This Bitch Again: Donald Trump Sues Bill Maher For $5 Million
When the talking fart bubble out of Jabba the Hutt's ass known as Donald Trump publicly told President Obama that he'd give $5 million to the president's charity of choice if the president produced his college records and shit, Bill Maher jokingly threw a proposition at Trump. On The Tonight Show last month, Bill Maher said that he'd give $5 million to Trump's charity of choice if Trump proved that his mother didn't make him by screwing an orangutan bareback-style. Bill Maher basically said that Trump's hair looks like an orangutan's dirty ass, so he wouldn't be surprised if his biological father was an ape. Makes sense to me!
Donald Trump says that he has coughed up a copy of his birth certificate that says he is the father of Fred Trump, a human person, and Bill Maher hasn't paid up. So Trump filed a lawsuit in L.A. today to get that $5 million. Trump queefed out this statement to Politco:
“I don’t know whether this case will be won or lost, but I felt a major obligation to bring it on behalf of the charities. Bill Maher made an unconditional offer while offer while on The Jay Leno Show and I, without hesitation, accepted his offer and provided him with the appropriate documentation. Prior demands for payment went ignored by Mr. Maher despite the fact that the beneficiaries of this suit will ultimately be the charities […] who would share equally the $5 million — something I am certain they can desperately use."
Trump wants to donate the money to the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, American Cancer Society, Hurricane Sandy Victims, March of Dimes and the Police Athletic League. Trump also said on Fox & Friends this morning that he doesn't think Bill Maher was joking when he made the bet. Trump's lawyers couldn't be reached for comment, because their mouths were otherwise occupied with the act of laughing at how he keeps throwing stupid money at them.
In related news, orangutans everywhere have filed a class action lawsuit against Bill Maher for defamation for saying that Donald Trump is part their species. Gloria Allred is representing them and they will win.
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These are two people that should be voted off the Island.
@LunaChick - I don't think it you get a tax write off for a charitable donation if it is actually a civil court settlement payment haha. Trump kinda owned him on this one.
What the hell is wrong with everyone...it was a fucking joke by a prick comedian. What has this country come to when those who are known to be comediennes cant even make a stupid joke without everyone yelling lawsuits and defamation. How can anyone be on Trumps team on this one??? Weird!
Televised
So if instead you insert the name of Obama rather than Trump, is it still a joke?
Hmmmmmm.......
PFk thanks for the links. Damn what a difference a few years makes!
I remember reading this from many years ago:
It looks like hip-hop video vixen Karrine Steffans - who claims in an upcoming book to have gotten up close and personal with everyone from Vin Diesel to Shaquille O'Neal - is spending some real time with Bill Maher. "He makes me happy," the 26-year-old Steffans told Daily News contributor Jawn Murray yesterday about her 49-year-old manfriend, the comic host of HBO's political talk show "Real Time With Bill Maher." Maher couldn't be reached for comment, but Steffans added: "He will be my date at the BET Awards on June 28
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I thought that was suspect because Maher has had issues with women. One sued for palimony but lost. Maher is a smug asshole!
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
so a COMEDIAN says that you are half non-human ape - something that is genetically impossible and therefore likely to be an effin' JOKE - and you guys think the comedian should be legally and financially liable?
talk shows are going to be EXTREMELY boring if comedians are held liable for jokes.
yeah, both of these guys are narcissistic assholes but if Trump can't take a "your mama" joke, especially after all the lies he's been spreading about Obama (which, apparently, no one is trying to hold *him* accountable for), he needs to just crawl back into his hole.
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God don't like ugly.
YAWN! These two need to knock this shit off already. Both are greedy rich pricks that would rather give the money to the two dollar hooker down the street rather then a charity.
I don't care if he was being sarcastic. Maher needs to cough up the money. It's for charity, so he can use it as a tax write off. If you can't back up your words, don't say them.
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"We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"
I hope Mr. Trump enjoys being sanctioned and paying legal fees. His attorneys should be ashamed of themselves.
Sarah Smile
Trump no matter what, the hair's still bad! Maher really needs to shut up already. No editing from that infected brain.
Just because it says someone is your father on your birth certificate doesn't make ot true. Ask Liv Tyler or Daisy Lowe. You know that Maher is going to demand a DNA test to make sure.
Still, I feel like this joke.... It's not only a bit outdated, but Stephen Colbert already did it, and much better, too. I admit, I'm not a huge Maher fan (particularly recently.), but he can be funny and this... This was lame. It's not a joke worth this fallout or even any air time.
