Demi Moore Wants Ashton Kutcher To Pay Up
After Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore broke up over a year ago, she's been busy doing the rehab thing, riding the beat, pouncing on young pieces and living the life, so she really hasn't had time to file for divorce. When Ashton filed for divorce around Christmas, Demi shredded those papers up, stuffed them in her bong, took a few puffs and kept partying like it's spring break forever! But Demi finally put her cougar coochie in hibernation and sat down with her lawyers to fill out her own divorce papers. Demi finally filed today and in the papers she basically says that she wants the accountants at Two and a Half Men to deposit Ashton's checks into her checking account from now on, thankyouverymuch.
TMZ says that Demi isn't only asking for alimony, but she wants Ashton to pay her attorney's bill too. Ashton is the highest-paid actor in television and made $24 million last year, but apparently Demi Moore has way more money than him. I thought Demi blew all her money on lipo, tequila and young dick, so this is new information to me. Never underestimate the force of G.I. Jane residuals.
Demi's lawyers and Ashton's lawyers are currently trying to work out a settlement and TMZ doesn't think she's going to get a dime since her bank account bulges more than his does.
Nermal-faced philosopher Lil' Kim once said, "Why spend mines, when I can spend yours?" That's exactly what Demi is doing. Ashton Kutcher stuck his wandering douche dick in every 20-something trick from Escondido to Sacramento and so she's getting his ass back. Nothing will get the taste of his side pieces' twat juices out of Demi's mouth like gargling on the tears that will flow down Ashton's face when he has to write her an alimony check every month. No, Demi doesn't deserve alimony, but if she can get it, why not? If she does, she can pull a Brandi Glanville and use Ashton's money to de-Kutcherize her coochie by reupholstering it.
• 
Re the Demi Moore divorce, Yahoo has this pretty accurate article. But it misses their joint real estate holdings:
http://omg.yahoo.com/blogs/celeb-news/why-demi-moore-stands-profit-her-d...
did someone say something about RE-UPHOLSTERED PUSSY, lol???
*Chris Rock's voice*
I was fucking parts of your pussy
I never fucked before
I was in there like, "Oh shit I never been here before
I've never even seen this part of Pussy Town before"
It's like you got this shit RE-UPHOLSTERED or some shit
What the fuck happened?
Who...WHO the fuck got your pussy all re-upholstered?
*girl's voice*
Yee-zy re-upholstered my pussy
KANYE WEST FEAT CHRIS ROCK - BLAME GAME
Submitted by spattr on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 12:54pm.
It's his own fault for marrying the shriveled up dirtbag in the first place.
---------------------------
What a vile comment. What are your issues?
------------------------
Auri sacra fames
Submitted by spattr on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 12:54pm.
It's his own fault for marrying the shriveled up dirtbag in the first place. She should be paying him for valuable gigolo services rendered. Their lawyers can depose Jennifer Lopez to determine how much Casper's young ass costs Jlow each year & they can multiply that figure by the years of the Ashton/Demi relationship. That should be the amount Demi owes Ashton for servicing a past her prime divorcee.
******************************************************
Exactly!
Loathe both of them.
Both vain, selfish, arrogant and ridiculous. Seriously? Who cares?
Justa Tipin LOLOLOL
**************************
"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
It's his own fault for marrying the shriveled up dirtbag in the first place. She should be paying him for valuable gigolo services rendered. Their lawyers can depose Jennifer Lopez to determine how much Casper's young ass costs Jlow each year & they can multiply that figure by the years of the Ashton/Demi relationship. That should be the amount Demi owes Ashton for servicing a past her prime divorcee.
Submitted by dementa on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 10:18am.
Shouldn't it be easy to find out if they were legally married? Aren't those sorts of things public record?
It is: by mail application to the county offices. And no one has ever produced their marriage certificate. Not TMZ, not Smoking Gun, not anyone. (Maybe I should, so I stop obsessing pointlessly over it... haha)
...........................
M83, Reunion
Shouldn't it be easy to find out if they were legally married? Aren't those sorts of things public record?
And I agree Mila should take notes. If you don't keep the upper hand, he'll do to you what he did to his ex.
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
what a cunt. she's a super vain, drug addled anorexic who tries to act like a teenager and is terrifed of aging... no wonder he got sick of her crap.
