Snooki Looked As Natural And Fresh As Ever At The MTV Movie Awards
If Mushu from Mulan shoved two stress balls in his cheeks, dipped himself in melted wax,taped two rubber tarantulas onto his eyelids, glued white Chiclets over his teeth, squeezed himself into a clearance rack gown from Windsor Fashions and put on a polyester wig that weighs more than him, he’d look exactly like Snooki at last night’s MTV Movie Awards.
Snooki says that she lost a whole lot of chunk, but it looks more like all of her body fat went straight up to her head and weave. Bitch looks like a bobblehead doll of Miss Midget South America 1989 (please tell me such a pageant exists). Ho is giving us some “Oompa Loompa in Kardashian drag” glamour.
And here’s a few other tricks and tramps from last night’s show. In order: Snooki, a rubber Thundercats action figure in a dress, Eddie Redmayne, the last place loser in a Steve Nicks look-alike contest sponsored by Hot Topic, Macklemore with Ryan Lewis, RUUUUU!, Selena Gomez (wearing one of Charo’s old costumes), Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldana, Kerry Washington and a bloated and constipated alien.