Would You Hit It?
Well, it was bound to happen, but today is the day when we're all staring in unison at the Dick Solomon in Joseph Gordon-Levitt's silky shorts. Congratulations to us all! Who knew that JGL looks hot even when he's making a constipation face. You're monitor is probably covered with a thin layer of self-tanner grease and AXE hair gel, and that's because in his new movie Don Jon, JGL plays a Jersey dude who is obsessed with chasing tricks, pumping iron and fapping to porn. It's almost like The Situation's life story. If there's a scene in JGL's movie where his character has butt sex with a Jacuzzi jet, The Situation is totally going to sue him for not paying for the rights to his life story.
Don Jon, which was directed by JGL and also stars ScarJo, Tony Danza and Julianne Moore, is currently screening at SXSW. JGL says his movie is "a comedy about how men and women treat each other, and how the media we consume can create unrealistic expectations that we put on one another. That's why the story centers around a relationship between a young man (played by me) who watches too much pornography and a young woman (played by Scarlett) who watches too many romantic Hollywood movies. It's a topic I personally find fascinating and hilarious."
Blah blah blah blah.... Doesn't JGL know that you don't sell a movie by yammering on and on about the plot? You sell a movie by telling us how many nude scenes, shirtless scenes and peen print scenes are in your movie. Nobody cares about the plot!
To answer my question in the headline, yes, I'd hit it and I'd hit Tony Danza too, but only if they kept their guido looks. And since JGL is a director now, maybe he can make my wet dreams come true by directing (and starring in) a gay porn parody of 3rd Rock from the Sun called 3rd Cock from my Buns.
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Yes, I would. JGL is one of my crushes in celebrity land. The kid is cute and talented. And, I like him in interviews.
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Mon, 03/11/2013 - 11:39pm.
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Love this RandéS. You know that's all ScarJo heard! HAHAHA
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Dlisted is a finalist! http://2013.bloggi.es/ Voting closes March 17.
Hell yes!
ScarJo looks like Hillary Duff.
JGL just never looks grown up, no matter how hard he tries.
oh crazy fish talking crazy again! how do your imaginary husbands deal with you? no one knows!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
He looked so good in a suit in Inception. So fucking good. But I agree with the "old face" comment - he's not aging well.
I'd hit it, but he's got old face. He seems like a nice guy and not a douche, so he can get away with old face. Is he playing italian in this movie because he looks 0% italian?????
Place that in the HIT IT bin...
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Heaux Confessionals:
Welcome to 'pulp friction'...
http://www.amazon.com/Heaux-Confessionals-The-Sintroduction-ebook/dp/B00...
Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!
Writer, director, and actor JGL to ScarJo: "Scarlett, hun, this is the scene where you and I become one. If done right, it's gonna knock the critics out and bump the Oscar buzz outtasight. The idea is you walk in on me while I'm watching porn. You're upset at first yet madly in love with me. You decide to show me that porn's no substitute for real love. You're braless and slip off your T..."
ScarJo: "Oscar buzz? For real? That's what Sean said, too."
Hmmm... idk maybe. Not Tony Danza.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Dlisted is a finalist! http://2013.bloggi.es/ Voting closes March 17.
Submitted by yucko on Mon, 03/11/2013 - 9:25pm.
Submitted by mschunkyvanderslut on Mon, 03/11/2013 - 6:33pm.
I would. Just one time. No blowie.
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"Blowie" is a word people really use? I once had a disturbing dream where someone used that with me.
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I use it *shrugs* that or beej. Lol
JSL NO...why? why?
tooo big for your body type.
you're a tiny guy, your going to end up looking like Ryan Gosling with the gorilla arms and shit and pigeon pecks.
Submitted by yucko on Mon, 03/11/2013 - 9:25pm.
Submitted by mschunkyvanderslut on Mon, 03/11/2013 - 6:33pm.
I would. Just one time. No blowie.
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"Blowie" is a word people really use? I once had a disturbing dream where someone used that with me.
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*snort* reading that made the water i just drank, come out of my nose
He is hot but I get a gay vibe. Also, Scarlett looks smoking hot in that thumbnail
Submitted by mschunkyvanderslut on Mon, 03/11/2013 - 6:33pm.
I would. Just one time. No blowie.
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"Blowie" is a word people really use? I once had a disturbing dream where someone used that with me.
