Rachael Ray’s Husband Is Not A Member Of A Swingers Club, So Says Rachael Ray’s Husband
The National Enquirer, the highly-esteemed literary journal of choice for anybody who only wants the raw truth, reported in their latest issue that Rachael Ray's entertainment lawyer/musician husband of 7 years John Cusimano regularly visits a high class, exclusive, members only swingers club called Checkmate in Manhattan (Note: Checkmate's website sparkles, which means it's totally high class). Mr. Rachael Ray reportedly became a member before he married Rachael and he's been seen there several times with a bunch of ladies. Yes, with LADIES. Now I need to take my gaydar in for a tune-up and oil and filter change, because I really thought that Mr. Rachael Ray liked nothing more than to drizzle a little EVOO on a hard peen. He looks like a butch Mario Cantone. I've been wrong this whole time.
A source tells the Enquirer (via DM) that John has been seen at Checkmate at least six times and he always had at least one lady escort with him. Rachael has never been seen at the club. Some source says that the club is extremely picky about who they give membership to and only classy people are allowed in ("So why in the hell did they make Mr. Rachael Ray a member?" - all of us together) . John was once turned away from the front door for wearing shorts and a t-shirt. Didn't John see the sign that clearly read: No Pants, No Tie, No Vagina. The source went on to say that when John was dressed classy enough, they'd let him in and he'd dabble in the buffet before getting wet in the co-ed showers with a lady who wasn't his wife.
“After a bit of socializing at the buffet and the bar, John would always make his way to the back room. And every time he was observed in the coed locker room, he never took a shower alone. He’d always stop by the club’s buffet before closing to grab a few bagels for the road.
But Rachael's rep told the NYDN that the Enquirer is once again serving up a plate of cold lies and they might shove a lawsuit straight up their asses:
"This is yet another pack of lies printed by the National Enquirer who have been targeting John and Rachael for years without any merit whatsoever. John's lawyers have been in contact with the Enquirer and are exploring legal action against the publication for defamation."
If it's true, it's really not that big of a deal. I get it. Sometimes you just want to trade in the sound of your wife's sandpaper voice for the sound of a 60-year-old man moaning at you to go faster as you do his wife from behind. Understandable. But the real story here is that this swingers club has a buffet and that buffet has bagels on it! But I bet that bagel covered in sticky pubes is still more delicious than any of Rachael's 30-minute meals (says the bitch who has made, ate and liked one of those 30-minute meals. I'm not proud of that.)
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I once worked for the owners of the building where that club is located....the owners of the building are gay, the top 2 floors are a gay club and checkmate is in the basement, if you look at their site you can see its anything but classy, I remember seeing ikea furniture and worse....Its straight but its not the kind of place a smart person would eat any food from a buffet....but the poor guy prob.needs to get away from his bitch of a wife.
Interesting detail caught my eye when I looked at the Enquirer article. There's a photo of the entryway of the address where the swing club is located. It lists the swing club on the second floor, and on the sixth floor, a business familiar to us Peen - Lovers: NY' s East Side Club (for men)!!!! Enquiring Minds.....Could the swing club reports be negotiated 'damage control' for the real destination of his visits???
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"Y este pendejo, que siente?!....."
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Submitted by Oddly_Titillating on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 7:07am.
Maybe I'm naive, but I thought that a swinger's club would be for couples, not just a guy coming alone. Why is he allowed to visit without bringing the little wife?? If he just wanted to bang some random chicks, wouldn't he be going to a whorehouse?
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the story said that he always has at least one lady escort with him, so he probably pays an escort service to send a girl over so he can get in.
@Bunny - Quick, healthy meals with a veggie that doesn't come out of a can are always welcome. Thanks.
I loathe "30 MINUTE" recipe LIES I see on recipe websites and in books. Of course, it has *nothing* to do with me being distracted and going off to do something else. . .
SFRBully, it was called "Tingly Szechuan Pepper Beef Noodles." I actually liked it a lot. Used my mini food processor to chop everything. Used ground turkey instead of beef because my hubby doesn't eat beef. My kids loved it too, even though it was spicy. And best of all, I started making it at 6:17 and finished at exactly 6:47. That, in itself was a huge miracle.
Yes Rachael Ray is grating and annoying, but I have a tiny soft spot in my heart for her because when I was a new mom, some of her recipes did come in handy. She's no Thomas Keller or Joel Robuchon, but there are some goodies amongst the sammies and stoup shit.
