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A Real Keeper

Lindsay Lohan's new supposed dude, Spencer Guilburt, talked to PageSix.com about his whatever relationship with the L one. He said they met through mutual friends. No, the mutual friend wasn't a community crack pipe although I thought about it for a split second. Lindsay doesn't do that anymore!

Spencer said, "I've seen her a lot since she's been home. And expect to see me with her more. If I'm dating Lindsay, Lindsay will let you know. It will come out soon enough." Okay, he's barely been dating her and already talking to the media. Yeah, this one's a keeper. Lindsay needs this dude like she needs another pair of black leggings. He better not get too comfortable.

In other L news! She called into a Las Vegas radio station this morning to win Hannah Montana tickets for her friend's young nieces. She talked about boring stuff like not going out so much and how she's working on her album right now.

She also said she wants to go to Africa soon because she, "really loves children and it would be nice to give back."

Hold up....she has to call in to get Hannah Montana tickets? Um....Hannahn Montana is a current Disney hooker and Lindsay used to be a hooker for the Big D. Shouldn't Pimp Disney throw a few tickets to their old ho? Cheap ass Disney!

Posted by: Michael K

93 comments

Lindsay Lohan

Texas Will Get To See Jessica's Fat Mouth On The Silver Screen

Jessica Simpson's cinematic masterpiece "Blonde Ambition" will be released in theaters on December 21st reports People . Well, theaters in Texas.

The production company putting out this junk said they will release it in Texas and then decide what to do next. It was reported that it was going straight to DVD in January. The production company said, "It is being released in this crowded marketplace in eight theaters in Texas The reason we chose Texas is the two stars are from Texas: Jessica Simpson and Luke Wilson. As an independent studio, we, as a rule, don't have major wide releases. It's a very common release practice for independent studios."

"It is a very cute film that Jessica fans will love and be thrilled with. We've done a second film with Jessica, Major Movie Star [slated for 2008 release], and we have all the confidence in her."

Does this mean Jessica will be up for an Oscar next year, because you totally know she's a major contender. What did Texas do to deserve this? Instead of getting an additional screen to show "Alvin and the Chipmunks" they have to give it up for Jessica's mess. They should just show it in porn theaters, because the only people who are going to see that shit are dirty men that like to choke their shit in public.

Posted by: Michael K

175 comments

Jessica Simpson

Shiloh Is Influential

Forbes Magazine has named the spawn of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Shiloh-Nouvel, as the most influential infant. The magazine looked at web and press coverage to determine their list. They narrowed their list down and then turned to a marketing research firm for awareness data for the kids and consumer-appeal rankings for their celebrity parents. That's a lot of work for a bunch of babies.

They chose Shiloh as #1, because they found over 2,000 articles about her just in the past year. Here's how the rest of the list worked out:

1. Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt

2. Suri Cruise

3. Zahara Jolie-Pitt

4. Sean Preston Federline

5. Pax Jolie-Pitt

6. Sam Alexis Woods (Tiger Woods' kid)

7. David Banda (Madonna's kid)

8. Danielynn Hope Birkhead

9. Romeo Beckham

10. Cruz Beckham

Maddox was too old for the list. A list about influential babies is a little weird, but ok?

I just don't see how they couldn't have included Jayden James in their list. Shit, actually Brit Brit herself should've been #1. She's the biggest Hollywood baby of them all.

Posted by: Michael K

356 comments

Brats

Rupert Everett Confuses Me

Openly gay actor, Rupert Everett, said that if he was a straight dude he'd probably be a monster. The 48-year-old thanks his sexuality for keeping him sane.

He said, "It's just as well I'm gay. If I was straight, I'd be a hopeless mad movie star who fucks everything that moves. That's what I'd be like - married to every single girl that I'd worked with, on wife number 10 by now, always being sued for divorce because I'd been caught with two chicks somewhere. Or I'd be like a rapper - three girls at the same time, coke, orgies, yachts. I would be a monster, actually. I'd have to be competitive on a lad level with all those other male movie stars."

I am so confused by what he said. I can't even wrap my gay brains around the thought of being a straight dude. Straight chick, yes. I'd be an uber slut. I'd probably be on my 3rd vagina transplant if I was a straight chick. Straight dude....I mean, I'd probably be married with 2 kids, a minivan and living in Paw Paw, West Virginia.

I'm sure being a gay dude he's had plenty of orgies and coke parties.

Source

Posted by: Michael K

66 comments

Gay

What The Hell Kind Of GD Outfit Is This?!

I know Bai Ling dresses Bai Ling, but she needs to fire herself as her own stylist. This outfit looks like the fashion show from "Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead" and every character in "The Chronicles of Narnia" crashed into each other and exploded all over Bai Ling.

Here's Bai molesting Santey Claus at the "Remember to Give" party last night. Being molested by Bai must be painful. Her nipples are like ginzu knives and could cut through soda cans.

BONUS! Below Bai is that hot ass fashion show from "Don't Tell Mom....." I swear this is the hottest fashion show in the history of fashion shows.

Posted by: Michael K

70 comments

Bai Ling

Friday, December 14th 2007

Bai Ling

Friday, December 14th 2007

Bai Ling and Santa

Friday, December 14th 2007

Bai Ling and Santa

Friday, December 14th 2007

Bai Ling and Santa

Models Should Not Talk

One of the finalists from "America's Most Smartest Models" on Vh1 is pissed at the network for not defending him. Andre Birleanu is in trouble after 2 women claimed he molested them at Cipriani Downtown in NYC. Andre said Vh1 told him to shut his mouth, but they didn't defend him either.

He told Page Six , "VH1 has not allowed me to comment to the press or to clear my name. They tell me not to say anything, but then they don't stand up for me. I lost a billboard campaign in the middle of Times Square for South Pole. I lost a photo shoot with Target, and a Calvin Klein ad . . . it has been terrible for my career."

"I love the pictures. But VH1 needs to release me from my contract now - I am hot now. I am losing a lot because of VH1. I made them money and they destroyed me."

I am hot now. HAH! Who the fuck talks like that? Only people in porn movies say shit like that. Andre needs to shut his hot Russian mouth already. Just stand there and be hot. Nobody really cares what he has to say or what he thinks. He can say "I am hot" and that's it. Other than that he needs to cheese it!

We'll find out if Andre wins or not this Sunday night. There's no way this bitch is going to win.

Posted by: Michael K

75 comments

Arrests • Dumbasses • Reality TV