Kai The Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker Is Wanted For Murder (UPDATE)
First we find out that Antoine Dodson is un-gaying himself, then we find out that Cleveland hero Charles Ramsey was in prison for committing domestic abuse years ago and now THIS! If Sweet Brown is arrested on arson charges, then the Internet needs to take its final bow and exit the stage.
Kai the Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker might soon be known as Kai the Hatchet Wielding Murderer. ABC 30 says that police in Union City, New Jersey have issued a warrant for Kai the Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker (born name: Caleb Lawrence McGillvary). Police believe that Kai used something (probably his hatchet) to smash smash smu-ash a man to death. Joseph Galfy, the victim, was found dead inside his home three days ago. Authorities say that an autopsy showed that Joseph Galfy died from blunt force trauma to the head. The authorities didn’t say what Joseph Galfy’s relationship to the stoner homeless Thor was, but they did say that Kai cut his hair and was last seen getting on a train.
The police consider him armed and dangerous. DUH! He has a hatchet.
Kai became an internet hero superstar earlier this year when he beat down a crazy racist who was violently attacking a woman in Fresno.
Life was so much simpler then. Those were the days when Kai used his hatchet for good instead of evil. ….Unless, maybe Joseph Galfy was an evil doer and Kai is like a hatchet-wielding stoner Dexter. Yeah, probably not. This has smash smash smuh-ashed my heart into a million pieces. I don’t know the Internet anymore!
UPDATE: A dude on Facebook who could be Kai left this on his wall on Tuesday:
what would you do if you woke up with a groggy head, metallic taste in your mouth, in a strangers house… walked to the mirror and seen come dripping from the side of your face from your mouth, and started wretching, realizing that someone had drugged, raped, and blown their fuckin load in you? what would you do?
So I guess the answer is smash smash smu-ash that someone to death and then skip town?
(Thanks, Grace)