Thursday, February 14th 2013
The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For February 13th!
According to her publicist, Natalie Portman performed all seven roles simultaneously. - David Lerner
Runners-up:
Vivid's head honcho was not pleased when he saw the footage. He wanted more tools in asses, not tulles and asses. - OurMissC
Their rendition of Sleeping Booty is ok....but I don't think I'm going to stick around for Dong Lake. - TFBuckFutter
The public presentation of Ron Jeremy's physical therapy team. - Tj45acp
via Evil Milk
• 
LOL! All of these are hysterical...congrats wieners!
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If anyone is going to pee on him it's going to be me.- Nicole Kidman
Congrats, winnahs! Y'all are "tutu" funny!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
These are all hilarious - congrats winners!! OurMissC I knew I'd see that one up there! xoxo
Congrats everybody! Thanks MK!
"...sometimes sucking on the same dick gets real boring." - MK's eloquent cousin
It's always a little awkward when
Bill Clinton wants to meet the cast after the show.
The Church of Scientology disguises another ill-fated search for Tom Cruise's next wife as a casting call for Black Swan 2: Electric Boogaloo
The pre-show inspection to regulate excessive camel-toe has reached a new low ...
Its truly the most unlikely mash-up ever,
Motley Crue performing with the prestigious London Ballet Company.
Feeling more and more desperate,
the Kennedy Center has resorted to some highly
unconventional gifts for high dollar donors.
Ron Jeremy,
your out-patient heart rehab nurses are ready for your first
cardio exercise.
Gerard Butler's rider list is a little unconventional.
Volunteers are never hard to find for the Lords a-Leaping section when the Men of Scientology perform the 12 Days of Christmas
Asses up - now clench and release clench and release
White swans getting ready for the black swan initiation
More allegations of Ashton's infidelities have surfaced
Seven slags a-bending.
"Bar, Bar, Bar ... Bar, Bar. Barbara Anne!"
"Ream, Ream, Ream... Ream Barbara Anne!"
"Ream Ream Ream, Ream ... Barbara Anne's Girls!
"Re-member Barbara Anne's Girls ...
...&
Re-member, Barbara Anne's Ballet Company ...
past exit 69, get off - exit 77 - "just ate more!"
"What we have here is a failure to 'Swan-icate'!
Wait 10 more seconds until the Alli™ weight-loss pills take effect, then you'll understand why I secretly nicknamed our dance troupe 'Skid Row'.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Moments later they performed a synchronized "brown swan" that made even the dirty sanchez's in the front row cringe.
Sorry, Dina, but this photo does NOT prove your claim that you were one of the Rockettes.
Christmas was very awkward the year Mom mistakenly bought tickets for "The Buttcracker".
Haha
We knew the reality shows had gone too far when they introduced "The next ass who dates Ashton Kutcher".
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"Screw you, I'm Kevin Bacon!"
(Sponsored advertisement).
"Twatter will surpass Twitter, I guarantee you!"
Those words from the CEO whom apologized it was shut down earlier today, for maintenance, and that it will be down once a month until they reached menopause. "The best has yet to come!" he said.
Adel's new Hemoroid/69 cream commercial for K-Why?.
"Butt I set fire to the pain.
Watched it pour as I touched your face.
Well, it burned while I cried
Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name ...!
Betty White's Off Their Rockers And Into Our Undies!
The Guantanamo Bay Ballet Dancers prepare to be inspected.
No racing stripes here!
"Your choice, Mr. Sheen. Enjoy! And thanks again for your very generous contribution to the ballet, Charlie."
MY FAVE!
The poodles that lost at Westminster hoped to get a taste of Banana Joe after the show was over.
Charlie Sheen has his toilet brushes custom made.
On the anniversary of Alexander Godunov's death, the Bolshoi Ballet remembered him with a 21 fart salute ...
"Salute" .... (silencer) poofs x 7!
"Salute" ... "rhee-heek plub squeek wonk" x 7!
"Salute" ... (wet squirts x 7)!
When it comes to bathroom tissue, if you don't choose White Swan, then it's Black Swan for you!
The $cientology leaders continue to work on convincing John Travolta and Tom Cruise that they want to be with women by having men wear skirts. Baby steps...
"I'm worried that every time I hurt your feelings that you're gonna start drinking again." Peggy Olson, Mad Men
Give me an 'O' ... "O!"
Give me a 'B' ... "B!"
Give me a 'G' ... "G!"
Give me a 'Y' ... "Y!"
Give me an 'N' ... "N!"
"What does that spell?"
"... Cold Hands ...?"
I'll take the one in the front row, far left. She's got the widest stance.
Apple's promo for the new 136 GB iPad mini (aimed at the 7 year old to 69 male market share).
"Comes in a small Box! It's all you really need! It's all you really want! You get eight more! Touch the Pad!"
Rehearsals for the new Cirque Du Doggy Style.
It's always a little awkward when The Arabian National Ballet Company interrupts Swan Lake with their prayer towards Mecca.
Natalie Portman's doubles finally release an official statement on their thoughts regarding her Oscar win.
*****
luscious_t requests asylum from Hollywood star whackers
Despite their best efforts, no-one could lure John Travolta and Tom Cruise back to the Scientology way of thinking on certain things...
TLC's new show - Toddlers and Tiaras: 15 Years Later
Give me an 'O' ... "O!"
Give me a 'B' ... "B!"
Give me a 'G' ... "G!"
Give me a 'Y' ... "Y!"
Give me an 'N' ... "N!"
"What does that spell?"
" ah uh ... 'Nutcracker Suite' ...?"
(The National Dyslexic Girls' Ballet & Cheer-leading Company still has some work to do)
Olympic official Petra Yelich introduces "synchronized Bulim-ing" to replace wrestling for 2016
"White Swan bathroom tissue ... 5 out of 7 ballet dancers prefer it!
The other 2 will get in the end!
It's all fun and games at the American Doll factory. Just wait until Chris Hansen knocks on their door.
The Michael Bay Scholarship winners pose for the Martha Graham School for Ballerinas Class Photo
The 2029 Kardashian Koochie Kollection Katalogue Kover
In a last ditch effort to gain sympathy over Melissa Etheridge, Tammy Lynn shows the actual "dicks" that were on her kitchen counter.
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...the end