Steve Martin Is A Dad For The Very First Time
"Isn't your dad the one who's snoring and drooling into his program in the tenth row?" is the question that a senior will ask Steve Martin's kid in 18 years at their high school graduation. But Steve Martin's kid will get to shoot back with, "Was your parent in House Sitter? Yeah, I thought not, so shut the fuck up!" Steve Martin's kid will get to say that unless the other senior is Dana Delany's kid. If that's the case, Steve Martin's kid will have to get another line.
Steve Martin is proving that you're never too old to wash away the baby diarrhea from your hands in the laundry room sink after changing your newborn's diaper. Page Six says that Steve Martin and his wife Anne Stringfield, who is Southern California's premiere Liz Lemon impersonator, are new parents to a baby born in L.A. two months ago. Steve is 67 and Anne is 41. A source type says that they are really private and they've been trying to keep the news a secret:
“They’ve had a baby, and how they kept it a secret nobody knows. Steve’s very private. They are thrilled. They worked hard to have the baby.”
I already hear some of you screaming about how Steve Martin and his kid will be fighting over the last Pedialyte in a year, but I applaud this. This is Steve Martin's first kid, which means he doesn't have grandkids, which means that up until a couple of months ago he didn't have a kid to yell at and boss around. Nothing makes me sadder than thinking about an old bitch who doesn't have a kid around to scream and wave a wooden spoon at.
So congrats to Steve Martin for ensuring that in the Metamucil phase of his life, he'll have a little kid to snarl at.
• 
Meet my wife, Tina Fey, I mean, Liz Lemon, ugh, I mean Anne something or other.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 1:25pm.
favorite SM character: Vinnie Antonelli, My Blue Heaven... "ewe shoodn't be in duh frozen food section... ewe kood melt all. dat. stuff."
absolutely 100% agree -- he and Moranis kill it in that movie!!! "i'm not the old me i'm the new me!"
[how do you guys remember all these movie quotes -- i'm constantly amazed, i crs]
congrats Steve! i really thought he had a kid w/Victoria Tennant but i guess not
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Hekki I know what you mean but I just took it as part of the style of the movie, and her character, anyway LOVED the movie too!
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 1:52pm.
We like them!
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LMAO! Oh Honey!
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"you chickens need to go back to the coup, you need to lay some fucking eggs and do your fucking job, you scrambled ass bitch!"-Shane Dawson
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 1:46pm.
Ah, funny movie with the great John Candy! I miss him.
I call this house "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles", because 1)It's in O'Hare's flightpath, 2)It's a half a block from the train tracks, #) We get to hear the "music" from the automobiles, waiting for the trains to pass.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
@ Whamo - whenever I blame Canada for Nickelback, I remind myself that it also gave us the gift of John Candy.
imsooooo happy for them botthhh!!
Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls. You're Welcome.
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 1:51pm.
But what if they are infertile and like to eat on the carpet?
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We like them!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 1:49pm.
Why do women not realize that their main obligation in life is to have a child?
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But what if they are infertile and like to eat on the carpet?
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"you chickens need to go back to the coup, you need to lay some fucking eggs and do your fucking job, you scrambled ass bitch!"-Shane Dawson
Jeeze I can't imagine.
I had my last child at 36, I was in great physical shape and it still almost killed me.
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"Screw you, I'm Kevin Bacon!"
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 1:42pm.
Why do women above the age of 40 want miscarriages so bad?
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you evil fucker!!LMAO!
All you whores discussing Steve Martin movies and not one of you brought up his MOST CLASSIC MASTERPIECE TO DATE! Bringing Down The House with Queen Latifah.
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"you chickens need to go back to the coup, you need to lay some fucking eggs and do your fucking job, you scrambled ass bitch!"-Shane Dawson
PSL - I hear 'ya. It's even better when the person realizes that they're selfish. Can save themselves and a lot of other people some grief.
Submitted by IrishFury on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 1:45pm.
I'm deliciously caramel and exhausted! We had 8 days of heaven!
I hope you missed me desperately!
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Most desperately daaarlinnk, hmmm..I'm diggin your caramel description...pics please!:P
Why do women not realize that their main obligation in life is to have a child?
