Beyonce Releases A Trailer For Her World Tour
Right after Beyonce used the Super Bowl to let us peons know through code that the Illuminati will soon take over and our souls will be trapped in her lace front forever (that's what that triangle sign was, right?), Team Beyonce (aka Basement Baby and a dusty DOS machine) released a ridiculous 60 second commercial for her world tour, which starts on April 15th (Happy American Tax Day!) in Belgrade and closes on August 3rd (Happy National Mustard Day!) at Barclays in Brooklyn.
In the commercial, Beyonce does the same morning ritual that Kanye West does every single day. Kanye's gays-in-waiting dress him in the finest royal regalia and silver leaf his anus before escorting him to an empty room where he just strikes cunt queen pose after cunt queen pose.
Why did Beyonce have to name her tour the "Mrs. Carter Show"? That name does things to me. It gets me excited, because it has me thinking that Lynda Carter has finally made dreams come true by putting together a show where she just spins on stage in her Wonder Woman costume for 90 minutes. How many people do you think are going to show up to Beyonce's show and demand their money back when Lynda Carter does not come on stage in her Wonder Woman costume? MILLIONS! And "The Mrs. Carter Show" also sounds like the name of a drag show starring Aaron Carter.
And here's who should be Beyonce's understudy on the Mrs. Carter Show World Tour:
Bitch lip-synchs better than Beyonce does.
via ONTD
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"always be closing"
The person (Beyonce) is probably clueless.
I feel like I have been stuck with Beyonce for the last 16 years, with the exception of B-Day. I like pop music and I like dancing, and dear lord the dj's are heavy with here in their playlist.
At this point the Brand "Beyonce" is a bowl of weak sauce. All that money and she still comes off cheap?
There is a enough fluoride pumped in the water to make people download, but what the hell is this?
This is not the artist of "our" time. She has fantastic cardio. Hopefully this year is hear bow out.
This commercial sucks prune balls.
Shaq doesn't even match the words hahaha
"Bitch lip-synchs better than Beyonce does." - lmfao.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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PS - That is an ugly wig.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
*fart* There's my view of this trick.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
misslainey - you're right about her personas. A few years ago, it was that Sasha Fierce BS which sounds like something my 5 yr old niece would call herself while using a pillowcase as a cape.
Bitch, Queen Elizabeth I, you are not. Sit the fuck down and go fluff your pillow baby.
Basement Baby should've done the Superbowl instead. OK so she's fug and can't sing and is a prime victim of that cruel Baby Jane sister syndrome, but "Losing You" is way cooler than anything Bee's released in years; one of the best records of last year. You can bet B is pissed Basement is getting all this hipster Pitchfork cred so effortlessly when she had to play the festivals.
So sick of her whole trip and everyone surrounding her. They need to take a year off. This is disgusting. It shows how she sees herself and she's not the best. She's pretty good at several things but she's not the best at anything.
Goddess on a wheel... Ugh. Madonna may not have been blessed with Beyonce's vocal talent or relative privilege, but she was never THIS insufferable! Sometimes I think that the world would be a lot better if Kelly Rowland was the headliner and Beyonce was reduced to co-hosting The Fashion Show with Isaac Mizrahi.
So, is beyonce copying lady gaga or madonna here?
Whatever.
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An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.
Bitch it is not 1990 and you are not Madonna, knock this shit off
Destiny's Child did this elaborate performance on one of those awards show, might have been the grammys, in the early 00's.
It was all big, flashy, they were all wearing those usual tacky costumes and had a screen on the side of the stage with the DC members' faces morphing into each others faces, just all dos muchos. It was basically a lame ass performance with the best part being when a camera panned to the audience caught a glimpse of none other than Madonna yawning and checking out her nails with this look on her face like "is this shit over yet?"
This is why I come to the D for Bouncy posts. This is the one site where no one kisses her ass. Her stans are delusion. They sincerely believe every piece of bullshit that falls out of her mouth. 1 interesting tidbit I saw someone say/multiple e-people back the person up on was that she was a VIRGIN when she married Jay Z. I shit you not.
*shakes head in disbelief/disgust*
Because she is just an old-fashioned girl who wants everyone to know that she belongs to her old man (illuminati are old-timey about that stuff) and you wish you were that lucky, bitch!
This reminds me of when Vadge was calling herself Mrs. What's His Name and that did not end well.
Shouldn't her gargantuan ego have caused her white head to explode by now? how full of herself can she be? Can't stand this bitch.
Shaq clearly does not know all the words!
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
Another copy and paste artist. While the media is going around kissing her ass she is being slammed online. I take Solace in the fact that one day this bitch will end up looking like her fugly mother.
Ps. When did she turn white?
Bitch is all over the place. Sit down, shut up and raise your pillow. I also felt vaguely insulted by the ad and as an O2 customer, it's great to see this is what they waste money on, not better service.
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"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
I gotta say those thighs are almost non existent if you see her in person. It's the weirdest thing...I don't get why she accentuates them to the point where people actually believe she's bootylicious. She ain't - she's a skinny bitch.
Submitted by letinstar on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 11:22am.
i know bouncey works hard for the money and the illuminati, but i am so tired of looking at her thighs...
That ad is horrific. Like she's a slave to him or something.
Anyway I'm gonna go to the Berlin concert even though I will have just started my teacher's prep service and those fuckers in the German government don't allow any fun time during this time. Suck it.
Beyonce is starting to make Mimi look modest.
VOB, glad someone else saw it that way!
I sometimes read your posts in the am from the night before.
