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Friday, May 4th 2007
Paris Hilton Will Go to Jail!
A judge has just ordered Paris Hilton to 45 days in the clink for violating her probation. She begins serving on June 5th and if she doesn't serve onor before then she will get 90 days. The judge said she must do all the time and it not allowed a work release, use of an alternative jail or electronic monitoring in lieu of jail. She will serve at a woman's jail in Lynwood, CA.
There is justice in this world!!!!
TMZ reports that Wonky blamed her pr whore, Elliot Mintz, for telling her that her license was not suspended. The judge told her that she signed a document stating that her license was suspended for 4 months. She said she didn't know what she was signing, she just signed it.
Before the judge's ruling she cried and told the court ""I'm very sorry and from now on I'm going to pay complete attention to everything. I'm sorry and I did not do it on purpose at all."
Unfortch, the judge was a hot ho and didn't buy any of her dumb excuses. He also didn't like when she blamed her handlers.
Her parents were also in the room and Kathy is apparently very upset. AHAHAHAHAH! Their pain is my joy! Bitch got what she deserved.
Hopefully someone in the slammer will give her another wonk eye to the match the one she already has!
Bonus! While waiting for the judge's ruling I was bored and googled "paris hilton vagina" and look what I got on the second page. Genius! Click here to see, but it's extremely NSFW! I don't even know if it's safe for humans! But it is basically what you get when you deal with her vagina!
Friday, May 4th 2007
High Waisted & Sequined
Behold the new Princess of fug fashion! We get it Mischa Barton, you love to look as hideous as possible. Disco is dead! It really is, but Mischa really can't let go. High-wasted, sequined pants?! What is the meaning of this! I can't even talk about the face. She was at the same event as Rachel Zoe , so maybe the life was sucked out of her.
Upon looking at these photos Liza Minnelli is going through her closet right now to make sure all her pants are in check.
Friday, May 4th 2007
Michelle Rodriguez Claims She Doesn't Like the Snatch
Curve Magazine supposedly printed some article which states that Michelle Rodriguez was coming out as a beaver eater. The magazine actually never states this, but for some reason the rumor started. MRod decided she needed to speak out on her website . She says:
As far as rumors go of me coming out, I guess curve magazine took it upon themselves to out me on the premise of their own suspicions. Whatever, I'm not insulted, I have a big lesbian following, and for whatever reasons they show me love I'm never going to shun, disrespect or neglect anybody who shows me genuine non-psychotic Love.If I were Ellen I may get away with: ' The I'm Gay' level of exposure, but I'm not a comedian, I like men; ( real One's Anyway) and I've only bin in this business for 7 years not 20. Years of recognition can give a person lots of leverage especially if you have many years of positive recognition under your belt. There are certain things that can close doors between a celebrity and certain audiences. Especially in a world where walls are constantly being put up by people seeking comfort and groups to belong to. There is so much out there, over-saturation of music, media, Agenda News, war, political drama, high school prom drama, image drama, religion drama, Bully drama. All this drama is caused by one thing, not understanding the true meaning of communication and the real power behind it. It's tough to learn, I'm working on it myself, but when people come out of nowhere and put words in my mouth or call me Gay, they should really think for one second How they could truly affect my life by doing such things. You don't know what producer, director, would be husband or future audience member may be influenced by these opinions and media content.
Strictly dickly?! Yeah, right. I can spell the pussy on her bref from here! It's her business if she wants to come out or not, but she goes on and on about "being outed." Couldn't she just say that she's a meat eater? Lesbians are so wordy!
Friday, May 4th 2007
Jay-Z's Story is Not Finished Yet
I got a few e-mails proclaiming that Jay-Z was in a plane crash and went down "La Bamba" style. I checked my trusty TMZ to find out the deets:
TMZ has confirmed that a small plane registered to a citizen of Dublin, GA crashed near Asheville, NC in the Smoky Mountains. The FAA tells TMZ that the four-seat propeller plane did go down this morning, but could not provide any additional details.
Sources tell TMZ that he is on his way to Vegas this weekend to take in the Mayweather - de la Hoya fight.
First of all, Jay-Z flies prop?! His luggage maybe, but not him. Luckily, TMZ cleared things up and let a bitch know it wasn't Jay-Z but "three white men."
Jigg wha?! Naw, it's not his time to go. He hasn't gotten Beyonce knocked up and left her ass for a younger woman breaking her heart and ruining her forever. Once this happens, he's free to go.
Friday, May 4th 2007
Queen Sacha
Sacha Baron Cohen aka Borat has signed on to play late Freddie Mercury in a biopic about the Queen lead singer. Reportedly, Sacha beat out Johnny Depp for the role. The film will chronicle Freddie's rise to fame and his hard partying up to his death in 1991 due to complications from AIDS.
A source said, "Film makers are working flat out to get the best possible script. Sacha loves the idea he can get away with playing Freddie after modeling Borat's look on him."
Sacha does have the body hair for the role, that's for sure. This mess could possibly work out.
Richard Simmons could play Brian May and Chloe Sevigny has just enough busted gay face to play Roger Taylor.
Source: Spin
Friday, May 4th 2007
The 2-Foot Tall Pregnant Lady is Getting Married!
"The Insider" once again brings us another installment of the captivating two-foot woman. This time we get to go wedding dress shopping with her at Gymboree...I mean at one of the hottest and exclusive bridal stores in the country or something.
Ok, the fiancee totally creeps me out.
Friday, May 4th 2007
Afternoon Crumbs
Heidi from "The Hills" shows off her fugly new breasts in a photo-op on the beach with her tool boyfriend - Hollywood Tuna
Kim Kardashian and Haylie Duff fight on MySpace, because that's what douches do - IDLYITW
The Spice Girls reunite AGAIN wearing ugly outfits - Drunken Stepfather
Britney can't spell her own name - ASL
Eva LongWHORIA shows us that someone out there actually wants her - Mollygood
Jessica Biel looks old on the cover of Elle - Just Jared
Britney Spear's pussy and it isn't what you think - Cityrag
Julia Roberts is not poor - Hollywood Rag
Natalie Portman lets her boob peek out - Egotastic!
Tori Amos takes NYC - Popbytes
Barbara Walters is a cheeseball - Four Four
Kate Moss is happy on the inside - Popsugar
Friday, May 4th 2007
She's Got Nothing to Smile About
The husband of a woman that was killed in a car accident involving Brandy has sued her ass. The woman's parents are already seeking $50 million from Brandy.
The accident happened in December and the victim's family is blaming Brandy. They believe she was going too fast on the 405 freeway which caused the death of Awatef Aboudihaj.
The husband says that because of his wife's death he has "forever been deprived the support and maintenance, services, guidance, companionship, comfort, affection, solace, moral support, society, care, love, consortium and other benefits."
The amount he's seeking is unknown.
Brandy doesn't have $50 million. I'm sure she barely has $5 million if that. It's sad that a woman died, but they think that because she's a celebrity she's got cash. I've got news, Brandy doesn't have a dime! Can't you tell from her wig selection.
I mean homegirl apologized. It was an accident and it's like she was on drugs or drunk.
She was recently fired from her job on "America's Got Talent."
Source: TMZ
Friday, May 4th 2007
When Stupid People Say Stupid Things
Joel Madden said:
"I could be doing heroin. I really could! Like, without cigarettes, I would be doing heroin, probably."
Ed. Note - WTF is he talking about?! He probably is doing heroin, I mean he is dating Richie. God, he's dumb.
Source: Popbitch
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