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Thanks, anno!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Kids: you're damned if you do, damned if you don't.
He has a nervous disgusted look on his face like he smells something bad. Poor guy.
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 1:39pm.
Submitted by annobanano on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 1:33pm.
@ Jack & Whamo -
To me, this is Steve at his finest:
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My favorite scene...."how would he know which way we're going?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_akwHYMdbsM
Submitted by snowpiece: "my favorite Steve Martin movie was The Spanish Prisoner..."
Ohhhhh, I LOVED that movie! Although Rebecca Pidgeon and her wooden acting almost ruined it for me. Gah. Why does Mamet make people act that way?
@ Deb - It's Edie McClurg. She also played Mallory's mom in Natural Born Killers among many other things.
Hi Whammacito!
We just got back last night, I'm deliciously caramel and exhausted! We had 8 days of heaven!
I hope you missed me desperately!
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Dark-sided!
"devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others."
By "others" it didn't specify children.
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"you chickens need to go back to the coup, you need to lay some fucking eggs and do your fucking job, you scrambled ass bitch!"-Shane Dawson
Submitted by annobanano on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 1:41pm.
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 1:37pm.
All us selfish bitches out there with no kids because we've chosen that life - let's go on a two week bender in Hawaii - BECAUSE WE CAN.
*raises hand* I'll go!!!!!!!!
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I've always wanted to surf in Hawaii, I'm IN!
On the bright side, the baby should have a nice inheritance when his dad croaks.
Why do women above the age of 40 want miscarriages so bad?
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by IrishFury on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 1:37pm.
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HEY there my little Irish Shamrock, have a good holiday:)
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 1:37pm.
All us selfish bitches out there with no kids because we've chosen that life - let's go on a two week bender in Hawaii - BECAUSE WE CAN.
*raises hand* I'll go!!!!!!!!
Why do old women (aka women above the age of 30) let their wombs go to waste?
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Parenthood was on this morning and he plays a 35 year old dad.
Yea right.
Submitted by annobanano on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 1:33pm.
@ Jack & Whamo -
To me, this is Steve at his finest:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWRxPDhd3d0
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Love it!
Don't know the name of the funny actress, but she was in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and is the Mayor's secretary on Portlandia.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 1:25pm.
favorite SM character: Vinnie Antonelli, My Blue Heaven
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Supermarket Employee: Have a nice day.
Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: Fuck you!
Hey Johnny Bird!!!
As someone who lost their dad at a young age, I have some feelings about this. But, at least the kid has a dad who is a cool guy and it will have a financially secure life.
"selfish" does not have to be a negative word. It is GOOD to be selfish sometimes.
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Now that I've found a friend and a lover
I bless the day that I discovered
you, oh you- lookin' for love
Submitted by misslainey on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 1:32pm.
Who are we to comment on their reproductive choices? Frankly, it's nobody's business. Folks have a right to not have kids or have as many as they want, at any age they decide. As long as I don't have to support them, I could give two fat fucks. Just because a person has a kid at advanced age does not mean they're being selfish. Parents can die young, too. There are no guarantees in life. Respect their choice.
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^^^^ALL OF THIS^^^^
JFC. Maybe it was an unplanned pregnancy. Maybe they had been trying forever and it finally happened. Who fucking knows and who fucking cares?
All us selfish bitches out there with no kids because we've chosen that life - let's go on a two week bender in Hawaii - BECAUSE WE CAN.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
Preach!
I am 43 and could never have sex with a guy fast approaching 70. And I also think he is far too old to be a Dad but he won't be. He'll change a few diapers, get up once or twice at night (on his way to the loo anyway) and then leave the grunt work mostly to the Mom and househelp.
It'll work out fine, I'm sure, but he's kidding himself if he thinks he'll be a real father - more like a granddad. The odds of him living to see the kid graduate high school are semi-ok since he's a rich white male but again, it'll be in an elderly grandpa way.
Everyone wants to fuck with mother nature. We're not meant to start parenting at nearly 70.
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 1:23pm.
