Easy, Breezy, Beautiful, Cover Hawk
Jezebel pointed out that future father and current Hawkeye Jeremy Renner showed up to the Hollywood premiere of Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (How is that a movie?) last night looking wet, wild and Bonne Belle beautiful. Before Jeremy was Jason Bourne, he was a make-up artist, so he knows the importance of brushing his lashes with clear mascara before he gets photographed. No, Jeremy isn't happy to see you, that's just a bronzer stick in his pants.
Before every event, Jeremy slides up in front of the Hollywood makeup mirror in the beauty salon in his mansion, puts a Vanity 6 cassette in his Boombox and plays this:
You know he's said the line, "Smoke a cigarette, I'm not ready yet," to his roommate at least once. You know, I should stop calling Jeremy Renner "Hawkeye." That liner and mascara makes him look more like Bunnyeye. I just want him to wink at me while nibbling on some wet lettuce.
And why is Peter Stomare praying in front of Gemma Arterton? Peter Stormare should be praying at the altar of the real Church of Maybelline Glamour: Jeremy Renner's face.
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Meh, I'm chalking this up to a bad day. I don't think he photographs well. He looks hot in motion. He's smoking in The Hurt Locker. And by all accounts he's a really good guy too so that counts for a lot for me.
I'm ok with ugly hot. I think Daniel Craig is hot too.
I will agree that he looks like a queen in these pics though.
Michael K, I luv u, the reference to Vanity 6 made me laugh out loud.
The Blind Item about his Baby Mama is so bad I'm gonna crush my Cover Hawk lipstick under a hammer. He's clearly not gay. Just a makeup wearing, topless blackjack dealer loving dog.
What a queen. He looks like Terence Stamp in Priscilla Queen of the Desert.
"LOL! Nah, there's nothing wrong if you think/thought he was hot. I just always thought he was one of Dlisted's "sacred cows" and it was always funny to see the fangirls shit their pants over the gay talk. Ah well."
Yeah, I don't get when anyone gets super angry about a celebrity possibly being gay/faking a pregnancies/relationships/general douchbaggery. Yes, it is disappointing to find out an actor is or is possibly gay/a prick/chose your own disappointing revelation, but it's not like any of are ever going to know the person in question, so I don't get why people get so worked up over it. *shrugs*
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
Renner isn't really striking or good looking, he's kind of below than the average Hollywood leading man so I'm surprised that he's made it thus far.
For the record I like the guy, he is a good actor, and he's still able to disappear into roles and that won't happen to famewhores or to those who let their personal lives get in the way of their profession.
Again, I don't get why the media keeps pressing on this subject. Renner is probably not gay, he just doesn't need to bring a date to a red carpet event to make a statement about his sexual preference.
I like how the media always picks on certain people while conveniently lets others off the hook. Case in point, Matt Bomer was never bothered with rumors until he willingly came out. Could it be that his rich and influential Hollywood-based lawyer husband/sugardaddy had anything to do with that?
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
He's probably as gay as a picnic basket but really in his defense as with most of Hollywood they're also as vane as anyone could be...including actors like Clooney or even the older actors like Burt Reynolds. Burt had a three layer pancake face with a WIG!
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If anyone is going to pee on him it's going to be me.- Nicole Kidman
Submitted by ethang on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 3:46pm.
He appeals to straight women. Add Depp, Clooney and Crowe to the mix.
Nope to all three. Throw in Ryan Gosling too.
Submitted by saltydog on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 4:52pm.
Nah, men who stray from heternormative behavior are fair game. Only if you mock a woman will the drum-banging feminists have a problem with it.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
OK, why does this man have an extremely high profile career? I mean I KNOW why, but really, Hollywood - with Renner you're exactly like Jennifer Lopez and her pug Casper Smart. If you're going to lift someone to an exalted position (HAH), at least make sure he's cute!
Not for nothing did Renner play that worn-out Southie in that Affleck movie which I now forget. Yeesh. He ugly, and all the clear mascara in the universe will never change that.
Submitted by kikichanelconspiracy on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 9:03pm.
I mostly blame the blatant makeup.
LOL! Nah, there's nothing wrong if you think/thought he was hot. I just always thought he was one of Dlisted's "sacred cows" and it was always funny to see the fangirls shit their pants over the gay talk. Ah well.
Submitted by Karen Flatts on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 10:17pm.
Oh my GOOOOOD.......You need a swift fucking kick to your English twat bone. Fuck you. If you actually are from England, then all of England is embarassed,
When are you going to get some new material, you tiresome old cunt? No wonder you’re so angry – it must be hard living without a brain to call your own. Blame your parents for that. I bet they are siblings.
Gemma Arterton- no talent hooker.
So much tinted foundation or is that bronzer?!?!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Bloggie noms close January 27th! http://2013.bloggi.es/
Submitted by saltydog on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 4:52pm.
Isn't Jezebel supposed to be a feminist site? Why are they making fun of a man for wearing make-up? It doesn't really seem very in line with feminism to mock anybody that doesn't conform to gender norms.
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Those rules change with the phases of the moon and the rise in sanitary napkin sales.
Many of my married or divorced male friends with kids, guys who are into sports and cars, used to be make-up artists. No, wait wait wait. I got that completely backwards: I don't know any hetero guys who used to be make-up artists.
