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KFed partied at Prive in Miami and this brings up a lot of questions. First, how was he let in? Second, why are people still taking his photo? Third, does Greyhound go to Miami? I mean....oh and I have no idea who that old dude is.

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Harrison Ford will don the khakis yet again for Indiana Jones 4! Shooting will begin next year for a 2008 release. George Lucas confirmed that he's finalized the final script with Steven Spielberg.

He said, "It's going to be fantastic. It's going to be the best one yet. Mostly, it's the charm of Harrison that makes it work." Harrison's old ass is 64, but George insists he's fit enough to work. He promises that the next one will be filled with many mysteries.

Yeah one of the biggest mysteries will be how on Earth an old ass like this is doing these stunts? Calista Flockhart should totally sign up to play a mummy.

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Steve-O seems to be lighting something up at Prive last night in Miami. He partied with Lindsay Lohan, KFed, Fat Joe and Nick Cannon. Whatever he's smoking, pass it. He's ghetto so it's probably the crackazz on a lightbulb.

Larry Flynt

Joe McIntyre (34)
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Anthony Hopkins (69)

Michael Jackson made a rare public appearance in Augusta, Georgia today at the funeral of James Brown. Michael was greeted by cheers from the audience as he made out with a dead James Brown and then spoke. He told the audience, "Ever since I was a small child - no more than six-years-old - my mother would wake me no matter what time it was to watch the television to see the master at work. Every time I saw him move I was mesmerized. I've never seen a performer like JB and right then and there, I knew that was exactly what wanted I to do with my life. James Brown, I shall miss you and I love you so much. Thank you for everything."

Michael also refused to take part in a performance of "Sex Machine" and opted to stay in his seat. His ass was probably wet from making out with James. Either that or he was getting a close look to see what kind of make-up they used to get some tips.

Jesse Jackson, MC Hammer, Al Sharpton and Tomi Ray Hyne were also in attendance.

Tiger Woods and his hot wife, Elin Nordegren, are expecting their first child. Tiger released this statement today:

"As some of you know, today is my 31st birthday. I'll spend it quietly with family and friends, but Elin and I have more exciting news to share: We are expecting our first child together this summer. Obviously, we couldn't be happier and our families are thrilled," said Woods. "I have always wanted to be a dad. I just wish my father could be around to share the experience."

Hopefully, this kid will inherit her looks and his brains.

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Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian opened their ho hearts enough to visit the Royal North Shore Childrens Hospital in Sydney. By visit I mean pose next to sick kids without touching them or showing them any kind of affection. Paris also signed autographs outside and posed with fans. She's posting next to that poor baby like it's a tourist attraction. You know she's grossed out, but that baby is grossed out more.

Mary Lynn Rajskub

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