UPDATE: Dr. Blossom's 4-Year-Old Son Is Done Breastfeeding
Last April, Mayim Bialik (professional name: Dr. Blossom) told the readers of her blog and then told everyone else about how her 3 and a half year old son Fred was still slurping leche out of her nipples. Dr. Blossom is all about attachment parenting, so she said at the time that she's going to let Fred nurse on her chichis for as long as he wants. Some pictured a 21-year-old Fred sitting at a bar and ordering a cup of vodka before asking Dr. Blossom to squirt her leche into it so he can have a White Russian. But Frank won't be enjoying a night cap from her nipple when he's 30, because Dr. Blossom announced on her site today that he has quit her tit!
Dr. Blossom writes that Fred first quit weaning at night and then around Thanksgiving, they had their last breastfeeding moment together. Some days when Dr. Blossom looks down at her rigatoni nipples, she misses it a little:
As I sat on the couch in the very room where he was born four years and three months prior, he latched on happily and only nursed for a minute or two that day, since toddler nursings tend to not be long at all, especially when they start spreading them out by several days. He typically nursed from both sides since I was prone to clogged ducts for most of our nursing relationship, and it became our habit to make sure both sides were nursed on.
That day, though, he was distracted by his older brother shouting something, laughing, playing in the next room. His big blue eyes with the impossibly long tapered lashes darted around and settled on the next room, the source of the voice, his beloved older brother who himself had nursed two years and change. The world beyond my breast was calling, and he hopped off of my lap and ran to the world waiting for him.
That was the last time Fred nursed. I wanted to shout after him, “Choo-Choo, you forgot the other side!” But I didn’t. I held my tongue and watched him go. My big boy. In jeans. With a big boy haircut, finally, after years of golden locks begging for either an upsheren (ritual first haircut at age 3) or a Farrah Fawcett photo shoot. Fred was done nursing. Fred weaned. Sweet baby Fred who cared for me as I cared for him: we made it.
Fred did not ask about nursing for weeks after that day. And it wasn’t until much more recently–it’s been three months now since he nursed–that he asked to nurse. But now when he asks, he knows it’s funny. That he’s a big boy. That he doesn’t drink nummies anymore.
He’s done. Fred weaned.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss being able to latch him on and make it all better. We have other ways to soothe Fred now.
I always felt like it's her kid and her chichis, so whatever. Besides, who am I to judge? I think I've said this before, but I was a thumbsucker until the third grade. Bitches used to make fun of my thumbsucking ways, so I would suck my thumb under my desk. And yes, I realize that I just set myself up for a perfect joke, so have at it.
So congratulations to Fred! Congratulations to Dr. Blossom! Congratulation to Dr. Blossom's tits! And congratulations to all of us for knowing this!
And according to Urban Dictionary, "nummies" is when you feel a numbing sensation on your gums after rubbing coke on them. So now I'm picturing a 4-year-old rubbing coke on his gums. ("Awww, I remember when I taught Lindsay how to do that. Memories!" - White Oprah)
via ONTD
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I've only been nursing for 5 weeks, can't imagine doing it for 4 years!!
Shit, I can barely imagine doing it for another 6 months...
On the one hand, we Americans are a bit squeamish about breastfeeding and I have no idea why; but on the other hand, why do people feel the need to blab every intimate detail of their lives? Are there that many unalidated people in the world? If Dr. Blossom likes breastfedding her kid at 4, I love it. I just don't need to read about it.
I don't understand why people who don't breastfeed get so defensive about it and give their life story. If you didn't choose to, okay then. If you didn't make enough milk, then okay. But why attack those who do breastfeed? So gross.
Aw, he's weaned. Well good for them I reckon.
My kid got 3 weeks worth of breast feeding, and then I had to have my appendix out and couldn't breast feed for 10 days because of the anesthesia and antibiotics, and so my milk dried up. Honestly, I was glad to have a reason not to do it anymore. I hated the way it felt, plus it made me SLEEPY. The lactation consultant at the hospital was like "oh that's normal, it's just your hormones helping you relax." I was like no bitch, I am not "relaxed," it feels like I've been gassed and all I want is for someone to get this baby a safe distance away before I swirl out and drop him/fall asleep on top of him. So yeah. No titty leche for my little poop. He seems to be doing fine on the formula though so I ain't worried about it.
