Taylor Swift Thinks There's A Special Place In Hell For Tina Fey And Amy Poehler
Vanity Fair has already made my day by making Taylor Swift look like a confused bird in a wig on the cover of a Christian rock album circa 1995. The way that pictures goes with the words "My Syrian Hostage Ordeal" is way too perfect. It's a mess. The cover is good enough, but then Vanity Fair really took me up, up and away with what they put inside. It's Taylor Swift at her Taylor Swiftiest!
If you can only read one part of this interview, read this part:
As she sits drinking lavender lemonade in her “Tim Burton–Alice in Wonderland–pirate ship–Peter Pan” apartment, Swift continues....
That pretty much sums up Taylor Swift's entire life. (Throw in a bunch of boys in pajamas and it pretty much sums up Michael Jackson's life too. Hmmmm.)
In Vanity Fair's preview, Taylor gets into Tina Fey's joke at the Golden Globes and really gets into how she's portrayed as some dick-hungry crazy bitch who only writes musical slam pieces about her ex-boyfriends. Here's a few quotes and please read them while sipping lavender lemonade in your Tim Burton-Alice in Wonderland-pirate ship-Peter Pan cubicle:
On what she thinks about Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's mild ass joke about her at the Golden Globes: “You know, Katie Couric is one of my favorite people. Because she said to me she had heard a quote that she loved, that said, ‘There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.’”
On how Conor Kennedy and Harry Styles are the only dudes she's dated since 2010: "....if you want some big revelation, since 2010 I have dated exactly two people."
On how the tabloids have turned her into boy-trap hussy harlot: “The fact that there are slide shows of a dozen guys that I either hugged on a red carpet or met for lunch or wrote a song with. . . it’s just kind of ridiculous. It’s why I have to avoid the tabloid part of our culture, because they turn you into a fictional character.”
On how you should celebrate her as the next Joni Mitchell and if you don't you're sexist piece of trash: “For a female to write about her feelings, and then be portrayed as some clingy, insane, desperate girlfriend in need of making you marry her and have kids with her, I think that’s taking something that potentially should be celebrated—a woman writing about her feelings in a confessional way—that’s taking it and turning it and twisting it into something that is frankly a little sexist.”
On how she shouldn't star in HGTV's new series House Hunters: Stalkers Edition, because she doesn't buy houses near all the dudes she's dated (FYI: Nancy Jo Sales later writes that Taylor did buy a house near Conor Kennedy.): “People say that about me, that I apparently buy houses near every boy I like—that’s a thing that I apparently do. If I like you I will apparently buy up the real-estate market just to freak you out so you leave me. One of these things I say to myself to calm myself down when I feel like it’s all too much . . . If there’s a pregnancy rumor, people will find out it’s not true when you wind up not being pregnant, like nine months from now, and if there’s a house rumor, they’ll find out it’s not true when you are actively not ever spotted at that house.”
Some humanized puddles of unflavored oatmeal just can't take a joke. Taylor Swift needs to walk the plank of her pirate ship apartment, because Tina Fey was helping her out. Tina Fey jokingly told her that she's been to the Island of Dudes several times, but she really needs to spend time at the Island of Her (which looks like the island of Neverland and is surrounded by a lavender lemonade ocean). That is good advice! But I shouldn't question the thinking of a true feminist who called Camilla Belle a slut in a song. Taylor Swift obviously is the authority on women helping women.
Taylor wouldn't talk about the details of her personal life to VF's Nancy Jo Sales, because why do it when you can have your friends do it for you? Taylor let one of her friends talk to Nancy Jo Sales about Harry Styles and the other dudes she's shared a lavender lemonade with:
Although one of Swift’s rules is that she doesn’t go into the personal details of any of her relationships, she authorized someone to discuss them with Sales. “He wore her down,” the source says of Styles, who allegedly “chased” Swift for a year. “He was all, like, ‘You’re amazing—I want to be with you. I want to do this.’” The relationship fell apart after he texted Swift to alert her of a picture on the Internet of him kissing a friend good-bye. They were “making out like with their hands all up in each other’s hair,” says the source. After Swift ended the relationship, he pursued her for the better part of a year until she finally took him back. “But the whole time she says she feels like he’s looking at every girl,” the source continues. And then when they were in London together he “disappears one night and after that it was like he just didn’t want to keep going.” Styles’s rep, Benny Tarantini at Columbia Records, said that all of Swift’s source’s claims are “undeniably false.”
