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Ok, remember how I wrote about Mimi the cat from Brazil whose owner claims she was banged by a dog and gave birth to puppies? Scientists were called in to verify her lies and well her lies were verified.

The scientist said, “People who aren’t experts often imagine things. All the facts contradict her.”

Mimi's owner probably only did it for attention, cause she hates herself. She was selfish and made Mimi look like the skank-tramp she is, so that she can get some publicity. This doesn't change the fact that Mimi gave her bagina up to a dog. I totally believe that. Homegirl has "dog wang lover" written all over her!

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I know, I'm beating this horse harder than Jacko beats it at a pre-school! I'll stop!

Thanks Brother

The American Music Awards mega-picture-post including a beatdown Beyonce- Egotastic!

Claudia Schiffer scares me - The Bastardly

Taye Diggs and Ashlee Simpson dating? NOOOO - IDLYITW

Jessica Simpson is a booze hound - Hollywood Tuna

Is Angelina in Cambodia? - Just Jared

Bald celebrities - Cityrag

The Superficial friends - Hollywood Rag

Britney may bring her broke weave to Miami Fo-Eva - A Socialite's Life

Ok, so I guess Britney wasn't happy about the KFed negativity last night - TMZ

The Mexican hotness that is Gael Garcia and his "Y Tu Mama Tambien" co-star, Diego Luna, are in support of the gays of Mexico. The two were among 51 people who wrote an open-letter to support legalizing gay civil unions in Mexico. The letter said:

"The vote for the civil-unions law was a vote in favor of liberty, social equality and the strength of civil society."

The law was signed by the mayor and will go into effect in the next few months. It allows same-sex couples living in Mexico City to register civil unions with authorities, granting them inheritance rights and other benefits typically given to spouses.

Mexico is ahead of us and that's sad. I want to be able to get married legally, so that I can divorce legally and get alimony. Holla!

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AssHo Simpson brought her new man to the AMAs last night. Aren't they a hot couple? Seriously, does this skank own a brush? She needs to brush that weave and then set fire to it. While she's at it, she needs to brush the crabs from her chocha that she caught from her papi.

Don Johnson will star as Nathan Detroit in "Guys and Dolls" in London's West End. He will follow a fellow D-lister, Patrick Swayze. He starts performance in January 2007 when Patrick leaves.

Though Johnson is best known for his television work on Miami Vice (for which he won a Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Television Series in 1985) and Nash Bridges, he trained as a stage actor at San Francisco's American Conservatory Theatre. He had his first major role was onstage when he played Smitty in the 1969 Los Angeles production of Fortune and Men's Eyes. He has also had a recording career with his hit single "Heartbeat," the title track of his 1987 debut album that reached Number 5 on the Billboard charts. A second album, Let It Roll, followed in 1989. He also recorded a duet with Barbra Streisand called "Till I Loved You" that was the theme song to the 1987 film Nuts, in which she starred. His film credits include The Hot Spot, Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man, Paradise, Born Yesterday, Guilty as Sin, In Pursuit of Honor, Tin Cup and Goodbye Lover.

Heartbeat is seriously one of my favorite songs. I hope they somehow add it to the show. That should be Don's encore. God, this is going to suck.

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Blohan worked with Robert Altman last year and she seems pretty torn up about his death. Actually, she was probably coked out of her mind and had a blackberry handy where she could jot down her "thoughts." Here's her extremely long statement that gives War and Peace a run for its money. I will translate for you in BOLD:

"I would like to send my condolences out to Catherine Altman, Robert Altmans wife, as well as all of his immediate family, close friends, co-workers, and all of his inner circle.

"I am really high...this coke is good! You know some people say to get it from Colombia, but damn Mexican coke is better!"

"I feel as if I've just had the wind knocked out of me and my heart aches.

"I can't breathe this stuff is so good"

"If not only my heart but the heart of Mr. Altman's wife and family and many fellow actors/artists that admire him for his work and love him for making people laugh whenever and however he could..

"My heart is beating so fast, I need a valium to counter it."

"Robert altman made dreams possible for many independent aspiring filmmakers, as well as creating roles for countless actors.

"Oh and some think RoMan, that's what I called him, couldn't get it up. But he sure got it up when I was on my knees."

"I am lucky enough to of been able to work with Robert Altman amongst the other greats on a film that I can genuinely say created a turning point in my career.

"I had to swallow so he could give me lines on the movie."

"I learned so much from Altman and he was the closest thing to my father and grandfather that I really do believe I've had in several years. The point is, he made a difference.

"The point is...I'm high."

"He left us with a legend that all of us have the ability to do.

"I gave him the clap."

"So every day when you wake up. Look in the mirror and thank god for every second you have and cherish all moments. The fighting, the anger, the drama is tedious. Please just take each moment day by day and consider yourself lucky to breathe and feel at all and smile. Be thankful. Life comes once, doesn't 'keep coming back' and we all take such advantage of what we have. When we shouldn't..... ' Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourselves' (12st book) -everytime there's a triumph in the world a million souls hafta be trampled on.-altman Its true. But treasure each triumph as they come. If I can do anything for those who are in a very hard time right now, as I'm one of them with hearing this news, please take advantage of the fact that I'm just a phone call away.

"What am I talking about again?"

God Bless, peace and love always.

Thank You,

"BE ADEQUITE"

Lindsay Lohan

Adequite?! What's that? Seriously, what is that? Is that code for doing lines off her va-jay-jay?

Oh that girl and I also think she was high when she got the idea that she should do a Stevie Nicks biopic. Yup!

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Tawny Kitaen busted for coke - SOW

Oooh, the cops have more questions for Howard K. Stern - ICYDK

I'm sure you're busted up over this, but there will be no "Revenge of the Nerds" remake - Us Weekly

Britney Spears doesn't mind the KFed bashing at last night's AMAs - TMZ

Did Rosie O out Clay? - BLDE

on her divorce to Macca:

"I would rather someone come up and chop off all my limbs than go through what I went through."

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Barbara Bush (no, not the old lady...the drunk) was on vacation in Argentina when she got jacked. She was in a restaurant and was being guarded by the secret service when her purse and celly were stolen. Babs was out in about in San Temo near Buenos Aires when thieves snatched her purse from under the table with the secret service standing nearby. This is what our tax dollars is paying for?!

The secret service were previously involved in an altercation in Argentina. An agent got his ass beat after an attempted mugging. Barbara was probably so drunk and went home with a dude and left her puss and celly. I know how it is.

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