's the synthetic kind.. Days of magical mystery tour drugs are over.. But I. was unusually kind to people..lol... They like me better when I don't speak;)
Doc as mentioned earlier was so beautiful with great eyes and a hand holder.. I was a happy girl.. Talk to you tomorrow.. Xoxoxoxo... B
Hi T.R. if you're still around ;-)
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Foxxxy.. If you are still here.. Who is going to the Super Bowl? I thought Stoney was
Calling me out... Bat brain on drugs... Lmao...
@ Bat -- information is progress, now they know what they're working with. step one done, we're with you on step two ;-) all good here thx for asking
the one time i was on morphine it didn't work for me - excruciating experience. glad it works for you!!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Drugs first.. Yes.. Have enough to keep me from stabbing myself with a fork to see if I'm done.. Was on synthetic morphine for two days and could read posts .. And laugh at all the comments.. Mostly slept..16 hours straight. Good news bad news good news... They were able to see the mass but I have to go back in for another surgery.
Good news there will be more morphine... ;). How are you ?
crash on Bat - we can talk tomorrow. i'm watching the games at home while "working" i sincerely am glad you are ok, and feel well enough to joke around - that is awesome!
hi Within if you're still around <3
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Foxxxxxxxxxxxxy!!!!!! Was hoping you would check incase I crashed..!!!!
Baaaaaaaattttttt!!!! yay you're here, yay yay! *does kermit floppy happy wave* how are you feeling? so glad you feel well enough to type? are the painkillers working? getting help and warm fuzzies from all directions i hope!
yes, mens in tight pants and no pants indeed!! who ya going for tomorrow? i can't decide re afc and, well, you know what i'll be like during the nfc game
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Foxcxxxxxxxxy..... Withy..., where are you... We have hot mens and Football to discuss... And I'm going to fall asleep... Check in later! Miss you!
THank you TR...how are you.. And what are we watching this weekend at the TR Cultural Revolution and Film School... LOL?. Seriously you have great recommendations.. ;)
welcome back, VOB.
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God don't like ugly.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Sat, 01/19/2013 - 5:50pm.
Did any of you whores ever do that Jillian Michaels 30 day shred? At what point did you move up to level two ?
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lots going on in the OP tonight, but I'm gonna stick to what I know!
(hey, horz)
I did JM 30 day shred, and still do it on occasion. I find JM annoying as hell, but the workout itself is pretty good. I moved up to Level Two when I was "phoning in" Level One - probably closer to 20 days in. I was in very poor shape when I started, so "your results may vary."
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God don't like ugly.