A Bloody Cricket Bat And Roids Were Reportedly Found In Oscar Pistorius’ House

And here comes that ROID RAGE defense everybody knew was coming.

“Police sources” are still whispering into the ears of the media in South Africa and one police source says that a bloody cricket bat and some steroids were found in Oscar Pistorius’ house. The source tells The City Press that Reeva Steenkamp’s skull was crushed and so police are doing tests on the cricket bat to see if Oscar Pistorius beat her with it. They are also testing Oscar Pistorius’ blood to see if roids were in his system that night.

The source tells The City Press that the police are starting to piece together the events of that night. They think that Reeva and Oscar got into a fight in his bedroom and he either used the cricket bat to beat her or she used the cricket bat to defend herself. The police found a cartridge in his bedroom, so they think he shot at her upstairs and then chased her to the bathroom where he shot through the door. Oscar reportedly called his father after the shooting and told his sister Aimee that he mistook Reeva for a burglar. Oscar’s burglar defense makes so much sense, because Reeva was wearing a nightie at the time and we know that most thieves where flowy nighties when they rob a bitch.

Reeva’s overnight bag and her iPad were found on the floor of Oscar’s bedroom. The Daily Mail says that the media in South African is speculating that Reeva and Oscar might’ve fought about one of her ex-pieces. One source claims that right before she was murdered, Reeva got a text message on her iPad from her rugby playing ex-boyfriend Francois Hougaard. Francois’ agent told the media to leave him out of this tragedy, because it had nothing to do with him.

And the South African media is really trying to outdo the Taiwanese CGI wizards, because they recreated the night of Reeva’s murder in a comic strip. How do you say “I can’t” in Afrikaans?