RiRi Got A Bouquet Of Buds For VD

Because RiRi thinks she’s the second coming of Bob Marley and a hero to all stoners, she Instagrammed a picture of the marijuana plant somebody gave her for National Single Awareness Day and added the note: “Roses are green! Somebody knows how to make me happy.” You probably didn’t read any of those words, because as soon as that picture loaded your mouth pulled your head toward the screen and you’ll stay stuck there until the people who clean your office at night pry you off, Windex your screen and then put your mouth back on it.

Some people think that RiRi’s bouquet from FTD’s Willie Nelson collection came from Chris Brown. If it did, then RiRi must’ve found later that her marijuana plant was actually a bushel of funny-looking oregano, because they both showed up to Playhouse in Hollywood last night and she treated him like he was Frank Ocean and she was him. RiRi sat far away from him and kept throwing her stank face at him. Some witness type said this to UsWeekly:

“[They were] not at all on speaking terms. She refused to sit with or even near him. When she noticed he was there, she made a huge show of rubbing her presence in his face.”

Please tell me that “rubbing her presence in his face” is just a really polite way of saying that she threw her dirty tampon at his face or dropped a queef bomb in his piña colada. But really, this is just The Difficult Brown and RiRi being The Difficult Brown and RiRi. You know, he tries to kill her, they kiss, they make up, he tries to kill her again, they kiss, they make up, etc… That’s just them.

It’s pretty obvious that The Difficult Brown is the one who gave her that beautiful gift, because he knows that marijuana reduces the intensity of pain. That is SO caring of him.

And here’s some extremely riveting pictures of RiRi going to another club last night.