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Nicole Richie has finally popped. She had a baby girl today at Cedars in Los Angeles. They have named her Harlow Winter Kate Madden and she weighed 6 lbs., 7 oz. LIES! Drop the pounds part and then we're talking. 7 oz. is more like it.

No that picture isn't of Nicole's baby. It's a month old picture. I'm sure Nicole's baby is a lot smaller. A LOT. Like microscopic.

Their spokeswhore said, "The beautiful healthy baby girl left the hospital with her ecstatic parents."

Congrats to Nicole, her douche boyfriend and their little Thumbelina. I'm not too sure about the Harlow name. It might grow on me. I'm guessing they named her after Jean Harlow. Harlow Winter sort of sound like a clown's name. A sad clown's name and sad clowns make me sad.

It was a busy day at Cedars. Not only did Richie pop, but so did Xtina (see below), Courtney Thorne-Smith and David Alan Grier's wife. DAMN! You know it was smelly as hell in there. Vagina juices flying. Happy baby day!

Life & Style reports that Xtina popped out a baby at Cedars earlier today in Los Angeles. Xtina was scheduled to have a c-section sometime this weekend. A neighbor of Bat Boy's father confirms that she's given birth. The neighbor said, "Of course! I talked to Jack earlier today. He's so happy to be a grandfather. He's thrilled to be a grandfather again, for the second time."

Neighbors are so damn nosy with big mouths. No word on what kind of citrus fruit Xtina popped out, but we know that bitch's baby is going to be orange. It was also reported earlier that she was having a boy. Poor boy is going to come out orange with a full face of make-up and bat wings.

I can't wait to hear the name of this one. Bat Boy Jr. has a lovely ring to it.

When are editors of magazines going to realize that Keira Knightley fugs up covers! It's a proven fact. Yes, she's wearing a hideous denim bra, but somebody else could've pulled that off. KK looks she is on her last leg. Give the bitch some water. She looks thirsty. Thirsty I tell you. I also think they photoshopped her to look even more hollow. I didn't think that was possible.

Above is KK on W Magazine and below is KK with James McAvoy on W for the subscribers.

Source: Fashion Spot

Nicole Richie is reportedly giving birth right now. Hahah! Can you stand it? For some reason I don't know if I needed to know that. I picture her spread eagle and...ugh...

Joel Madden was overheard walking into the delivery area at Cedars in Los Angeles and saying, "She's going to start pushing soon." Pushing my ass! That bitch is having a c-section followed by a tummy tuck. I know how these bitches do it. Besides how hard can it be to push out a lima bean?

It also seems Nicole has some competition. It's also being reported that Xtina's at Cedars as well waiting to pop hers out. While Nicole's popping a lima bean, Xtina will pop a little tangerine. That delivery room is going to look like a salad bar.

Source: UsWeekly

In his new tell-all on Tom Cruise, Andrew Morton claims that Katie Holmes had to sign a contract committing her to Scientology. The contract states that "Scientologists have full control over her life." It also states that she will only use Scientology treatments and "must never use psychiatric care or psychiatric drugs."

Katie's father, Martin the lawyer, also negotiated a pre-nup that would give Katie $3 million for every year she was married to Tommy Girl.

Tommy's rep denies the claims and said Katie has never signed any sort of contract.

$3 million a year might sound like a lot of money, but not when you have to sell your soul to the alien cause. Yes, I'd probably do it for a bucket of KFC, but it's KFC! That shit is delicious even if it's made with rats. I mean.....Katie might have made that much money on her own.

I guarantee you they will be divorced before their 10th anniversary just like Nicole.

Source: UsWeekly

The story you are about to read has nothing to do with Angelina Jolie and her creepy brother, but I couldn't find a picture of the brother and sister in the story. This picture felt fitting.

Twins that were separated at birth married each other not knowing they were brother and sister. They were adopted to different families and only found out they were related after they got married. The names of the twins and how they met have been kept secret. A High Court judge in Britain has agreed to annul the marriage.

This case has brought up the issue of adopted children knowing their complete history. Lord David Alton said, "They were never told they were twins. They met later in life and felt an inevitable attraction, and the judge had to deal with the consequences of their marriage that they entered into, and all the issues of their separation. The right for children to know the identity of their biological parents is a human right. There will be more cases like this if children are not given access to the truth. The needs of the child must always be paramount."

I'm sure they wish they never found out. What you don't know can't hurt you. Well, unless they had babies and they came out having three eyes and shit. I wonder if they looked alike at all? Maybe that's why they wanted to do each other. Egotistical!

Adopted bitches should totally have a right to know if they have brothers or sisters at least. This kind of sad shit shouldn't happen again. Think about it. You found your soulmate only to find out you both came out of the same vagina. It kind of kills the romance.

Source

Thanks Donna

Janice Dickinson went on "Red Eye" this week and claimed Sylvester Stallone regularly used steroids and even injected her with it. She said, "He juiced me. I'd wake up and my arm was as big as Popeye - steroids, testosterone, all that stuff that people say [mimicking Stallone voice], 'Hey, it's not that good 'cause you get really big, you know what I mean?' "

Page Six asked Sly's rep about it who said bitch was lying. "Janice Dickinson lied about the origin of her child, and she's lying about this." He said she was a publicity hound who will say anything for attention.

True, but I believe it. It also looks like they are still using roids. The both of them. They look like they inject that stuff into their ugly ass faces. They are two injections away from looking like Eric Stoltz in Mask.

Leave it to the Daily Mail. They posted these pics of Helena Bonham Carter's lovely teeth and stache at the Sweeney Todd premiere yesterday in London. In her defense I think the shadow is making her stache look extra stachier. Yes, I made up that word.

It's just a little dick cheese on the teeth. There's nothing wrong with that. She probably blew Tim Burton in the car and his cheese is all over her teeth. He's got major Pepperidge Farm dick. Wash yourself Tim! Oh nevermind that. Looks like Helena has already washed it for you.

Thanks Bananas