The Texas T-Rex Was Mad At His Best Bitch Lance Armstrong For Doping Up
Matthew McConaughey has gone topless jogging with Lance Armsstrongduetodoping and not once did the Texas T-Rex get suspicious when the wooden floor boards broke into pieces from the sheer force of Lance's Hulk-like stomp. So when Lance came clean about playing dirty, Matthew McConaughey was sad and mad at the bitch for never telling him the truth. The Texas T-Rex, who is gaining some chunk and no longer looks like a zombie porn Giraffe circa 1975, is promoting his new movie Mud at Sundance right now and MTV News (via Yahoo) asked him what he thinks about Lance's cheating ways. Matthew said that it gave him the sads, which should give all of us the sads, because nothing is sadder than a sad T-Rex. :( Matthew said this:
"My first reaction was I was pissed off. I was mad. I then got kind of sad for him. First off, I had a part of me that took it kind of personally, which I think a lot of people have."
Matthew then said that he doesn't take it personally:
"What I mean by this is, what was he supposed to do? Call me to the side and go, 'Hey man, I did it but don't tell anybody.' Then I would have really had a reason to be pissed off at him, going, 'You want me to walk around holding this?'Where I am now is I've put myself out of the way and I am happy for this guy, who has now chosen to reenter this new chapter of his life a truly free man. And the weight he had on his shoulders, without the boogieman under the bed, the skeleton in the closet that he's carried for 14 years. Fourteen years he lied and carried the lie with him. Oprah said the other night, 'The truth will set you free,' but she forgot one part. It's miserable in the beginning. And it's going to be miserable, but he's looking it in the eye, and he'll handle it. He'll deal. And he's ready for how hard it's going to be to deal."
T-Rex, please. I know Matthew's usually got his head stuck in his bong, but his ass had to have known that Lance injected potent Go Go Juice directly into his veins. Didn't Matthew know that something in the milk was DOPE when Lance jacked his dick right off of his body during their weekly circle jerk sessions? The Texas T-Rex is just sad, because during all his years of doping, Lance never once pulled down his panties and asked Matthew to stick it in his butt. By "it," I mean the doping needle. I think.
Here's more of Matthew looking like an old, parched earth worm at Sundance over the weekend.
• 
Sorry, I don't buy it. He knew.
So did Jake and Sheryl.
Apparently Lance lied in his Orpah interview!
http://abcnews.go.com/m/story?id=18245484&ref=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.celebitch...
*"Honey, your reputation is SHIT in this town."*
His mannish-looking wife and their 3 kids have sucked all hot right out of Matthew. On the other hand, I find this statement to be one of the less ignorant things he's said. He both expresses disappointment and hope that this is Lance truly turning over a new leaf: sentiments I think many of us can share.
Maybe their kids have play dates.
TL;DR.
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A Lannister always pays his debts.
Lance's new life will be a very lonely one: after enjoying a celebrity status for most of his career, he's now highly toxic, and no one will want to be associated with him anymore (exactly the opposite of his former life).
Submitted by louise_brooks on Mon, 01/21/2013 - 12:03pm.
T-Rex, please.
Haha! I wonder if back in the day this line was used on an actual T-Rex by, let's say, a sassy stegosaurus, after aforesaid T-Rex attempted to gnaw on his spines.
He's sticking up for his friend. Friends are supposed to do that. *shrugs*
I forgot about their little bromance. I don't believe that he didn't know, or at least suspect something was up.
Im getting an Uncle Terry vibe from him in that getup.
McConagay gets points from me for being diplomatic about it.
Maybe Lance is all nice with celebs and an asshole to everyone else.
I've always found both gentlemen incredibly boring and quite ignorable.
Ah yes and I am sure his Magic Mike physique was completely natural, organic, gluten and HGH free.
T-Rex, please.
I thought he gained weight! Why is his neck so long and head so small. I don't think that massive weight loss was good for him.
"And the weight he had on his shoulders, without the boogieman under the bed, the skeleton in the closet that he's carried for 14 years."
Yea....he brought that on himself.....it kind of comes with the territory of the shit he pulled. He had massive ego stroking, fans defending him and PILES of money around him to make sure he would always be financially secure. All that shit he listed is par for the course. I hope the last 14 years were hell for him.....
self-serving piece of shit.
That's Matthew McConagay? Wow. He looks totally different. I would have never thought that was him.
His thoughts on Lance Armstrong are incredibly poignant, especially given I'm used to him sounding...I don't know, stoned and baked. Everything he said actually made sense.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
I kind of like what he said and usually I could care less about anything he does except if I'm watching him in Dazed and Confused (his best role by the way). I like that he kinda sorta slightly just a teeny bit called out Oprah. And yes, if he does recover from this (which I think he will because people forget and move on to the next scandal) it will take YEARS. Although people are still kind of pissed at Barroid Bonds but he does have his fans,
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Formerly known as kokoskitten
Lance was a known asshole even prior to all of this and now it's clear that he's a sociopath. This is probably how the "friendship" worked: LA got a running partner, a fellow Texan who happened to be very well liked and connected in Hollywood. MM seems like the kind of laid back guy who sees the best in people and doesn't ask for much so I guess he was an easy mark. I'm sure those who counted themselves as "friends" of LA will make excuses for him because the alternative - the idea of being used by a sociopath - is too disturbing.
Matthew is a gorgeous homosexual but seems tres petite.
How tall is she?
"And he'll write another one about the terrible burden he had to carry for 14 years. Ass."
EXACTLY.
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Either work hard, or you might as well quit
Wait, that's Matthew McConaughey?
WTF happened to him? He looks hideous.
I read somewhere that they were demanding they move his books to the Fiction section. Ha!
And he'll write another one about the terrible burden he had to carry for 14 years. Ass.
not sure what fucking difference his opinion on this makes but thank you for sharing it...
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" Can I wear the Scream mask? The mask from Scream... when I do you from behind..." ~ Kenny Powers
Very well said and incredibly human.
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
I think TinyArms up there knew. I call bullshit.
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"Vanity’s a business built to fleece the unique. Silicone and stars collide. The rest will fall in line. Just as beautiful as you are, it’s so pitiful what you are.You should have seen this coming all along."
For once I have nothing to bitch about - what he said made sense, was sensible and kind of thought through, something one wouldn't expect of him.
Just wanted to add that so I can bitch about some other celeb the next time and people don't think that I hate everyone and everything. HAH!
Edit: Grammar
As pissed as I'd be, I'd be happy he didn't lay that shit on me to carry.
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Don't ya think that you need somebody?
Don't ya think that you need someone?
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one, you're not the only one