“It was like a pendulum for her, swinging back and forth,” the source says of Swift’s exes, with all of whom age has been a problem. Conor Kennedy, 17 at the time, was “just like a two-month thing,” the source continues, and Swift “says he was awesome.” The source says, “She dated Jake [Gyllenhaal] and John [Mayer] when she was really young and they were in their 30s, and she got really hurt. So it was like ‘That hurt—this won’t. But then it did.’”
So to recap: Taylor Swift is sick of the media portraying her as the exact image her publicity team painted, she thinks women need to help her (with what, I'm not sure) and she won't whisper into your ear about her ex-boyfriends, but she'll let somebody else do it for her. Bitch is like the rich girl villain in a Sweet Valley High book.
And my guess that this "special place" in hell that Taylor is talking about is a Tim Burton-Alice in Wonderland-pirate ship-Peter Pan apartment where they only serve lavender lemonade and play Taylor Swift songs on a loop.
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Oh so if you are a female Hitler or Manson, then I should support you since we both got vaginas. Oh that makes a lot of sense Squinty.
Squinty's lack of education rears its head quite frequently when she gives interviews. She might want to take some of her money and go to college. I suggest she major in Women's Studies.
To quote another legend...
A sphincter says what?
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Legendary.
To quote the glorious MK, "Bitch needs to stop, drop and roll right out of here."
Also, as others have pointed out, that quote is attributed to Madeleine Albright, but of course Katie Couric is on par with this bubble brain's cultural reference point. And that's likely only because Katie Couric interviewed her a few years back. What a twat.
As a palate cleanser, some more Mads Albright quotes. http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/madeleine_albright.html
Also, Amy speaks the truth: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8hwwoOHYb1qfyq78.gif
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
Taylor Swift is only a feminist when it's convenient for her. It couldn't be clearer with the way she demands constant attention from significant male figures in her life and focuses so heavily on retribution. She doesn't want to be an empowered woman, she wants to be taken care of. Lame.
Reserve me a seat at the bar in that special place in hell. Just cuz you have a vagina does not meant I'm in any way, shape or form obligated to help you out. If I wanna help a ho out, it don't matter what that ho have between they legs, and if I don't want to help a 'ho out, I won't no matter what you workin' with down south. This type of pseudo-feminism makes my blood boil, not only for the reason stated above, but for this...HEY KATIE, I HAVE A VAGINA. WANT TO HELP A BITCH OUT???? No? Yeah, I thought so.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by IHateCharityChic on Tue, 03/05/2013 - 10:37am.
If Taylor wanted to attack Tina and Amy she should have spent more time on how Fey portrayed Liz Lemon, a desperate loser who has trouble finding love and whose entire last season was making sure Liz Lemon got married.
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I don't think we watched the same show.
There was only 2 episodes that had to do with Liz and Criss getting married. The one where they got engaged on a whim and the one where they decided to have a quickie wedding.
Amy Poehler's weighed in (yet to hear from Tina)
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/amy-poehler-taylor-swift-i-426113
this woman is a joke and sadly she is the only one who doesn't get the joke
She is the same age as Adele.
I'm confused. Why does anyone care?
JESUS! It's the MOST sexist thing to say we women have to help each other out no matter how much some women might SUCK! Bitch, please. So, I guess we women aren't supposed to have any thoughts or opinions, just blindly support and worship anyone with a vagina? Fuck. That. Shit. There's a special place in hell for reverse sexists too, you kunts.
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"When in doubt, freak 'em out" -- Sharon Needles
“You know, Katie Couric is one of my favorite people. Because she said to me she had heard a quote that she loved, that said, ‘There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.’”
Bitch, what woman are you helping? By only singing about broken hearts and wah-wah love songs, how the hell are you helping women? And what are you saying to young women that might actually listen to your shit? Grow up to be a whiny door mat? When someone breaks your heart, bitch and pout like a three year old?
I wish Taylor Swift would swiftly exit stage right and move the fuck on.
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♥ Moms
My kids won't even listen to her anymore-don't get me wrong-they liked her when they were, like, 6. By the age of 8 they were over it.
She's the Mimi of country times 10. One day she will hopefully have a Nick Cannon of her own to straighten the crazy out of her ass. Or she will just keep bitching about how much men suck.
Tip: If every boyfriend leaves you, it's probably not them.
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♥ Moms
Submitted by Flynn on Tue, 03/05/2013 - 12:33pm.
You guys remember the tv show Beauty and the beast starring Linda Hamilton and Ron Perlman well Taylor Swift in this picture look like what their daughter would have looked like.
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this is the next Twilight right here.
She puts the shame in slut-shaming.