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I swear, sometimes good dick is a thing of evil. - Michael K 1/16/13
*projectile vomits*
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by winniwins on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 9:05pm.
Militant Lactivism.
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HAHAHA Is her PhD in granola? *shakes head no, it's in neuroscience*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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If she'd encouraged her husband more than her sons, she might still be married.
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"Lord help us all! Jesus take the bedazzled wheel." ~~MK
I could care less if she wants that kid on her tit till he is in double digits. But why does she need to tell the whole world? Nobody gives a shit bitch. Keep your parenting business to yourself.
I can just see her turning up at lunch time and letting her kid hop on her tit to quench his thirst.
:-D
Is it rather funny she's sitting under an advert that reads, "grab some buds?"
God, she's so maternal.
Submitted by panhandler on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 9:24pm.
Twice.
Submitted by panhandler on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 9:24pm.
Someone got that thing pregnant?
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Her mustache isn't as prominent as usual in this picture.
But Dirk, 4yrs+ ain't no toddler.
"I take offense, however, at the implication that there's something inappropriate about breastfeeding a toddler..."
snark is good.
I have some news for Dr. Blossom. 4-year-olds are not toddlers. They are preschoolers. Letting a 4 year old breastfeed is disgusting.
gross.
snark is good.
Ultimately it's up to the mother to decide, whether to breastfeed or not, and until when. I take offense, however, at the implication that there's something inappropriate about breastfeeding a toddler. Yes, both the mother and the child will find this intimacy rewarding, psychologically and physically. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that!
Oh fucking barf already, Bitch get over yourself.
@ Hairy Back Mary:
my thoughts exactly. fucking creepy as shit.
Someone got that thing pregnant?
i don't have a political stance about this thing.
she's the mother, she's not breaking any laws...do you ma, who cares!
my THREE MONTH OLD grew what felt were tiny razors in her mouth (the dentist said they were teeth...tomato, PIRANHA) i said "PEACE OUT CUPCAKE, YOU'RE ON UR OWN!!!"
my only child attempted to mutilate me (that's my story & i'm stickin'!) i properly proceeded to find an alternative milk that didn't make me hurl...can't remember that far back (she's in college)...think it was 'Carnation Good Start' then sent her on her way NOT to deform my areolas.
what i will say is that the U.S. Military need to profile these bitches 'cause i think these women are the toughest of the tough...the bravest of the brave, the true and the proud. let's send them to the lines, 'cause CLEARLY these broads are desensitized to the worst of pains. (seriously dude, image Gollum's razor sharp teeth on your balls...biting and sucking. uh, yeah.)
take THAT Al-Qaida! ;-)
I'm sorry, if you want to have babies and let them suck on your boobs, that's fine, it's your prerogative. But her almost poetic way of articulating it here, makes me want to dry heave.
No point is valid unless you call people ignorant bitches.
I breastfed my son for two months. My work schedule plus housework and shit didn't really leave time for pumping. My daughter wasn't breastfed at all. My kids are both healthy, and smart as fuck. How kids grow up has much more to do with their environment then whether or not they were breastfed.
People need to just let people do what they feel is best. Because honestly...no one really cares that much.
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There might have been a time when I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life
"The world beyond my breast was calling." Jeezis fuck. The smells less like healthy parenting and more like self-absorption. Ech.
I hate Boob Nazis. When a kid can eat solids just fine, there is not a need to BF. You can still cuddle and comfort your kid without popping a boob in its mouth.
Four?? Aye, well, this won't disappear or ever be brought up when he reaches high school or college. And the entry seems all about her reactions to it than his really, which is, perhaps, the most telling thing.
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"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
Hi VOB! How's tricks? I hope your health is good? Don't mean to treat this like the OP, but just saying hi.
Militant Lactivism.
Didn't breastfeed my son because I chose not to. More power to you if you go that route. BUT, after a year doesn't it get tiresome?
I remember an old episode of Ricki Lake I think, with a lady breastfeeding her 12 year old daughter...blech! And the girl said "It tastes like peaches."