Keeping an eye on your recovery. Prayers to you.(I hope you don't mind)
edit: I remember that Vogue from MTV. She is quite the entertainer.
Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 12:48pm.
If I hear one more fucking thing about Beyonce today, I'm going to hunt her down, and slaughter Jay-z and her fucking kid while she watches.
Or you could just get your fucking ass off the internet for five minutes and go get some fresh air, idiot.
Oh for fuck's sake! If I hear one more fucking thing about Beyonce today, I'm going to hunt her down, and slaughter Jay-z and her fucking kid while she watches.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Every couple of years she creates a new persona. Now it's Mrs. Carter (and is it just me or was that locket with Mr. Carter's face scary and ugly as sin?) and next year it will be Blue's Mama, followed by BB's Sister and Tina's Daughter.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 11:21am.
Y'all are such haters! The costuming and the skin lightening are just there to remind you of her Creole heritage!
Swear to God I thought the same thing when I saw this.
Fed up with this dumb over exposed bitch..
Oh, and what I got from that trailer was, "Let them eat cake."
And I hope when she was in New Orleans, she prattled on about how "Creole" she is, and received a thousand rolled eyes.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Pushy... Speaking of Vogue. Right down to the door... Original idea please.
http://youtu.be/lTaXtWWR16A
Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR
I wait eagerly for the day when she becomes the next JeLo.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Question...did she not just state in that GQ article about how women, even though they are married,should still be financially,artistically and sexually independent and not let men control your sexually or have all the power or whatever? Yet, she names HER tour the"Mrs. Carter Tour"? His her husband footing the bill for it or something? How matronly of her.
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
Hekki - "hairography schtick"! Yes! That's the phrase that I'm going to use when it comes to her fucking hair whipping shit that she calls dancing!
UGh! Sa majesté est tired of that tacky pute.
Letinstar - I'm with you, I'm tired of seeing her thighs, too. It's not like she has amazing legs like Tina Turner or something. Put it away.
Also, the jester/dj guy - I'm not sure, but that looks offensive to me somehow. Can't quite put my finger on it, but it looks...odd. Not avant-garde or bad ass or whatever the fuck they think that they're capable of doing, but just...off.
Well, this is more about the halftime show, but it does cover a lot of ground:
"Beyoncé is a thief of others art and does the same tired three girls booty popping in leather to hairography schtick every fucking time."
Someone said this on Gawker, and YES. She's a content aggregator.
Submitted by Bigbendy on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 11:16am.
No one does it as well Annie
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y25stK5ymlA
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agreed.
rotten apples and oranges here (Bouncy being the apple of course) Annie is in a class all her own and Bouncy is a boring robotic shrieking hack.
Hey I'll take Beyonce posts over Kartrashian posts any day. At least the woman can sing and dance and is entertaining. It's fun to snark but we have to remember it's all relative. At least we didn't see one "reality star" at the Superbowl!
Submitted by skinny fat on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 10:58am.
typical nouveau riche - everything Mr. & Mrs. Carter do is always so over the top ostentatious so they make sure we know they are very very very very rich. Nothing like new money - you can ALWAYS tell.
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The truth has been spoken. Can't stand this tacky, narcisstic ho.
i know bouncey works hard for the money and the illuminati, but i am so tired of looking at her thighs...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Y'all are such haters! The costuming and the skin lightening are just there to remind you of her Creole heritage!
When will she and her ugly husband disappear? When?
No one does it as well Annie
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y25stK5ymlA
I suppose she "entertained" the millions last night but when I was watching it, all I got was a giant Vogue shoot with singing and dancing. The way she was mugging/posing for the camera was really distracting to me. GMC had not one but 2 stories on her. eyeroll
Kelly and Michelle's Mics were turned down just like the good ol' days of DC3 , I noticed that shit when I was 15!
This bleached delusional bitch is only fooling the lowest common denominators, cant wait till they are broke and living in Jersey .
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Don't start none and the'll be none.
Submitted by miz cynical on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 10:32am.
Ugh! Enough of her already! Icant be the only one, right? I'm hoping that her over-exposure these past several weeks work against her.
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You're not. By the time the game started, I was tired of hearing about her. To be honest, she sounded bad at a few parts, and WTF with Kelly and Michelle's microphones being turned down? Even the guys I was watching it with last night, who know nothing about pop music or gossip, were like "so are they turned down or is Beyonce just turned up to 11?"
Fuck that mess. The only Mrs. Carter I want to see is MRS. NELL CARTER.
"Submitted by TexnDoc: "IN THIS ECONOMY how tone deaf do you have to be to ham it up as Marie Antoinette? Maybe the French will do the world a favor and behead her."
Hopefully.
And I think this economy is the best time for her to show off. She can really rub it in and make it hurt.
Best moment is when she puts her brown hand over her white face. Just like Lil Kim! LMFPO.
Also from the A-List Gossip vintage gossip:
"Beyonce. "An excellent tipper." Linked with Kobe Bryant, Eminem, 50 Cent, Mekhi Phifer, Shemar Mor, Mos Def, Nelly, and Jay-Z."
"Jay-Z. Bi______. Nice guy. Reported to be HIV+. Linked with Beyonce."
"Bryant, Kobe. ...Linked with Beyonce (who he described as boring in bed--classy, Kobe, very classy)."
We hope there will be many dancing pillows!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
typical nouveau riche - everything Mr. & Mrs. Carter do is always so over the top ostentatious so they make sure we know they are very very very very rich. Nothing like new money - you can ALWAYS tell.