Brandi Glanville Reupholstered Her Vagina With Eddie Cibrian's Money
Seen here at a glamorous event at a McDonald's last year, Brandi Glanville writes in her new tell-all Drinking and Tweeting and Other Brandi Blunders that after Eddie Cibrian tainted her pristine vagina with the pussy juices from all of his side pieces, she got a face lift on her coochie and used his credit card to pay for it. Looking at that picture above probably convinced you to have Chicken McBites covered in sweet 'n sour sauce for lunch and then reading that sentence changed your mind.
Brandi writes that after she birthed out her two sons, she asked Eddie if her vagina still looked like a freshly bloomed baby pink calla lily or if it looked like two long pieces of sardine jerky fighting over a chewed up wad of gum. Eddie told her it was still precious until one time he told her it wasn't. Then after Eddie dumped her for LeAnn Rimes, she decided to de-Cibrianize her twat. Brandi says that she was broke and living in her SUV at the time, so she charged the surgery to Eddie's credit card:
"I would ask Eddie from time to time if my vagina was the same after childbirth. He always said yes, except once. He was actually quite vulgar.
I decided that since Eddie ruined my vagina for me, he could pay for a new one. A week after the vaginal rejuvenation surgery, he was on the phone screaming, 'What the fuck cost you $12,000? Did you get a nose job?'I responded simply, 'Yes. A nose job.' And I hung up."
Great. So now LeAnnRimes, the Hedy to Brandi's Ally, is going to track down the plastic surgeon who restored Brandi's vagina to its pre-Cibrian glory, ask to see the "after" pictures and say, "I want that pussy on my body!" Single White Vagina starring Brandi AnalGlanville and Falcor's malnourished twin sister.
• 
Brandi should have said she had female circumcision.
Oh shit. Falcor is going to one up her by leaking pictures of her squinty box.
Nooooo!!!
why would someone say this to the entire world?
What sort of messed up mind thinks this is info the world needs to know...
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~~~ Woosah ~~~~
Submitted by Event Horizon on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 2:16pm.
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 2:10pm.
Submitted by CoconutCoochie on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 2:03pm.
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 1:06pm.
MY giner is stronger than it was before (thank you, Kegels!). I don't ask Mr. Hekki if it's the same, because I don't care. If he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to visit it.
How late AFTER childbirth can you do Kegel exercises go back to a pre-birth vagina?
I gave birth a month ago and though I've been told to do the exercises everyday I've been way too busy taking care of the baby to deal with it... but now I'm starting to get paranoid...
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Is pre-birth tightness without surgery even possible?
I know we're all portraying that feminist, be proud of your womanhood thing is this thread today, but I like having a tight, good looking pussy and I might be traumatized if it got loose or started to look sad. Is there anyway to prevent this?
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I think so. I get no complaints. In fact I've been complimented. I did kegels pre baby (just sort of became a nervous tic, lol) and post baby. It works. And generally, if you take care of the whole body, the eerie canal will benefit too.
Thanks people!!
Having sexy times again is going to be...hmm... interesting ;)
Omg, EH, you are fucking killin me lately!!!bwahahahah, sad grey haired wolf.*dies*
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 2:12pm.
BSF: Girl, I was thinking about you yesterday! How are things? I have to run, but give us an update!
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Hey Hekki! Things are good. They've definitely stabilized. Separated and on the way to divorce...it's for the best. Still dating VP. Still can't believe he's as nice as he really is. I'm happy. My daughter is happy. Life is chugging along.
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 2:10pm.
It's never too late to tighten up that coochie, Coconut! Kegels are a sluts best friend. Just remember to do them. You can gauge where you...ahem...stand by trying to stop your urine midstream when you pee. If you can still stop it on a dime, your mantrap is still pretty tight. If you dribble, get your kegel on. Congrats and happy tightening!
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Yea...this is probably the funniest thing I've read in weeks.
Rocket!!! You are KILLING ME!!!!!!
I am betting that Leann just found out that she paid for the battening of Brandi's snatch.
