Bethenny Frankel And Jason Hoppy Are Both Acting Extremely Mature And Reasonable During Their Divorce
Disclaimer: Several handfuls of calorie-packed sarcasm flakes were sprinkled all over that headline before I hit the publish button.
Seen here carrying the dried shell of his nutsack that Bethenny Frankel used to let him hold to remember happier days, Jason Hoppy is scratching back at Castle Grayskull's daytime line cook and has declared war. When the reality shit show star and alcohol-ruiner filed for divorce from Jason Hoppy earlier this month, she sharpened her extra pointy clavicle bone and shanked him with it by asking for child support, primary custody of their 2-year-old daughter Bryn and their $5 million Tribeca apartment (which looks like this). Bethenny also wants Jason to pay for her and Bryn's medical and dental expenses. Normally, when the terrifying plastic skeleton of the Joker jumps you in a dark alley and demands your money and throws its medical bills at you, you give them your money and you pay their medical bills on time, but Jason is fighting back.
TMZ says that Jason has responded to Bethenny's divorce petition and he wants everything she wants. Basically, Jason's new lawyer Jill Zarin (yes, Jill Zarin got her law degree online just so she can get back at her arch rival Bethenney) copied Bethenny's divorce papers, but wrote Jason's name over Bethenny's name and wrote Bethenny's name over Jason's name.
Bethenny wants primary custody of their kid and so does Jason.
Bethenny wants their $5 million apartment and so does Jason.
Bethenny wants child support and so does Jason.
Bethenny wants her ex to pay for her medical and dental bills and so does Jason.
Bethenny wants to be co-beneficiary, along with her daughter, of her ex's life insurance policy and so does Jason.
Jason also wants Bethenny to pay for his lawyer and accountant.
According to the completely reliable (read: not at all reliable) CelebrityNetWorth.com, Bethenny is worth $25 million and Jason is worth $5 million. Bethenny and Jason made a lot of their money while together and they also made that kid together, so you'd think they'd just split everything down the middle, but they're reality shit show stars so they have to do everything extra.
I would side with Bethenny, because again, you don't mess with the plastic skeleton of the Joker, but I just can't. I can't side with a trick who ruins alcohol. Her SkinnyGirl margarita tastes like the piss of a rotten lime if the rotten lime ate asparagus right before pissing. It barely has any alcohol too. Powerade gives me a stronger buzz than that ShittyGirl crap does. That being said, should Bethenny not get primary custody of her daughter just because she can't make a margarita right? Does being a margarita-ruiner make her a bad mother. Of course no... Yes, yes, it does.
And I'm also slowly sliding over to Jason's side, because every time I read Jason's last name, I think of my favorite scene in Joy Luck Club when Auntie Lindo looks at her daughter through the salon mirror and says, "You make me hoppy." And that makes me hoppy.
• 
@TelevisedRevolution: I'll be right over to enjoy delectable vodka sours with you. It's been a shitty morning so organic vodka with lemons is the perfect detox.
I'm with you. It's Hoppy and Bryn all the way.
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"That's what you said a week ago in Guadalajara." - Honey West
Submitted by literarylioness on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 7:27pm.
I could never understand why she was on NY Housewives when she wasn't a housewife. Didn't you at least have to be married?
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Nope. Just a passing resemblance of a female which is frequently questionable. Could be called The Real Trannies franchise. Bethany is downright frugly. Some of the Housewives have their faces pulled so tight they look Asian. (Are there any Asian Housewives?) Any tighter and their twat will be on their neck.
Juni take a midol please and calm diwn.
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Now we know who the real Sasha Fierce is. They all lookin' like, "If this high-yellow mulatto Jezebel hussy don't off my daddy/son in-law, tracks WILL be tugged on national TV." --Sunny on Sasha Obama
STFU about drinking and what you prefer to drink, what teams you watch, etc. This is not an open post or a chat room.
As for these so-called Housewives, very few of them in any of the Housewives franchises are actual housewives as we used to know the term. And in the case of the RealSkanks of Atlanta, none of them were even living in Atlanta proper. Some were ex-strippers, and all, without exception are talentless famewhores.
If only I hadn't been dyslexic the first time I saved it...
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"Not judging or being gossipy on Dlisted is like when I go to a hotel with a bag of dildos and I get stoned and wind up using the bed to watch Judge Judy and that's it." -- SFRBully, 1/24/2013
Thanks for the siggy, SFRB! Brilliance!!
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"Not judging or being gossipy on Dlisted is like when I go to a hotel with a bag of dildos and I get stoned and wind up using the bed to watch Judge Judy and that's it." -- SRFBully, 1/24/2013
Thanks Hockey fan! Much respect and luck to the Blackhawks too! Would seriously love to see a game with you and the missus! We could shock and embarrasse Mr. Gardener! Or we could go to a Ducks game and get tossed from the arena. :D
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
GG, i can just see your ass running around outside the Staples Center--lmao! I did see your home opener but since mrs. Hockey is a blackhawks fan, i kinda had to root for them. I'm bummed that Scott Hartnell will be out 8 weeks with a broken foot. Hes my fave next to Chara and Patrice Bergeron. Good luck to ur Kings.
