Ashley Judd And Her Hot Piece Of A Husband Broke Up

The picture above was taken at the Emmys in September, so you’d think that Ashley Judd’s husband Dario Franchitti would’ve immediately filed papers to legally quit her ass after she forced him to pose next to her while she’s got a cone of hair sitting on top of her head. Wearing your hair like that is only okay if you’re trying to smuggle a file to a prison inmate or if you’re trying to smuggle tiny bottles of booze into a 15-hour-long Emmy ceremony. (That’s probably what Ashley is doing here, which explains why Dario is okay with it).

 Dario and Ashley didn’t file for divorce then (reason. irreconcilable differences over her ugly ass hairstyle), but they’re breaking up now. Dario and Ashley issued a statement to People yesterday saying that after 11 years of looking at each other’s faces every day, they’re sick of looking at each other’s faces:

“We have mutually decided to end our marriage. We’ll always be family and continue to cherish our relationship based on the special love, integrity, and respect we have always enjoyed.”

Ashley and Dario got married in Scotland in 2001 after 2 years of being engaged. And now Ashley has more time to either shoot a sequel to my favorite shit show Eye of the Beholder or plan her run for Senator of Kentucky.

And my thoughts are with Ashley’s therapy dog during this highly difficult time.

It’s a difficult time, because Ashley’s dog no longer gets to lick Dario’s glorious furry leech brows first thing in the morning.