That is the LEAST she can do, seeing as she cheated with Brandi's husband. It will be interesting to see how loud she howls if Eddie cheats on her and how vindictive she will be on twitter- heh- toward the woman who is prettier than she is and nicer. Money only goes so far...
IMHO, of course.
Team Brandi.
Oh, and having had a former boyfriend who cheated on me with a vicious skank, I would TOTALLY redo as much as possible on his dime. Her ending up paying for it would be even better and I would make sure she knew about it. Probably after he had dumped her stupid 'I am going to kill myself if you leave me' self. (Yes, she threatened suicide everytime he tried to leave her. I laughed when he told me that and told him he deserved it for what he did to me.)
Bitch is broke, living in a suv & she fixes up her coochie?
Priorities People!
Hahaha...I love Brandi. You go girl.
And actually, it was probably Leann's money she used. Eddie is a kept man-whore.
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Creeping Jesus, woman....have you no shame at all? No one wants to hear about your overstretched cooch.
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A Lannister always pays his debts.
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 2:10pm.
Submitted by CoconutCoochie on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 2:03pm.
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 1:06pm.
MY giner is stronger than it was before (thank you, Kegels!). I don't ask Mr. Hekki if it's the same, because I don't care. If he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to visit it.
How late AFTER childbirth can you do Kegel exercises go back to a pre-birth vagina?
I gave birth a month ago and though I've been told to do the exercises everyday I've been way too busy taking care of the baby to deal with it... but now I'm starting to get paranoid...
----------------
Is pre-birth tightness without surgery even possible?
I know we're all portraying that feminist, be proud of your womanhood thing is this thread today, but I like having a tight, good looking pussy and I might be traumatized if it got loose or started to look sad. Is there anyway to prevent this?
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j
"I'm doin ho activities, with ho energy. Ho's are my friends, ho's are my enemies."
My guess is it now looks like one of Leann Rimes slit eyes.
BSF: Girl, I was thinking about you yesterday! How are things? I have to run, but give us an update!
CoconutCoochie: Ideally, you do it before you give birth. Ask your dr, because it probably depends if you have stitches or whatnot. It's just flexing a muscle, so it's not a huge effort.
You can do them any time, anywhere. I do them whenever I'm waiting in a line (supermarket, bank, etc.)
Good luck, mama!
This is the shit you have to say today apparently to sell a book which I'm sure, was written by someone else because this bitch doesn't have two brain cells to rub together. I'll pass and wait for the movie.
Is there a chapter devoted to her asshole too? Besides Eddie, I mean.
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"Men need to like you a little more than you like them" .......... NeNe Leakes
Submitted by CoconutCoochie on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 2:03pm.
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 1:06pm.
MY giner is stronger than it was before (thank you, Kegels!). I don't ask Mr. Hekki if it's the same, because I don't care. If he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to visit it.
How late AFTER childbirth can you do Kegel exercises go back to a pre-birth vagina?
I gave birth a month ago and though I've been told to do the exercises everyday I've been way too busy taking care of the baby to deal with it... but now I'm starting to get paranoid...
-------------------------------------------------------------------
It's never too late to tighten up that coochie, Coconut! Kegels are a sluts best friend. Just remember to do them. You can gauge where you...ahem...stand by trying to stop your urine midstream when you pee. If you can still stop it on a dime, your mantrap is still pretty tight. If you dribble, get your kegel on. Congrats and happy tightening!
Submitted by CoconutCoochie on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 2:03pm.
I've been way too busy taking care of the baby to deal with it...
Girl, you don't need to join a gym to do Kegels. You can do them anytime, anywhere.
Twattty, I think I DVR'd that but deleted it because I didn't want my daughters seeing it accidentally. That is AWFUL. It makes me sad that women/girls feel that way. As if every other part of us isn't scrutinized and held up to some ideal.
But honestly, I have seen that kind of talk here. I know pretty much everyone is just being mean about the person it's directed at (Blohan's ham wallet, Shauna Sand's hallway you throw a hotdog down, etc.) but it's part of the problem. Someone could internalize it and get a complex.
