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Get the Dlisted carrier pigeon! I need to send Jamie Lynn Spears a note: "Dear JL, You are not Juno. It was a damn movie. Only a movie. Now go slap your sister for me. xoxoxoMichael"

Star Magazine claims that JL is planning to hand her baby over to her mother, Lynne, as soon as she gives birth. JL wants to concentrate on her career. What career? She's having a laugh!

A source said, “After several weeks of personal soul searching and talks and discussions with her mum Jamie Lynn reluctantly agreed that giving up the baby is the right thing to do. Lynne says Jamie doesn’t understand the life long consequences of having a baby. She still wants her daughter to be able to be a teenager, go to parties, hang out with friends and have a career. So she’ll take the front seat of caring for the baby and take the pressure off her daughter.”

Jamie Lynn's manager has reportedly advised her to have the baby, take pictures with it, sell the pictures and then hand the baby over to Lynne. The source went on to say, “Lynne is convinced that having a baby on her hip will not help Jamie Lynn’s future in the business and she’s expecting her daughter to pick up where she left off as soon as the baby is born.”

Lynne is apparently excited about raising another baby. Great! That one will be having babies by the age of 11 and drinking Frapps by the age of 1! Wonderful things to look forward to.

At least Britney's not asking to take care of the baby. Shit! I just gave her an idea. What have I done?

Source - Image: Popbytes

I've never been to Baltimore, but I wish I had been in the 80s, because this commercial is hot shit. It's for Mr. Ray's Hair Weave and I guess it doesn't exist anymore. A shame. I called to make an appointment, but the digits belong to another joint. No free consultation needed for me. I was going to order whatever the hot white woman in the commercial had done. She is looking and feeling fine her new look. I can tell. I would be every kind of hot in that weave. I'm being serious.

All commercials need to be made just like this.

Thanks Peaches

Here's that old fart, Bruce Willis, looking like a crossing guard taking this child safely to the other side in NYC yesterday. That child happens to be his girlfriend, model Emma Hemming.

How lovely to be a Bruce Willis! You get to date a fetus. He's smiling, because he knows it.

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I got this e-mail about this "underground movement" going on for lesbians that do not want to be called "lesbian" anymore. I have no idea if this shit is old news and I'm barely getting in on it, but what the hell? They are calling themselves Gayelle. That sounds like the name of a drag queen performance group that does Sunday brunches in my neighborhood. The Gayelle website reads:

By choosing gayelle, the feminine factors in “the equation of who is gay and who is not” can reassert their interest in the word gay, as well as, assert a displeasure for the word lesbian. More importantly, however, to choose gayelle over lesbian, would demonstrate a form of action that, most assuredly, would be helpful in restoring the rightful dignity that belongs to the mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends, who have been victims of hatemongering and or a poorly-conceived joke, and or, a lack of sensitivity.

Gayelle is the logical and reasonable alternative, in that, it contains the words gay and elle (the French pronoun for “she”). Gayelle is a word that has relevance to our time, and it’s easy to say, as in the gay-gayelle community. Unlike the capitalized form of Lesbian, which is defined “a native or inhabitant of Lesbos,” and “of or pertaining to Lesbos;” gayelle and the capitalized form Gayelle, in essence, have the same meaning.

The choice is yours. Be hip and sapphic-chic with your preference for gayelle. Define this decade of the 21st-century with a new word and a new outlook. Go gayelle!

I'm not flunet in Gayelle yet, so I have no idea what the hell that says. Lesbo is like an ancient word taken from the Island of Lesbos in Ancient Greece. That's where the first chicks did each other or something. The Island of Lesbos is now known as the Rosie Family Cruises.

Gayelle is the gayest thing I ever heard of in my life. Hey, but if that's what you want to be called, more power to you. I will gladly call you Gayelle to your face and then turn around and call you a "stupid dyke" behind your back. I won't say it too loud, because I'm scared of Gayelles. They can beat me up.

And for the record, all the lesbians I know would never want to be called a Gayelle. If they did, I would have to dick slap them and that wouldn't be pleasant for either of us.

Oh how I thought Dollhouse Dude was just a one-day-stand, but he's returned to me. I really needed him today too. Dollhouse Dude was at the press conference for the Brit/KFed custody hearing today. In case you don't know who DD is, he's this dude that hangs around after every hearing. He's usually on the TMZ live feeds from the courthouse. He's from Guatemala and he tells amazing jokes and by "amazing" I mean not funny. He barely knows who Britney is.

I don't know what he's doing with that tape recorder. Probably to look official, but I doubt it works. When is Dollhouse Dude getting his own show already?!

Thanks Peaches

Tony Romo has seen the light and is getting sick of Jessica Simpson so says OK! Magazine. Sources are telling them that Tony tried to dumped Chestica's annoying ass last week. He's sick of Jessica always having to have an entourage with her including daddy.

A source told them that Tony told her he just wanted to be friends. Jessica wouldn't let it happen. The source said, "'Just friends' is not in Jessica's vocabulary, and she is not a victim. She knows how bad this will look in the media."

Jess wouldn't let up, so Tony invited her to what he thinks would be the worst date ever, a hunting trip! He told Jess that he wanted to go hunting with her and without her people.

Oh shit! He's going to shoot her ass. Don't go Jess if you know what's good for you. Tony is going to give her a brown fur coat as a gift and then tell her to growl like a bear, because it really turns him on. Then he's going to shoot her ass and claim he thought she was a bear!

Eva LongWHORIA's stupid ass got a new tattoo. Apparently it's Tony Parker's jersey number...9. It looks like June to me, but it looks like nine too. The only thing I can see clearly about that tattoo is that it's fugly stupid. What happens when her marriage ends or if Tony stops playing basketball? I guess she can tell everyone it's her iq. Dumb bitch.

Here's Eva looking like a foolio at LAX yesterday and being a whore in virgin white in London today.

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