The highest paid actor in TV is Mark Harmon. It was just on the news. I couldn't care less otherwise, as long as it is not Ashton Kutcher.
Submitted by literarylioness: "...I hope Mila is taking notes."
*nods in agreement*
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Thu, 03/07/2013 - 7:38pm.
I saw her on Oprah (I know, I know) years ago and she came across as intelligent and self aware. I was impressed. What in the holy fuck happened?? Damn, she regressed...or she really is a good actress.
___________________________________________________
I saw her on Regis and Kelly and came off as a dimwit. Talking about Asshat being her "soulmate" and how "lucky" she was to meet him. I nearly barfed from the fakeness and saccharine crap she spewed.
I hope Mila is taking notes.
Submitted by chasing windmills on Thu, 03/07/2013 - 8:33pm. with a nod to Rod Stewart - in the future:
Pick your ex-wives carefully.
---------------------
In a nutshell.
Wait...so that's NOT Demi on that Real Housewives show??
What has she been doing all this time??
Oh...right.
Demi just needs a gay who will shake some sense into her, like Bette did to Miriam in Old Acquaintance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkieKaIpxTw
I volunteer.
-----------------------------------------------
"Look, I'm always looking for a beefy football player to come out of the closet. And then on my face." BuckeyeInChicago
Submitted by Hotmami on Thu, 03/07/2013 - 9:19pm.
You mean she isn't still receiving residuals from Striptease?
LOL. I bet she is. She was hot then (albeit beefed up), as she was in GI Jane (albeit beefed up).
Each of them gets to keep whatever money or property they brought into the marriage, so pre-2005 assets. All the Austin Powers movies, for ex., were pre-marriage. They also get to keep their post-separation money. Christopher's $24m from 2.5 Men was post-separation, so his money. Etc.
I'm actually surprised these whackadoodles dint have a pre-nup, but then I'm not convinced they ever nupped.
Ashton benefitted way more from the relationship. Before Demi he was known for Punked. She brought him into A list recognition. HE owes her!
Submitted by the original be... on Thu, 03/07/2013 - 11:22pm.
Nice. What part of CA are you in? LA here.
Demi is a fucking MESS!
That being said...'Team Demi!'
Ashton is a pile of shit!
I also give Demi credit for being pretty damn good in G.I. Jane and Disclosure.
Rande S - Oh, I know that. I wasn't trying to oversimplify, but that's the jist of it until a judge's opinion weighs in on matters. Well, a judge's and the Dissomaster.
**************************
"Shut up; I don't like you."
Get that Whippets money girlfriend!
I wouldnt have asked for a dime though, if I were in her shoes.
you touch my hand, i live for you....because your eyes they understand, i live you....
*cue start*
come to me...lay your body down...
i wont deny you...anything..anything
Look at me
I feel so different now
You're the one I cry to
You're all around me
I breathe you in like air
Your arms have found me
Like waves that find the sand
And baby I'll be there...
*unclips bra, shake tits in anti-clockwise motion, toss head back, flip hair 180 degrees, push pussay out, open legs, run both hands down the torso to the vajean, touch vajean and runs both hands along the legs and sing*
In your arms, I come alive
In my live
I am free
No one could ever understand what you do to me
Make that bitch pay Demi,, im proud of you girl!
Did we really expect anything else from someone with a mental age of about 12?
Demi was an Exec Producer on ALL of the Austin Power movies.
They are the reason:
1) she has sh!tloads of money
2) she needs to atone for her "sins" vs. humanity...
@ stan:
i agree. I mean really she made him A list.
...
.
------------
"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned/ Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.
..
.
-----
"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
He was well known but when he married her, he soon became REALLY well-known. So in her-whips damaged brain, he owes her for his fame!
If I were him, I pay under the table and be done with her!
=========
Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
You mean she isn't still receiving residuals from Striptease?
**********************************
Every saint has a past and
Every sinner has a future
I do have to wonder, though, if her cheek implants will ever get that erect for another man?....:-(. Aw, who wants to see flaccid cheek implants on a sad, sad cougar? Not me....
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Crazy...
Good point, chinchilla. There has to be a prenup involved, no?
All I can think of is Demi "dancing" at that Snoop show as Asston cringed. That had to be a turning point. lol
They do have something in common--neither can act worth shit yet they've both made millions at it. Demi: Just be grateful for your inexplicable good fortune, stfu, go away for a while & reinvent yourself somehow. Or, better yet, just go away (and take The Taterheads with you).
