Can I Get "Things That Will Happen When Hell Freezes Over" For $200, Alex?
Matt Lauer's current $25-million-a-year contract with NBC will not be renewed, because Today's viewers went from loving to hate-watch him to hating to hate-watch him. Alex Trebek's final contract as host of Jeopardy! ends sort of around the same time that Matt Lauer's contract ends and you know where I'm going with this so let's just all scream NOOOOOOO! together.
The New York Post says that in 2016, 72-year-old Alex Trebek will retire as host of Jeopardy! and Sony Pictures Television, who owns the show, is already putting together a list of possible replacements. Matt Lauer, who is currently at the bottom of the People I Want To Watch In The Morning list, is at the top of Sony's list. Alex has had a few heart problems recently, so he wanted to quit that bitch and retire this year. But Sony convinced him to stay for three more years, because they told him they need a lot of time to find his replacement.
Sony is also thinking of talking to America's sweetheart Anderson Cooper about taking the job. The Silver Fox is apparently into it. The Silver Fox hosted The Mole for a quick minute (and he always has an invitation to be the host of My Hole, sorry) and he likes the idea of hosting a game show, because the shooting schedule is easy. Sony thinks they're still a year-and-a-half away from seriously talking to The Silver Fox or Matt Lauer about the job, but a source says that major moves could be made before then.
America is thisclose to getting rid of Matt Lauer and Jeopardy! is already planning his return to television? Damn them. Matt Lauer is better than Alex Trebek at some things (example: Matt Lauer does a criminal check on every call girl he gets from the Yellow Pages. Alex made a rookie mistake), but hosting a game show isn't one of them. The silver-topped Canadian raisin that is Alex Trebek cannot be replaced!
But if Sony insists on going on with the show and replacing Alex Trebek, they should replace him with Sean Connery. Then Alex can be a contestant and he can mess with Sean for once.
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Matt Lauer makes $25-million a year??? WTH?
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Dlisted is a finalist! http://2013.bloggi.es/ Voting closes March 17.
I think Matt Lauer forcing out Ann Curry backfired. There was a lot of sympathy for Ann Curry. Katie Couric said that Matt Lauer used to grab her butt , or smack it, whatever, so that was damaging. I think the ratings are going down anyway, and Matt looked more like a weazel than ever by backstabbing Ann Curry.
And I wonder if Matt Fuckin idiot Lauer ever thinks about the innocent people who died while he was cheer leading for some stupid war that had absolutely nothing to do with 911. He's a coward and fraud and needs to be treated as such.
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What is her problem? She's just laying there...
He promoted an illegal and immoral war so Georgie, over sized frat boy child, could get his vengeance on Saddam and kiss up to his dad who never loved him. Fuck Matt Lauer.Matt Lauer can suck it.
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What is her problem? She's just laying there...
From anchoring the top-rated morning news show in America to hosting a game show where people say thing like "potent potables". Yeah, that works.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I still like Matt Lauer I don't care what anybody says. Today is a good morning show.
Submitted by saltydog on Fri, 03/15/2013 - 2:59pm.
I think Anderson Cooper would be a great host, because he is handsome and well spoken and always comes across as a know-it-all, self satisfied douche....so perfect for game shows.
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HAHAHAHAHA!!
This post is perfect--it starts off smooth & complimentary, then abruptly veers into (accurate) snark brilliantly. Well done!!
Submitted by Anita Bidet on Fri, 03/15/2013 - 3:31pm.
SCTV was making fun of Jeopardy 20 years before SNL
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Thanks, Anita - that was classic!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Enjoy Anderson talking about his Jeopardy! experiences.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Z7M_DKxzic
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
SCTV was making fun of Jeopardy 20 years before SNL
http://youtu.be/5xlrJ7qoTLU
I think Anderson Cooper would be a great host, because he is handsome and well spoken and always comes across as a know-it-all, self satisfied douche....so perfect for game shows.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Fri, 03/15/2013 - 12:12pm.
I've got an idea -- do a Where in the World is Matt Lauer show.. and then don't look for him. asshole. Go hide for a while.
THIS!!!!!
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Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps. ~ Emo Phillips
AC would be fine, but I'd love Craig Ferguson in the role (and Geoff. And Pantomime Horse).
If Matt gets the job, it's over -- and this is coming from someone whose child's first song was the Jeopardy theme.
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"Not judging or being gossipy on Dlisted is like when I go to a hotel with a bag of dildos and I get stoned and wind up using the bed to watch Judge Judy and that's it." -- SFRBully, 1/24/2013
I'd watch Jeopardy with AC
Sawrry MK, but your silver fox isn't nearly smart enough to host Jeopardy.
I love love love Jeopardy! Sad to see Trebek leave.
A Cambridge type like Peter Ackroyd maybe. I'm pretty sure David Duchovny will be gunning for this. He's a smarty.
i have no doubt that he's a pud, but i have no issues with lauer.
i'm team willie geist, though. love the willie.
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watching hardcore ufos
Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 03/15/2013 - 1:02pm.
I'll take "Catch The Semen" for $300
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TREBEK: It's NOT Catch The Semen, Sean Connery!
CONNERY: Is that what the mustache is for, Trebek???
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
"THE DAY IS MINE!I'll take famous titties for 400!"
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"you chickens need to go back to the coup, you need to lay some fucking eggs and do your fucking job, you scrambled ass bitch!"-Shane Dawson
I'll take "Catch The Semen" for $300
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
oooh bitch got BURNED. Alex threw shade at Taylor Swift:
http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/tv/double_trouble_taylor_swift_lov...
