UPDATE: Dr. Blossom's 4-Year-Old Son Is Done Breastfeeding
Last April, Mayim Bialik (professional name: Dr. Blossom) told the readers of her blog and then told everyone else about how her 3 and a half year old son Fred was still slurping leche out of her nipples. Dr. Blossom is all about attachment parenting, so she said at the time that she's going to let Fred nurse on her chichis for as long as he wants. Some pictured a 21-year-old Fred sitting at a bar and ordering a cup of vodka before asking Dr. Blossom to squirt her leche into it so he can have a White Russian. But Frank won't be enjoying a night cap from her nipple when he's 30, because Dr. Blossom announced on her site today that he has quit her tit!
Dr. Blossom writes that Fred first quit weaning at night and then around Thanksgiving, they had their last breastfeeding moment together. Some days when Dr. Blossom looks down at her rigatoni nipples, she misses it a little:
As I sat on the couch in the very room where he was born four years and three months prior, he latched on happily and only nursed for a minute or two that day, since toddler nursings tend to not be long at all, especially when they start spreading them out by several days. He typically nursed from both sides since I was prone to clogged ducts for most of our nursing relationship, and it became our habit to make sure both sides were nursed on.
That day, though, he was distracted by his older brother shouting something, laughing, playing in the next room. His big blue eyes with the impossibly long tapered lashes darted around and settled on the next room, the source of the voice, his beloved older brother who himself had nursed two years and change. The world beyond my breast was calling, and he hopped off of my lap and ran to the world waiting for him.
That was the last time Fred nursed. I wanted to shout after him, “Choo-Choo, you forgot the other side!” But I didn’t. I held my tongue and watched him go. My big boy. In jeans. With a big boy haircut, finally, after years of golden locks begging for either an upsheren (ritual first haircut at age 3) or a Farrah Fawcett photo shoot. Fred was done nursing. Fred weaned. Sweet baby Fred who cared for me as I cared for him: we made it.
Fred did not ask about nursing for weeks after that day. And it wasn’t until much more recently–it’s been three months now since he nursed–that he asked to nurse. But now when he asks, he knows it’s funny. That he’s a big boy. That he doesn’t drink nummies anymore.
He’s done. Fred weaned.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss being able to latch him on and make it all better. We have other ways to soothe Fred now.
I always felt like it's her kid and her chichis, so whatever. Besides, who am I to judge? I think I've said this before, but I was a thumbsucker until the third grade. Bitches used to make fun of my thumbsucking ways, so I would suck my thumb under my desk. And yes, I realize that I just set myself up for a perfect joke, so have at it.
So congratulations to Fred! Congratulations to Dr. Blossom! Congratulation to Dr. Blossom's tits! And congratulations to all of us for knowing this!
And according to Urban Dictionary, "nummies" is when you feel a numbing sensation on your gums after rubbing coke on them. So now I'm picturing a 4-year-old rubbing coke on his gums. ("Awww, I remember when I taught Lindsay how to do that. Memories!" - White Oprah)
via ONTD
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Most other cultures BF much later than we do, so it's fairly normal in both developing and developed countries.
Compared to the natural history of our closest ape cousins, we can extrapolate a natural end to nursing at 5 or 6.
As for her doing it for her self. So what? All parents do that with one thing or another.
Conveniently weaned just in time to coincide with Dr. Blossom's divorce and hot new look.
*gives Sasha Obama side eye*
We're going to give you a fair trial- followed by a first class hanging."- Silverado
Hey que cochina! No I haven't seen Little Britian, but I've heard of it. I'll see if I can find the "bitty" sketches on Youtube.
Yeah, I worship at the Monty Python altar. In my studio,I have a framed picture of them in their "Holy Grail" costumes! I actually learned English English from them.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
i have two kids around that age. gross.
natural natural yadda. still: gross.
also, the attachment parents are soooo all, "it works for us. it"s just our thing. no judgement." right, blossom. that's why you ladies always throw in details about homebirths, etc. we get it, you and ricki lake are awesome and superior. whatever. my son'll get laid more. thanks.
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watching hardcore ufos
Deb - I know you're a Python fan. Have you ever seen the Little Britain"bitty" sketches? OMG! Hilarious in a disturbing way!
BREAKING NEWS! I am also weaned.
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
Oyster, I'm so sorry for what you and your mother went through. Sounds like you got through it all ok.
I understand breast milk's many nutritional and immune system benefits. But I'll bet that the one-on-one interaction between mother and baby is also a factor for higher intelligence.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I'm sorry, but if your child can walk and talk, breastfeeding at that age is borderline incestuous. Toddlers, especially boys, begin to develop a sense of playful arousal at that age (that's why you always see little boys running around with their hands down their pants) and sucking on mommy's breast is treading confusing/awkward territory. I'll never forget working as a hostess, I was seating a large family and all of a sudden a boy of about three or four got up from the table walked over to the mom, lifted up her shirt and went to town in front of the whole restaurant. It was very weird. I'M def FOR breastfeeding, but not this style. Just my opinion.
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
Cngaf.
But well done MK, "studies" show that covert thumbsuckers make expert D swallowers later in life. ;)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
I breastfed both of my kids for exactly one year.
when you're old enough to eat a burger and fries, you should not be breastfed,and fuck the hippies.
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You might find The Hoff in a bar
or in Germany with a guitar.
He might do a dance
in shiny black pants,
but at least he can talk to his car.
Her sons are doomed to a life of clinging Mommy.
My father breast fed until he was 5. His mother was crazy. He was an only child and had a nearly Oedipal relationship with my grandmother. Love - hate. In fact, he passed away around a month after she died and is buried with her.
Yeah, he was fucked up. Duh.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I nursed my youngest til he was 2 . Don't know why it took so long to wean him, and if I wouldn't have put a stop to it, he would probably still suck happily on ma boobs now at age 11.
No wonder they got divorced, her ex waited for four years to latch on without having to fight off the kid.
GG.. At 4? The kids just call him smelly...:::ducks :::
: D
Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR
Some of the comments on her FB post about this gave me a serious case of the skeevies. One mom was still nursing her SIX YEAR OLD! The fuck?!?! If the child can speak sentences, the child needs to be weaned.
I was breast fed till I was 3. My dad was abusive in every way to my mom, and she said she just felt guilty and thought that continuing breast feeding might somehow make up or soften all the traumatizing things that were happening to both of us. Of course it didn't work, I have no memory of being breastfed, but can remember the screaming, the violence and the cops showing up regularly. On the other hand I was reading and writing at an adult level by the age of 5 and its been suggested that breastfeeding increases a child's IQ. I wouldn't be against trying it with my (future) kids, but I think I'd rather use a pump.
"Well bully for that motherfucker."
Samuel L. Jackson
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
sounds like she did it more (all) for her than her son.
kinda creepy, mrs. bates.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
The kids in the play group probably called him "momma's boy".
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Freakin' hippies....
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012