St. James Palace Is Coming After Chi Magazine

Because waving at your subjects and cutting ribbons at the opening of gardens is really hard work, Duchess Kate and Princess William (typo and it stays) got on a plane and flew all the way to Mustique for a babymoon. (Ugh, the phrase “babymoon” hurts my eyes almost as much as the phrase “over the moon” does) last week. While in Mustique, a 4 month knocked up Duchess Kate got into a two piece to take the royal fetus for a swim and a paparazzo got pictures of her “squint and you might see it” bump and sold those pictures to Italy’s Chi Magazine.

The last time Duchess Kate and Prince William got in their swimming chonies, a French paparazzo got a picture of her sunning her royal nipple knobs and everybody lost their minds. The newest pictures don’t show Kate’s royal nipple knobs, but The Queen is still covering Prince Philip’s eyes with her pocketbook, because he probably can’t take seeing a pregnant woman in a two piece! A messenger from St. James Palace pulled out a scroll and read this statement from the royals:

“We are disappointed that photographs of the Duke and Duchess on a private holiday look likely to be published overseas. This is a clear breach of the couple’s right to privacy.”

The palace said that the paparazzo used one of those long lenses to get pictures of Kate and William without them knowing. The pictures are pretty damn blurry and it could be two boiled turnips in swimming clothes for all I know, but the pictures are clear enough for me to see that Prince William’s got body. Who knew? If he put a Prince Hot Ginge mask over his head, he’d totally be panty creamer material.

And yeah, Duchess Kate and Prince William’s lives are so hard.