Meh. She probably knows and has not one fuck to give. I wish they'd simply issue a joint statement saying, yeah this is true... so what?
Trouble is, the only people who don't find her utterly annoying would be those who'd drop her like a hot-cake as soon as she told the truth.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 12:06am.
nice organic olive oils at Jacuzzi too (or Cline, forgot which they're practically next to each other). separate business from winery but across the lobby from the tasting room
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I think it's Jacuzzi. I stumbled upon there once and was very pleasantly surprised. Their blood orange olive oil was divine! Olive oil boutiques are sprouting up everywhere in LA nowadays. It made my Christmas shopping easier, that's for sure.
My mother gave me one of her cookbooks for xmas one year. Not one of her recipes looked appealing. It's never left the shelf. I should give it away next garage sale.
LOL this place is right by my office! *considers swinging on my lunch hour*
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
@Bjerk Yew
OMG! From the comments page:
Rachael Ray's husband, John must be be on easy street.
Does a few show segments w/ her and dutifully answers back robotically about culinary minutiae, but you just KNOW he's bouncing on cock during down time.
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Excellent!
Submitted by Bunny Rabbit on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 2:39pm.
I have a confession to make. I actually made a Rachael Ray recipe yesterday and it took me 30 minutes from start to finish and it actually tasted good. It was from her morning show. Her cookbooks suck...I actually threw one away because it was useless.
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What was it?
Yes I saw her cookbook for kids. LAME!
I have a confession to make. I actually made a Rachael Ray recipe yesterday and it took me 30 minutes from start to finish and it actually tasted good. It was from her morning show. Her cookbooks suck...I actually threw one away because it was useless.
Check out the comments here:
http://www.datalounge.com/cgi-bin/iowa/ajax.html?t=10155493#page:showThr...
I had read that Ray's husband pays hookers to spit on him.
Submitted by Poopele on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 10:10am.
not so much. Jews are heavily involved in most of the perversion in the world.
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Aw, who let the dogs out?
Submitted by Poopele on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 10:10am.
not so much. Jews are heavily involved in most of the perversion in the world.
and you are heavily involved in bigotry, a much more dangerous perversion
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by mschunkyvanderslut on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 1:31am.
You know, if she uses all her stupid fucking goddamn abbreviations (evoo, sammies, etc..) oh gosh and 'yumm-o' (oh gosh the blood boiling hate i have for that word because of her!!) I would def. fuck other people. Bitch it is a sandwich. A sandwich!
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this is why I hate her too. She is such an irritant. Making all the money in the world tho. She sells bakeware and brags that she doesn't even bake.
Her talk show - a great reason to hate Oprah.
I thought Greg Giraldo was dead?
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
bad enough that chefs! are becoming celebrities left and right, but now their spouses are too?
how desperate have we become?
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
Big deal! he goes to a sex club, so what?
Submitted by Poopele on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 10:07am.
...the club is extremely picky about who they give membership to and only classy people are allowed in...
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I guess the threesome with Rachel and Paula Deen ain't happening.
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And you know Paula would ride it 'til she sings.
Gross!
...the club is extremely picky about who they give membership to and only classy people are allowed in...
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I guess the threesome with Rachel and Paula Deen ain't happening.
Anything on TV I've ever seen about these kinds of couples show fat, ugly people who I would NEVER do the nasty with. I've NEVER seen attractive people doing this sort of sh*t.
What's more sad than the fact that 10,000 animals got euthanized today? The fact that because of the ignorance of humans, it will happen again tomorrow. End the cycle. Spay and neuter your pets & please adopt your next pet from a shelter.
Hasn't the National Enquirer published stuff about him for a while now? I think there has to be some truth to the stories. Why would these rumors dog him so much? He's a nobody. Kinda like when Jess Simpson's dad was trying to claim that he's been singled out by the tabs and gay rumors.
Submitted by Super Stew: "When she says 'stoup', it makes me think of a combination of 'stool' and 'poop'."
Oh my word, you made me laugh so hard in front of all these people, you HOR!
my neighbor in phoenix was a swinger...GROSS...
a good friend of mine went to swinger place and said it turns her off so much that her lady parts were dry for months....
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
When she says 'stoup', it makes me think of a combination of 'stool' and 'poop'.
And depending on what happen's next, one will be able to see if there was a prenup or not.