Ehhhh, whatever. I like body, I'm trying to model that and teach my daughters to love theirs, too. (So far I've been successful but we haven't hit the puberty yet)
Coconut- Get some ben wa balls after your 6 week check up. You can put them in when you're doing whatever for a workout.
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
Darknight -- the documentary is called "Sexy Baby." They've been running it on cable lately. This young woman's story is one of 3 they tell.
annobanano -- vaginal rejuvenation surgery is fairly grizzly. The most major part involves major trimming of the labial lips. I cannot even begin to imagine how much recovery hurts -- OUCH!!!
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"Two eyes, two eyebrows."
People sure seem to care so much about genitals these days. Guys text pictures of their junk as an introductory greeting and women are getting their bits surgically enhanced.
WTF?
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 1:06pm.
MY giner is stronger than it was before (thank you, Kegels!). I don't ask Mr. Hekki if it's the same, because I don't care. If he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to visit it.
How late AFTER childbirth can you do Kegel exercises go back to a pre-birth vagina?
I gave birth a month ago and though I've been told to do the exercises everyday I've been way too busy taking care of the baby to deal with it... but now I'm starting to get paranoid...
Submitted by annobanano on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 1:45pm.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 1:39pm.
I just looked at some before and after pics and I seriously don't understand WTF they are having done. Mostly looks like trimming some excess skin. Why, why, why would you torture yourself like this? Like you said, find a more appreciative partner.
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It's just another extreme case of women feeling ashamed of themselves if they don't look like an 18 year old in any shape or form. It's actually really sad.
Why the fuck doe these people feel the need to share this stuff?
I miss the 80's.
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Don't you never, ever, pull my lever
Cause I explode
And my nine is easy to load
Although I'm sure the kids NEVER EVER FOREVER needed to know this, I agree with those who said this is to piss off LeAnne because there's no way Eddie paid for this, LeAnn did.
HAHAHAHAHA yeah, that would piss off any I got you because I'm a whore new wife.
Team Brandi on this one.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
At this point, with all the shit to witness with her on TRHW crap and the Twatter war with Falcor and the crap she spews in the Rags....you would be proud to have Pam Anderson as your mom.
Submitted by miz cynical on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 1:35pm.
Part of me is starting to think that she's just making things up just to see how far LeAnne will go to imitate and copy her.
Sadly, she's not that clever. But if she's doing that, then a suicide by hanging is what I would advise next.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 1:39pm.
Hekki -- I was watching this documentary about a young woman who had vaginal surgery because she had been with two guys who had sex with her and complained about her lady bits; they said her gynie didn't look like the poon they'd seen in porno movies. So this poor young woman (she was a kindergarten teacher) goes out and spends a shitload of money she can't afford on vaginal rejuvenation surgery. I feel the way you do. If my man doesn't like it, you don't have to visit it, or I'll find someone who does want to visit it.
***********
How sad that someone would take into account the opinion of douchebags that think all women's privates should look like pornstars. Those bitches have help FFS. *draws a happy face on pussy*
What's the title of the documentary?
Submitted by TexnDoc on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 1:44pm.
If those reupholstered vaginas glowed in the dark, the LA area would light up like Las Vegas seen from outer space:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2269126/An-oasis-light-Amazing-p...
It's the reupholstered capital of the world.
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Wow. It seems like living in Vegas would be horrible! Perpetual twilight and only being able to see one or two stars in the nights sky.....
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j
"I'm doin ho activities, with ho energy. Ho's are my friends, ho's are my enemies."
"He was actually quite vulgar. 'Your twat looks like a collapsed circus tent, OK?' "
I once saw my grandma's vagina....it looked like a sad, melting, gray haired wolf with the tragedy drama face permantely etched on it's face. If I ever have kids or get past 60, i'd have a million surgeries to never have to look like that!
~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j
"I'm doin ho activities, with ho energy. Ho's are my friends, ho's are my enemies."