Submitted by CodeRed on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 1:21pm.
in fact, I'll say it's selfish of his part in regards to the child to decide on it at 67 and taking away the only (or first) father figure the kid has known. And that's dysfunctional for starters too. And then that's only if the kid grows old enough before he croaks to remember him.
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I think the fact that this child will be ALIVE will outweigh the older parents thing. Also, if it's such a disaster that he apparently won't be able to "keep up", does that mean that anyone with any physical disabilities or problems shouldn't procreate?
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the child is alive. Hopefully, it won't inherit any hereditary illnesses that are a risk factor in senior citizens procreating. The bond will be fucked by the fact that there's a 3 generation gap between father and kid. Nannies, assistants, and hired help won't fix that.
Age has nothing to do with a person with physical disabilities. If the latter is young enough to be a parent, to be there and to raise it, there's no problem.
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
If Kristen Davis and Tina Fey had a child, this woman would be her. 67 year old sperm... hard to believe it still works, but congrats? Personally I think 50 should be the age limit for kids, and even that is pushing it as far as having the energy to raise them.
While I enjoy some of SM's work, Ive heard he's a grade A douchebag in real life.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 1:34pm.
Why are women who don't want children so incredibly selfish? I cry myself to sleep every night because I can't give my Dad the baby we've always wanted. I have been trying to get pregnant thru my ass for so long now it just breaks my heart, these SELFISH BITCHES!
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
Sincere congratulations to Steve and his wife!
+++++++++++++++++++
Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
All females belong to the sex class; they are subhuman buckets for male incontinence.
Why are women who don't want children so incredibly selfish?
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Congrads to Steve Martin.
I thought he had a child a few years ago, but I guess not. He's a very smart man. Strange bird and aloof, but very smart.
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"I swear, sometimes good dick is a thing of evil. It blurs your vision and screws with your brain.- MK, 01/17/13
@ Jack & Whamo -
To me, this is Steve at his finest:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWRxPDhd3d0
Submitted by CodeRed on Wed, 02/13/2013 - 1:24pm.
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I know you were referencing the Adele Vs. Kate Upton thing. To a degree, there was some validity in that comparison though, because Adele isn't in fact making a living off her body, my whole point with KU simply was she wasn't fat. In regard to Steve Martin being an actor and Elton being a singer...I don't see how those things have anything to do with raising a kid or why how one career would make one a more acceptable parent. That's all.
PSL= "THIRD of all, there is NOTHING WRONG with having "selfish" years to yourself." <--- Calling years to yourself "selfish" is what boggles my mind. Unless you mean the drug use, which isn't acceptable with Or without kids.
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"you chickens need to go back to the coup, you need to lay some fucking eggs and do your fucking job, you scrambled ass bitch!"-Shane Dawson
Who are we to comment on their reproductive choices? Frankly, it's nobody's business. Folks have a right to not have kids or have as many as they want, at any age they decide. As long as I don't have to support them, I could give two fat fucks. Just because a person has a kid at advanced age does not mean they're being selfish. Parents can die young, too. There are no guarantees in life. Respect their choice.
I don't think the term 'too selfish' to have children by the 'standardized' age is meant to be taken as a bad thing.
If one is smart enough to recognize that there are many things that one may want to do before having children (or even consider not having them at all), that should be considered nothing but a GOOD thing.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
where the fuck did ba-buttons go? Comes in, throws a shit fit, and then disappears? I am still pissed at his judgmental rant toward me, when he knows ZERO about me..
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Now that I've found a friend and a lover
I bless the day that I discovered
you, oh you- lookin' for love
my favorite Steve Martin movie was The Spanish Prisoner...
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
Besides not wanting to have a kid on my own when I was younger, I am very set in my ways now, and do now want kids. I want to sleep in, I want to go wherever I want whenever I want, I want to do whatever it is I feel like doing. You can't do that when you have kids (or at least you shouldn't- having a kid should be the most selfless thing you ever do). And you know what? That IS selfish in a way. I admit it. I am selfish to not want to gibe all that up. There is nothing wrong with that.
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Now that I've found a friend and a lover
I bless the day that I discovered
you, oh you- lookin' for love