"I'm not going to talk about Harry Styles but I passed a note to my friend saying she can tell you at recess by the monkey bars." - Taylor Swiffer the Swiffer Picker Upper.
Submitted by bambam on Tue, 03/05/2013 - 3:02pm.
@Whams, you don't have to see why, all you have to do is observe that she hasn't. That's how it is with people.
My opinion of her shortcomings seems a reasonable assumption given what I've read and heard of her childhood. The girl's been practicing to acheive what she's accomplished for years(a decade at least) yet when it comes to relationships she acts like a 15, 16 yr old.
She's what, 23 or 24? Do the math. Why wouldn't it be a reasonable speculation?
Submitted by tonicbitch on Tue, 03/05/2013 - 2:57pm.
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Perhaps your guys are right, I'm willing to capitulate I suppose lol, I just figured in-spite of the fact she's been groomed at a young age she's been groomed within her own age group. I could understand the argument more if she had to deal with only adults and the people she played to where adults so thereby missing interaction between people her own age (like some in the movie industry) but her entire grooming was based on an age group she would well know. I simply would suggest normal person steeped in a pop teen environment would not want to stay there but just the opposite. Look at Miley, she doesn't want to have anything to do with being a kid, she's been a kid and around kids her whole life, she's doing everything to prove she's all grown up.
I'm not disagreeing there is SOME reason she's stuck in this teen frame of mind I'm just suggesting I think she's comfortable with that core audience and is afraid to move on more than being emotionally crippled by a groomed childhood.
Having said that I am willing to admit I really don’t have a clue and I am simply speculating. I do realize I HAVE been wrong before lol!
Anyway that's all, I have to go for a bit and too much Swift is frying my brain. Peace :)
she is such a whiner...bitch you are famous and being famous comes with worlds of bullshit attached, but what I don't get is these overly paid and overly hyped singers and entertainers that do stupid shit, get paid for doing not that much and then have the nerve to complain about how they are being judged. Give me a freaking break....you deserve all the judgment coming you way and btw Joni Mitchell is not amused.
I find this humorous considering the solved Blind Gossip item about her where she ranted that Harry didn't even try to make their relationship look real. She needs to go away NOW.
Love is equal...Bravery
@Whams, you don't have to see why, all you have to do is observe that she hasn't. That's how it is with people.
It always amazes me at how people view someone, they see the good looks, the talent, the money and they assume that person's got everything.
They know nothing of that person's upbringing, how well or poor it might've been.
They either buy into what they're being shown or they automatically look for flaws, when they see the flaws they howl because they think the money and subsequent lifestyle should compensate for that person's shortcomings.
My opinion of her shortcomings seems a reasonable assumption given what I've read and heard of her childhood. The girl's been practicing to acheive what she's accomplished for years(a decade at least) yet when it comes to relationships she acts like a 15, 16 yr old.
She's what, 23 or 24? Do the math. Why wouldn't it be a reasonable speculation?
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Cool "Disco" Dan!!!
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 03/05/2013 - 2:36pm.
Bitch was groomed for fame at a young age so the amount of time she probably spent around other teens or "normal" people wouldn't be enough to learn social intricacies. She writes dumb breakup songs because relationships are the only life experience she has, and even some of those were manufactured. She's stunted because there is nothing genuine about her.
She always sounds VERY bitter and spiteful in interviews and I hope her fans come to realize this. Joni Mitchel wrote songs about feelings but she also wrote sounds about social justice and the environment. Taylor ONLY writes about boys.
You don't want to believe in Illuminati conspiracies but "Alice In Wonderland Peter Pan apartment" makes it kind of hard not to.
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Tue, 03/05/2013 - 2:20pm.
Why are all these self-proclaimed feminists always so goddamn humorless?
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Ha, ha so true!
One of my favorite quotes:
"The feminist movement was created to allow ugly women access to the mainstream of society”. Rush Limbaugh
Love it. Never seen a beautiful feminist.
anyone who has a problem with Tina Fey or Amy Poehler is a fool. Swifty, maybe when you're a "grown up woman" you'll understand things better. I always felt bad when Kanye stole your thunder, but now I think it's funny and that you totally deserved it. wah wah wah...
and that cover IS hilarious, ahhh what magazines say to make you pick up one and buy it - and this is...Vanity Fair? shouldn't it be 'Seventeen'?
"The growing of a superstar: her men, her moods, her music. WTF
let's break this down:
her men - WHERE?
her moods - TEENAGE PMS, IN LOVE, BROKEN UP
her music - WHAT? THAT CATERWAULING???
