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Star Jones at a Dancing with the Stars after-party on 11/14

Star Jones: Ok..um...err....well...her...um...her new adam's apple goes with her tit scar! Is that nice?

Michael Jackson was supposed to perform "Thriller" at tonight's World Music Awards in London and instead he sang a chorus from "We are the World" surrounded by children. Um...should he really be around all those kids? Thriller was instead performed by Chris Brown in honor of Jacko. He apparently looked nervous and uncomfortable accepting his award. Shit, I'm uncomfortable just looking at him.

Do yourself a favor and don't look too closely at his nose. I think that's the 8th Wonder of the World.

Victoria Silvstedt and Parasite Hilton at the WMAs on 11/15 in London

Suri Cruise made a rare appearance in Rome this evening. Tom and Katie brought her out as they went to the City Hall in Rome. Is Suri dead? She's not moving and she's still Asian. She's going to grow up looking like a hotter Lucy Liu.

Will Tom cut his damn shag already!?

BWE has this clip from last night's premiere of "Show Me the Money." It's one of those "Deal or No Deal" game shows, but with many more rules and much more complicated. I caught a few minutes of it and I'm glad I did. I was able to see William Shatner try to keep it together when this extreme homosexual broke out into the gay dance of the Gods.

Pretty hoes at a "Cafe Fuego" event on 11/14

Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry make me happy. I'm not sure why. I don't really like Halle, actually she bothers me usually. Gabriel looks like a male escort, but together they work. They look happy and pretty and that makes me feel happy and pretty. It's almost enough to melt my black, cold heart.

Desperate much? Jordan claims she's worth almost $1 Billion, but homegirl doesn't dress like it. This dress cost $2.99 and was on sale at her local grocery store. Ugh...she smells of pathetica. Peter Andre is pure grease and she's pure cheese. They were of course the first to arrive at the World Music Awards in London today. They were probably told that if they don't show up 3 hours before the show they will give their seats away.

Who am I fooling? She's gorge.

Angelina deserves a break today - Just Jared

Perez Hilton gets served while stuffing his face - ICYDK

Maddox gets photoshopped - Popbytes

Star swaps - Cityrag

Bimbos on a plane - Egotastic!

Some dude swears the Britney sex tape is real - Hollywood Rag

You insult Fergie and you insult God - IDLYITW

Adam Brody finds the wax - Popsugar

Jessica Biel works out a lot - Mollygood

Oh snap to JLo! - Celebrity Nation

Michelle Rodriguez's girlfriend is really hot - Hollywood Tuna

Pamela Anderson pulled out her fake tits and put on a hideous gold dress to appear on Jimmy Kimmel on Tuesday. She came out and sprayed champagne all over him and then hopped over the sofa exposing her crusty panties. What a class act is. Shouldn't a mother of 65 have a little more class?

Lindsay Lohan skipped the premiere party and movie screening of "Casino Royale" last night and instead settled for the after-party. She was probably in her hotel and smelled coke and booze and immediately threw on this fake fur. Lohan is hosting the World Music Awards tonight.