Oh, and the B.R. Cohn Winery in Sonoma also has olive oils. The estate/reserve is truly to die for.
A) This whole article is comedy gold. MK at his finest.
B) Thanks for the link, Rande! My fiance and I are heading up to Sonoma in the next 2-3 months and we'd LOVE to try some fancy schmancy olive oil.
C) John + Swinger = Ew.
This particular "swinger's club" and many I've read about, say couples OR couples plus a female are allowed. No single men. Think about that. Gross, and discriminatory all in one. Lovely.
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
Submitted by Oddly_Titillating on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 7:07am.
Maybe I'm naive, but I thought that a swinger's club would be for couples, not just a guy coming alone. Why is he allowed to visit without bringing the little wife?? If he just wanted to bang some random chicks, wouldn't he be going to a whorehouse?
No, you are correct. Most swingers clubs want couples or single women. If it was open to everyone, they'd be overrun with single guys.
That's one of the things that's a bit fishy about this story.
Maybe I'm naive, but I thought that a swinger's club would be for couples, not just a guy coming alone. Why is he allowed to visit without bringing the little wife?? If he just wanted to bang some random chicks, wouldn't he be going to a whorehouse?
dunno why but "a few bagels for the road" made me laugh
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Wed, 01/23/2013 - 11:51pm.
There's EVOO for cookin', which is pretty much fungible. Then there's fancy EVOO for dippin'--the sort of stuff that you can taste the local flora in.
This organic winery, in Dry Creek, Sonoma, has the latter. Tasting it is a semi-religious experience:
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Who the hell cooks with evoo? Is it suitable for temperatures over low-heat sauteeing vegetables? That shit is for salads.
ETA: I can't wait to hear you describe eating the local venison, and its fauna taste.
´¨¨) -:¦:-
¸.•´ .•´¨¨)
(¸¸.•´ ..•´ but what do I know?-:¦:-
-:¦:- (¸¸.•´*
Rande used "fungible" in a comment.
*SWOONS*
MK, I love the way you think. We both focus on the fact that the spouse of a celebrity chef would eat the bagels from the buffet! ESCANDALO!
If it wasn't true, RR and hubby would have sued years ago. the NE has been on this story for over 3 years. RR's spouse is dirty in more ways than one. Sleazy background. Something is very off about their supposed holy union.
"No pants, no tie, no vagina."
HAHAHAHA
Gnite sweet whorz
You know, if she uses all her stupid fucking goddamn abbreviations (evoo, sammies, etc..) oh gosh and 'yumm-o' (oh gosh the blood boiling hate i have for that word because of her!!) I would def. fuck other people. Bitch it is a sandwich. A sandwich!
They look related. Ick.
@ Rande -- oh, i SO know that feeling ;-)
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
that guy has a gigantic bratz doll head
Pray tell m'lady, what is this bawbag you speak of?
Geebus H. Christ, it's 25 degrees outside, midnight and my puppeh is laid out on the lawn knawing on a bone, tail a wagging happy as shit. I mean, she's got a thick coat of fur but c'mon.
Batshit crazy this one is.
@ Rande, neither am I in general, I just read about it. Can't stand these doofs, a story on yahoo touting the best places to find good soups in DC, all because of this new restaurant that does serious ramen noodle soup. Oh please, give me a break with this hip places to be shit.
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fuck u dan snyder.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 12:06am.
Thanks! I've been itching to visit Sonoma again but so much anchors me here, 500 miles south: pets, job, etc.
Submitted by bambam on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 12:02am.
Nope. I'm not very trendy. :)
Submitted by bambam on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 12:02am.
Evenin' hoes
Good morning, bawbag.
Submitted by misslainey on Wed, 01/23/2013 - 10:36pm.
I always imagine swingers clubs decorated with swag lights, shag carpeting and faux leopard chairs. And a fishbowl full of keys on top of a baby grand piano.
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I couldn't afford a baby grand so I settled for a Yamaha electric. ;P
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fuck u dan snyder.
Who the fuck is this
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Wed, 01/23/2013 - 11:51pm.
nice organic olive oils at Jacuzzi too (or Cline, forgot which they're practically next to each other). separate business from winery but across the lobby from the tasting room
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Evenin' hoes,
Hey Rande, have you tried any smoked olive oil? I haven't myself but I read it's the next trend coming around.
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fuck u dan snyder.