Submitted by Night Owl on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 4:49pm.
De nada.
A former makeup artist can't even blend his foundation at his hairline? Bitch please.
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"Lord help us all! Jesus take the bedazzled wheel." ~~MK
I used to have such a rod for him. I would put him in that class of shorter, hot, muscular guys like Scott Caan. Now he is in that class of guys starting to look like old women, just like Paul McCartney.
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"She's Black & I'm Gay--- we create culture."
I'm a Renner fangirl!!! I will be whatever he wants me to be in that sandwich....«faints»
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
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RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 8:50pm.
I'm pretty surprised. Where the hell did all Jeremy Renner's crazy fangirls here go? This place used to be full of them; now, suddenly, everyone agrees that he's ugly?
Oh my GOOOOOD.......
You need a swift fucking kick to your English twat bone.
Fuck you. If you actually are from England, then all of England is embarassed,
Submitted by Meatblocks on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 10:17am.
it ain't awesome until flatts shits on it.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 5:00pm.
Karen Flatts is always a cunt
I have no idea who this troll face is, but he sho' is ugleh!
Submitted by mike on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 7:15pm.
Jeremy Renner bores the shit out of me, but Vanity was über-hot back in the proverbial day. Arguably the hottest of Prince's "protégés"(though Apollonia has aged better), she's sadly now fat and Jesus-y.
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What about Ms. Calender from Buffy? She was either Diamond or Pearl and in a few of his videos she is/was GORGEOUS
Lucifer - Evil Cupcake adores him but I haven't seen her around these parts in a months. I used to find him very hot too but I never took other people's dislike of him personally. Everybody's taste is different *shrug*
However between the baby momma (possible surrogate?) and the makeup, I've kind of lost my lady boner for her. I mostly blame the blatant makeup.
As for the gay rumors, it would kind of bum me out because he's starred in a few of my fantasies, however, it's not like it would personally affect my life if he's gay (or not) because it's not like I'll ever know him. If he's gay, I wish he felt comfortable enough to come out, but you know not my life, career, etc.
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
I'm pretty surprised. Where the hell did all Jeremy Renner's crazy fangirls here go? This place used to be full of them; now, suddenly, everyone agrees that he's ugly?
MK-
You need to get Tina Fey to hook you up - you deserve to write for SNL! You could actually save that sinking boat!
Eh, whatever. He does not bother me. If he is gay, whatever. I actually thought that movie would be a ridiculously bad one, but fun.
Anyway, I really dig that Gemma Aterton chick. She was interviewed by my local radio station, and she just seems really down to earth. I also read that she was born with a crumpled ear and extra fingers!
Jeremy Renner bores the shit out of me, but Vanity was über-hot back in the proverbial day. Arguably the hottest of Prince's "protégés"(though Apollonia has aged better), she's sadly now fat and Jesus-y.
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 3:20pm.
Um no, he's not hot, and he's gay, with a partner and has a surrogate baby on the way. He's not a good actor either. Next?
*points and laughs at IF*
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
The fact that hollywood males like him claim that some of them are actually straight is really surprising to me! At the most, they are all bi and I am being very generous with that generalization.
I have that song on cassette
Werd.
Submitted by dementa on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 5:50pm.
I do think Hawkeye is damn hot. I think I've been developing a thing for hot-ugly guys like him and Daniel Craig recently. I don't know why.
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Maybe cuz they try a little harder to please in order to compensate for their lack of good looks
Submitted by ethang on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 3:46pm.
Eww, you can keep those three guys. I don't like them at all. Crowe grosses me out.
I do think Hawkeye is damn hot. I think I've been developing a thing for hot-ugly guys like him and Daniel Craig recently. I don't know why.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Give me Daniel Craig any day! Renner's too mushy faced.
well, ethang, i hope you've learned your lesson about trying to throw a lifeline to someone drowning in the River youknowwhat
l.m.f.a.o.
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
I.F., you are so funny! Feel better.
oh shut up all of you!
*takes toys and runs off home*
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by IrishFury on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 4:29pm.
ethang
I am a straight woman and I think he's vile.
And since you are A Ghey - what's your vibe on Bradley Cooper? Would he like a 'you' or a 'me'?
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Bradley is G-A-Y
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 4:58pm.
IF, for the last time! - Coop would throw up and cry if he saw a vaj.
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He didn't cry when he saw mine but I did have to draw him a map to all the best sites.
IF, for the last time! - Coop would throw up and cry if he saw a vaj.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 4:51pm.
IF, like how you worked that B.Cooper question in there:)
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Pushy, it was for research purposes only. I'm doing a paper called H8trs Goin' H8.
I swear.
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Dark-sided!
I'm getting some serious Glambert vibes from him in these photos.
Isn't Jezebel supposed to be a feminist site? Why are they making fun of a man for wearing make-up? It doesn't really seem very in line with feminism to mock anybody that doesn't conform to gender norms.
IF, like how you worked that B.Cooper question in there:)
This bitch is so gay he farts glitter.
Thank you RandéSleepover
She looks pretty and her face is beat "to the Gods." Oh, and Gemma Arterton looks nice too.
We're going to give you a fair trial- followed by a first class hanging."- Silverado