Yes. I would hit it. Twice. I would make him say "AIEEEE, papi! Please, no mas!" And then I would give him mas anyway.
Never got his appeal, when he had long hair and was on the cover of all those Teen mags I thought he was of the female persuasion. He seems pretentious too, another one all about his "craft" although not nearly as irritating as Franco.
Austin is slowly being infiltrated and corrupted, nothing is safe from the trust fund tattooed hipster anymore.
3 kinda rhetorical questions: I heard he (JLG) juiced for this role, I wonder if that's true? Google didn't yield any definitive answers and I'm wondering if I imagined it. Is Tony Danza's character named Tony in this movie? WTF is the deal with that?
Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Mon, 03/11/2013 - 8:33pm.
I saw him in 50/50 (I really liked that movie).
^^^^^^^^^
I really liked it, too. Didn't think I would.
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"Paul McCartney always keeps bodyguards armed with bags of termites near him just in case Heather Mills shows up to attack his ass" MK
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 03/11/2013 - 8:08pm.
Submitted by mschunkyvanderslut on Mon, 03/11/2013 - 6:33pm.
I would. Just one time. No blowie.
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For some reason, this MADE MY NIGHT...No blowie!!!! *dying*...
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aww *bats eyelashes*
So glad the beotches on here thinks this eyesore is good looking.
That way, it leaves the handsome men for women of taste.
Yes, but please drop the weights. I saw him in 50/50 (I really liked that movie).
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Can I get my tattoo now?
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
He's talented and cute, but as some others have said, I only see a boy.
He's only like a year or 2 younger than me, but whenever I see him, I can only picture him as that little kid from 3rd Rock.
So no... no I wouldn't. Just too weird.
What? That kid is such a d-bag. I still can't wrap my brain around any valid reason he's popular. Ugh.
He and James Franco need to become a couple. And have Bieber drooling to be part of it.
Hacks.
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I have to laugh to keep from crying.
Submitted by mschunkyvanderslut on Mon, 03/11/2013 - 6:33pm.
I would. Just one time. No blowie.
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For some reason, this MADE MY NIGHT...No blowie!!!! *dying*...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I would but... probably not in his current state. I mean, not wearing those clothes, with that haircut, etc. Obviously this look is for the character, but it's not my thing.
Also, I would hint to JGL post-production to now focus on toning instead of bulking. Not like I could turn anybody down for not being "toned," but if we're talking about things that will never happen, I might as well be picky.
No! Too little.
JGL, yes! In a heartbeat! Thanks to being pregnant I had the most amazing sex dream about him a few weeks ago. He had a nice piece too :P
I would lick the baby batter off of his thighs!
Oh my god!!!!! YES!!!!! YES!!!!! I'd suck his dick too!!!!
I would. Just one time. No blowie.
Hell, YEAH!!!
I would even with Tony Danza. I SO do not care...he is interesting. I always liked him.
So...YEAAAAH to both!
I'd let him fuck me in a second. He has certainly grown up!
I would fuck him until his eyes no longer squinted.
"Git on that." --Michael K
Is that a serious question? Damn right I would!
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Mon, 03/11/2013 - 2:12pm
Netflix has it.
Huh.. no, I wouldn't.
He looks like a boy to me and that's too weird. Can't do it!
I so would ...plus he seems like the type that will cuddle and discuss the meaning of life with you afterwards. Bonus! :-)
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
I would do him but I got the feeling he has a small penis
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
yes of course, but he needs to tone it down. he's got a small frame he can't make it bigger without odd wrinkles and gross veins popping out.
HELL YES I WOULD. I'd be all over that like white on rice.
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A Lannister always pays his debts.
GG -- bustin' out the rim jobs -- yay!
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"Two eyes, two eyebrows."
Second thumbnail = gay porn still.
Hells Yaaaassssss!!!
I would tear his little ass up!!!
Handsome, talented and has sense. Still don't want. Reminds me of a little boy, even with the muscles. I cannot go there!
Luckily I don't remember him as a kid. So yes. A lot
I like a lot of his film choices and I think he's a very good actor, but sexually, he does absolutely nothing for me.
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FACTS are a liberal conspiracy!!!
hot he is not
Twatty, you kill me!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
snowpiece -- and she probably gives rim jobs to everyone, too!!!
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"Two eyes, two eyebrows."
Submitted by Ecce Homo on Mon, 03/11/2013 - 2:33pm.
Hahahaha, great response sir! =P