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Now we know who the real Sasha Fierce is. They all lookin' like, "If this high-yellow mulatto Jezebel hussy don't off my daddy/son in-law, tracks WILL be tugged on national TV." --Sunny on Sasha Obama
I could never understand why she was on NY Housewives when she wasn't a housewife. Didn't you at least have to be married?
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 12:11pm.
You guys are so judgy about drinking.
*sips white wine and gives thanks for Botox and good facials*
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WORD. *gulps red wine and gives thanks for stripey tiger fur* BURP! Who wants rum cake?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I was thinking about their marital assets some more (= jerking off at work). I read on TMZ that they signed a prenup, so that colors who gets what. I also read up on NY divorce law, which uses equitable distribution, not community property, to divvy up assets. She could argue that SkinnyGirl was her pre-marriage separate property, so she's entitled to reap all profits from its sale.
Submitted by The Sunshine Gang on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 4:49pm.
Why did they furnish their Tribeca apartment with IKEA pieces?
Craigslist had a special sale.
I find Jason more attractive now after reading that he asked for all the same shit she had asked asked of him. She used him for his jizz and tried to cuntrol his every thought.
I hope he gets everything available to him and shows all the K-Fed wanna be's how to do da divorce right.
Sorry - dp!
I am actually surprised anyone married this lady. She just seems a little nutso and hyper. I just don't know.
Also, there is a pretty big disparity in their net worth totals. I can see him paying child support, and maybe some of his daughter's medical expenses. WHY on earth should he pay for HER medical expenses? Or, why should she stay on his life insurance? Whaaat?
As for the husband. I don't feel too badly for him. She was a wound up, Type A to begin with. His fault for thinking she would change after marriage. Of course she's gonna be a controlling bitch. To have thought otherwise was poor judgement on his part.
^^^^A lot of men seem to really go for those types though, probably due to mommy issues.
Why did they furnish their Tribeca apartment with IKEA pieces?
^^^^^
Thank you. What a bland decor! Everything looks like a showroom / department store.
Why did they furnish their Tribeca apartment with IKEA pieces?
Submitted by chaka1 on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 2:14pm.
I HONESTLY have no idea who this is or why I should give a damn.
My thoughts exactly.
I like Bethany, but she always has had this Skeletor-esque late-in-life Kennedy family female look to her.
And I am for one SHOCKED that her reality tv marriage did not last, and that the divorce is not filled with sunshine and rainbows.
Just another reality whore clinging to her final 15 minutes of fame.
Stessie: Preach! I agree. 100%
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
Bethenny peed on pregnancy stick on camera, gave birth on camera, has her baby starring on her reality show.
Then, complained that her mother sold pictures of Bethenny as a teenager for $ and said "who uses their kid like that for money?"
WTF?
She says this while her baby is sleeping in the same room ON CAMERA on her reality show. She loves her daughter but from the moment she did a pregnancy test on fucking tv, that baby has been a way to promote Bethenny and her booze business.
So stop trashing your mother, you are doing the same thing you accuse your mother of. The mother you trash and hate.
Jason wants payback and revenge plain and simple, hope he gets it; "Skinny Girl" meh :/, Mike's Hard Lemonade better =)
Hoppy fam might have had a chance w/o cameras 24/7.
wasn't there a movie "Hoppity Goes to Town"? :>
~O..+~
"Have you met Howard?"
I HONESTLY have no idea who this is or why I should give a damn.
Green pee? :O
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
My luscious beverage - the perfect vodka sour! With real lemons and organic vodka made from potatoes grown on a collective farm by lonely Russian virgins (as an alternative to selling themselves on the internet) - would be called:
"enjoy yourself: it's later than you think". Drink up, Bitches!
As far as Bethanny and Jason, Bethanny is the sort of person a friend called "the piece of shit around which the whole world revolves." She keeps running because if she sat down for a minute she'd fall the fuck apart. She is very bright, and charming - she was the most real in some ways of all the NY "housewives" - but because she truly is smarter than most people, no one will call her on her shit (she won't let anybody near her who is able to call her on her shit) and therefore she "can't help" but be a stone cold bitch. Getting therapy on TV is the biggest joke ever - that dude is too soft to help her, but she gets to tell herself that she tried. I know this drill too well - and I actually LIKE Bethanny. Really glad I am not in her life, though!
ANYWAY - Jason Hoppy and Bryn, all the way. I think Jason's a good guy, probably in serious pain, and does NOT need vampire photographers hunting him down, poor guy. Bet he's hoping to wake up from the nightmare.
PS: That apartment photographs as $5 million worth of cold.
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God don't like ugly.
*makes mental note to never go to a public bar with Hockey Fan or Twatty*
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Hockey fan, I LOVES IT!!! We lost our home opener but I was still happy. I was running around like a lunatic outside of Staples. I was crazier than a shit house mouse!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 1:13pm.