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You gotta be fresh!
oooh bitch got BURNED. Alex threw shade at Taylor Swift:
http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/tv/double_trouble_taylor_swift_lov...
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You gotta be fresh!
Ok. I'll quit after this, but...
Alex: Burt Reynolds has apparently changed his name to Turd Ferguson.
Burt Reynolds: Yeah. That's right. It's a funny name.
Alex: Great.
I'll take Anal Bum Cover for $7,000!
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You gotta be fresh!
Sean Connery:I'll take Jap anus relations for 200.
Alex Trebek: That's Japan US relations. That's just awful and you know it!
LMAO! Please, we saw what happen when Drew Carey took over for Bob Barker on the Price is Right. That show has been shit ever since!
Or my personal favorite "I garfunkled your mother last night Trebek."
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"you chickens need to go back to the coup, you need to lay some fucking eggs and do your fucking job, you scrambled ass bitch!"-Shane Dawson
Here's one from hulu:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/12203
Sean Connery, Burt Reynolds and French Stewart
Matt Lauer did this to himself.
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Dark-sided!
Friggen love Jeopardy and feel so smart when I actually know an answer or two. Although Alex is a condescending dbag he does seem like he has a brain, unlike Matt who probably carries around a cheat-sheet on how to tie his shoes. I LOVE the idea of AC being the host. I would set my DVR for that shit.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 03/15/2013 - 12:46pm.
I'll take "The Rapists" for $300
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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! You fucker! :)
*pees pants*
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
Sean: That goes in the Rrsss
Alex: No. No It doesn't.
Sean: That's not what your Mother said.
Now is the time. You're not promised tomorrow. -PR
Let's all just wander off to youtube and watch snl jeopardy clips! The best ones are with Burt Reynolds and Sean Connery.
I love it when Alex is soooo exasperated.
Alex: OK. Final Jeopardy. All we want is a number. Pick ANY number. You don't even have to put it in a question. Just write down ANY number.
Why can't they pick meeeee to host Jeopardy!? I loove that shoooowwwwww. So what if I'm a girl and no one knows my name?
Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 03/15/2013 - 12:46pm.
I'll take "The Rapists" for $300
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Ohhh Suckandfuck, I have no clever replies for you! :)
I'll take "The Rapists" for $300
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
No. Alex Trebek is not allowed to leave Jeopardy. This is unacceptable. And Matt Lauer would suck on Jeopardy anyway. AnderCoo could do it, but he won't get a chance to, because Alex can't leave.
"SUCK IT, TREBEK! HA HA HA"
Submitted by Dion flowerboy on Fri, 03/15/2013 - 12:22pm.
The AC who should replace Alex is Alice Cooper. Now I'd watch that shit.
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A W E S O M E
Submitted by Super Stew on Fri, 03/15/2013 - 12:16pm.
Loved Norm McDonald as Burt Reynolds. And the guy who played Sean Connery was hysterical.
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Sean Connery: I'll take The Rapists for $200
Alex: That's "therapists"...
The Silver Fox hosted The Mole for a quick minute (and he always has an invitation to be the host of My Hole, sorry
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I can hear Anderson Cooper giggling after reading that! You know he *must* read this site!
"(and he always has an invitation to be the host of My Hole, sorry)"
what kind of show is called "my hole" sounds fucking gay
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Why does Matt Lauer need to host ANYTHING? The guy is worth millions. Just "retire" and spend that money on hookers, or whatever.
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Douchechill!
Somebody with a British accent will replace Alex Trebek.
Ryan Lochte for Things That Sizzle.
Anderson Cooper can replace either one of them - he needs to stay far away from straight news. He's way too sparkly and silly to be taken seriously as a foreign correspondent.
I have no input on this crap since I don't watch much news or TV outside of Drag Race and Doctor Who. lol...I do however now have the Jeopardy theme song stuck in my head...:-/ ugh.
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Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!!
Aw hell to tha NO! That OU Fratboy/ aging himbo can go do internet soaps or something. The AC who should replace Alex is Alice Cooper. Now I'd watch that shit.
And don't get any ideas, Gaycrest.
What is all the hubbub about Matt Lauer? Sorry, I think I;ve only watched Today unless I was in a hospital with no choice. He forced Ann Curry out or something? What else did he do? He'll always get points from me for pissing off Tom Cruise and allowing him to reveal his Scientology-inspired ignorance about depression and mental disorders.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Can't they just get some random, yet qualified person to host the show? Why do they always replace game show hosts with has-been assholes who no one liked in the first place?
Matt Lauer: "What is the world's worst idea since White Oprah called herself White Oprah" for $500, Alex"
-LA Juice, because "OJ" was taken.
Last night I watched the Golden Girls episode when Dorothy tries out for Jeopardy! and has a dream about Alex Trebek. He was a Canadian hockey playing-egghead hottie 20 years ago, and still very hot for 70!
As much as I love AC, there is NO WAY he can host that show. Anderson performed abysmally as a celebrity contestant. He was good natured, if unapologetic about his own cluelessness.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Loved Norm McDonald as Burt Reynolds. And the guy who played Sean Connery was hysterical.
The subject was 'An Album Cover' and Norm kept saying, "I'll have 'Anal Bum Cover' for $100."
I was CRYING!!!!!!
That being said, I will NEVER watch ML. He should enjoy his new role as a pariah and be shunned and ridiculed for the rest of eternity.