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Tuesday, September 25th 2007
Prince Harry Is Officially My Favorite!
This story is a couple of days old, but this is the first I'm hearing of it. I'm glad I did! Prince Harry was reportedly caught on tape snorting Vodka into his nose! The video was taken while 23-year-old Harry was on vacation with his girlfriend Chelsy last November.
In the footage — seen by The Sun — pals egg the royal on as he first takes a SWIG of booze, then SPITS it into the bottle top.Harry — wearing a Crocodile Dundee hat — covers his right nostril with his finger before taking a huge SNIFF through the other.
He throws back his head to take the full “hit” of vodka — and then reels in shock. The Prince is seen shuddering as his friends cheer.
Medical bitches in Britian are pissed. According to them snorting booze can kill, because it is absorbed into the lungs.
Some high-up medical person said, “The medical view is clear. Taking alcohol up the nose increases the risk of direct alcohol damage to the brain.”
That would explain Britney....nevermind!
Who hasn't snorted booze before? The last time I did it we couldn't afford vodka, so we used Thunderbird! It's like a Neti Pot with an extra kick!
Prince Ginge can snort vodka out of my bottle anytime if I ain't being too subtle! Chocolate martini!
Tuesday, September 25th 2007
Go With The Chanel Next Time, Georgie
George Clooney must be straight. Look at the man bag. Wait! Maybe that bag is his beard.
I'm not sure how I feel about the man bag/messenger bag anymore. I mean what does Georgie need to carry? He should have the girlfriend carry his crap while on crutches. Bitch has to work for her pancakes.
Georgie go with something a little more pretty and delicate like you.
Here's George leaving his hotel in NYC today holding on to his boo-boo.
Tuesday, September 25th 2007
They Both Stink
Diddy's stupid ass challenged other celebrity perfumes to a "smell-off." He said, “I send out a challenge…I challenge all of my female counterparts that have fragrances…that my fragrance is better than theirs. I’m a man and I know how women should smell!”
Mimi isn't hearing that. She responded to Diddy's challenge. “I heard about this competition, and I wish Puff all the best with his new fragrance, but I think we're actually appealing to different types of women. M by Mariah Carey is about being unforgettable, not unforgivable. It’s not about a ménage à trois or a one night stand, it’s for the woman who wants the man to fall in love with her immediately, stay in love, and treat her like royalty.”
So is Mimi telling me that all I have to do is roll on down to the Rite-Aid, pick up some of her cheap ass lamb piss on discount, spray that shit all over and it will immediately get a man to fall in love with me and treat me like Grace Kelly?
But wait....is she telling me that Diddy's perfume will get me a threesome?
Ok, I'm going with Diddy. Sorry two dicks are better than one.
Tuesday, September 25th 2007
Bunker? Is That What He's Calling It?
Tom Cruise is planning to shell out 10 million clams on an underground bunker in his Telluride, Colorado home reports Star Magazine . The joint will have its own air purification system and enough equipment and supplies for 10 people to last years.
Scientologists believe that when Xenu comes to Earth to attack, they will need a safe place to stay. Tommy Girl has been watching way too much Lost. You know he thinks Matthew Fox is dreamy.
Let's be real here for a second. Tommy Girl is not building a bunker. He's building a bath house. I mean...that sounds like a bath house to me. He's going to tell everyone it's for when the evil ruler of the Universe comes to town, they will all hide down there. The only hiding going on in that bunker will be Tommy's tongue hiding in some twink's butt. Truth. Yes.
Oh and Xenu is not the evil ruler of the universe. Skeletor is! DUH!!! Everyone knows that.
Tuesday, September 25th 2007
You're Probably Going To Lose Sleep Over This
The Bachelor can't match people up for shit! Charlie O'Connell, brother of Jerry, and Sarah Brice have broken up. Hey, they lasted two years. That might be a Bachelor record.
Sarah told InTouch , “I definitely thought I’d spend the rest of my life with him — I think we both did — but there were some things between us that we couldn’t resolve.”
Oh and she's keeping the dog in case you care. Good choice Sarah. The dog is cuter than Charlie. Actually, he (Charlie not the dog) looks like he has a huge mushroom head. I'd give it a spin. Oh ok, the dog too. I can't tell a lie.
I have the newest season of the Bachelor in my DVR, but I just don't know if I can bring myself to watch it. Each season I fall in love only to get my heart broken when the winning girl gets dumped. I don't know if I can take another.
And all the bachelors look the same.
Tuesday, September 25th 2007
White Oprah, Get That Pen Out!
The Canterbury Institute in New Jersey have unveiled a new ads featuring the headline "DON'T DIE LINDSAY." They think Lindsay needs to stop with the rehab and get medical help instead.
It goes on to read, “While the rest of the world is going in and out of rehab, Canterbury Institute is changing the rules of addiction treatment….”
More like "Don't Die Britney!"
You just know White Oprah is fuming! Get that pen out homegirl. I can't wait to hear what you have to say about this one. Actually, she's probably gonna call them to try and get Lindsay to pose for them. Anything for the dollar!
Oh and that ad is stupid!
Tuesday, September 25th 2007
I'm Sure You Were "There" For Her
Joe Simpson talked to FoxNews about why his little plastic dumplings, Chestica and Asshole, aren't like Britney, Lindsay and the others.
He said, "We have a real family. You can’t just put these kids out in the world and they’re on their own. I can remember a time when Jessica was singing at Madison Square Garden and her outfit ripped before she went on. We were there for her."
Um....Papa Joe probably weakened the thread so her dress would rip. I'm sure he was there for her. By "we" he means his fingers.
He also confirmed that Chestica's next album will be country music.
"Willie Nelson really likes her," he said. "We’re going to go down there and really get into it."
Get into it?! A threesome?! OH HELL NO. I gotta go wash out my eyes with bleach. I just didn't read that.
Tuesday, September 25th 2007
Phoebe Price Has Made It!
Phoebe Price has hit the big time. I'm so proud of her. No, she didn't land an acting job. She's on TMZ! Hey, that's making it to PP and me. Oh PP, we've worked so hard to get here!
TMZ caught PP dining at the Ivy where she showed them every magazine she's in. True to PP form, she even showed them the magazines where they named her the "worst dressed." Hey, bad publicity is good publicity!
Somebody please hire this woman! She needs to take Hollywood by storm already!
Thanks Diana
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