@ Que.. Bopping into thread... These are too funny...:))
Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR
Thanks, Blossom, for proving that over-the-top parenting is more about the mother's needs than her child's.
Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 8:50pm.
Boredasfuckyo Honey: the reason why she's publicizing it is because there is SO MUCH IGNORANCE on the topic. I can't find fault with that.
I can understand, however, that some people are uncomfortable with the topic (for whatever reason).
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Oh, so breast feeding her kid till he's 4 is fine...yet divorcing and making him split his time between two homes is totes okay...Which I'm not ragging on, however, it just goes to prove no one is a fucking perfect parent. I don't think it's ignorance, I think it's choice, people have differing opinions when it comes to parenting their kids. Some women aren't capable of breastfeeding, are you saying they are less or bad mothers for not being able to do so? It's not education when you give tmi.
There is no ONE right way to be a parent, and having your kid suckle on your teat until a few of their permanent teeth come in doesn't a future successful child make, just like a kid raised on formula doesn't mean it's gonna grow up to be a failure, and no one needs a dumb stuck up pretentious hippy bitch who thinks she's mother fucking earth and can't keep her own marriage together, airing her tits on the topic. Kthx.
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"you chickens need to go back to the coup, you need to lay some fucking eggs and do your fucking job, you scrambled ass bitch!"-Shane Dawson
Whamo - my husband thought the bitty sketches were a scream, but I always kinda cringe-laugh at them! But I loved the ones where David Walliams lusted after the granny, and my husband found those ones too perverted!!! We'd always laugh at Walliams creepy characters like Mr Man & Ray McCooney!!
Submitted by oh dave on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 8:48pm.
Lol..I can't say I'd blame him.
Boredasfuckyo Honey: the reason why she's publicizing it is because there is SO MUCH IGNORANCE on the topic. I can't find fault with that.
I can understand, however, that some people are uncomfortable with the topic (for whatever reason).
Pretty Hate Machine, He is probably going to run off into the forest to live with the animals soon anyway.
I'm sure the kid will appreciate all of his friends reading about this on the internet in a few years.
Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 8:44pm.
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Calm your tits, hoe, no one would give a fuck if she kept her "parenting" practices to herself.
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"you chickens need to go back to the coup, you need to lay some fucking eggs and do your fucking job, you scrambled ass bitch!"-Shane Dawson
DirkDiggler you're right about Monsanto.
No more nummies for Fred. My last piece of innocence died today.
You make me hate my hips! I hate my hips!
Lots of these things are cultural (or whatever) but this is just weird and when a person is famous and then they aren't famous and then they are famous for something like this I always get the "Munchausen by proxy" vibe. Why can't she just post pics of her cat wanting a cheezburger or her tits like every other attention whore?
You ignorant bitches need to calm down. There's a reason why milk is being produced for as long as there's demand. It is simply meant to be a supplemental food intake for the growing toddler. And I'll tell you something: a mother's milk is 100x healthier than Monsanto's HGH shit.
Submitted by que cochina on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 8:21pm.
Deb - I know you're a Python fan. Have you ever seen the Little Britain"bitty" sketches? OMG! Hilarious in a disturbing way!
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I LOVE those "bitty" sketches, they are some extremely uncomfortably funny bits that's for sure!
"But I want BITTY" lol!!!
Deb, too many faves with the original Little Britain. Watch it if you can, lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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This chick needs Stacy and Clint-en STAT!
Nanners! Congrats! Mee too! want to be Park Pals? LOL
Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR
Again since I have no kids and have no clue but this sounds extremely weird to me. I think breast feeding is a wonderful natural thing and I'm not sure at what age it goes from natural to nutty and at what age it goes from helping a healthy mind to hindering it but to me she seems to have long passed that age. Having said all that just the way she wrote that makes me think this kid is going to have all sorts of issues with his mother and I'll bet dollars to doughnuts she's going to unhealthly insert her way into the rest of his living days! Lol, wow
que cochina - I found it! LMAO!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhaWGwOUJ3g
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
No one cares bitch, you're not mother earth. Fuck off!
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"you chickens need to go back to the coup, you need to lay some fucking eggs and do your fucking job, you scrambled ass bitch!"-Shane Dawson