Please, Dr Freud, help us out. We desperately need to see Casper [the Friendly Ghost] fuck his mother! --- Cinema Snob
*****crosses fingers tightly, whilst pleading with Bill Maher to name Elanenergy his favorite charity************
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
Stan Hooper - a few links for you, haha:
http://crunkttest.wordpress.com/2007/11/01/yadda-yadda-yadda-2/
http://www.zimbio.com/Cara+Santa+Maria/articles/qUY2-zm4iY1/Cara+Santa+M...
Pay close attention to the last sentence in that second link! Lol.
Maher - it will be cheaper to write a check to a charity than to some attorneys.
Trump - stop looking like a simian.
Trump needs to go crawl under a rock somewhere and stay there.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
Donald Trump amuses me. He is constantly making an ass out of himself, yet doesn't seem to care. He can run his mouth all he wants and make tons of threats, but at the end of the day no one really takes him seriously. Except for the has-beens on Celebrity Apprentice (Which I love).
2 giant twitching assholes...although maher amuses me on occassion...i would be ok if these two cancel each other out...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
This is what happens when you have a desperate attention whore with absolutely no sense of humor.
Maher seems like a Grade A asshole, but he does make me laugh. He should donate the money anyway. He obviously has cash to burn, didn't he give $20 million to the evil Wilpon family to become part-owner of the Mets?
i'm mostly offended that the oragutan was dragged into this...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
I saw that on Real Time IT WAS A FUCKING JOKE but this asshole should take it as a compliment most people thing Donald is was worse than a orangutan, more like a smarmy, vile pig/cockroach monster hybrid so this is a step up....it was a joke in the vein of the Presidents heritage, fucking take a joke Donald you massive turd
If there were any true justice in this world, both Trump and Maher would be tied up and forced to watch as their fortunes were liquidated and distributed to this country's poor working parents for the medical care and education of their children.
As it is, no sane judge would entertain this farce of a "lawsuit" for one second.
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I swear, sometimes good dick is a thing of evil. - Michael K 1/16/13
And I would really like to know what is so wrong with Trump, someone who is being deeply affected by the policies (as we all are but only the few who are being sucked dry at this time see it) of a man who flies all the way to Las Vegas just to make a 5 minute teleprompter speech on amnesty and the evil Republicans instead of staying in D.C. and working out a budget and a plan for our country's financial future, asking to see a very important aspect of our President's history and doing it in a way that makes it very obvious the man is hiding something. Or a bunch of somethings. That's why Maher felt the need to say what he did because God knows the media's main job is not to vet our candidates for president. Their job is to smear one and suck the cock of the other so that our New God with the Marxist atheist parents will ensure all of those babies the Maher's of the world impregnate will get their free abortions.
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what a retarded pile of crap. ur an idiot
Trump will lose and dragging charities in the suit was lowbrowed. So tacky! Judge will toss it.
As for Maher, doesn't he date that Video Vixen who wrote in her book that he was the best boyfriend. A real gentleman. Shocked the hell out of me! Maher seems smarmy but i guess he treats his bed freaks right? Who knew??
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Submitted by vsminimoose on Tue, 02/05/2013 - 5:35am.
Doesn't anyone on his team or even family ever pull him to the side and say "Hey, you're being a fucking retard about all of this, have some dignity and shut the fuck up!" ?
It wouldn't matter if they did or not; the guy's such an arrogant douche nozzle that he wouldn't listen to what they said anyway...
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Both of these whiny bitches need to go stand in a corner asap. Fucking children.
*Crackie is growing up*
I'd find this funny if it weren't so fucking ignorant. Maher will have to pay a fortune to defend this bogus suit. I hope it's killed stat.
Trump is coming up on the final bend of his life.....does he really want to die as a national joke?
Doesn't anyone on his team or even family ever pull him to the side and say "Hey, you're being a fucking retard about all of this, have some dignity and shut the fuck up!" ?
Oh right, Suzy Farkis!! I recall that show now! The audience(tough crowd) weren't all that receptive to Maher's droning and jokes.
Theyre both tools. Maher is a mysoginist ahole, trump is an attention whore blow hard. They should both donate five mill and stfu
I love orangutans.
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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
It was a joke. On Leno. I know, hard to believe a joke might actually occur on that show, but the context alone is why the case will be thrown out.