Hey ladies
When ya man wanna get buck wild
Just go back and hit 'em up style
Get your hands on his cash and
Spend it on a new vag
So it'll never sag
Wise advice for us all.
What the fuck happened to shame?
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 1:15pm.
It is so appropriate that she is at a "glamourous event at McDonald's"!lmao!
I KNOW! That's the funnier part of this story! Were they launching a new snack, so they needed a black tie event & invited these hasbeens?!
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 1:39pm.
I just looked at some before and after pics and I seriously don't understand WTF they are having done. Mostly looks like trimming some excess skin. Why, why, why would you torture yourself like this? Like you said, find a more appreciative partner.
If those reupholstered vaginas glowed in the dark, the LA area would light up like Las Vegas seen from outer space:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2269126/An-oasis-light-Amazing-p...
It's the reupholstered capital of the world.
Submitted by Darknight on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 1:13pm.
HAHAHAHAH
I think she's kidding and just wants to piss off Leanne because you know eddie doesn't pay for his credit card.
So Leanne effectively paid for the ex wife's bag surgery? Fuckin pricked bwahahahahahaha
_______________________
America.. fuck yeah!
Submitted by miz cynical on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 1:35pm.
If I were Brandi the FIRST thing I would've done was to get my vag tested for all the shit that Eddie was bringing home....but that's just me.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
WORD.
She probably just had the blackened, crusty, oozing parts cut off.
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"Men need to like you a little more than you like them" .......... NeNe Leakes
Hekki -- I was watching this documentary about a young woman who had vaginal surgery because she had been with two guys who had sex with her and complained about her lady bits; they said her gynie didn't look like the poon they'd seen in porno movies. So this poor young woman (she was a kindergarten teacher) goes out and spends a shitload of money she can't afford on vaginal rejuvenation surgery. I feel the way you do. If my man doesn't like it, you don't have to visit it, or I'll find someone who does want to visit it.
=======================================================
"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"Two eyes, two eyebrows."
I wonder if she got the Barbie. I always hated both her and Falcor in this whole mess. They just keep proving to the world what pieces of trash they are. Those poor poor kids. Thank god she didn't have girls, though I fear the boys will have serious issues with how they view women.
Please just let this be one big lie just to see if Falcor falls for it and gets her labia chop suyed ala "The Brandi" in her quest for the SWF of the year.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Call LeAnn crazy all you want...in my mind - Brandi is the nuttier of the two.
She's the MOTHER and she engages in this kind of crap? And your vagina isn't "ruined," brandi, you had kids...that's how it works, so your kids ruined it. Is that what you're trying to say?
All she had to do in order to get the sympathy card was just shut her mouth. LeAnn took care of all of that with her twitter nonsense. But Brandi had to open her hole and now she's the one that looks like an absolute child nutball
Loser.
Brandi has some very interesting methods of revenge. First, slashing Eddie's motorcycle tires and now vag rejuvenation. Part of me is starting to think that she's just throwing shit out there and making things up just to see how far LeAnne will go to imitate and copy her.
If I were Brandi the FIRST thing I would've done was to get my vag tested for all the shit that Eddie was bringing home....but that's just me.
Oh, and for you guys that think this is TMI - I had to choke down vomit on Monday night 'cause during RHOBH she admitted that her kid once saw her with a tampon string dangling from her lady bits! Gross! Who the fuck says this on national tv?
Speaking of vagina surgery, I saw an after pic where there was a visible tampon string. WHAT THE FUCK??
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
Submitted by mike on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 1:05pm.
She complains of his vulgarity as she relates this publicly...
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That and he gave her the answer about her vag she wanted to hear, yet she just kept on asking.
After googling this shit, it looks like she paid way too much, or her gina was a train wreck.
Nobody cuts on my gina.... NOBODY!
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"Men need to like you a little more than you like them" .......... NeNe Leakes
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 1:06pm.
Also, if she's that offended by the appearance of wrecked vaginas, I don't get why she made her face look like one.
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THIS!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHH
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Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps. ~ Emo Phillips
How vain and vulgar.