Hot Slut Of The Day!
The Rollie EggMaster Egg Cooking System!
Making eggs is really, really hard (no, it really, really isn’t). When you crack one open, the yolk flies everywhere (no, it doesn’t) and afterward your kitchen counter and cooktop look like they were the scene of a messy, gross bukkake orgy with a bunch of hens. When you cook them on a pan, they fall apart and it gets so frustrating that you just break down on the floor, punch the kitchen cabinets and yell at everyone around you before running into your bedroom to soothe your nerves with a bottle vodka and a few dozen bong hits. That’s why some of us are stoner drunks. Making eggs did that to us!
Well, the genius brains behind the Rollie EggMaster Egg Cooking System don’t want you to have a nervous breakdown while making eggs, so they invented a plastic thermos that cooks eggs perfectly every single time! You just crack an egg into it and minutes later out will come some nasty shit that looks like a barf Churro or like a gigantic tampon (fun fact: Jon Hamm’s piece has to use a tampon that size after she has sex with him. The things the Hammaconda does to her).
And it also doubles as a ghetto, at-home insemination machine. Just pour a cup of potent sperm into it, wait a few minutes and out will come a jizz tampon. You know what to do next. OctoMom is calling in right now to ask them if they take WIC.
via Laughing Squid