The orangutan looks the happiest and cheeriest of the three! Team monkey :-)
Every time donnie bad hair opens his mouth, he shows again and again what an arrogant douche he is. This is the guy the Republican party awarded the "Statesman of the Year" award to? Shows what a bunch of assholes he & they are. I hope every newspaper excoriates him on the front page...
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"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
So he will sue Bill Maher but he won't let Stephen Colbert dip his balls in his mouth for charity? Tsk tsk Donald, I guess you don't really care about charity after all.
Well, I can't say I particularly like any one of these emotionally stunted, self-important tools.
And an orangutan is much more evolved (and better looking) than that anal fissure Trump! C'mon.
Bill shouldn't give the money, Trump shouldn't sue. The president, by executive order, should have them both taken to the Middle East and traded for hostages.
I don't like Trump but at least he owns being a diva wearing a ferret on his head.
Isn't Maher the one who called the 9/11 terrorists heros? Not sure about the quotes but I do recall him calling them brave and admired that they weren't cowards.
I never found him funny before that and I certainly cannot stand him now.
Team no one really, but if I have to choose I'd go with ferret head.
I'm on Trump's side. Why SHOULD he let that insult pass? If Maher has monkeyballs enough to insult somebody, he should have monkeyballs enough to face the consequences.
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Steven Tyler does White Oprah drag better than White Oprah does White Oprah drag. - MK
yes because god knows we are years away from having the technology that would allow the fucking president of the mother fucking united states to work from fucking United States One or a hotel room
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
@within - imo he has standing problems as well as problems with his "legal theory" re: how CA law would treat that type of "promise." not every promise is legally enforceable...
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Michael, I understand you probably looked long and hard for that picture of Trump to post alongside Maher's usual smug face but I'm sorry - they both look like orangutans.
And I would really like to know what is so wrong with Trump, someone who is being deeply affected by the policies (as we all are but only the few who are being sucked dry at this time see it) of a man who flies all the way to Las Vegas just to make a 5 minute teleprompter speech on amnesty and the evil Republicans instead of staying in D.C. and working out a budget and a plan for our country's financial future, asking to see a very important aspect of our President's history and doing it in a way that makes it very obvious the man is hiding something. Or a bunch of somethings. That's why Maher felt the need to say what he did because God knows the media's main job is not to vet our candidates for president. Their job is to smear one and suck the cock of the other so that our New God with the Marxist atheist parents will ensure all of those babies the Maher's of the world impregnate will get their free abortions.
Can you imagine if it were GWB refusing to show all that Obama won't show?
Submitted by oh dave on Tue, 02/05/2013 - 1:27am.
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Wonder if Bill took the time to send the joke in writing? The orangutan part is true though, maybe Trumpo's mad about that. LOL
@Foxxy, is the show transcript binding? ha
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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this dumb shit will be dismissed early in the law and motion proceedings. Trump is really starting to reek of desperation
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
I think Maher should pay. You can't say you were joking, even if you were, when you make an offer like that. I haven't seen the offer itself though.
Submitted by caffeinecrazed on Tue, 02/05/2013 - 12:49am.
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Of course he was being sarcastic. Anyway, Trumpo, could just reach in his pocket and give his charity the 5 mill if it's so important to him. The fact he pulled out his birth certificate is tacky as shit! He obviously has time on his hands if he's taking time out of his day to bicker with people like this... Oh, I forgot, attention whore. *slaps forehead*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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ITA. He's the biggest attention whore of them all.
Didn't he say that if Trumptastic could produce a valid BC, that would basically validate Obama's BC?
Not that it matters. Assholery 102.
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Legendary.
The apprentice was a big failure before they decided to try the celebrity shit.... I was hoping that shit would have been canceled so this loser would be prime time tv..
That bag of asshair will do anything to make people pay attention to him.
Louder and dumber are not positive traits donald. Go buy yourself a personality.
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Surfing the apocalypse.
@mzcynical --
My brother's (now ex) longterm girlfriend dated Mr. Maher. He refers to her as 'Vera' in one of the books. She said there was one thing that mattered in the relationship: Bill. He really messed with her head, then turns around and exploits their relationship in his book. Any speculation that he's a misogynist would seem to be true, in other words.
T'was a real shame, because I'd been a fan up until then.
@rande sleepover -- I love your new avatar. Gorgeous!
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"Not judging or being gossipy on Dlisted is like when I go to a hotel with a bag of dildos and I get stoned and wind up using the bed to watch Judge Judy and that's it." -- SFRBully, 1/24/2013