I wish the Judge would make Ass-Stain pay alimony but, instead of to rich-enough Demi, to a homeless shelter or animal rescue group. Cuz I'd love to see him have to pay up ~ it literally makes me feel ill to think of him earning $24million/year ~ but I don't want Demi getting more money. Basically, it would make him pay for being a foolio but wouldn't pad Demi's bank account any further.
Submitted by asslesschaps on Thu, 03/07/2013 - 8:18pm.
Escondido to Sacramento- as a North County SD resident I appreciate this somewhat random starting point of distance measurement for how far Doucheton Kutcher's wandering peen has roamed.
Isn't Escondido where Christopher romped in the tub with the young woman who promptly sold her story and pix? His peen has probably wandered more like from Chula Vista to Yreka.
Demi deserves to get zilch just for putting Ashton into a sympathetic light.
demi is gonna get that money and paaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrtttttttaaaaayyyyyyyyyy woooooohoooooooooooo.
ooooooh ooooooooh put your hands in the air ooooooooh like you just dont care ooooooh
the roof the roof is in on fire ooooooooooooh im gonna take my clothes off oooooooooooh
hay 20 year olds, watch what i can do!!! look i can pop ping pong balls outta my pusssaaayyyy!!!!!
Submitted by Mani6 on Thu, 03/07/2013 - 8:21pm.
THEY BOTH HAVE ENOUGH MONEY! HOW GREEDY DO YOU HAVE TO FUCKING BE!
**********************************
Hell hath no fury like a cougar scorned, esp. a cougar scorned for a cub...or two...or three...
'cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, till you died
But you're still alive
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
You marry a little boy who cheats on you and uses you for years you get what you deserve. She should have played the victorious victim and not the scorned loose cannon, keep that shit private.
____________________________________________________
Don't start none and the'll be none.
with a nod to Rod Stewart - in the future:
Pick your ex-wives carefully.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Thu, 03/07/2013 - 8:19pm.
i'm sure there will be absolutely nothing further about these divorce proceedings that will be tacky and/or embarrassing to her children and humanity in general. sure of it.
-----------------------------------------------
Yeah but the taterheads think they can be models and actresses so I don't think any sense of shame runs in the family.
I think she semi lost it after her first divorce with Bruce Willis. It reflects on her behavior after this break up as typical. she's the type to live in the past for 15 years if she gets hurt and never gets over it. shame, she's only hurting herself and her kids, close friends and whoever else.
**************************************************
And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek: "She doesn't need the money, she just wants him to pay attention to her again. It's sad. I'd hate it if I knew my husband and that smug, "perfect woman" Mila Kunis were laughing at my ass. But unfortunately she's living that Alanis song right now. She's in straight out "You outta know" mode."
Agree on all points.
THEY BOTH HAVE ENOUGH MONEY! HOW GREEDY DO YOU HAVE TO FUCKING BE!
............................................
If anyone is going to pee on him it's going to be me.- Nicole Kidman
Submitted by asslesschaps on Thu, 03/07/2013 - 8:18pm.
*goes into garage to get agricultural lime, insecticide and agricultural Valtrex to dump along the Sacramento city limits*
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
i'm sure there will be absolutely nothing further about these divorce proceedings that will be tacky and/or embarrassing to her children and humanity in general. sure of it.
also, what Rande' said re: multiple factors...
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Escondido to Sacramento- as a North County SD resident I appreciate this somewhat random starting point of distance measurement for how far Doucheton Kutcher's wandering peen has roamed.
She doesn't need the money, she just wants him to pay attention to her again. It's sad. I'd hate it if I knew my husband and that smug, "perfect woman" Mila Kunis were laughing at my ass. But unfortunately she's living that Alanis song right now. She's in straight out "You outta know" mode.
Submitted by the original be... on Thu, 03/07/2013 - 7:38pm.
Also, in the state of CA unless the duration of marriage is 10 years or longer, you only get alimony for half the duration of the marriage.
Sorry, not to be completely rude, but it's way more complex than that, with multiple factors for the judge to consider. Check out some of the CA divorce sites online for a second opinion if you think I'm full of shit (which I often am).
Looks like that huge generation gap finally ran its course. Was bound to happen anyway...
http://learus.wordpress.com/