Enough said, *flings scarf over shoulder, spins on heel and stomps the fuck out*
"she turned away, what was she looking at? She was a Sour Girl the day that she met me"
STP No. 4
Submitted by bambam on Tue, 03/05/2013 - 2:02pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 03/05/2013 - 1:49pm.
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Dude, look at her behavior, she's acted like a kid. Instead of getting out there learning and navigating social intricacies during the period when most people are supposed to be doing it, she was doing something else, what I don't know.
Now she writes songs all but calling out fmr boyfriends by name. That's high school shit. Call it the MJ defense or whatever, I disagree with you bigtime on this one.
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Hey we both agree she's emotional stunted, but my point Bammer is she was out there, I can't see why she shouldn't have learned and navigated the social intricacies. I just think the fact she deals or dealt only in teens everything about her world is about teens that she should have been well steeped in the ins and out of being a teen, she should be past all that which we both agree is odd that she apparently hasn't.
The only thing I disagree with you on is the "why" she seems this way.
Leave the (real) feminists out of it please, they want nothing to do with this twit.
Why are all these self-proclaimed feminists always so goddamn humorless?
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Omg when will this idiot bitch go away?????
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 03/05/2013 - 1:49pm.
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Dude, look at her behavior, she's acted like a kid. Instead of getting out there learning and navigating social intricacies during the period when most people are supposed to be doing it, she was doing something else, what I don't know.
Now she writes songs all but calling out fmr boyfriends by name. That's high school shit. Call it the MJ defense or whatever, I disagree with you bigtime on this one.
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Cool "Disco" Dan!!!
"Do you consider yourself a feminist?"
Taylor Swift replies:
I don't really think about things as guys versus girls. I never have. I was raised by parents who brought me up to think if you work as hard as guys, you can go far in life.
You can't have it both ways. Not to mention that someone making a slight joke at your expense isn't oppressing you. She does more to hurt women with how she markets herself, and saying shit like above, than Tina and Amy ever will. There's a special place in hell for Taylor goat-singing Swift.
Submitted by veryoldbat on Tue, 03/05/2013 - 1:36pm.
Taylor Swift.. Suri Cruise called. She wants her big girl
Pants back. Apparently you're not fit to wear them.
*snorts* ahahahahaa!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 03/05/2013 - 1:02pm.
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Hahahaha, I been on a NY rapper kick lately, A Tribe Called Quest, Rob Base etc. Right now I'm bouncing off of Chubb Rock's Treat Me Right and Craig Mack.
here comes brand new flava in ya ear,
time for new flava in ya ear,
here comes a brand new flava in ya ear,
time for new flava. in. yo. ear.
Serious head bobber.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8pG1mG7BeI
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Cool "Disco" Dan!!!
Submitted by bambam on Tue, 03/05/2013 - 12:21pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 03/05/2013 - 11:13am.
I always contend the music industry makes you grow up fast. She's travelled around the world which in itself should make you considerably more well rounded, she's met many influential people, made and signed million dollar deals and yet she still has the maturity of a 16 year old. If anything she should be talking like she's 40 and banging much older guys
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I think she spent too much of her time learning her craft and not enough time socially being a teenager. She lost out learning how to fit in, =============================================
Learning her CRAFT! what! Sorry my man you know we're friends and all but I could not disagree more on this one, that's the Micheal Jackson defense and I ain't bying it.
It's not like she was brought up in a box, her entire fan base is and was teens, every single person she's talk to at her meet and greets and all those concerts she did before "making it" were all teens, it's not like she was whisked away and hid after each concert or gig. She would have had so much interaction with teens she should be SICK of teens and want nothing to do with them. If anything you see people like this act so completely beyond their years it's disturbing like those 12 year old kids that carry themselves like weird adults.
IMO she is so emotionally stunted it's ridiculous, it's like she afraid to grow up and be an adult and deal with her career as she moves into adulthood.
Submitted by fredfred on Tue, 03/05/2013 - 12:13pm.
the offensive part is that "feminists" are the ones continuously reminding us that comic writers like tina & amy have vaginas. they aren't "feminist icons" or "women comediennes". they are writers and comics. period.
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i am going to call "bullshit" - lovingly, and in a completely feminine and non-"angry bitch" way, on this particular argument.
the "everything would be GREAT if you would just shut up about being (black) (female) (insert minority status here) and allow us to just treat you like (white) (male) (insert relevant cultural normative is here)" argument, i mean.
doesn't work that way. the Other is the Other, not because they point it out, but because there is a long-standing system of inequality set-up between the two; use comparative economic wealth as a test of equality and, unless you can find a real reason that white women should earn 75% of a white man's dollar, and black women 50%, you must conclude that our current system favors white men and everybody else falls in somewhere along a spectrum, with black and native women, and the disabled and elderly of any ethnicity, landing at the bottom.
championing women who overcome this oppression isn't necessarily radical feminism, not that there's anything wrong with radical feminism. pointing out that they are women isn't problematic. yes, they are funny human beings, but they are also women. their success doesn't neuter them - and you know damn well that their failure sure wouldn't.
and the Best Buy commercial was funny. i hope Pohler wrote, directed and executive produced it!
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God don't like ugly.
At the end of the day, she's just a 23 year old girl, in love with the sound of her own voice. But someone should educate her: First rule of getting women to help you - don't say they are going to hell in a national magazine.
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Why don't you dance with me? I'm not no limburger.
If she was truly a feminist (and that Katie Couric reference is a sad attempt), she would just admit that she enjoys fucking lots of famous guys and there's nothing wrong with it. Own your sluttiness, Taylor. Jesus fucking Christ.
It's not a Katie Couric quote. It's a Madeline Albright quote. Of course Swifty likes Katie.
Taylor Swift.. Suri Cruise called. She wants her big girl
Pants back. Apparently you're not fit to wear them.
Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR
HAHAHAHAHA. Oh, if only 30 Rock were still on - Fey would rip this little unicorn-loving, serial-boyfriend-having, whiny little bitch a new one.
Couric was talking about WOMEN, you dolt, not little girls dancing around in Kennedy Fairyland. If anyone has helped women in this business, it's Fey and probably also Poehler. What have YOU done for women in your industry, you mealy-mouthed little twat? No, you're too busy trying to find another boyfriend to glom onto and then trash in your songs. Very mature and productive.
Oh and, no one's being "sexist" when they don't like your lame songs. They just suck, and that transcends gender.
I shouldn't read stuff like this - it raises my blood pressure horribly.
Zero sympathy for her situation. If you overtly humiliate and call out your former flames in such a way in a public manner then the public has every right to use what you put out there against you!
I love celebrity logic, it basically goes like this....
"I can say whatever I want because that's me expressing myself but people criticizing me is mean and horrible and they are bullies!"
Some of these kids think free speech is exclusive to them. So if they act cunty then we're cunts for noticing. Ridiculous.
AMY & TINA!!! <3
The Katie Couric quote would apply if Taylor WAS a woman! the quote does not apply to 12-year old girls trapped in a tall lanky body!
To give shit-for-brains Taylor Swift some prospective, this is a prime example of Couric's quote. There is a special place in hell for women who don't help women:
http://news.yahoo.com/calif-woman-dies-nurse-refuses-cpr-134439843.html
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
All I have to say is Fuck this cunt! But MK, don't bring Tim Burton into this mess, he did nothing to you lol
Change is coming through my Shadow
Actually, there is a special Place in Hell for WHORES. Shut yer face, your little dumbfuck bimbo.
for other people like me who during the Best Buy commercial were somewhere peeing or ordering another drink or at the buffet table or cursing with their friends about how shitty their team was playing [me]
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/03/best-buy-super-bowl-commercial-...
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
This airhead has no problem writing song after song at the expense of others but the second someone makes a slight jab at her, they're going to hell? This bitch is truly the worst kind of human.....bitch if you can dish it out you damn well better be able to take it!
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j
"I'm doin ho activities, with ho energy. Ho's are my friends, ho's are my enemies."
Congrats, Taylor! I didn't think it was possible, but you have reached GOOP level pretentiousness.
"A special place in Hell" really?? And your Hillbilly Holly Hobby routine is doing exactly what to advance women's issues?
You don't get to dictate, "Okay, now look at my love life. Now stop. Now look. Stop. Look." If you put your love life center stage in every single thing you do, then don't be surprised when people take notice of it.
Bambam motherfucker I just downloaded OPP yesterday holy shit
You couldn't be seen with him and honestly you didn't care
'Cos in a room behind a door no one but y'all are there
When y'all are finish, y'all can leave and only y'all would know
And then y'all could throw the skeleton bones right in the closet do'
love it...
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"I ain't a killer but don't push me, Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to gettin pussy" ~ Tupac Amaru Shakur
That Best Buy ad with Amy is hilarious!
Ms Lavender Lemonade must REALLY hate Joan Rivers, what with all of her Fashion Police jokes about what a whore she is, stalking the Kennedys, etc.
Oh, Joan is one beautiful specimin. She gives me the Happies.