The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For January 31st!

Unlike peons who buy those vulgar cars with factory-made leather seats, Goop's BMW comes with a DIY 'Kill n upholster' kit. - Emeriesan

Runners-up:

The cops could smell the bull from Lindsay's "I wasn't driving the car" excuse from a mile away. - Half Empty

"What? I got ass, grass AND gas." - Sweetas

The new BMW's now run on cows milk instead of gasoline. Unfortunately it's still over 5 bucks a gallon. - LargeMarge

via Break

Posted by: Michael K

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The CAPTION THIS Contest

Submitted by WildGuy on Tue, 02/05/2013 - 1:51pm.

And I thought the cat and muddy prints on the car was a problem.

Submitted by DiamondDogs on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 7:07pm.

Congrats you guys!

Submitted by LargeMarge on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 3:51pm.

Thrilled to be a winner! Thank you.
Is there any candy for prizes? I'm hungry.

Love, LargeMarge

Submitted by slingshooter on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 2:41pm.

Now with leather interior AND exterior!
I always heard warm milk made you sleepy
why is it ALWAYS on BMWs

Submitted by City Barbie on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 1:54pm.

LOL!!! Congrats to all you funny bitches! Hi Sweetass!!! :-)

Submitted by Emeriesan on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 1:34pm.

Yay! Have a good weekend everyone!

Submitted by Sweetas on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 12:17pm.

Yay!! Congrats winners and thanks guys!

Submitted by Deb on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 12:03pm.

Holy cow! Congrats winnahs!

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by turnelbup on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 11:11am.

Woot woot to the winners!
*************
"When in doubt, freak 'em out" -- Sharon Needles

Submitted by OurMissC on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 10:29am.

I knew Sweetas' caption would be a winner! Congrats everybody, these are all great!

"...sometimes sucking on the same dick gets real boring." - MK's eloquent cousin

Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 10:10am.

Congrats SWEET♥ASSS, Em and all the winners!

**************************
"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA

Sucky 12/19

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 9:31am.

Funny!! Well done, all.

Submitted by Tyroan on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 9:20am.

Ridin' herdy

Submitted by jmarietv on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 8:58am.

B M Double Moo

Submitted by kimba933 on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 8:05am.

DAMN, it's cold out! Bitch gotta do what a bitch gotta do to keep warm.

Submitted by flori-duh on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 7:42am.

Since her baby bump pop, Kim Kardashian had to give up riding shotgun and now needs an earth mover to cart her fat ass around LA

It's Miz Vav to you...

Submitted by Sarahnater on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 5:47am.

Yes, Hulk, we get it, you think your daughter, Brooke, is hot. There's no reason to keep tweeting pictures of her on the hood of your car.

Submitted by Craigypants on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 3:51am.

Mariah honey we know you don't do stairs but even you are sinking to a new low by not putting one foot in front of the other.

Submitted by LA me on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 1:59am.

Kourtney K waits to squirt her breast milk on Kim's new car. It's a great wax sealer as well as a psoriasis cream. Wax on Wax off.
***************************************
Why some turds evade the whirlpool...god only knows. They are survivors. The fittest.
- Hysteria

Submitted by LA me on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 1:46am.

MOOOOOving on up...to the East Side!

***************************************
Why some turds evade the whirlpool...god only knows. They are survivors. The fittest.
- Hysteria

Submitted by iamchristinepow on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 1:42am.

Kanye's grill in the original "Through the Wire" video.

Submitted by Bubbly on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 4:32am.

'Mad cow disease' is Blohan's new alibi for skipping court hearings.

Submitted by Whaaaaat on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 1:29am.

Anti-gay rights protesters biggest fear comes to fruition.

Submitted by hellobitchy on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 1:12am.

Clearly Khloe will do anything to stop Lamar from stepping out of their marriage again.

Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 12:31am.

In appreciation for all she's done for their corporate brand, Weight Watchers presents Jessica Simpson with a new car complete with hood ornament crafted in her image.

Submitted by Gonnaburn... on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 12:03am.

The yuppie hunter brings home his kill.

Submitted by OldJoe on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 12:03am.

BMW = Bavarian "Moo!"tor Works

Submitted by LA me on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 11:41pm.

PMK came out to her car and noticed Kloe taking a nap. TMZ camera man caught her saying "something in this milk ain't clean".

***************************************
Why some turds evade the whirlpool...god only knows. They are survivors. The fittest.
- Hysteria

Submitted by LA me on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 11:37pm.

Edited outtakes of Kathy Bates parking lot scene from Fried Green Tomatoes. "Face it, Girls. I'm older and I have MOOOre insurance."

***************************************
Why some turds evade the whirlpool...god only knows. They are survivors. The fittest.
- Hysteria

Submitted by City Barbie on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 11:30pm.

Kris: KHLOE get OFF my new Bentley NOW!!!!

Khloe: Not until you take another lie detector test that I ARRANGE so you can't pay off the fucking examiner!!

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 11:24pm.

G-dammit Kim, you didn't have to do a Pregnancy Calendar shoot.

************************************************
Don't you never, ever, pull my lever
Cause I explode
And my nine is easy to load

Submitted by Darla on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 10:53pm.

BMW = Bovine Mustn't Walk

Submitted by Caramel on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 10:52pm.

Something something Hood milk, can't quite bring it home but there's a joke in there somewhere.

Submitted by Sarahnater on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 10:40pm.

We get it, Hulk - you think Brooke is sexy. No need to tweet pics of her posing on the hood of your car.

Submitted by Homeless J on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 10:35pm.

"I think we need more cow bell!"

Submitted by Jessetastic on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 10:35pm.

Kim surprises Kanye with a risque pregnancy photo shoot.

Submitted by sketts on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 10:33pm.

BMW: Bovine Milk Warmer

Submitted by Homeless J on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 10:29pm.

Adel arrives for her Skyfall rehearsal at the Oscars.

(Hold on. I love Adel. I am overweight too.)

And I'm horny too!

Submitted by Get a life on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 10:18pm.

"Love truely is blind!"

Submitted by Homeless J on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 10:19pm.

And the Oscar goes, for best supporting actress in a leading role, for The Life Of Pi, oh dear, ... bring her in ..."

Submitted by Homeless J on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 10:20pm.

Nine out of ten (Sea) Crest users were offended by the Kow-dahsian's 'Take Over The Ranch' edition.

Submitted by brenlee on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 9:59pm.

Well it sure beats walking..

Submitted by Homeless J on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 9:54pm.

"Hello, Roadside Assistance? I think I've run out of gas. Bring me about 20 bales of hay!"

Submitted by FrigidBarjot on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 9:49pm.

As if one half shitting wasn't enough, the other half of London aka Jeremy with his fuckery : "I am inside a cow holding your car as hostage, if you don't free my brother, I'll shit myself out all over!"

Submitted by Whaaaaat on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 12:17am.

Cash-straped small Wisconsin town comes up with effective substitute for wheel locks for those with multiple parking violations.

Submitted by Homeless J on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 9:44pm.

My hearts calculatin'
My true love will be waitin',
Be waitin' at the end of my ride.

Rawhide!

Submitted by LargeMarge on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 9:40pm.

The new BMW's now run on cows milk instead of gasoline. Unfortunately it's still over 5 bucks a gallon.

Submitted by jicyclo on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 9:34pm.

"Mooovin' on up!" Says the Bavarian Khloe Cowdashian.

Submitted by Homeless J on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 9:31pm.

"Honey, when you're done filling up, can you look for some 2% milk for the kids." "WTF - we can't even milk that!"