Foxxy -- I have unopened bottles of Midori and sweet & sour mix on my bar.
*ducking from Foxxy*
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Might I chime in??
BREAK EM OPEN, GIRL!! What are we waiting for? THat's a Midori sour and it only makes your pee green for a little while. Don't ask how I know that.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 11:27am.
Ugh, my sister had those Skinny Girl concoctions at one of her parties...I hate how shit like this becomes a thing and no matter how shitty they people jump on that train. It tasted like a blend of foot water and chemicals. Can't wait for this Skinny GIrl fad to die in a fire.
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Once again, GMTA. Just give me a Crown and Coke bc fuck everyone who tells me I need to be skinny with THEIR products. I could never in good conscience buy something peddled by one of these know-nothing celeb-driven hags.
How are you enjoying hockey GG??? LOVESIT!!!
Submitted by Vkn1981 on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 12:07pm.
The skinny girl wine is just as bad.
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Jayzus, there's a SkinnyGirl WINE?! Fucking gross. And that's coming from a gal who will drink pretty much any wine as long as it's red.
YAY WRONG FUCKING POST.
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
This story makes me livid. This bitch has millions and doesn't need financial support from him. All she's ever talked about is her fucked up childhood and now she's going to fuck her daughter up too.
I hate her square head, her weird stoned-out-of-mind smile, but most of all I hate her constantly trying to shove her life down our throats! Who the fuck is this bitch anyway? Why am I supposed to care about some vapid, self absorbed cunt who probably only saw her baby and "husband" as good career moves?
Run along, bitch, it's past your bedtime.
Her body does look good in that photo. Except the bolt-ons. I think that you need a modicum of body fat to make them look good. She's toned and it doesn't look sickly skinny.
@ jack -- it takes all of my self control to not side eye people when i see them pull that stank shit off the shelf at the grocery store or bev mo. it's the ed hardy t-shirt of alcohol
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Wow, skinny is not her friend. I just took a look at that apartment article MK linked to, and her face looks like a memaw's.
And why should he pay all that to her?! She's the rich one! Women haven't traditionally gotten alimony because they have vaginas, you dumb bitch.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
she has the biggest weirdest jawline I've ever seen. Kayne West has the same jawline too. I think they both barf up all the time, isn't that a sign of bulimia?
LMAO foxxy fucking HYPNOTIQUE!!!! gaaaaaaaahdDAMN that shit is just wrong...
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" Can I wear the Scream mask? The mask from Scream... when I do you from behind..." ~ Kenny Powers
@ Twatty -- in the name of all that is holy and sweet about the holy sweet nectar please continue to keep those two things separate!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Foxxy -- I have unopened bottles of Midori and sweet & sour mix on my bar.
*ducking from Foxxy*
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"Two eyes, two eyebrows."
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 12:11pm.
You guys are so judgy about drinking.
*sips white wine and gives thanks for Botox and good facials*
Not me - I'll drink just about anything except wine - it gives me a headache. Of course the other stuff does as well depending how much I drink *hic*
i don't judge people who drink. i judge people who drink shit like Skinny Girl. or Hypnotique. or Midori sours.
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
@Hekki
I give a pass to day drinking when you're on vacation. If someone wants to drink a Mai Tai on the beach at 10AM, have at it. Now I don't know if she was in Aspen working or vacationing, cuz I don't watch her dumb ass show.
As for the husband. I don't feel too badly for him. She was a wound up, Type A to begin with. His fault for thinking she would change after marriage. Of course she's gonna be a controlling bitch. To have thought otherwise was poor judgement on his part.
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Now I'm not saying she has a problem with alcohol, but... I know that drinking in secret is a sign of drinking problem, but I don't think morning drinking and forcing other people to join you is normal, either.
Can I get three "Fuck It" Bahama Mamas over here please? =}
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"...I'm a greedy, money grubbing
whore and a check is a check, so I'd strap a snorkel on the ol' noggin and muff dive like there was diamonds up in there..."
By: Tigerlilly
Submitted by Persistent Cat on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 12:19pm.
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 12:11pm.
You guys are so judgy about drinking.
*sips white wine and gives thanks for Botox and good facials*
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Haha - I'm miss judgy when it comes to alcohol and even more judgy about facials.
Facials, unless you have severe cystic acne, are the biggest load of bullshit ever. Good skin comes from good diet, minimal exposure to sun and lots of sleep. As far as external care of your skin, a facial is really no better for you than a minute or two with your clarisonic at home.
Louise -- I never drink either, so for me to recommend something it it has to be pretty spectacular. I also love the Lemon Drop martinis at the Cheesecake Factory, though I always ask them to take it easy on the booze. I'll have to remember that Bavarian Lodge place; always good to know about a decent place.
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"Two eyes, two eyebrows."
Now that they are separated, at least he doesn't have to worry about running into her ginormous chin anymore. That monstrosity on the bottom of her face should have its own zip code. Quagmire, indeed.
this strong faced chick is worth 25M?
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr