Everybody On The Set Of Katie Holmes’ New Movie Wants To Do Her

Some of us are looking at that picture like it’s the opposite of sexy, because Katie Holmes looks like she’s in the middle of taking an extended dump and just realized that there’s only one wipe worth of toilet paper left. That is totally a “Do I pull up my panties and chance it or do I risk dripping on the floor by squat walking to the next bathroom?” face. But dudes on the NYC set of Katie’s movie are looking at the sight of her sitting there and telling themselves that they want to see that on their toilet the morning after.

Katie and Luke Kirby are currently playing manic depressives in love in the Spike Lee-produced movie Mania Days and it’s a damn miracle that they get any work done, because every dude on set keeps trying to get on her. A source tells Page Six, “There were crew members and extras just chancing it. It really got on the nerves of director Paul Dalio. Needless to say, she said no to everyone.” The source says that so far seven dudes have asked Katie out.

Katie should give her publicist a bonus for getting that little story in Page Six.

Those crew members and extras asking Katie out need to know that it takes a special kind of dude to date the former duchess of Scientology. Not just any dude can date Katie Holmes. In order to date her, you have to be okay with Suri Cruise dry heaving every time you show up to her apartment wearing sneakers you bought on clearance at Foot Locker. That’s one thing you have to be okay with. You also have to be okay with dying young, because Tommy Girl will probably have you killed. If you’re okay with both of those things, ask away!

Here’s more pictures of Katie Holmes and Luke Kirby as manic depressives in love. I’m already learning things from this movie! I just learned that a symptom of manic depression is wearing a t-shirt with jeans.